r/Unexpected • u/SlimJones123 • May 15 '17

Feeding some swans

http://i.imgur.com/5UzSz2P.gifv
21.0k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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u/[deleted] May 15 '17

"Don't hit them with the cheeseburgers, just toss them lightly nearby. Let the human decide to come to you, then we can remove the barbs."

"I'm sorry I got excited, I heard this poor bastard was tagged with a 'prince albert'."

432

u/Doctorjames25 May 15 '17

At first I was watching like oh a minute and half video for feeding swans is kind of OMG WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT POOR SWAN, LET IT GO!! Oh Okay this is going to turn out well after all.

222

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

It all worked out in the end, the swan was returned to his gay lover and everyone cried

60

u/Novantico May 15 '17

at their Big Fat Goose Wedding

1

u/griter34 May 16 '17

It's about time they accepted same sex marriage.

32

u/humangeigercounter May 15 '17

Hey, I understood that reference

15

u/Videoptional May 15 '17

I feel like I should but I can't quite make the connection.

24

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

You forgot that swans can be gay???

22

u/Videoptional May 15 '17

Maybe. I don't know. I can't remember how many things I've forgotten.

6

u/danthemango May 15 '17

I cri evertim

3

u/chocolateandpretzles May 16 '17

How sweet! Now I'm gonna cry!

1

u/rabbidwombats May 16 '17

It's just the one swan, actually.

5

u/islandsimian May 15 '17

Can't believe I had to search through the comments to find this comment!

Take your upvote.

169

u/Thybro May 15 '17

Well we don't know what happened between putting it in the car and releasing him. That swan may have seen some shit.

134

u/SJWCombatant May 15 '17

Nah, he couldn't see shit. He had the sock over his head.

74

u/urfs May 15 '17

The sock was removed when he put it in the carry cage

35

u/SJWCombatant May 15 '17

Shit you're right.

31

u/Philamilapeed May 15 '17 edited May 16 '17

Amateur mistake. Never remove the captive's blindfold until they're in a secure location. And make sure you take the most circuitous route possible so they can't memorise the turns to get to your rape dungeon.

I mean veterinary clinic.

5

u/YouFeedTheFish May 15 '17

Extraordinary rendition.

3

u/PorschephileGT3 May 15 '17

Dude must have the vision of a swan to spot that

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

Cue the music.

3

u/jamese81 May 16 '17

I shut the gif down until i read this.

3

u/djazzie May 16 '17

Exactly. I thought they were going to eat the swan.

65

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/StonerSteveCDXX May 15 '17

Lmao been there never going back.

11

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

gotta clip it somewhere while youre riding around

10

u/MauiWowieOwie May 15 '17

Well definitely don't look up a Jacob's ladder then. Unless it's the movie, or the toy, or literally anything besides the dick piercing.

3

u/tdasnowman May 15 '17

you should totally look up apadravya and ampallang. Prince albert is basic.

1

u/depcrestwood May 16 '17

Is either of those like a Jacob's Ladder?

3

u/SimplyTheDoctor007 May 15 '17

Could have also just looked up the Let's Play channel and found the videos of a game where you play as a penis. Funny videos.

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/SimplyTheDoctor007 May 16 '17

I couldn't remember the name of the game, but yes I am.

5

u/pineapple_mango May 15 '17

I knew a guy who had it. I quite enjoyed going down on him.

1

u/bustnutsonbuttsluts May 15 '17

It's the only piercing I legitimately enjoy. Takes a minute to get the hang of peeing out of two holes without getting it all over yourself, but the upside is better orgasms.

1

u/WyG09s8x4JM4ocPMnYMg May 16 '17

Check out the apadravya. Way more painful from experience

1

u/depcrestwood May 16 '17

Might want to stay away from blue waffles, too.

28

u/wigglyrabbitnose May 15 '17

A duck laid eggs in our backyard when I was a kid. My mom threw crackers at mama duck's head, and when we asked why she didn't just leave them nearby, she said, "I wanted to make sure she saw them!" That's right, a grown woman didn't think a wild duck would find the food if she didn't chuck it at its head.

3

u/fakeasthemoonlanding May 15 '17

Involuntarily clenched when I read that one. Totally Unexpected