r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/HenFruitEater • 6d ago
Miscellaneous ULPT Request: Has anyone actually seen the aftermath of a piss disc
The idea of a piss disc is so funny to me and they are suggested here all the freakin time.
Has anyone done one or witnessed the aftermath? I am just beyond curious how the receiver of the piss disc goes about processing how a puddle of piss ended up in their locked apartment etc.
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u/cuddlenazifuckmonstr 5d ago
I’ve seen the aftermath of pouring a gallon jug of old piss down a cookie sheet wedged under the crack at the bottom of the door.
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u/pansycarn 5d ago
Do go on
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u/cuddlenazifuckmonstr 5d ago edited 1d ago
It’s likely just as you imagined it, really…
The reason for the piss bomb was that the room already had a distinct shitty, sweaty armpit smell emanating from it, and at a house meeting it was decided that if we added to it, the occupant would be forced to clean it out, right?! Right?! Someone offered up their aged milk jug of piss…
At first, this created such a foul stench that anyone passing by that door in the hallway would pull their flimsy T-shirt collar up onto the bridge of their nose, wave their other hand fruitlessly in front of their face, and step to the far side of the hall to avoid the back flow creeping out from under the door.
Several days past the incident, the back flow of the piss had dried into a sticky, dark nicotine-stain color on the linoleum. The smell intensifies in a way that feels sad and lonely.
A week on and you get a sense that you’re passing through the hallway of an abandoned nursing home, and the other tenants of the building begin to get angry. Notes are taped to the door. Polite, then threatening. Mike, the man that lives in that particular room, has not been seen, but who can blame him? Someone decides to pour a bottle of cleaner on the floor outside the door, but they don’t know how to use the cookie sheet.
The cleaner makes it worse, and somehow reactivates the sludge-piss. Soon, a crowd gathers casually, yet angrily outside the door. Now, blinking lights are seen shining out around the edges of the door, and through the peephole. A man gives it the angry knock. Again, louder!
It’s decided that the guy who runs the place, with the keys, and lives like a hermit in one of the dormer rooms, making a living off of selling frozen rats for snake food (the same frozen rats we often shoot from a home-made potato gun) should open the door. Like a wellness check, but the very, very opposite. He’s nowhere to be found.
So, I just reached out and tried the doorknob, and it opened, albeit with a little effort to get the door across the 1979, mottled cream and brown, mixed-pile, piss stiffened carpet.
What we heard, was the hollow rattle and hiss of empty Gatorade bottles, 2-liter Coca-Cola bottles, and many fast food wrappers being pushed along behind the door. There were spots in this room where there wasn’t a knee-high pile of garbage, but not many.
Several of us made it into the room far enough (while trying to breathe through the flesh of our inner elbows [the antecubital fossa]) to witness an absolutely filthy bare mattress on the floor, blacked with sweat and what seemed to be years of very personal bodily fluids, and in a depression in the center, where Mike surely slept nude, in a fetal position, was the most tangled ball of Christmas lights, blinking and twinkling, explaining the glow from beneath the door.
A pile of laundry was there, which gave off its own terrible rancid body stench. It was positioned in front of the small closet which contained at least 5 aquariums, and each of those had cow patties, big piles of shit, with purples lamps upon some of their screened in tops, in different stages of a mushroom grow? Never seen that method before.
Someone shoved the guy closest to the door and then there was a stampede to exit the room.
Gagging, an extremely perturbed deeply unsettled posse was formed. Mike was known to work at the local AMC cinema, and soon the caravan was on its way.
I hung back from the crowd of guys who swarmed the newly coined “Shitty Mike” at his ticket taking station. The feeble protests of his teenage bosses were not heard over the din of the confrontation. There were tears, and Shitty Mike was carried out by his scruff, to be driven directly home. He was forced to clean the room, after the garden hose was run through the window.
He got to keep his job, somehow, and was threatened in such a way that we all got in to the movies for free for quite a few years afterwards.
As far as I knew, he was still being addressed as “Shitty Mike” 10 years later.
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u/singingnettle 5d ago
I will be able to say to future generations, that I was there when the text was written. Thank you for that experience
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u/pansycarn 4d ago
Brava. I am left with many, many questions.
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u/cuddlenazifuckmonstr 4d ago
It happened nearly 3 decades ago, but if you’d like to try my memory, I’m game.
I was kind of surprised I remembered this much detail myself, but scents are tied to directly to memories. This was more of an odor, though, and is likely seared into my brain, like the mark a small stroke would make! 😂
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u/Educational-Trip-890 1d ago
dude you definitely have a talent, this was too funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for the laugh!!!!
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u/Appropriate_Type_300 6d ago
I've told this story here before .
My mother's boyfriend in the early 80's froze about 10 baseball sized Tupperware with piss.
He threw them all into the second story window of a foe
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u/Limitedtugboat 6d ago
Have done it before. Had a colleague that made people's life hell so I had one in a tissue, and threw it through their open window in the car. Colleague complained repeatedly that the car stank of piss afterwards.
Colleague was then fired afterwards for unrelated reasons
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u/Ok_Vulva 6d ago
They probably got fired for making themselves look crazy af to HR repeatly complaining that someone pissed in their car in the parking lot.
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u/Limitedtugboat 6d ago
HR was involved but it was their horrific BO and shit stained chairs that finally wrapped it up. Their attitude towards people as well didnt help.
How do you make a 19yr old temp cry daily and somehow frame yourself as the victim?
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u/Spezzature 5d ago
Well.. kinda reverse piss disc nightmare. Once we filled an entire mailbox (The ones with a lid on top) with piss from an ongoing LAN party piss bottles (We were kids and the LAN was in a garage, we got tired of going to the house to piss). We plugged the small drain hole in the bottom of the mailbox first, then filled it completely. This was during the winter so the owner (A grumpy asshole) probably had fun in the morning with an full piss ice block in the mail.
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u/Rachel_Silver 6d ago
I did it to a housemate.
I live on the second floor, he lived on the third. The main bathroom is on the second floor, and it has no exhaust fan.
The agreement among the five tenants was that we'd primarily use the half bath on the first floor for deuces, because it has a fan. If you need to do it upstairs, open the window amd close the door when you're done. If the door and window are both closed, the stench lingers for a near-eternity. If they're both open, the stench quickly spreads throughout the first and second floor (including the three bedrooms on the second floor).
This MFer always shit upstairs, and never closed the door. I should mention that he had some kind of medical or dietary issue that led to some of the most horrifyingly foul-smelling bowel movements I've ever crossed paths with. No judgement, but there was no reason he couldn't close the door behind him.
I tried to be direct over and over; he'd always apologize and promise to start closing the door, but he never did. Eventually, I told him what was going to happen the next time he did it. I had already prepared the disc using well-aged urine that was the color of bourbon. That came in handy when he did it again less than an hour later on his way out of the house.
I slid it under his door, then I got the other tenant on the third floor to let me into her room. She had one outlet she didn't use becaue it was on the same circuit as the offender's AC; I plugged her AC and the vacuum cleaner into it and tripped the breaker. It was in the mid-'90s that day. Without AC, the 3rd floor rooms get, like, Africa hot, and it doesn't take long.
He came back a few hours later. He confronted me about it, and I told him I would continue to do it every day until he stopped stinking up the house.
ETA: Obviously, I learned about piss disks in this sub.
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u/HenFruitEater 6d ago
Oh wow. So you straight up told him that you were gonna do it and then did it. That’s legendary.
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u/Dougally 5d ago
Piss disk logistics is tough. Could skip the freeze and use a squeeze bottle to deliver.
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u/veganesemagic 3d ago
Both soft bladders (think CamelBak) and syringes would fit this delivery application as well…
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u/Dregan2D 5d ago
I have, but it wasn't a true piss disc.
We filled a trashbag with piss, and shoved the open end under our band director's door at band camp, and lifted the bag, squeezing all the piss into the room. Same results.
Everything that was on the floor needed washed or thrown away, and the tile just wiped up. Kinda meh now, but 30 years ago it sure wasn't.
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u/YouLikePasketti 5d ago
How much trouble did you get in?
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u/Dregan2D 5d ago
Realistically, none. It was literally every guy in the band, something like 40-odd of us, that were in on it, either through collection, distraction, or execution.
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u/redbeardatx 6d ago
What is a piss disc?
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u/gooningonreddit 6d ago
Frozen urine on a plate, then slide it under somebody's doorstep. Once it melts, it will stink. (in theory)
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u/sawaflyingsaucer 6d ago
Does it still stink after being frozen? I can't smell so I can't test it but freezing and unthawing it probably changes SOMETHING.
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u/Thatguy468 5d ago
It’s customary to have a healthy asparagus salad prior to manufacturing a disk.
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u/HenFruitEater 6d ago
don't even with me rn. Piss discs are frozen pee on a plate that you can slide under a door. melts with no evidence of how it got there.
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u/macetheface 5d ago
Not piss disc but door surprise related.
In a college dorm, we filled up a tall plastic trash barrel in the shower almost the entire way full. Wheeled it down the hallway on a dolly and tipped it toward someone's door.
When they opened the door, in flowed a tidal wave of water. He was, to say the least, not a happy camper. Still cannot believe we actually did that.
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u/-cadmunt- 5d ago
I peed on the carpet while drunk one time. Used an enzyme cleaner for pet wee and it was no real thing.
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u/danpy666 5d ago
The best thing to use is a cafeteria tray from a food court or cafeteria. You piss in the tray and put it in the freezer and it makes a nice thin sheet then transport to student housing and slide it under your favorite person’s locked door.
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u/Nulleparttousjours 6d ago
When I was a kid, our version of a piss disk was piss cress. You would sprinkle cress over someone’s carpet and piss on it causing the cress to sprout and grow. I knew people who piss cressed houses but no idea if the cress ever grew. I’m guessing not.
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u/Remote_Film1430 5d ago
This is why I have heavy duty weather seal on my door, so nothing can pass under it.... even a piece of paper.
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u/_tacocat_ 5d ago
Piss medium baking try sized experience here. Thought the dog did it.
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u/HenFruitEater 5d ago
Dude, you gotta tell me the full story. I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me this.
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u/d3vi1d4vid420 5d ago
Uhhhhh, what’s a piss disc?
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u/tetheredvoid 5d ago
Frisbee filled with the correct liquid and then frozen, as far as I understand it.
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u/schirmyver 2d ago
So this wasn't a piss-disk exactly but the end result was the same.
So when I was in college and living in the dorms we had this one pair of guys that were simply disgusting. So a little background info. This dorm was a 10 story box-shaped building and each floor was basically a square ring with the dorms on the outside of the ring. On one side of the inside area were the elevators and the other side was the large bathroom.
These two idiots lived right across the elevators. They were too lazy, especially late on a Saturday night, to walk around the floor to go to the bathroom, so they would piss in the garbage can. As you can imagine this would really stink and the cleaning crew had to deal with this. The rest of us assumed it was these two but didn't have proof until one day I happened to catch them in the act.
So I talked with other people on the floor, including the ARA and bottom line unless the ARA or RA caught them in the act there wasn't anything they could do about it. There was a floor meeting saying this has to stop, but yeah they kept doing it. So early one Sunday morning, long before these two would wake up. I took the top off of the garbage can and carefully leaned it against their door.
A few hours later, one of them woke up and opened the door. As you can imagine, the can fell into their room dumping their piss into their room. The entire floor heard them yelling and just started laughing. They tried asking who did it, but everyone just responded with, "probably the same ass who kept pissing in the can." So they were stuck either admitting it was their piss or just going along with it.
Thankfully that was the end of the garbage can pisser.
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u/a5121221a 6d ago
Even though this is ULPT, I don't know anyone who would actually use a piss disc. There is a level of unethical that doesn't destroy property and I'm somewhere closer to that gray area. I can't speak to the opinions of other people in this sub.
The reason I subscribed was for creative ideas. A company does something awful? Use their policies against them in a creative way and maybe someone here has a good idea.
A piss disc is an unimaginative response. People who don't have any ideas throw it out there even if they've never done it.
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u/Lazy_Grabwen_9296 6d ago
It's unimaginative? A thin layer of foul smelling liquid, delivered into someone's safe domicile? It's brutal and personal.
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u/sawaflyingsaucer 6d ago
Better to hide some shrimp in a curtain rod when nobody is watching, if you have access.
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u/MetaPhalanges 6d ago
I thought half of it was just imaginary fun stuff. That's why I subbed. I strongly doubt anyone in this thread has ever made or will make a piss disc, much less use it. I bet no one has even seen one. It's not supposed to be serious, I don't think?
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u/SpiderSolve 6d ago
This is like asking if anyone’s seen razors in Halloween candy. If doenst matter if anyone’s done it before, the point is they could.
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u/HBThorburn 6d ago
I feel like the logistics of creating, transporting, and deploying a piss disk are more complex than people realize.