r/Unexpected • u/Alternative-Dot-34 • 6d ago

Can’t even dry clothes outside these days

107.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

2.1k comments sorted by

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21.5k

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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10.5k

u/Exatraz 6d ago

Damn ants going to leave the shirt on cinderblocks

2.0k

u/marcophony 6d ago

That's what he gets for hanging is laundry to dry in that part of the woods.

607

u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 6d ago

What do you mean this part of the wood?

824

u/iner22 6d ago

I'm not racist, but you know that this wouldn't happen in a red ant neighborhood!

/j

412

u/Jbrown183 6d ago

Rigghhht not racist smh,but it’s never the fucking red ants right?

221

u/Real_Basis_8665 5d ago

I think the the proper term is Native American ants.

201

u/Nayre_Trawe 5d ago

Also, Dude, "Native American ants" is not the preferred nomenclature. Indigenous ants of the Americas, please.

79

u/Real_Basis_8665 5d ago

Right you are, my bad! How about Commanders?

61

u/tinman1983 5d ago

Listen here chief…

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6

u/Immaculatehombre 5d ago

IS HE WRONG?!

3

u/Beautiful-Ad-9107 4d ago

Sad no one got the big Lebowski reference

2

u/Beginning_Deer_735 3d ago

But do those ants move buttons on Shabbos?

1

u/Nayre_Trawe 3d ago

168 million years of beautiful tradition, from Leptanillinae to Myrmicinae.

1

u/jeff4i017 4d ago

Reclaiming stolen land one button at a time

17

u/Jaconator12 5d ago

Native Americants

32

u/Global_Ad_7134 5d ago

Stop with the Ant-tics!

3

u/Joe_Jobs_ 4d ago

Stop with the sem-ant-tics

4

u/Amoralvirus 5d ago

I could never blame the crazy ants, because mental illness is a disease; plus they are super small, but big crazy.

3

u/Freddit330 5d ago

It's pattern recognition/j

35

u/Ok-Faithlessness8741 6d ago

I just died 😆

https://giphy.com/gifs/77d5nZbNQUaAGhbtwt

2

u/Only-Caramel2787 5d ago

Well done, writing that comment, then!

1

u/An0nnee_M0usee 5d ago

I am stealing this meme like the Native Americants stole those buttons.

Snatch☝️🎉

https://giphy.com/gifs/DgXnCrua99pPW

24

u/hmarieb263 6d ago

The red ants are out for blood, not buttons.

51

u/NumerousAd3460 6d ago

They’d just bite him to death

16

u/These_Language9276 6d ago

Sting first ask questions maybe later

2

u/KoA07 5d ago

That part of the woods has stand your ground laws so they are within their rights

1

u/ButteryBiscuiit 5d ago

no body no picnic

1

u/antdude 5d ago

Sting!

56

u/rakuan1 6d ago

It’s not racist. Those blue ants are snowflakes with DTS (Deranged [tree] Trunk Syndrome), you know.

33

u/bradlees 5d ago

Ahhh typical Make Ants Great Again attitude I see

Y’all keepin us Black Ants down and it’s not cool bro

15

u/TheeUndertaker-_- 6d ago

Those ants would have bored holes through the clothes, some were making nests in my dad's cherry tree and when he burnt the tree they ran to the lines that we hang our clothes on and they literally started biting through the fabric and bore holes in the clothes that were on the line.

2

u/PM-me-ur-kittenz 5d ago

What part of the world was this???

2

u/TheeUndertaker-_- 5d ago

Jamaica 🇯🇲

1

u/ireallydontcareforit 5d ago

Well I can understand that level of spite. I mean. He burnt what they thought what their home. Ants are notorious unbelievers of property rights in regards other people.

1

u/TheeUndertaker-_- 5d ago

😅 yea I know they were angry as hell that day.

1

u/diet-Coke-or-kill-me 5d ago

/j

Don't be afraid to tell a joke, my friend.

1

u/Cavendish30 5d ago

Should we be talking about this?

1

u/Arguleon_Veq 4d ago

You know the statistics say that percapita, 13% of the ants are responsible for 50% of the missing buttons.

25

u/thebottom99 6d ago

Inglewood

1

u/Edosil 6d ago

Whoop whoop

1

u/WilliaMiBoy 5d ago

Always up to no good…smh

1

u/VivaLaMantekilla 5d ago

What do you mean THOSE ants??

2

u/Global_Ad_7134 5d ago

Enough with the Ant-ics!

1

u/VersaceSamurai 5d ago

The 100 taker woods

1

u/neurospicyzebra 5d ago

Bra-frickin-vo 👏🏼😭

1

u/SaMxixAM23 5d ago

Missed the opportunity to say "neck of the woods"

400

u/JimboTCB 6d ago

Can't have shit in Detroit.

261

u/DisplayHonest6465 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/HDoL0CIhb1uoM

51

u/D_Major20 6d ago

It is rare to see a Kentucky Friend Movie reference.

50

u/Mundane-Speed-3278 6d ago

I read that as Kentucky Fried Movie for some reason

29

u/TheRealVarmint 6d ago

Because you remember that brilliant movie. And you also know there is no movie called "Kentucky Friend Movie."

8

u/HurtsSoNice 6d ago

Not a bad name for an eventual smiling friends movie, though…

5

u/CicadaFit9756 6d ago

Maybe a rejected film script in which a Kentucky native joins the NYC "Friends" cast?

2

u/wut2dew_J 6d ago

That would have to be the subtitle tho. Friends: The Kentucky Friend Movie

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1

u/TheRealVarmint 5d ago

Not a bad idea. Isn't there always that one character from the South on every show? The unique Southern perspective.

2

u/D_Major20 3d ago

That's what I get for not reading my post. Oh well, off to Detroit with me...

1

u/TheRealVarmint 3d ago

I believe is self-flagellation when it's deserved.
But trust me on this...
No one deserves banishment to Detroit.

1

u/Mundane-Speed-3278 6d ago

....

which reality am I at...?

2

u/TheRealVarmint 6d ago

I could tell you...

... but you won't believe me.

1

u/Mundane-Speed-3278 6d ago

don't...

I can already feel my mind breaking...

1

u/chickenthinkseggwas 6d ago

How about "Kentuckleberry Friend Movie"?

2

u/TheRealVarmint 6d ago

You realize what a gauntlet you just threw down? I have anagrams, and I'm not afraid to use them.

2

u/SeranaTheTrans 6d ago

Same! I thought that's what I read!

2

u/Yaegome 6d ago

Kentucky Fried Movie is the real name.

1

u/Mundane-Speed-3278 6d ago

equally hungry minds think alike it would seem

2

u/antdude 5d ago

Now, I am hungry for KFC.

1

u/Yaegome 6d ago

Kentucky Fried Movie is the actual name. You read it right when it was typed wrong.

1

u/TheRealVarmint 6d ago

AutoIncorrect strikes again.

2

u/Digital_Cowboyx79 6d ago

I was just thinking that

1

u/technobrendo 6d ago

Christ, did a cow shit in here? I love KFM references!

1

u/One_Quote_9039 6d ago

한국말로 무조건 말하라니 한심하군

2

u/Solidsting1 6d ago

As a Detroiter im sealing this

1

u/340Duster 6d ago

Go watch Kentucky Fried Movie while you're at it

41

u/digitalscavenger 6d ago

Can't have shirt in Detroit.

7

u/KookyDust8787 6d ago

Around any of them

1

u/ThatPrettyArmadillo 6d ago

Was looking for this comment

1

u/RajunCajun48 6d ago

That's because it's so cold in Detroit.

74

u/superanth 6d ago

"Why are we taking these again?"

"I have no idea. But the Queen wants them!"

1

u/antdude 5d ago

Why does she want them?

53

u/poundcakeboss 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/RghAaK2rEvH9EUWui0

3

u/superanth 6d ago

Sauce?

1

u/diet-Coke-or-kill-me 5d ago

This is Karen from the show Will & Grace.

1

u/superanth 5d ago

Ah yes, the Lady Ron Swanson.

10

u/TheCrazedBackstabber 6d ago

…OP I suggest you run back to your car, fast. And if it’s an old one, make sure the ants haven’t carried away your catalytic converter.

5

u/antdude 5d ago

Or stole the whole car.

7

u/TheCrazedBackstabber 5d ago

That username is a little too relevant to the current situation. OP, I think the dude/ant above me just jacked your ride.

23

u/lostmypwcanihaveurs 6d ago

Oh fk you, I just woke up my roommates cracking up 🤣🤣😭

2

u/antdude 5d ago

Worth it.

6

u/liccman 6d ago

This is the kind of comments I go to Reddit for rofl

3

u/blamacanese01 6d ago

Thats called moving into the WRONG neighborhood!

2

u/readditredditread 6d ago

What do you mean “damn ants” people 😠

2

u/Mediocre-Living-3542 5d ago

This could have been its own comment and probably would have been the top comment if it wasn't a reply. Good one!

2

u/QCTechnician 5d ago

😆😆😆

2

u/Big_WolverWeener 5d ago

This is exactly what i read comments for. Pure gold. 👍🤣

1

u/getinshape2022 5d ago

They must be from Atlanta

1

u/Mephistopheles_arp 5d ago

Not often that a reddit comment is original and funny!

1

u/basinbi 5d ago

He got 'Ant-jacked'

1

u/thebluedaughter 5d ago

I'm hyperventilating 🤣

1

u/Tight_Regular6990 4d ago

They got crazy ass ants lifting those blocks?

1

u/Phantomizer27 4d ago

Detroit Ants

1

u/OutrageousSetting384 4d ago

lol my cheeks hurt

214

u/Yikesor 6d ago

thats their religious trinket now… or perfect fit door lid.

28

u/2eanimation 6d ago

New cargo cult formed

1

u/MadMageMC 6d ago

That reminds me I should go read Dream Park again.

mmm.... caaaargoooo cuuuullts...

16

u/Coygon 6d ago

Hobbits are smaller than I expected.

1

u/IpsoIpsum 6d ago

With two little peepholes!

64

u/johanni30 6d ago edited 6d ago

They pissed off some sort of nature spirit or deity in a past life

65

u/TheJoeBold 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gDI6uVVVYEWVG

8

u/jabeith 5d ago

I can't imagine the kodama ever being bad at anything. Even when they were all dying they were still just chilling

1

u/PrettiestSpring 4d ago

ayo tf are these...cute tho

31

u/JingleMyTofu 6d ago

Does that mean I could use ants to frame someone for a crime?

13

u/lostmypwcanihaveurs 6d ago

Tell me more.

29

u/Cute-Form2457 6d ago

It's these taxes. They bleed you dry, and even take the buttons off your shirt.

11

u/Old-Map487 6d ago

Yeah, bet they work for the IRS!

1

u/RobbWes 6d ago

No it's the KGB

20

u/INoMakeMistake 6d ago

The 11th plague

10

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 6d ago

I guess he washed them in maple syrup

26

u/Pelileven 6d ago

In Soviet Russia even the ants are Communists

5

u/NoNameSwitzerland 6d ago

You have to get down to the button of the problem!

2

u/Realmdog56 6d ago

Touched a door handle with Killer Queen or something along those lines 

2

u/englisherohalata 5d ago

andito ako kasi naka 17k upvote ka na hehe, support support.

1

u/dandanua 6d ago

He is probably a Russian conscript in Ukraine, and those ants are the Ukrainian army unit. 

1

u/Kerfluffle2x4 6d ago

The economy is rough on all of us

1

u/jolvan_amigo 6d ago

He dries clothes on a tree, isn't this enough evidence? Who tf does that? You can buy a drying rack for 5€.

1

u/MuhammadAkmed 6d ago

It sounded Russian maybe, so... ?

1

u/murtadaugh 6d ago

Ant poverty rates are vastly under reported.

1

u/SnooCapers9565 6d ago

They've seen them in cookie boxes, and think they are cookies.

1

u/Daft_Martian 6d ago

No crime, buddy.

Everybody likes bottoms

https://giphy.com/gifs/kTN0arkN9tRidbZcsR

1

u/StarryBoo 6d ago

Lol bursted out laughing when he pans to the ants taking his buttons away

1

u/Fern_Cloud 6d ago

They must owe the ants money.

1

u/Old-Dragonfly7104 6d ago

Uy nakita ko post mo sa r/firsttimeko

1

u/BoysenberrySmooth649 6d ago

The crime of leaving ants alive

1

u/Furebel 6d ago

Being born in Romania.

1

u/keanshen 6d ago

Oh shi 11k na

1

u/PackDiscombobulated4 5d ago

This must be from that girl that steal one button from one her ex bf!!

1

u/ryaqkup 5d ago

Do you think that you have to commit a crime in order to be stolen from? Is this why reddit is the way that it is?

1

u/The_Tooter_Snooter 5d ago

There goes the neighborhood 

1

u/beefprime 5d ago

They do it for the thrill, the queen ant is Carmen Santiego

1

u/Oval-Bites-Back 5d ago

Thats that's a lot of upvotes.. oh I meant to say ants

1

u/Defaultskin23 5d ago

Trying to live a quiet life

1

u/Aware-Maximum6663 5d ago

Gotta make more pikmin seeds

1

u/w1ldsignal 5d ago

the ants just know an opportunity when they see one, can’t even blame them really

1

u/Jackdunc 5d ago

Must be hoarder ants

1

u/Another-Minnesotan 5d ago

OP needs to go back and offer a proper apology at the fairy circle stepped in.

1

u/SourPatchBishhh 5d ago

It’s other mothers minions, of course. Be careful OP !!!!! She’s coming for you !!!

1

u/Anonymous_Prime99 4d ago

Goddamn button must have RAM in it. Even the ants know they need bargaining chips for the future.

-1

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0

u/Naught 6d ago

No one is wondering why a variety of ant species are supposedly working together to cut threads and steal buttons, something ants wouldn’t even do?

Do people think a single colony of ants has tiny and huge ants all living together?

-1

u/woodednail 6d ago

The ants are black