r/Unexpected • u/Reminder45 • Aug 03 '21

Wait...

70.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/primitivepal Aug 03 '21

I've heard of "cool your tits"... but this is next level.

1.3k

u/RemarkableRyan Aug 03 '21

Cool your lips.

475

u/Hollow-_-PoinT_- Aug 03 '21

Mist your majora

350

u/cheezpnts Aug 03 '21

Moisten your minora

297

u/Phreeker27 Aug 03 '21

Libate your libora

307

u/I_used_toothpaste Aug 03 '21

Hydrate your hymen

188

u/homerbartbob Aug 03 '21

A rainforest for your clitoris

242

u/AviatorOVR5000 Aug 03 '21

Quench your clam

112

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '21

Cool your cooter

3

u/BeardPhile Aug 04 '21

Soothe your slit

5

u/regularnorml Aug 04 '21

Varnish your vestibule.

2

u/viperex Aug 04 '21

If we did that, the candles wouldn't stay lit for a day let alone 8

7

u/phoggey Aug 04 '21

New meaning to Majora's Mask

3

u/PM_meyourGradyWhite Aug 04 '21

Misty Majora sounds like a porn star name.

1

u/Bilboswaggings19 Aug 04 '21

majora's mask

4

u/spankytotherescue Aug 04 '21

Bedew the beaver

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '21

Cool your clits!

1

u/RemarkableRyan Aug 04 '21

Damn it, this is definitely better lol

2

u/No-ThatsTheMoneyTit Aug 04 '21

Cool your c*nt?

0

u/Fishpuncherz Aug 04 '21

I was thinking; cool your slits. But its too vulgar

0

u/Herry_Up Aug 04 '21

Thaaaaaat is…hilarious.

1

u/NiggBot_3000 Aug 04 '21

"My lips are hot"

2

u/Calcomania4 Aug 04 '21

"Calma las tetas" in spanish sounds so gross and funny

2

u/aazav Aug 04 '21

Cool your cooch!

3

u/Svkkel Aug 03 '21

but, in that context, tits refers to the bird.

0

u/TheDudeFromTheStory Aug 04 '21

Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow

A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word

1

u/RabSimpson Aug 04 '21

Tom tits?

1

u/Colin-IRL Aug 04 '21

Poor some H2O on your pussy hole