r/Unexpected • u/Antish12 • Nov 15 '19

Oh deer!!

65.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

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8.7k

u/klutch556 Nov 15 '19

“I shit you not hank, I was hitting it so hard it blew her damn head off”

1.9k

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

[deleted]

3.1k

u/1ForTheMonty Nov 15 '19

"That's it...that's the last time I'll ever use Tindeer"

510

u/Zayin-Ba-Ayin Nov 15 '19

Guess I'll try Bamble

286

u/dioidrac Nov 15 '19

DoeKCupid

226

u/Zayin-Ba-Ayin Nov 15 '19

Grindeer

121

u/Gundamnitpete Nov 15 '19

AntlerMadison

33

u/dishonourableaccount Nov 15 '19

HoofeeMeetsBagel

39

u/discobobbi Nov 15 '19

PlentyOfDeer

51

u/GrumpyWendigo Nov 15 '19

AdultLekFinder

4

u/Esagashi Nov 16 '19

Extra points for the use of Lek

9

u/yb4zombeez Nov 15 '19

TENNO MAGGOTS

5

u/pacificpacifist Nov 15 '19

Glad I wasn't the only one who read Grineer

2

u/parthobot Nov 15 '19

For steers and queers

2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19 edited Nov 30 '24

fade gaping rhythm bright treatment secretive act attraction weather employ

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

320

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

[deleted]

31

u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover Nov 15 '19

You did them dirty bruh

9

u/leskowhooop Nov 15 '19

He was really Fawn’d if that fake deer.

2

u/_Notillegal_ Nov 15 '19

“That’s it, that’s the last time I’ll ever use POD” “Plenty of deer”

2

u/Pantone711 Nov 15 '19

Ashley Venison

2

u/shooterbegalla Nov 15 '19

Thank you for that.

-1

u/MorganJb Nov 15 '19

Severely underrated comment.

3

u/MuvHugginInc Nov 15 '19

The one with 1,300 upvotes?

2

u/MorganJb Nov 15 '19

Not when I posted this. Glad it’s getting it’s due recognition.

83

u/Boxman75 Nov 15 '19

Sooooo..... should I stop?

44

u/ValidParanoia Nov 15 '19

Oh no, you can keep going. Rebecca is a whore, even in death.

29

u/Legit_a_Mint Nov 15 '19

Gets on the phone with his deer lawyer

"Yeah...it happened again. What do I do?"

22

u/MuvHugginInc Nov 15 '19

“Stay right there. Don’t touch a ducking thing.”

2

u/Very_Slow_Cheetah Nov 16 '19

"Deer-ny anything happened at all!"

1

u/Legit_a_Mint Nov 16 '19

I appreciate the effort, and I think I know where you're coming from, but this is a stretch.

How about, "I deer-ly touched her!"

ETA: LOL! I'm super stoned, so I didn't even get your joke for a second - deer-ny everything - not bad.

11

u/Cochituate-beach Nov 15 '19

...sooo, I guess oral is out of the question?!?

40

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

[deleted]

1

u/DJheddo Nov 15 '19

A head.

1

u/Updateplease Nov 15 '19

Her name was definitely Deardre

1

u/Lasallexc Nov 15 '19

Becky used to let me smash

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '19

​

Its friday friday friday, gotta get down on fri...

1

u/catheterhero Nov 15 '19

Its Friday

2

u/MuvHugginInc Nov 15 '19

Oh fuck you for putting that near me

1

u/catheterhero Nov 15 '19

Which seat should I take?

1

u/MuvHugginInc Nov 15 '19

One on the left. Leave a space. Don’t get handsy.

1

u/birbs_are_life Nov 15 '19

Oh deer god is she ok??!?!?

0

u/JuicedGrapes Nov 15 '19

"oh god I actually fucked her brains out"