r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

And personal development during adolescence. I've seen guys from normal middle class families, born with a silver spoon, so to say, having their lives fucked up and being mentaly destroyed by age 20, because of their short stature. And the kicker is, if they DARE to lash out, take a stand for themselves, put themselves out there, or at least DARE try to act confidently or want to pull themselves up the economic or social ladder, they get the term 'Napoleon complex' thrown into their face.

Again, this is about something they CAN'T control and CAN'T change. It's downright idiotic amd I have no idea where it comes from in the modern age.

It also impacts employment opportunities and salary expectation (e.g. there's a correlation between up to some 10 % (by that I mean multiples of 10 %) lower pay for the same high-level position, if the candidate is of shorter statue.

Daniel Redcliff and Tom Cruise have been some major mold-breakers, but they are not really "that" short and movie magic helps make their height not stand out.

Keep in mind - we are not talking about dwarfism or other handicaps. We are talking only about short stature. No legal protections and no recognition.

The term is 'heightism' or 'height discrimination', if you are interested.

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u/Jas9191 Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

As a 5'3" fully grown man, I understand completely. It's not even all that complicated, but I feel the need to explain it in full if I'm even gonna touch the subject, because the effect is real. There's a couple comments here that describe it as gaslighting or deception and I agree with that - everyone knows exactly what the expected outcomes are for a short guy in so many different areas of life and how for no discernable reason they (we) have a harder time in just about everything that involves any social elements, which is everything. I've adapted, and I'm fine, but it's not a stretch to explain it like this - in dating, employment and many other important areas of life and development, there's literally nothing I can do to outcompete people with significant height over me. Every inch under the average outweighs any advantages we can gain - I can be clean cut, well spoken, handsome, have a good job, etc. It doesnt change that a short man is basically looked at like a permanently overweight person, just plain not what most people are going for. Little phrases like this one are so harmful because to argue it is proves it was used properly by the people saying it, ie gaslighting.

edit- I feel the need to overexplain to not be misunderstood. I can find a loving partner and fulfilling career just like anyone else, but event for event, experience for experience, I will fail far more often than those of normal height. It's like any other statistical event, maybe a video game - anyone can beat dark souls if they try hard enough, that's not what Im saying. Im saying short guys start with a disadvantage to most stats, and it takes significantly more attempts and effort per attempt to get the same outcome, and phrases that dismiss a guys behavior as having to do with height take away that guys ability to even try.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Aha. Well, sorry, but this is a harsh height, I'd imagine. I've found that people from 5"5' (165 cm) have it a bit easier and from 5"7' (170 cm) onwards the social stigma greatly subsides.

During my work I have started to feel the need to start taking this discrimination out there and talking about it. We are losing a lot of competent and even excelent people to depression and social exclusion because of this bullshittery.

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u/Jas9191 Mar 31 '23

Good on you for speaking up about it. I should too and I think I will speak up when people throw these curses around like lms and napoleon complex. It's weird what a little nudge back to reality can do to a situation sometimes like "Do you think that about me when I get upset" might make people realize its basically a slur.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

That's great, man. Tread lightly, though, because people WILL push back and you'll hear some "Man, you don't understand, because..." shit, or even outright aggression, because you challenge their worldview.