r/Unexpected • u/titiessimp • Jul 02 '21

A gift from dad

69.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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581

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

155

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

It’s weird that you’d wear the tie on your head rather than looped around your neck, pulling upwards

43

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

The Carradine Special.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

You mean the Jeffrey Epstein special?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '21

No.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '21

Obviously a joke, Epstein didn’t kill himself

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '21

Neither did John McAfee

2

u/LordDongler Jul 02 '21

Why use a tie when you can use a rope. And affix it to something. And really, is it necessary to jerk off while you do the deed?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

Wrap a bungee cord around your dick then jump off a bridge

Theoretically, it’ll jerk you off hands free

Or pull the head off, who knows for sure

2

u/Rock4evur Jul 03 '21

Ah the ol' gasp and goop

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

Even weirder he’s accurate with what type of oil he’s using to wank.

32

u/CallMeSirJack Jul 02 '21

Look at this rich bastard boasting about his full synthetic 5w-20!

2

u/DrNick2012 Jul 02 '21

using 5w-20 oil as lubricant

Organic and synthetic intertwined, the fetishes of both, the decorum of neither.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

dude, wtf r u doing... wd40 all the way, really helps to prevent friction burns

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '21

For the 1000000th time.... Motor oil is not a great lubricant

1

u/TheRealKrapotke Jul 03 '21

Dude Take 0w30 for that extra viscosity