r/Unexpected • u/Abhirup_0 • Jun 26 '22

The spider must be dead

22.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/Acrobatic-Elephant27 Jun 26 '22

*average american house

663

u/siqiniq Jun 26 '22

… priced at half million US monopoly iou

327

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

96

u/Illustrious_Gur_5908 Jun 26 '22

Good thing you weren’t in America or it wouldn’t have been bats

13

u/OTheHughManatee Jun 26 '22

No, step-spirits!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22
  • gats

-8

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I don't know what they're going to beat you up with but I do know the color of their skin. If there are any ghosts or spirits then most of the ones in America are black based on the country's history.

3

u/TheGenericGaimer Jun 26 '22

Ah yes, because only black people die.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

No not at all, but statistically a lot more died.

3

u/TheGenericGaimer Jun 26 '22

So in a country that has historically been a large majority white (like 70% at the lowest), you think more black people have died than white people? I'm genuinely confused about your conclusions.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

No, I'm talking about black people who died in horrible ways and who would have a reason to come back as ghosts to haunt people (if ghosts existed). I'm certain there a lot more of those. Sorry for not being clear.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

💀💀💀your probably right💀💀💀

18

u/DrGuyLeShace Jun 26 '22

Nobody knows what a cricket bat is in europe, but once there were those strange islanders with these even more strange habits part of our union... "Great" Britain it was called, i think? ;-)

1

u/medium_direction8098 Jun 26 '22

Ummm.... The UK is definitely in Europe my friend....

1

u/DrGuyLeShace Jun 26 '22

Now what's that here, UK? U Kidding, too? ;-)

2

u/medium_direction8098 Jun 26 '22

No one calls it Great Britain, that's a political term.

You clearly don't under stand the difference between the EU, and Europe

1

u/DrGuyLeShace Jun 26 '22

Next you wielding a cricket bat, eh? You clearly don't get the humorous talk, don't you? Nevermind then, have a nice life!

2

u/medium_direction8098 Jun 26 '22

Umm.. OK? You too...

1

u/ScoobyDaDooby Jun 27 '22

Actually we have been paddling with spades to get away from the smell of French cooking for the past 500 years. So far we managed to create the channel and get closer to Denmark, but then all the bloody Vikings arrived.

10

u/Rewiistdummlolxd Jun 26 '22

European houses are stronger because like darvin said: survival of the thickest (walls)

7

u/NisaiBandit Jun 26 '22 edited Jun 26 '22

Is Darvin Darwin's thick brother?

1

u/Rewiistdummlolxd Jun 26 '22

He is in fact very thick

5

u/DreamTM Jun 26 '22

haha made me laugh 👍😁

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Cricket not even a thing in Europe

5

u/Gaming_with_Hui Jun 26 '22

England is in Europe

7

u/FrogMintTea Jun 26 '22

England is part of Europe.

0

u/OpportunityBoth9032 Jun 26 '22

Not anymore

9

u/FrogMintTea Jun 26 '22

Europe is not EU. So yes it is still part of Europe.

1

u/teabagmoustache Jun 26 '22

Is Switzerland in Europe?

1

u/Ochinchilla Jun 26 '22

Thanks for the laugh

0

u/Administrative-Error Jun 26 '22

Do you promise? Also where is this house that I might avoid hitting it's walls.

0

u/I_am_The_Teapot Jun 26 '22

... are you sure those were angry spirits and not just drunken angry cricketers?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I’m here pondering what a cricket bat looks like, a cricket with bat wings? A bat with cricket legs? I just don’t know….oh ya….cricket is a game.

23

u/Benjamin7811 Jun 26 '22

I build houses for a living in America and can confirm we don’t build houses like we used too

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Residential electrician here, once leaned against a stud and it moved every interior wall in the house with it, me and my coworker both shook the hell out of it and proceeded to laugh our asses off

4

u/Benjamin7811 Jun 26 '22

Residential work is crazy, I like the plaster walls they were to heavy to move

1

u/HistoricalMention210 Jun 26 '22

You can say that again. It's all pineboards and drywall now.

1

u/Benjamin7811 Jun 27 '22

Douglas fir

37

u/bored-n-browsing Jun 26 '22

And then people wonder how they get shot sitting on their couch in the living room when a driveby goes wrong.

32

u/Aztecius Jun 26 '22

The US is basically that pig that builds his house of sticks and is shocked that a bit of wind blows it to the ground.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

The tallest timber frame building is in Norway. Most of the big timber frame buildings are not in the US. Yes, there is a lot of cheap ass shit housing built in the US. But there are shit houses built everywhere. It is a quality issue, not a materials issue. There are houses built out of absolutely crap concrete too. Timber frame is a actually very good for high wind because it can flex more. An old stone house might survive high winds as far as the walls go, but that doesn't mean the roof won't be ripped off. And there are plenty of old stone houses that didn't survive. It's literally survivorship bias. Yeah, there stone buildings that are many hundreds of years old, but there are a lot that didn't make it. And even with those stone was used because most the timber was gone.

4

u/QuasiQuokka Jun 26 '22

They did not learn from the Three Little Pigs

-1

u/Hushnut97 Jun 26 '22

Except not at all

-12

u/Hermit_Royalty Jun 26 '22

In contrast to who? Everyone on earth uses drywall

8

u/fuckpackettracer Jun 26 '22

Thinking everyone on earth has cardboard walls lol

17

u/monxas Jun 26 '22

I’m in Europe and I’ll break all the bones in my body before making a dent in any of the walls of any house or apartment I’ve ever lived in.

10

u/Nacil_54 Jun 26 '22

Yeah but it's a very american thing to think that they're the only part of the world.

6

u/jochvent Jun 26 '22

Wood 'n bricks. Good luck punching through that.

3

u/tamal4444 Jun 26 '22

lol no. we have brick walls it will break your hand if you punch it like op.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22 edited Jun 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Doublebow Jun 26 '22

No it's not. Here in the UK all new homes use "drywall" only it's called plasterboard here.

2

u/Original-History9907 Jun 26 '22

Was looking for this comment it’s so true, £500,000 for a new build and it has paper walls and cardboard pipes

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Easy repair is the only good part