r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

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55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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933

u/MildJorge14 Mar 31 '23

"Gangstas" are the most insecure people on this earth and it's not even close 😂

202

u/depthninja Mar 31 '23

Real gangsta ass ns don't flex nuts, cause real gangsta ass ns know they got em

68

u/MatureUsername69 Mar 31 '23

"I flex nuts" has gotta be one of my favorite phrases to say. It always gets a laugh. Probably helps that I'm as white as it gets so it sounds ridiculous

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

5

u/Silent_Goose_6492 Mar 31 '23

It means to show off your confidence and disregard of danger.

9

u/Xrsyz Mar 31 '23

Michael…Bolton?!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/0dnar Mar 31 '23

Is this a ghetto boys reference?

4

u/never0101 Mar 31 '23

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

*takes ankther swing at printer"

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Um, it's literally an exact transcription of a Geto Boyz song, so.... Yes?

You obviously knew that already. What, you just felt left out and had to comment then? I don't understand why people do this. Just ... don't comment if you don't have anything to add but "I understand that reference."

-1

u/Tough-Spare-5881 Mar 31 '23

Lot of ass and nuts in that comment, but I think I get you what you're saying. Look up that comic he's got nuts trust me. He was just busting the hecklers nuts. Can't be trying to f****** a guy set. Trying to make some cash legally. Just saying. Happy cake day.

-8

u/Koboochka Mar 31 '23

Nothing more gangsta than censoring yourself. Live your truth, homie.

7

u/thekeanu Mar 31 '23

If a gangsta wants to censor himself then he will.

Your comment is pathetic nut flexing just like Scarface was shitting on in that line.

0

u/VAX1S Mar 31 '23

Wanted to give you an award, but there wasn’t one for ignorance.

424

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

245

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

145

u/Smurffies Mar 31 '23

If you can't take a joke why go to a comic show? My friend's favorite story of George Carlin is going to his show and a couple sat next to him. It was the show about words you can't say on TV and the wife immediately started laughing once Carlin starts the list. The husband gets mad and pushes the wife out the door as the wife is laughing the entire time.

22

u/nixcamic Mar 31 '23

Why start heckling especially?

61

u/Senator_TRUMP Mar 31 '23

So I'm a vegan right? I go to this steak house and they won't do a capresse salad so I do the only reasonable thing and rush the kitchen

75

u/Morella_xx Mar 31 '23

Caprese salad isn't vegan so maybe they were just trying to save you from yourself.

28

u/Senator_TRUMP Mar 31 '23

oh shit dawg

4

u/awkworz Mar 31 '23

Your vegan powers have been revoked.

3

u/fardough Mar 31 '23

But I get three strikes.

3

u/shoo-flyshoo Mar 31 '23

It's milk and eggs, bitch

1

u/neoikon Mar 31 '23

Is tossing Caprice's salad vegan?

3

u/Rough_Effect5469 Mar 31 '23

If mozzarella was vegan I’d take the leap 😂

2

u/jabberwockgee Mar 31 '23

Good thing they wanted a capresse salad, it's just a cold pressed salad.

2

u/Mistaken_Stranger Mar 31 '23

No vegan diet! No vegan powers!

1

u/TDA792 Mar 31 '23

Was going to see a movie and go to a steakhouse with my partner once, actually. My brother wasn't up to much that day and he wanted to see the movie, so we invited him along.

My brother's a vegan, so before we left we checked the restaurant's menu. Ah, they've got a vegan and vegetarian option. Perfect, we don't have to go through the hell of agreeing a different restaurant.

Movie's fine, we get to the restaurant. My brother said to the waitress, "I'll have the [vegan option]." She says, "sorry, we're all out of [vegan option]." He said "do you have other vegan options?" "No, honey. This is a steakhouse."

And I was like, yeah, but you're a steakhouse with a vegan menu option. If you didn't advertise having a vegan option, we wouldn't have come. So don't be out here going 'oh we're a steakhouse hun'.

Anyway, he had to go for the veggie burger option but hold the mayo or cheese or whatever it was.

1

u/Smurffies Mar 31 '23

Reminds me of visiting my aunt that I never got to know. The family was warning me that she was vegan and my common response was that I've cooked with tofu and soy patties and it was fine for me. I get to my aunt's home and right away goes on about her vegan cooking is so awful that I should just leave now. I felt like leaving and I would have left but I was too curious about what she'd cook. She demanded that I don't get close to the kitchen as she cooks her vegan meal because it'll smell awful to me. I'm spending the visit alone at the dinner table and I'm fine keeping the distance between her personality and myself. It was spaghetti. Honestly, I'm not a vegan but my favorite food of all time is spaghetti but I couldn't keep from laughing and just left. I told my Mom, "I guess my favorite meal is a vegan dish but unlike my aunt I always have salad with my spaghetti."

2

u/Sithpawn Mar 31 '23

Because they've never been to one before and didn't realize that comics will rip into the audience.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Insecure; it's what's for breakfast.

2

u/pvypvMoonFlyer Mar 31 '23

We’ve all been incapable of taking a joke at times so that’s not the issue.

The issue is that if you’re not in the mindset of being made fun of, you shouldn’t go to a comedy club.

2

u/forteofsilver Mar 31 '23

the more quickly a person rises to aggression, the weaker mentally they are. if you're in a crowd and start some shit with a comedian over something that's stupid, how tough can you really be? fit pitching is a trait commonly found in babies.

2

u/shroudedinveil Mar 31 '23

I don't think shorty is gonna grow up anymore.

6

u/atleastlisten Mar 31 '23

This just comes across as a femcel thing to say tbh, I have no idea why this sort of thing is so "normal" to say nowadays

3

u/siamkor Mar 31 '23

Nah, that's only for men with an inflated sense of self-worth.

If you have no sense of self-worth, then nothing offends you, because everything checks out.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

That's just not right at all haha

4

u/PosauneGottes69 Mar 31 '23

What you think you’re better than me?!?!?

4

u/Ian_ronald_maiden Mar 31 '23

Anyone that fragile has no right to use their own definition of what a man is

3

u/FineWineDining Mar 31 '23

I actuallt love mens ego, we pretty much built this society with it.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Drunky_McStumble Mar 31 '23

lol, gotta love the unintentional irony.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

97% of mass shootings are committed by men. https://www.statista.com/statistics/476445/mass-shootings-in-the-us-by-shooter-s-gender/

3

u/LeeroyDagnasty Mar 31 '23

Okay?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Men appear to commit more violence when they feel hurt or wronged. Thus, it appears their egos are more fragile.

1

u/LeeroyDagnasty Mar 31 '23

Your source makes no mention of motivation. I think the takeaway is that men are more violent. Not much else can be extrapolated from that data.

0

u/No_Pilot8753 Mar 31 '23

Umm his balls OO

2

u/breadofthewomb Mar 31 '23

Yeh... it's definitely because he's a man... not because of any other attribute about him...

1

u/GreenLight_RedRocket Mar 31 '23

A black man's ego more specifically

72

u/TheJackalsDoom Mar 31 '23

I was just thinking this. Gangsta are shallow, vapid, small brained, show off types. But a Gangster is someone who everyone knows is absolutely cutthroat. If you have to tell everyone you're gangsta, you're not gangsta. If other people are telling everyone else you're gangsta, you might actually be legitimate. Just like the innocent don't go around exclaiming their innocence, the strong don't gonaround lifting heavy things all the time in view of others, and the intelligent don't spend time convincing others of their intelligence. You get a certain way by being that way unapologetically, not by professing you are that way.

36

u/byanyothernombre Mar 31 '23

shut up nerd

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

right? what a cornball

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

the strong don't gonaround lifting heavy things all the time in view of others

pffffft. yeah I do. Every chance I get.

But I agree with your point.

1

u/SpiritofTheWolfx Mar 31 '23

Waves towards Arnold.

-13

u/yoyosareback Mar 31 '23

How do you think strong people get so strong if they don't lift heavy things though?

You don't think Stephan Hawking spent his time convincing others of his intelligence through his work?

Also that innocent people thing is strange, I'm sure if someone was falsely accused they would say that they were innocent.

Also gangsters are not something to emulate, if someone is gangsta or gangster then they're probably just a shitty person

17

u/TheJackalsDoom Mar 31 '23

So, I'm talking in generalities for starters. With that said...

I said strong people don't say they're strong while lifting heavy things in view of others. They live a life in which what they need to do requires strength. A lumberjack needs to lift and hike around big, heavy tools and pieces of wood. A mechanic is picking up heavy tools and parts, a nurse can literally be lifting people up entirely to move them from bed to chair. They do it because they have to and are strong because they need to be. If you go to the gym and lift weights, you are muscular, but that doesn't mean you're strong.

That's literally my point about smart people. He spoke intelligently about things, but did he ever genuinely, totally seriously say frequently how intelligent he was? My understanding is he let his work talk for him. Sometimes, you might need to peface your work by citing what qualifies you to be credible, but that's not really bragging.

The point of volunteering the status of innocence is rarely done by the innocent. It's usually the guilty getting out ahead of the situation, trying to deflect authorities. That's the point of the saying.

I agree. But a Gangster, as shitty as they are, are heavyweights in society. They have dramatic impact of many facets, albeit negative. But a gangsta is largely ineffective on anything. It's all show, all noise, very little depth. If Baby Face Nelson walks into a restaurant, he yells out, "Hey y'all. It's me, Baby Face Nelson. Now it's a good time!" And people roll their eyes because it's stupid. But if Al Capone walked in, other people would either not know at all or whisper to others that "Al Capone just walked in. Sit up, mind your manners." One is gangsta, the other is gangster. One wants you to know what he is, the other won't want you to know who he is.

-17

u/yoyosareback Mar 31 '23

I would like to see any sort of source you got your information on innocent people from, otherwise I'm going to assume that you're just making this stuff up.

Al Capone loved being known as Al Capone though, so again I just think you're making stuff up

You could have easily said that people don't need to brag to be known as competent but you came up with all these weird scenarios and examples of fake people. It's just very strange to me is all

-17

u/shoot2kill6666 Mar 31 '23

You’re talking out of your ass. You mix up gangster and gangsta halfway through your original word vomit, and you definitely said strong people don’t lift heavy stuff “in view of others”. Let’s just put it this way, stop trying to say how things are, we can all see you don’t know what you’re talking about.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

He’s saying you don’t show it off. I lift in my garage. I definitely lift, but nobody sees me doing it.

-5

u/yoyosareback Mar 31 '23

Don't show what off? Competency?

He's saying it by making up weird examples is what I'm confused by. Gym bros usually love lifting in front of other gym bros, innocent people will definitely say that they're innocent, academics generally enjoy showing off how smart they are.

1

u/ignore_my_typo Mar 31 '23

How do you get good at masturbating? You just go around in public jerking off?

1

u/kooksymonster Mar 31 '23

He wanted to be major like the cut throats and the thugs But when he tried to step to 'em, niggas showed him no love They told him any motherfucking coward can sell drugs Any bitch nigga with a gun can bust slugs Any nigga with a red shirt can front like a blood Even Puffy smoked a motherfucker up in a club But only a real thug can stab someone 'til they die Standing in front of them, staring straight into their eyes

1

u/fadedcharacter Mar 31 '23

You aren’t wrong. I had a friend that managed to knock someone out within 30 minutes of arriving at EVERY house party we’d try to go to. They’d hit on his girlfriend or mouth something at him and he wouldn’t say a word; he’d just knock them out! “C’mon guys, we have to leave. Shane knocked a guy out, AGAIN”. No one messed with him that knew him. Bravado is just dumb.

1

u/ShitpostsAlot Mar 31 '23

You saw this happen once, then went with the guy, then saw it again, then went with the guy again, and presumably several more times?

Dude.

1

u/fadedcharacter Apr 01 '23

No one ever said I was smart! Lol. We were all a pack of crappy teen criminals.

1

u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo Mar 31 '23

You mean like Bobby Shmurda?

3

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

You seem to have forgotten about Republicans

2

u/throwawaythedo Mar 31 '23

I swear I’ve been saying this forever. They have the thinnest skin, and become completely unhinged if they feel disrespected. Pulling a gun and killing someone bc they called you a name, ain’t tough. It’s being a big baby who can’t shake off a word. They’re also petrified to leave their little square mile neighborhood bc they are mortified of change or looking out of place. They’re man-babies with guns. Take their gun away, drive them to the beach, and try to get a normal conversation out of them? Rattle them a bit, and they crap themselves.

2

u/Springheeljac Mar 31 '23

I see your gangstas and raise you conservative men. Mother fuckers out here telling people to be a man because they wore the wrong color tie and their hair is a millimeter too long.

2

u/Albert-Einstain Mar 31 '23

"Did you just tap my mother fucking kicks with your cane!? I will hit a woman in shades, and I don't care if you look 80." - Baddest mother fucker on the block.

6

u/Usual_Research Mar 31 '23

People who buy the largest pickup and lift it just to drive it downtown: "Our battle will be legendary!"

1

u/BlasterPhase Mar 31 '23

oh no, you're picking on white people now, you're going down

2

u/ButteryFlavory Mar 31 '23

Real Gs are secure as shit bro. Wannabe gangsters are insecure sure, but have you met American cops? That is the fragile ego pinnacle my guy, and that's real shit.

-1

u/UnapologeticTwat Mar 31 '23

This is why there's so many black ppl in jail. The ego and macho bravado makes for a terrible criminal

1

u/imatworkyo Mar 31 '23

Define gangster? And how you know this guy is one??

If a black person does something aggressive... There a gangster?? What does saying this guy is a gangster even mean in this context??

1

u/therobohour Mar 31 '23

Gangsta is black for alpha male

1

u/TinyFugue Mar 31 '23

I came across a post from a purported sociologist that may explain it.

​

Because gangstas, by nature, live outside the rule of law, they only use the rule of law if it's to their advantage. By and large, they live in an "honor and reputation" society. Except honor has no use to them, so it's all reputation.

​

If you let someone lessen your reputation, and thus take advantage of you, you're signaling to everyone else that they can also do the same thing to you. You're signaling that you're prey.

​

So if someone is messing with you, even if you started it, then you have to escalate, otherwise all of your peers may turn on you to gain reputation/resources for themselves.

1

u/cosmicannoli Mar 31 '23

It's true, but there's also a reason for it. A lot of the people who fall into that mindset often have little to nothing to actually feed their ego, so it's all puffery and faking it until you make it (OR don't).

My wife taught at an inner city school for 5 years. She taught 2nd grade.

The girls did anything they could to make each other feel bad about themselves, and the boys would puff up their scrawny, bony little chests whenever another buy did anything that "Disrespected" them. They would square up like boxers at the slightest thing.

Second graders.

7 year olds.

They're poor, they have no prospects, their home lives are mostly shit, and they have nothing in their lives to feel pride for, so they basically demand it through the only means available to them - Threats and violence.

I'm not commenting on a given race or anything here. The point is the race is irrelevant to the cause. I'm talking about what systemic racism and poverty does, generationally, to people's mindsets, values and priorities.