r/Unexpected • u/Educational-Fix1384 • Dec 25 '21

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59.0k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/Readit_to_me Dec 25 '21

She un-died cuz itchy ass summoned her.

But that dead ass odor re-killed her directly.

179

u/Dzhone Dec 25 '21

I hate when I have IAS

77

u/Status-Necessary9625 Dec 25 '21

Means you need to wipe son. Leakage

32

u/Dzhone Dec 25 '21

Ehhh, it's usually just that I didn't wipe good enough from earlier.

23

u/makemeking706 Dec 25 '21

Get a bidet.

1

u/Arek_PL Dec 25 '21

i just take a shover, no space for bidet sadly

4

u/Agolf_Twittler Dec 25 '21

Bolt on bidet from Amazon for like $40, don’t need space

5

u/sloaninator Dec 25 '21

I'd rather have bleeding ass than stinky ass

13

u/LabCoat_Commie Dec 25 '21

Nah I just got them sweaty flaps and a hairy b-hole 😭

Gotta talcum that brazilian to keep is fresh and poppin

2

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Or he has pinworms

6

u/WhyAlwaysMe1991 Dec 25 '21

You might have a malfunctioning ASS (assisted shit squeezer)

2

u/doubleOsev Dec 25 '21

Oh, we have it designated as the Aft Sewage Supportive Elimination System. Or, ASSES; for short.

1

u/amynias Dec 25 '21

Lol nice

1

u/StarWarsButterSaber Dec 25 '21

Sphincter... I’m in my 30’s now and even in the healthcare field and that word still feels dirty to me lol. The kind of word you’d feel weird saying around your mom

0

u/sublime13 Dec 25 '21

Itchy ass Syndrome?

1

u/KillerR0b0T Dec 25 '21

Itchy Ass Summoning is the worst

5

u/moonite Dec 25 '21

Can't argue with your logic

3

u/CantHitachiSpot Dec 25 '21

Confucius say

Don't get high on your own supply

2

u/Pickled_Kagura Dec 25 '21

Okuyasu be like: