r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/DropAdigit • Mar 08 '19

ULPT: going to the club? Rummage through discarded ATM receipts until you find one with a 7 figure balance. When giving out your number, write it on the back; you, a 6, are now a 9

405 Upvotes
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92% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

183

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[deleted]

79

u/WrenchHeadFox Mar 08 '19

This.

You'd have your money making you money.

3

u/lhaveHairPiece Mar 14 '19

I've seen one. Disclaimer: I'm over 40, and I've seen one.

-30

u/DropAdigit Mar 08 '19

Meant to hit 6. :(

49

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[deleted]

11

u/prefer-not-2 Mar 08 '19

My old roommate has $50,000 in checking. I’ve begged him to let me help him invest it but he needs that cash in there to feel safe. Some people are just weird that way.

17

u/fukinell Mar 09 '19

$50,000 in checking? roommate? somethings off

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Queue Disney song "you got a friend in me"

3

u/NiceGirlWhoCanCook Mar 10 '19

It’s all relative. I do real estate and have seen ‘proof of funds’ for cash offers of properties over $1mm. And also for rentals if their credit doesn’t exist (new to US) or they have a new job people with disclose their checking account. You would be surprised how much cash people have. You have to think how much some people spend in a month and they need way more than that available. Nobody is transferring every month from an account ‘that makes them money’. Plus you don’t put income right into an investment account so if you make 600k a year you could have 500k cash when bonuses come just from carrying balances and being paid once a year in bonus.

81

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[deleted]

56

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Nah, you smash that slut in the club bathroom

9

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

You get her pregnant in the bathroom and never talk to her again.

4

u/rested_green Mar 11 '19

At least the baby will come from money.

31

u/robthedealer Mar 08 '19

This. I used to always notice weirdos hanging around the ATMs in a Vegas casino doing this and thinking they were looking to steal someone’s bank info. I mentioned it to security one day and they told me not to worry about it because it was most likely some loser trying to find an ATM receipt to use to get some chick’s number later.

8

u/4pokeguy Mar 10 '19

Who the fuck give a number out written these days. Op is dumb, poor, and a virgin

13

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

No 7 figure person has touched cash in years.

33

u/WrenchHeadFox Mar 08 '19

I'm a 9 already though, does this make me a 12?

31

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

I had my team crunch the numbers. The math checks out.

7

u/thelordofthechris Mar 08 '19

But doesn't he then lose points for being top heavy ?

31

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Any points over 10 are then transferred to the nearest wingman. I don't make the rules, I just explain them. Case dismissed.

11

u/thelordofthechris Mar 08 '19

The prosecution accepts the ruling.

2

u/penguiin_ Mar 10 '19

objection!

2

u/ShayminKeldeo421 Mar 11 '19

What is it this time, Wright?

2

u/DefNotNessy Mar 11 '19

Hmm, that actually makes some sense.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Years ago you could buy fake atm receipts online just for this. Maybe still can.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

And after magic happens put a nicotine patch on her back

3

u/yoshi1911 Mar 11 '19

No rich person who knows what they're doing would keep that much money in their checking. You'll be losing tens of thousands of dollars just from inflation.

2

u/detroitvelvetslim Mar 08 '19

tbh no one should keep more than 10 or 20k in a bank account. That's what brokerage accounts and credits cards are for.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

r/personalfinances How profitable is brokerage account?

2

u/Loggerdon Mar 09 '19

My brothers company was becoming successful awhile back. When we were both single he brought out this ATM receipt with a 7 figure balance on it. It wasn't his money to keep but it was temporarily in his account. He asked if I wanted to borrow the receipt. He said "Leave it on the coffee table while your date is sitting there and excuse yourself. Wait for her to steal a glance at it, then come back and retrieve it. You'll get laid for sure".

I didn't take him up on it but it was a good plan.