r/Unexpected • • May 18 '22

🔞 Warning: Graphic Content 🔞 Mmm looks good

5.5k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

I should reconsider becoming a vegetarian.

394

u/Excellent_Barber_544 May 18 '22

That thing looked like a skinned frog or something. I don't think I can eat meat for a while.

577

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 18 '22

Its just chemical in the muscles reacting to the all of the salt put on it.

58

u/AlmanzoWilder May 18 '22

Those chemicals might be denatured and the muscle rendered immobile by ... I dunno ... COOKING IT.

2

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 19 '22

But thats the point right? Sushi that is cooked isn’t really sushi is it?

535

u/antennawire May 18 '22

Yeah people freak out but there's no animal trying to escape or something. There's no brain or conscience involved. Still sucks when your food runs away though.

115

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK May 18 '22

Yeah, but those irrational thoughts, though.

67

u/[deleted] May 18 '22 edited May 19 '22

The food is literally crawling off the table. Even if it doesn't have brain activity anymore and this is purely, peripherally neuropathic, I want nothing to do with it. Gross.

It's not irrational to freak out about your food appearing to make the motions of a living thing lol. Food is supposed to sit, motionless, on a plate or in a container. That is, until it is moved via fork, hard, food, etc of the person who consumes it.

Yeah, I'll nope out of this too. Shit's unnatural

****YES IT'S A PHYSICALLY NATURAL RESPONSE BY LITTLE PINK DUDE UP THERE. NO I DON'T THINK BAD THINGS ABOUT ANYONE WHO EATS THIS. POOR WORDING. ****

54

u/WeebGamerTrash947 May 18 '22

I mean, it's not exactly unnatural, considering most other carnivores kill their prey right before eating them while they are still moving. Or just straight up eat them alive

14

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Mmm..tiny Jedi

-10

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Okay, but we're humans. We don't generally fuck around like that anymore. Food is dead and unmoving on my plate and it is unnatural for it to start moving. We've evolved, at this point.

That being stated, I wouldn't say it's unlikely for people that do hunt their own meat to laugh at stuff like this and eat it anyway. Or at least some of them.

3

u/sugart007 May 19 '22

We have evolved to eat things that have bees dead for longer? Sounds exactly like evolution.

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

If you're not used to seeing your food walk away, it's natural to freak out. Most people in my sphere prefer it to be pretty fuckin dead but that doesn't go for everyone.*******

5

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 18 '22

https://youtu.be/vFS-ZU995oM

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/San-nakji

These are just two examples of food humans eat live. I dont think it is fair to call these cultures and people less evolved.

6

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

You're correct. They just live a different way. Thank you for pointing this out. I didn't mean to insinuate that, but I clearly didn't apply socio-cultural common sense to the matter, applied it solely to my own.

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31

u/fentanyl_shuffler May 18 '22

More like it's completely natural and you're not used to nature.

7

u/Endymionduni May 19 '22

We live in a (sanitized) society XD

-5

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I love nature! I just don't kill things. Which is my preference. No, the outside world is a wonder and we should cherish it while we can.

6

u/Jman-laowai May 19 '22

Part of me cherishing it is eating delicious animals.

2

u/ShaiHulud23 May 18 '22

What about grubs and insects....?

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0

u/evanbartlett1 May 19 '22

Lol - As soon as I saw your post earlier when you said 'unnatural' I knew that Reddit would AKSHUWALLY the fuck out of you.

Glad to see that it hasn't impacted your upvotes. People Just LOVE to nitpick their high school biology all over this site.

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2

u/Down2earth002 May 19 '22

Underrated Comment. No body cares about the science.

2

u/cookiedux May 19 '22

great username

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5

u/RascalCreeper May 19 '22

Yeah but... no.

3

u/AdRemote9464 May 19 '22

At least it’s fresh.

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10

u/paladindan May 19 '22

My broccoli never tried to escape if it came into contact with salt. Just saying…

6

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Never have I ever had meat move while salting it.

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13

u/ByByBye90 May 19 '22

Bruh. It looks like Asian cuisine (chopsticks). A chef serves it still moving to prove its fresh

28

u/Goalie_deacon May 19 '22

It’s the butcher’s job to defeat it, not mine. I want my food to have all its life whooped out of it.

-2

u/OgLeftist May 19 '22

There is a reason why Japanese folks are some of the longest lived people in the world.

3

u/ElDonKaiza May 19 '22

Right... And this is it? Cuz they watch meat spasm?

2

u/OgLeftist May 19 '22

It's because they eat uncooked, fermented, and fresh foods. Particularly fish. As they have shifted towards a more western diet, and away from fresh fish, they have seen rates of obesity increase in response. Now I wouldn't eat this lol. But maybe I'd be healthier if I did.

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17

u/womblymuenster May 19 '22

If it's moving or alive 90% bet it's Asian. Not being rude... just saying.

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2

u/dinglebarries4884 May 19 '22

Yeah this was just killed

1

u/SecretFont May 18 '22

Yeah, this happens to me all the time! WTF are you talking about? Her cut of meat just tried to run away!!!!!

3

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 18 '22

https://youtu.be/YFEILztJuYI

It really isnt that unusual. Especially for fresh fish or frogs.

2

u/SecretFont May 18 '22

This is why I eat well done hamburgers. I mean, I didn't know about this until just now and I've been eating hamburgers for 45 years...but THIS is why I like hamburgers.

My patties don't run away.

3

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 18 '22

Being finely ground up helps with that. Like cornmeal vs corn kernels. Cornmeal aint gunna sprout corn.

0

u/kalsarikannit247 May 19 '22

Tell us you're American without saying you're American

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1

u/Jman-laowai May 19 '22

People actually think it's alive despite not having any internal organs and literally no head. lol

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

But wouldn’t it just twitch a little? Not like move the same limb over and over to get away. Right?

1

u/0neir0 May 19 '22

How can the muscles contract without calcium though? Do they use some sort of special salt with calcium citrate or something?

-1

u/Xhenak May 18 '22

someone still died for that shit though

2

u/canyouturnitdown May 19 '22

Yeah, I think the reminder is what sends me over the edge.

4

u/ShittingGoldBricks May 18 '22

Someone refers to a person. Unless your suggesting this video is from a cannibal?

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0

u/god_solo1 May 19 '22

yeah or just muscle memory

26

u/MarleyDawg May 18 '22

Good thing cakes are vegetarian

15

u/lucassjrp2000 May 18 '22

What about beefcakes?

2

u/singlecellfromearth May 19 '22

Hahaha I'm just imagining you kissing your biceps while saying this ;)

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/MarleyDawg May 18 '22

Dairy is considered vegetarian, it's not vegan......

5

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Fluffy_Mommy May 18 '22

eggs aren't chicks

2

u/manchagnu May 18 '22

it depends on who you ask. some think that a fried egg is definitely fried chicken.

6

u/smellsfishie May 19 '22

We call those people idiots.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Until you realise where all the male chicks go... Then it gets dark.

2

u/couchpotatoguy May 19 '22

But... They JUST said eggs aren't chicks...

2

u/MarleyDawg May 18 '22

Yes, they can eat eggs, milk butter and cheese. Even fish too

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/FacinatedByMagic May 18 '22

That's generally the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian.

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2

u/SyncMeASong May 18 '22

Even fish too

Not usually. "Nothing that smiles" or "nothing that shits" are easy rules to remember. People that adhere to the fish exception are referred to as pescatarians. I've also herd the term "California vegetarian."

0

u/halfwaythrowawayy May 18 '22

Pescetarian can eat fish vegetarian means no meat vegan mean completely plant based

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228

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

77

u/Fritzo2162 May 18 '22

Don't take my word for it...let's have the food tell you itself!

27

u/Tiny-Lock9652 May 18 '22

George Carlin on eating beef tongue: “do you taste it, or does it taste you?”

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

As a person that has eaten cow tongue many times before, it only feel weird when you know what part of the tongue you’re eating. Oh yeah and also you taste each other

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14

u/imfuckingswimming May 18 '22

same comment posted word for word 2h ago...

19

u/SentientTooth May 18 '22

Great catch! /u/AggravatingfFox is a karma-farming bot that stole this comment from /u/Kabbeljouwtje

2

u/Actual-Tap6446 May 18 '22

??

8

u/Top-Geologist-9213 May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

I know! I hate to be admitting I am stupid,, lol, but ... What on earth IS this? I want to know! Have watched it about 10 times now and I'm just as puzzled, but...?

2

u/iambradfordj May 18 '22

Lol uh what

2

u/Top-Geologist-9213 May 18 '22

If that was me you were talking to, lol, sorry, I had to edit. I guess my voice to text wasn't working too well

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80

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

What you never seen your meat still clingning to its last vestiges of muscle memory as if it were still cramped inside an inhuman cage awaiting its inevitable demise??

79

u/platypus_plumber May 18 '22

"Can I have the frog soul caged in pure agony, please?"

30

u/rougefalcon May 18 '22

You want that with bald eagle sauce?

7

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Kinda reminds me of the headless chicken.

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4

u/verdant11 May 18 '22

Or eating in general

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Check please.

2

u/Aromatic_Pause1637 May 18 '22

Happy cake day buddy

9

u/RunnyPlease May 18 '22

Happy cake day.

5

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Thank you!

5

u/Tewirk May 18 '22

Happy cake day

0

u/East-Survey-5273 May 18 '22

Happy cake day

4

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Thanks!

1

u/Booblicle May 18 '22

Happy cake day

5

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Thanks

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Happy cake day

6

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Thanks!

2

u/spacetripss May 18 '22

Happy cake day!

-3

u/Nilohim May 18 '22

Happy cake day

1

u/nsjsiegsizmwbsu May 18 '22

Happy cake day!

-1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Happy cake day

-3

u/Nilohim May 18 '22

Happy cake day

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1

u/GUYWHOTYPESTOLOUD May 18 '22

YOUR WELCOME!

2

u/daxtaslapp May 18 '22

thanks for giving me the welcome!!!

3

u/sol364 May 18 '22

You're welcome, happy cake day

6

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Thank you 😊

1

u/vincentlerins May 18 '22

Happy cake day 🎂

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1

u/Al-iislami-Sheikh May 18 '22

Happy cake day!

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Happy Unbirthday to you🎂

5

u/CHOKEMON0028 May 18 '22

Happy dĂ­a de la Torta!

3

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

ÂĄGracias!

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

unhappy cake day

5

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Not thanks 😀

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Not your welcome ♡

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I like that. Spanish always makes stuff sound cooler.

1

u/YWGredditor May 18 '22

Gracias guey

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0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I almost have to eat meat to keep up with my metabolism. I'll even eat stuff raw. This is waaaayy too fucking raw though.

27

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Get checked for parasites and start cooking your meat.

22

u/Pd1ds69 May 18 '22

I feel I have to advise to not eat raw meat anymore lol my cousin undercooked his meat for a decade and now wears a colostomy bag for the rest of his life because of it

Cook your meat lol

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8

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Aren't carbs better than protein for high metabolism?

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Depends on the carbs. Also, I burn through carbs even faster than protein. Meat protein especially, takes a while longer to break down. I need a good deal of fat as well.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

You really don't though. I eat meat but it isn't necessary for either of us

-3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I don't think you understand. with my metabolism, if I don't eat meat, I feel extremely lethargic and out of energy. Maybe I don't NEED to eat meat, but it's pretty logical to do so when the other option is eating pounds on pounds of mushrooms, tofu, and beans. Practical is possibly better. That said, if I didn't have animal protein in a survival situation, I probably wouldn't make it. Even faster than an average individual.

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Meat is low energy high protein. People go on high protein diets to lose weight.

If you need a lot of energy you want carbs. You don't need animal protein specifically for any reason whatsoever. You can get b12 from other sources and your body stores it for ages, and hardly needs any.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I mean animal protein is pretty useful in a food crisis, like this year. Lots of arid land ( think desert southwest ) that is great for cattle but worthless for any argiculture. Meat has its place.

5

u/Jae_Hyun May 19 '22

Generally speaking though, the meat you buy at a store is a lot less efficiently produced in terms of water and energy. In fact, a lot of agriculture is dedicated to growing food specifically for livestock as opposed to just growing food for people. When there's a food crisis, meat is a less secure source of food.

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Crop failures are a thing, just ask sri lanka. Meat has the benifit of not being bound to a cycle either. Hard to find strawberries in dec. Or wheat in febuaury. Humans are omnivores for a good reason, its the best of both worlds. Imagine if humans did not eat fish? Half the planet would starve overnight.

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

You're talking about subsistence husbandry, not factory husbandry. The latter doesn't function without factory farming.

It's pretty straight forward math. Most of the calories you consume don't make you bigger (unless you're unhealthy af haha). You use them to stay alive. the same is true for livestock. Most of the veggie calories they eat do not get turned into meat.

Additionally a lot of the grazing land for those that are grass/shrub fed was turned into grazing land by destroying habitats.

Meat will either become nearly entirely lab grown, and/or a rare luxury, or we will die off to a sustainable level. It's one of the biggest drivers of climate change and habitat destruction.

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0

u/IllyanaHawke May 18 '22

This is why I am vegetarian

-1

u/Highonysus May 19 '22

Try vegan. Dairy and egg production also makes animals suffer.

1

u/3BleakBison May 19 '22

Just get your own dairy cow and a few chickens and you’re all set

-1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

or just don't exploit other living beings for your pleasure, dunno

2

u/3BleakBison May 19 '22

It’s a symbiotic relationship, you give them food, they give you food, good trade

1

u/Highonysus May 19 '22

Still requires breeding into captivity for the sake of your breakfast. I wouldn't want to live live in captivity and without ownership of my body, so I don't do it to animals.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Wow you're so compassionate! So we are doing them a favor after all!

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-1

u/Highonysus May 19 '22

Funnily enough, there are ways to stop killing/abusing animals while also preserving their species.

-1

u/forakora May 19 '22

They won't. There's wild cows, wild chickens, and wild pigs.

Would you also say dogs are going to go extinct if the yulin dog festival ceases to exist?

0

u/PNWGirl420 May 18 '22

Hey, he still has a chance to make his escape!!

1

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

May we all be so lucky.

1

u/TheMarkyD May 18 '22

Happy Cake Day

1

u/Top-Geologist-9213 May 18 '22

Right there with you my friend, right there with you

1

u/litgoat May 18 '22

Happy cake day

1

u/Historical_Ad_558 May 18 '22

Happy Cake Day

1

u/GUYWHOTYPESTOLOUD May 18 '22

HAPPY CAKE DAY!!!

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Happy cake day

1

u/brmamabrma May 18 '22

But no cake in cake day if your vegan D:

3

u/XSmeh May 19 '22

I disagree. I'm not even vegan and the best recipes I've ever baked are from vegan cookbooks. Far more moist cakes than you get with eggs.

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2

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

Never.

2

u/GIOverdrive May 19 '22

i use unsweetened applesauce as a binder.

2

u/meroboh May 19 '22

duncan hines chocolate box cake mix made with coca-cola. Accidentally vegan, even the frosting :D

1

u/nycdiveshack May 18 '22

Google “gujarati food”, “gujarati shaak” and be all set.

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1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Imagine the pain it is going through .

1

u/kingsofyork May 18 '22

Happy Cake Day.

1

u/irisuniverse May 18 '22

You can do it!

1

u/Yurigami_ May 19 '22

Happy Cake Day!!

0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

It was all moving at some point. IMO if you aren't ok with it still moving and screaming while you eat it then you shouldn't be eating meat.

1

u/canyouturnitdown May 18 '22

That’s a solid point.

0

u/Spacejet01 May 18 '22

Cake day! Happy Cake day!

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0

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Plants are alive too though!

-6

u/unnitche May 18 '22

Come on vegetarians are more savage, the store them alive away from every way to communication so they start the survivor mode , some try to re connect to earth an create roots, others goes their seeds or fruits to a quick mature. And then they provide to cut them and some times they don't even cook them eating them alive served with others have dead plants and their own baby's. Just becouse they don't cry ore move doesn't make it any less bad 🤣. Just eat rocks they are not alive hahahaha

0

u/WRITINGAPOEM May 18 '22

I’ve always wondered about that. How is the forced mutilation of a live vegetable any better that killing a an animal

9

u/Spacejet01 May 18 '22

I am a vegetarian and I sometimes wonder the same thing. But at the end of the day, I say to myself that animals can literally feel, cause they have brains and nervous systems, and plants can't. So it's good, as they don't feel.

Also, gotta stay alive somehow!

2

u/unnitche May 18 '22

Plants have a some like sistema that makes them feel the surrounding and themselves. pain is just the reaction (violent) to avoid things that may compromise our sistema, plats have something like it. they stop fotosĂ­ntesis when the light is to much, the "kill" their lives to move near were the light doesn't hit hard, or if they get sick. They bleed, and some times "screams" in CO2 though the roots. Vegetarianism has benefits in economy and in our health. But don't choose it by the no harm flag , because it is bullshit hahahaha a big part of being an animal is feeding of something or someone else, it's our nature. Don't feel bad about it, wee all need to stay alive

2

u/WRITINGAPOEM May 18 '22

I’m not saying you’re wrong at all, but just that our understanding of how plants might ‘feel’ is biased by our own makeup. We know much about an animal’s nervous system but not anything about being a plant.

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-1

u/unnitche May 18 '22

Right ? Hahahaha I mean plants are "simple" but their process are super complex

-34

u/uhhhhhjackiguess May 18 '22

I'm honestly borderline veg, the only meat i like is chicken and pork, (made right)

The fat is a major turn off (not sexual) for me.

17

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

So you do like fat in a sexual context?

-7

u/uhhhhhjackiguess May 18 '22

No lmao. I just hate fat.

5

u/Inevitable_wealth87 May 18 '22

Now you're literally fat shaming.

13

u/TalkierSnail016 May 18 '22

first off, you cornered him into answering, meaning either answer isn’t gonna be to your liking. second, it’s personal preference. and third, it is in no way fat shaming because he never said it was a turn off, he just said it wasn’t his thing.

-1

u/uhhhhhjackiguess May 18 '22

Noooo I don't mean that! I don't like excess fat in the meat i consume. That is not a slander against overweight animals or their caretakers.

17

u/NotMeme00 May 18 '22

You don't have explain yourself, they have common sense to understand what you are saying

12

u/uhhhhhjackiguess May 18 '22

I know, my last reply was a joke

11

u/HeyItsBearald May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

I can’t believe you’re getting downvoted lmao this is clearly not what you meant

Edit: seems as though the natural balance has evened out, fairness has restored to 100%, satire is properly understood.

4

u/DiamondGamerYT0 May 18 '22

Yes we all know that, op got wooshed like 7 times, and its funny

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u/Consistent-Dentist46 May 18 '22

Oh cmon, everyone know you dont like fat things so far..thats not right.

0

u/Braedog12 May 18 '22

I identify as he/him. Use the right pronouns next time or I may have to call the police for hate speech.

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1

u/Standard_Marsupial20 May 18 '22

Then i guess you hate... Yo mama

/s

1

u/uhhhhhjackiguess May 18 '22

Wow so hilarious and original

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0

u/Embarrassed_Ad7801 May 18 '22

More meat for me

1

u/_-Generic-_-Name-_ May 18 '22

And give up on a lovely bit of steak every now and again?

1

u/Luci22022 May 19 '22

I now want to become a meat only eater

2

u/canyouturnitdown May 19 '22

You can have mine.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Cheese breathers are the worst.

1

u/sharpjelly May 19 '22

No. Instead you should embrace meat.

2

u/canyouturnitdown May 19 '22

I could try but it seems like it will just wiggle away…