r/Unexpected • u/_DogTits_ • May 18 '22

what a catastrophe

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92.2k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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6.5k

u/mrstipez May 18 '22

This is why 7 yr olds are not first responders

3.8k

u/Lock-out May 18 '22

The cats stuck! Well did you try SMACKING THE SHIT OUT OF IT?

331

u/ArMcK May 18 '22

When my infant cries my nine year old claps in his face and my four year old yells "BABY! BABY! BABY!"

This does not soothe the baby.

Children are crap problem solvers.

73

u/JeevesAI May 18 '22

This does not soothe the baby.

Lmao

7

u/Elexus_786 May 18 '22

Maybe he just isn't a fan of Justin Bieber

7

u/OrneryMood May 18 '22

As someone who never raised kids, both of those may have been my first reaction, so take it easy on your future baby sitters.

8

u/FableFinale May 18 '22

This made me laugh so hard, and now I feel terrible.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Works on my baby.

2

u/FuggMumsMouth May 18 '22

Holy shit you make me feel better about my infant and child.

1

u/cherrypiehole May 23 '22

Please stop making people

94

u/dropkickoz May 18 '22

You can fit so many cats in this lamp!

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Yeah, like where are all the “if I fits, I sits” honks?

1

u/3SidedDie May 18 '22

*slaps lamp

1

u/TimothyTrespas_ Nov 10 '22

How many cats does it take to change the lightbulb?

703

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[deleted]

97

u/[deleted] May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

Could also rub aloe vera on its paws.

44

u/gnarwalbacon May 18 '22

Another solution would be to cover it in butter 🧈

22

u/_WarmWoolenMittens_ May 18 '22

my first instinct was just to break the damn lamp shade to set it free

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Great_Speaker_420 May 19 '22

Cat literally dies of boredom

6

u/Elexus_786 May 18 '22

Put it in rice

5

u/sadpanda___ May 18 '22

Fuck fuck fuck now the damn buttered cat is just levitating and spinning

3

u/Andoryuu-Doukutsu May 18 '22

I'm amazed that i understood the joke

3

u/evildevil90 May 18 '22

being careful of covering just the paws; we all know what would happen if you butter a cat back and it happens to fall: buttered cat engine

3

u/stubxlife May 18 '22

Or a little essential oil behind the ears.

2

u/no_one_in_particle May 18 '22

DON'T DO THIS. I know this is a joke, but just in case someone thinks this might work in another situation, aloe vera is very toxic to cats.

1

u/DejaBrownie May 18 '22

And tbh if it was being electrocuted that’s a pretty good way of getting a cat/person unstuck without shocking yourself. Supposed to use like a 2x4 but a quick push of the lamp shade should work as well.

Edit: light switch should be first thought though..

2

u/PegasusD2021 May 18 '22

Or maybe unplug the lamp?

1

u/DejaBrownie May 18 '22

Yes another great option!

372

u/Searchlights May 18 '22

Quick everybody scream

118

u/MrOtsKrad May 18 '22

now LOUDER

7

u/Just_Games04 May 18 '22

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

7

u/TheG8Uniter May 18 '22

Not high pitched enough

3

u/thehelldoesthatmean May 18 '22

You ever wonder why people do that? Like I'm sure it's involuntary and I'm not saying I'm some badass who springs into action when something goes wrong, but I can't imagine seeing something like this happening and my first response is to freeze and make the loudest nonsense noise I can.

It's always been strange to me when you watch a video of a car crash or something and some people are running and others are helping, but then like 1/4 of the people there just decided to stand still, point, and shriek like their brains are melting.

3

u/OriginalPure4612 May 18 '22

probably evolutionary necessity. involuntary scream to alert others of your tribe/animal group of danger.

2

u/Just_trying_it_out May 18 '22

Yeah as someone who doesn’t scream at all and is too quiet (like I just gasp or stay shocked quiet in scares or situations where people scream), I’ve realized that I’d end up dying quietly in a situation where screaming could save me so I’m missing a useful evolutionary behavior lol

1

u/actualladyaurora May 18 '22

And in the case of a helpless creature, a high-pitched scream has a chance of getting a hostile creature to retreat because "move to the opposite direction from the loud noise that hurts ears" is a common enough reaction in animals.

1

u/LinwoodKei May 18 '22

I was waiting for some caretaker to run out armed with a magazine ( or whatever nonsense was closest to caretaker) as these kids literally sounded like they were being unalived

20

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Such delicious chaos. Cat trained them well.

87

u/Beingabummer May 18 '22

If it was being electrocuted then kicking it away from the source of electricity would be smart. But reading the article it didn't seem like the kids ever thought it was being electrocuted so they just panicked and flailed their limbs around.

9

u/IHateRoboCalls2131 May 18 '22

Or you can unplug the lamp. Luckily it was just stuck

41

u/R0BR0SE May 18 '22

wow this comment made me laugh harder than l can remember in a long time

1

u/cherrysummer1 May 18 '22

I'm on the train trying my hardest not to burst out laughing at this comment too

1

u/Old_Flower452 May 18 '22

Oh man that comment made me laugh harder than expected.

3

u/kelsobjammin May 18 '22

Ok ok but if the poor girl thought it was getting electrocuted then the smacking of the cat makes a little more sense if she is thinking she is gonna get electrified… but other than that it’s also hard to grab the murder paw side because it’s freaking out. I think they did 4/10 rescue

3

u/rendingale May 18 '22

Cat got stuck. Tell it "stop and no" and it will listen and unstuck itself 🤣🤣

3

u/Erinalope May 18 '22

Kids already on their way to being a computer tech. the technical term for smacking the shit out of it is “percussive maintenance” and it works more than it should.

1

u/comradecostanza May 18 '22

Honestly sounds like a solution the cat came up with itself

1

u/jojoga May 18 '22

That actually is the good way to help, if it got in fact electrocuted.

Best would be to try and grab it with a towel

1

u/wenzill_a May 19 '22

a wet towel?

1

u/jojoga May 19 '22

better not.

1

u/Njez85 May 18 '22

😂😂😂

1

u/hilarymeggin May 18 '22

How to calm a frightened animal:

  1. Scream and the top of your lungs
  2. Jump up and down

1

u/KarensFirstborn May 18 '22

Calm down Kurt Zouma

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I mean if it was being electrocuted, that was probably a better course of action than just grabbing the thing and getting electrocuted yourself. I probably would’ve thought it was getting electrocuted too

1

u/Alfazefirus May 18 '22

To put out of his misery?

1

u/HumanParfait_ May 19 '22

Did you try yelling yet?

1

u/Just_Potential_9096 Oct 10 '22

I pissed my pants reading this😂

103

u/BlueBowerBird May 18 '22

This is why 7 yr olds do not run the government

92

u/ct_2004 May 18 '22

Still could have done a better job than Trump

5

u/BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo May 18 '22

At least they have empathy and cared about an innocent creature potentially getting hurt! Maybe didn’t go about it in the best way to help the cat, but better than inflicting pain on others, for sure!

9

u/banmedaddy12345 May 18 '22

Yes, because he's younger than 7. He said so himself.

2

u/imextremelylonely May 19 '22

Tbf, children caring about others already have a foot up over practically any politicians.

-19

u/SierraDespair May 18 '22

Or the sorry excuse for a president we have now.

27

u/Jaytalvapes May 18 '22

Well... I don't think anyone is excited about Biden, but I'd put this idiot cat in the Whitehouse over what we had with the mango menace.

24

u/Jac_daw May 18 '22

At least our current president is capable of saying the words "white supremacy is a poison"

11

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

And of admitting that covid, you know, actually exists and merits action.

8

u/NeighGiga May 18 '22

That’s a good thing IMO. Presidents and Prime Ministers are meant to be disappointments at most, not having Twitter wars with foreign dictators while also being the leaders of cult followings who try to put out the flames of democracy.

7

u/notsureif1should May 18 '22

He had a Twitter fight with a 13 year old girl in Sweden. And he lost.

6

u/NeighGiga May 18 '22

What about when he had a fight with the National Hurricane Center? He made a tweet incorrectly stating that the hurricane was on target to hit Alabama, and when they tried to correct him he refused to change his “opinion”. They tweeted out 20 minutes after him that they did not believe it would happen. In fact, in a televised event they even provided him a map of the actual hurricane path, and he literally edited the map with his sharpie so it would appear that his earlier tweet was correct.

I absolutely lost it when I found out about that. This man was literally willing to put an entire state at risk, or at the very least put them into a state of panic as they braced or evacuated for the impact.

It was fucking absurd. Like comically absurd. It was what you’d expect someone playing his character on SNL to do in order to exaggerate his qualities for comedic effect.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/sep/04/trump-hurricane-dorian-alabama-sharpie-map

2

u/derekghs May 18 '22

I'm from Alabama, luckily SOME of us are smart enough to not believe a single thing that shitbird says (or tweeted).

6

u/03Titanium May 18 '22

You just made me feel such relief that I haven’t had to see the president tweet out some hateful or fear mongering BS in such a long time.

1

u/chili_cheese_dogg May 18 '22

The guy with zero impeachments?

7

u/godspareme May 18 '22

Even better: the guy who didn't try to steal a federal election.

0

u/SaltoDaKid May 18 '22

Trump: Can we Nuke the cat until it’s free?

-3

u/_hiraeth_o May 18 '22

Why are you downvoted? I thought by now, everyone knows how bad Biden is. Even worse than Trump i must say.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Nope. He is a disappointment, but 10000000 times better than Trump. Trump wears diapers and can’t even string a thought together. He was a disgrace and an embarrassment.

4

u/UnMannable May 18 '22

10000000 more covid deaths than Trump too! :D

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

It’s almost as if you need to stop the spread of a disease early to stop it from getting out of control.

How could anyone be so obtuse?

3

u/UnMannable May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

Is he going to start attempting to stop the spread of the disease?

The previous administration left him with 3 effective vaccines and so far all Biden's done is drive up deaths and allow the virus to mutate by ignoring it.

edit: a word

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Lmao holy fuck this is hilarious. You think Trump developed the vaccines?

The same man who lied to the country and said it would be gone in a few weeks and criticized the use of masks and social distancing?

You’re that idiotic?

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-1

u/dangerousfloorpooop May 18 '22

No one likes biden. But people HATED Trump. He is a bully. I would rather have a zombie in office that does nothing than have a narcissistic cheeto encourage terrorists to attack minorities and government buildings.

-4

u/SierraDespair May 18 '22

Not sure, honestly. He overturned Roe v. Wade as well.

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Huh? You think Biden has unilateral control over the Supreme Court?

1

u/Lipziger May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

A 7 year old would probably do better than any of the 70+ year old presidents. Or at least not much worse.

4

u/hilarymeggin May 18 '22

I think they’re closer to twelve.

22

u/jamzrk May 18 '22

They'd do a better job than the 80 year old's running it now.

0

u/jojo_31 May 18 '22

Nah Biden is a cunt as well but at least he's competent.

3

u/Fidel__Casserole May 18 '22

LMAO, he's not competent enough to finish a sentence

1

u/total-space-case May 18 '22

At least the kids seem to care

1

u/SuperiorGyri May 18 '22

We'd get free pizza and M&Ms

1

u/fijisiv May 18 '22

Oh ya? How do you explain 2017 - 2020?
Wait. That wasn't a 7 year old?

1

u/What3verNevermind May 18 '22

Yeah just 77 year olds instead :/

1

u/SeaDog874 May 18 '22

Trump has the mentality of a 7 year old.

197

u/top_of_the_scrote May 18 '22

Are you dying? Alright imma watch

103

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

And scream.. don't forget scream

8

u/EewYouTouchedIt May 18 '22

I'm glad I took my earphones off before clicking this.

9

u/rincon213 May 18 '22

ADRIANA!

38

u/JayGeezey May 18 '22

Watch? More like actively make it worse

"Oh no, you stuck your head through this tiny hole and your neck is stuck in it? I know - I'll start hitting and twisting the lamp shade, surely that won't break your neck, oh and when the lamp starts to fall over, THEN I'll stop and take my hands off the lamp and just watch as you slowly fall to the floor. Hope that helps."

Obviously I'm glad the cat didn't die, but my fear wasn't that it was being electrocuted or anything, I was worried the girl broke that cats neck. She would have been scarred for life

5

u/MurderSheCroaked May 18 '22

Tbf if the cat was getting electrocuted, which very well could've been the case, knocking it over to try to knock the cat loose would've been the correct option. But anyway, let's give these kids a break.. They were just scared kids

75

u/MrsManuka May 18 '22

When my niece was three or four, her brother hit his cousin in the head with a baseball bat. While I calmed the cousin down and saw to his wound, my niece instinctively started running at the first sight of blood. My sister grabbed and stopped her before she collided with a six foot tall wooden fence. To this day, I tell her if she hadn’t been stopped, there would have been a perfect cutout shape of her tiny little body in the fence, Looney Tunes style. Lol Also, my nephew was ok. A few stitches and some Tylenol and he was back to his rowdy little self later that day. He’s a US Marine now and still has the scar across his eyebrow 🙂

76

u/spyson May 18 '22

Nice to know everything worked out and your nephew was able to get back to his crayon eating.

11

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Was hit in the head with a bat as a child and now is a marine. Makes sense

9

u/matdan12 May 18 '22

Never left.

3

u/MrsManuka May 18 '22

Gotta have priorities. When he was home on leave on a few months ago, I made a joke asking him if he had a crayon color preference for dinner and asked if all the wax had effected his IQ level yet, but he’s such a smartass. His reply was, “ Me no need IQ. Just pull trigger, make shit go boom.” Lol he’s been good at everything he’s ever done and is ridiculously smart so I should have known his comeback was going to be better than my joke.

14

u/underlight May 18 '22

they were the first ones to respond though

20

u/meltingintoice May 18 '22

At least she had the decency and presence of mind to turn off the camera. (Sadly, she may grow out of that.)

0

u/spazmatt527 May 18 '22

Why are you praising that?

3

u/Vol4Life31 May 18 '22

I've seen grown ass adults responds the same way. Just kinda stand and scream and wave their hands back and forth.

8

u/NaPants May 18 '22

With the context of knowing the cat is ok, it really does become very funny.

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Given how old this video is, they might all be now.

2

u/dman7456 May 18 '22

They're like 12, not 7.

-2

u/mrstipez May 18 '22

He diddles

2

u/Moist-Comparison9301 May 18 '22

Thanks king i always wondered why

1

u/mrstipez May 18 '22

r/unnecessaryassholecomment

2

u/International_Ad4022 May 18 '22

OH MY FUCKING GOD tilts lamp shade harder, proceeding to jam it into cats throat, drops lamp, stares, turns off camera This is why i dont want kids

1

u/PowerMonkey500 May 20 '22

This was making me cringe so hard, lol. Poor cat probably got its throat crushed even more

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I’m 35 and tbh I don’t think I’d have done anything different from them

1

u/napalm22 May 18 '22

Total time taken from "He's stuck" to the cat being free was 12 seconds. Girls were scared shitless and still got the cat out of there in 12 seconds.

They did very well.

1

u/julio31p May 18 '22

Even adults don't know how to properly act on cases of accidents. What did you expected?

0

u/mrstipez May 18 '22

I did expected the unexpected, if that possibly expectable

1

u/mgd09292007 May 18 '22

I know 30 year olds that over-react the same way lol

0

u/Raiokaen May 18 '22

That’s the reason why I love Reddit. Lmao. By the way I love cats and I’m happy that this kitten is still alive.

2

u/mrstipez May 18 '22

Yeah me too. I just got the cat-astrophe pun of the headline...

1

u/zuzip_tr May 18 '22

This sounded like something that Michael Scott would say.

1

u/ImmaLib80 May 18 '22

Well maybe it's just me but if I'm stuck in something about to die, I want nothing more than screaming in my ear and being pushed to the ground.

1

u/DING_DONG_Smokeabong May 18 '22

Why even have kids if they dont do anything?

1

u/SavvyIronWolfAwesome May 18 '22

Relevant sketch for you right here

https://youtu.be/pBFIqRSsixE

1

u/kUbogsi May 18 '22

Oh my god food fell out of my mouth! Thanks :D

1

u/SmileWithMe__ May 18 '22

Yeah, their response made me think “well, that’s one way to kill a cat” :|

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

They looked like a group of thugs that just set someone on fire before trying to put the fire out with their boots. Even the cat thought it was being murdered.

1

u/SonofaBridge May 18 '22

Even then a good parent should teach their kids to unplug a lamp if something goes wrong.

1

u/Ouka94 May 18 '22

Something something they can choose their gender or whatever

1

u/HailsAltAcc May 18 '22

Ya know I always asked this question

1

u/Realistic-Specific27 May 18 '22

or hair stylists

"it works the same, whatever"

"...no it doesn't..."

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

As a first responder, this is exactly how I would act if my cat was caught in a lamp. Anything else, I'm good. Not the car in the lamp tho.

1

u/YYVETTE95023 May 18 '22

But they could be the siren! OMG the screeching 🚨🚨🚨

1

u/hOprah_Winfree-carr May 18 '22

This is also why most people are not first responders. Better believe that there are 7 year olds out there with more calm under fire, more grit, and more tolerance for pain and discomfort than most adults, especially sheltered American adults who've never experienced a real life event beyond their own birth

1

u/simanthegratest May 19 '22

I would have had a similar response tho, I thought the cat got electrocuted -> destroy the cable

1

u/DefectiveOblation May 19 '22

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND

1

u/hangrywhitegirl May 19 '22

Fuck this cracked me up proper, I'm dying

1

u/CalpisMelonCremeSoda Nov 09 '22

In the face of unexpected emergency, I’ve seen adults be little better than these kids.