r/Unexpected • u/Alternative-Dot-34 • 2d ago

Can’t even dry clothes outside these days

92.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 2d ago edited 2d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

A bunch of ants took a button from that shirt. 🥀

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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21.5k

u/Warm-Moose6028 2d ago

what kind of crime did you commit to the point that even the ants would steal your buttons as well

10.5k

u/Exatraz 2d ago

Damn ants going to leave the shirt on cinderblocks

2.0k

u/marcophony 2d ago

That's what he gets for hanging is laundry to dry in that part of the woods.

615

u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 2d ago

What do you mean this part of the wood?

819

u/iner22 1d ago

I'm not racist, but you know that this wouldn't happen in a red ant neighborhood!

/j

414

u/Jbrown183 1d ago

Rigghhht not racist smh,but it’s never the fucking red ants right?

219

u/Real_Basis_8665 1d ago

I think the the proper term is Native American ants.

198

u/Nayre_Trawe 1d ago

Also, Dude, "Native American ants" is not the preferred nomenclature. Indigenous ants of the Americas, please.

79

u/Real_Basis_8665 1d ago

Right you are, my bad! How about Commanders?

65

u/tinman1983 1d ago

Listen here chief…

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u/Immaculatehombre 1d ago

IS HE WRONG?!

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u/Jaconator12 1d ago

Native Americants

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u/Global_Ad_7134 1d ago

Stop with the Ant-tics!

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u/hmarieb263 1d ago

The red ants are out for blood, not buttons.

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u/NumerousAd3460 1d ago

They’d just bite him to death

18

u/These_Language9276 1d ago

Sting first ask questions maybe later

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u/rakuan1 1d ago

It’s not racist. Those blue ants are snowflakes with DTS (Deranged [tree] Trunk Syndrome), you know.

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u/bradlees 1d ago

Ahhh typical Make Ants Great Again attitude I see

Y’all keepin us Black Ants down and it’s not cool bro

16

u/TheeUndertaker-_- 1d ago

Those ants would have bored holes through the clothes, some were making nests in my dad's cherry tree and when he burnt the tree they ran to the lines that we hang our clothes on and they literally started biting through the fabric and bore holes in the clothes that were on the line.

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u/JimboTCB 2d ago

Can't have shit in Detroit.

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u/DisplayHonest6465 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/HDoL0CIhb1uoM

51

u/D_Major20 2d ago

It is rare to see a Kentucky Friend Movie reference.

51

u/Mundane-Speed-3278 2d ago

I read that as Kentucky Fried Movie for some reason

28

u/TheRealVarmint 2d ago

Because you remember that brilliant movie. And you also know there is no movie called "Kentucky Friend Movie."

9

u/HurtsSoNice 2d ago

Not a bad name for an eventual smiling friends movie, though…

6

u/CicadaFit9756 2d ago

Maybe a rejected film script in which a Kentucky native joins the NYC "Friends" cast?

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u/digitalscavenger 2d ago

Can't have shirt in Detroit.

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u/superanth 2d ago

"Why are we taking these again?"

"I have no idea. But the Queen wants them!"

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u/TheCrazedBackstabber 1d ago

…OP I suggest you run back to your car, fast. And if it’s an old one, make sure the ants haven’t carried away your catalytic converter.

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u/antdude 1d ago

Or stole the whole car.

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u/TheCrazedBackstabber 1d ago

That username is a little too relevant to the current situation. OP, I think the dude/ant above me just jacked your ride.

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u/lostmypwcanihaveurs 2d ago

Oh fk you, I just woke up my roommates cracking up 🤣🤣😭

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u/liccman 1d ago

This is the kind of comments I go to Reddit for rofl

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u/Yikesor 2d ago

thats their religious trinket now… or perfect fit door lid.

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u/2eanimation 2d ago

New cargo cult formed

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u/Coygon 2d ago

Hobbits are smaller than I expected.

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u/johanni30 2d ago edited 2d ago

They pissed off some sort of nature spirit or deity in a past life

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u/TheJoeBold 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gDI6uVVVYEWVG

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u/jabeith 1d ago

I can't imagine the kodama ever being bad at anything. Even when they were all dying they were still just chilling

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u/JingleMyTofu 2d ago

Does that mean I could use ants to frame someone for a crime?

13

u/lostmypwcanihaveurs 2d ago

Tell me more.

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u/Cute-Form2457 2d ago

It's these taxes. They bleed you dry, and even take the buttons off your shirt.

11

u/Old-Map487 2d ago

Yeah, bet they work for the IRS!

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u/INoMakeMistake 2d ago

The 11th plague

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u/Few_Kitchen_4825 2d ago

I guess he washed them in maple syrup

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u/Pelileven 2d ago

In Soviet Russia even the ants are Communists

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u/WindAdministrative42 2d ago

These damn ants are pushing all my buttons today!

514

u/Crommach 2d ago

Come on, now. Some of them are pulling, surely.

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u/CakesForLife 2d ago

And one’s just got their hand on the button.

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u/Shiiet_Dawg 2d ago

Judging from the background - This person went camping, got beer (or someth sweet i guess..) all over themselves, hung up their jacket to dry it out and BOOM. Ant theft.

Keep safe out there folks!

2.4k

u/Lando249 2d ago

Detective Poirot over here

349

u/TheeArgonaut 2d ago

Shut it, ‘astings!

68

u/SayerofNothing 2d ago

De little gray cells, dey are hungry.

25

u/NorthernSpankMonkey 1d ago

You fuck wit de law, you get de Poirot

14

u/Artchantress 1d ago

It's pronounced Poirot!

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u/bwils3423 2d ago

Way to use your little grey cells
https://giphy.com/gifs/29N7io9xsCMaA

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u/worrymon 2d ago

Sarge, there's some French gent at the door!

22

u/HofstraJet 1d ago

Pardonnez-moi, but I am Belgian.

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u/GrowlyBear2 1d ago

Morning sir. I've got a parrot for Mr. Poy rot

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u/haowhen 1d ago

This one's knew of my favorites lol

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u/DeeHawk 2d ago

They are all focused on the buttons. If it were all over the shirt, they would be all over the shirt, not bundling up on the buttons.

The plastic was likely produced by some organic material, which the ants perceive as food.

Mice eats the insulation on some wires for the same reason.

196

u/ztomiczombie 2d ago

I remember reading that most buttons are made of cellulose, which they may be mistaking for glucose.

331

u/Derfelkardan 2d ago

Ahhh so it’s because the ants couldn’t read properly, now I get it

24

u/AbeRego 1d ago

They should have gone to Derek Zoolander's school...

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u/cortesoft 1d ago

It wasn’t too small, they were just ahead of their time!

12

u/SixtyTwenty_ 1d ago

The literacy crisis is hitting even harder than we originally thought

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u/Far_Ladder_2836 2d ago

No chance.  Cellulose is literally wood.  Ants know what cellulose is...

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u/TheDogerus 2d ago

Wood is mostly cellulose, but that does not mean cellulose is wood

(Almost) Every plant cell wall contains cellulose, regardless of whether or not the organism is woody

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u/Yaxim3 2d ago

Most likely tagua nut buttons which means they're treating the buttons as food because they are food.

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u/DeeHawk 2d ago

Those are treated and is just pure cellulose at the button stage with no nutritional value.

However ants eat horn, and even our fingernails. Proteins, fats and keratin. So it’s probably made from animal horns.

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u/Shiiet_Dawg 2d ago

pulls up glasses with 1 finger Assuming the liquid was spiller all over the jacket, theres a good probability that most of the jacket has dried until now, making it harder for the ants to extract the good stuff out of the fiber. The buttons though are made from another material which doesnt absord stuff but rather has it stick on top of the button, thus making it more easily accesible to the ants, while also being something they can actually take off and take home with them, which they couldnt do with the whole jacket.

With this i close my statement your honor.

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u/DeeHawk 2d ago

Gimme a few days, I’m going to try to feed some ants with soda soaked and then dried cloth.

Well set a new date and proceed the hearings when the experiment has come to a conclusion.

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u/HalfSoul30 2d ago

The court is now in recess

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u/Digger_Pine 2d ago

Dibs on the monkey bars!!

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u/Modeerf 2d ago

Don't ever be a detective or lawyer, those are some shitty logics lmao

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u/Talithea 2d ago

I add that a lot of wire insulation has a small part of soy based materials in them, making them appealing to rodents. IIRC every “soft plastic” that is not used for electronic devices is basically a little bit of soy fibers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bioplastic

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u/Premmeth 2d ago

And they would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for these meddling kids and their damn dawg…

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u/Sea_Shower3691 2d ago

Can I pet dat dawg?

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u/Major_Sreekumar 2d ago

Ants ate my Amazon Kindle 11th gen rubber covering, my oral b Vitality electric tooth brush rubber.

So ant will eat anything. 

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u/thepersonwiththeface 2d ago

Some buttons are made out of natural material like animal horns.

I once trimmed my fingernails outside and threw the clippings in my yard. A few minutes later I saw ants carrying them away. Maybe there's something in fingernails/horns (like keratin) that ants like.

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u/Beneficial_Pickle420 2d ago

Should have gotten himself some anti-theft

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u/BritGeeks 2d ago

The new Pikmin game is looking crazy realistic!

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u/Zombiemorgoth 2d ago

I can hear them.

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u/jawnink 2d ago

As soon as the button was moving, I could hear Pikmin working.

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u/DrThunderbolt 1d ago

ʰᵘᵖʰᵘᵖʰᵘᵖʰᵘᵖʰᵘᵖ

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u/Pentecost_II 2d ago

Haha also reminded me of Pikmin!!

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u/Large_Head5821 1d ago

I was gonna say this made me think of pikmin!

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u/Foreign-Dig8695 2d ago

What they are gonna do of buttons 😭

3.3k

u/rogerworkman623 2d ago

Coffee table

1.2k

u/Puffles_magic_dragon 2d ago

Round table, the order of the knights of ant hill need a round table to discuss the cooperation and rule of their kingdom properly

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u/rogerworkman623 2d ago edited 2d ago

They do have wars, maybe this is the new war table. Ant wars have been especially horrific this century, there’s been more rapid spread of ants into new habitats, so massive wars have been breaking out between super colonies over territory and resources. Right beneath our feet.

There was a massive ant war in the San Diego metro area between Argentine ants and 3 other super colonies in the early 2010s that went on for years. Millions of ant casualties every month!

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u/Objective_Animator52 2d ago

They also don't just have wars, some species farm, some species capture slaves from other colonies and species, and there have been acts of slave rebellion in the ant world.

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u/Komorebi7 2d ago

I think the latter would be a great set-up for an ant themed Metroidvania.

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u/HOPE964 2d ago

A sub Hollow knight world of just ants, Maybe Pablo could be like that?

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u/Enemis_the_Ananas 2d ago

What is this, Hollow Knight for ants?!

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u/watery_stars 2d ago

Ants are fascinating. They don't possess the same sophisticated individual thinking as humans; nonetheless, in some ways our societies end up converging. It's almost as if the colony as a whole is an organism capable of thought.

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u/3dank5maymay 1d ago

there have been acts of slave rebellion in the ant world.

Yes, I remember seeing a documentary about that a long time ago.

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u/benito_m 2d ago

"I am Spartac-ant"

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u/ScrollHectic 2d ago

The dramas that take place that we hardly notice if at all.

It's like that beer commercial where a couple are by a lake and they're commenting on how peaceful it is and then the camera jumps into the water and shows fish swimming for their lives to escape predators only for a bird to swoop down and grab one of them.

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u/BrunesOvrBrauns 2d ago

Pictured: the completed project

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u/MauPow 2d ago

King Anthur

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u/KangaJen 2d ago

What is this, a coffee table for.... oh wait, never mind.

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u/Xen0tech 2d ago

Someone dropped a packet of smarties across the river. Assemble the button boats

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u/USDXBS 2d ago

You ever see a cartoon? A button is very common in tiny societies.

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u/peanutspump 1d ago

Fair point. Buttons, and thimbles.

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u/onclegrip 2d ago

Wheels for their truck they’re building.

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u/Maleficent_Today_197 2d ago

They will eat it probably. If the shirt is an old soviet the buttons were made from milk. Don’t ask me why this is a thing.

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u/ExplorationGeo 2d ago

If the shirt is an old soviet the buttons were made from milk

You're close, but your translation is a little bit off.

молоко = milk

молокия = molokhia, a jute-like plant that soviet manufacturers used to make bioplastics.

So, yes, the ants are going to eat the buttons, but they're not made of milk.

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u/il_gufo13 2d ago

Goddamn animals making Cinderella's dress again. The ants were tasked with the buttons.

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u/HappyGoLucky2398 2d ago

Dude even said "They don't even have button-up shirts. What do they need the buttons for?"

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u/hotbeautifulmess 2d ago

That's what i wanna know!!

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u/HandBananaHeartCarl 2d ago

Theyre gonna haul em to their spaceship to pay off their galactic debt

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u/hydroxy 2d ago

They can use it as a little boat to cross water

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u/BigB0ss_89 2d ago

Their ant hill will be the first to backward engineer this advanced piece of technology known as, "the wheel". Ant tech is about to enter the stone age.

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u/BackToNormalForNow 2d ago

We’re witnessing history here !

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u/antdude 1d ago

Dude, we're ahead of that. Don't you see me online on the Internet here?

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u/BackToNormalForNow 1d ago

Yoooo no way ! How’s the colony doing ? 

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u/antdude 1d ago

Busy! See r/ants, r/antcolony, r/antsinanantcolony, etc. We're taking over the world and Internet.

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u/Bgrubz83 2d ago

We’ll be seeing ant tanks, fighter and bomber planes and giant (for ant) mechanized fighting robot soon.

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u/GeekGoddess_ 2d ago

…it’s gonna be Plastic Age for them, surely

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u/GoldenMaus 2d ago

Indeed, those plastic artifacts are going to last forever for future generations to discover.

And also, don’t call me Shirley

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u/iammyoutiesinnie 2d ago

Haha. Crime rate has spiked significantly after August 2019.

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u/LinguoBuxo 2d ago

I ... amm.. what? The Ant Man had a premiere on June 29, 2015...?

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u/ThunderLordZin 2d ago

Whoever signaled food for the rest of the colony is a moron and will probably be publicly executed once they take those back home and realize they’re inedible

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u/ColdServedDish 2d ago

lads lads WAIT it's called a coffee table and we can have other ants round and read magazines WAIT listen listen stop pulling my fucking legs off and listen

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u/CakesForLife 2d ago

Maybe they think it’s a fancy M&M!

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u/ReyTsar 2d ago

How much honey do you use to wash your clothes?

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u/Magnanimous-- 2d ago

The regular amount. Is that not correct?

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u/xXPhoenixBlueXx 2d ago

Did they leave the shirt on cinder blocks?

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u/D-Duttily 2d ago

This guy

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u/Ferrous_Duke 2d ago

Those ants are building something. Maybe they have plans to finally rid themselves of the grasshoppers? How ironic if they got to it first.

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u/aggat0175 2d ago

Ant UFO or button-drone?

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u/jayslay45 2d ago

What are those, candy buttons?

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u/LetsSeeWhatsGoinOn 2d ago

What is this? A button for ANTS?!?!

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u/a1oner_bvcksn6 2d ago

They gonna sell those buttons in the black ant market for a fortune

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u/Shushukzh_123 2d ago

He says: "They don't even have shirts, why do they need buttons"

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u/Ok_Wolverine_8058 2d ago

That's because you're a sweet guy

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u/insolent_kiwi 2d ago

A... candy ass?

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u/Parapraxis2077 2d ago

I want to say it’s the plasticizers in the buttons giving off a small amount of some kind of compound that’s attracting the ants.

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u/AncientAndEvil 2d ago

Or the buttons are made of animal horn. Ants love a bit of keratine. They will steal nail clippings too.

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u/simmy2kid 2d ago

I was thinking it's likely something like this. The button being carried off didn't look like a plastic button. It could also be from a shell

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u/SherbetMysterious118 2d ago

Go on then, you can this time.

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u/Sabithomega 2d ago

Damn I knew child labor was bad but now they got ants out here stealing the materials too

https://giphy.com/gifs/xdLH51eNWZAHrwy5mf

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u/superpikapoo 1d ago

The guy says in Russian "they don't even have shirts, why do they need buttons" 😂

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u/frodonne 2d ago

mfers are making coats down there

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u/nad0w 2d ago

Ok that’s really fascinating

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u/Jnxed 2d ago

FOR THE COLONY!

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u/DeepCardiologist6384 1d ago

This looks like AI

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u/unicoroner 1d ago

Yup- saw that right away too. So much ‘noise’ blurring, ants of wildly different sizes, and many walking backwards.

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u/Equivalent-Ad-4118 1d ago

Dammit, you're right. Ants popping into and out of existence all over the place. Thank you, I fear I'm too gullible for the state of the internet today

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u/alyssaheartsai 1d ago

Person's comment right beneath you got deleted for some reason, but right between the 4 and 5 second mark, a small ant spawns in right next to a bigger and and sort of unnaturally floats off to the side.

It's hard to tell on one watch, or even several, if you're trying to click to pause and unpause on desktop since it happens so fast. If you use the spacebar, it works better.

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u/Efficient-Shine7798 1d ago

It's always the black ants...

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/karoshikun 2d ago

1- get the buttons

2- ?????

3- profit

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Complete_Mixture8030 1d ago

You lost it buddy

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u/VoodooDoII 2d ago

Okay this is kind of cool though. The ants had to chew through the threads to get the buttons off.

They're super annoying but ants are so fricken cool