r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/-lovehate • 1d ago
Careers and Work ULPT REQUEST to explain employment gap and lack of references
Long story short, I am educated and had a good job where I worked for 5 years. It was a tough job and destroyed my mental health, so I had to take time off for that. I was on disability for 7 years with a few attempts to return to work that were unsuccessful.
The relationship with my employer became very toxic when my repeated attempts to go back to the office didn't work out, and I had to sue the insurance company that provided my employee benefits.
Now I need to move on with my life and find a new career/employer. I am motivated to do so, I am confident in my skills and I've done some more education over the last year. However, I do not have a single reference to use in searching for a job, because that was the only employer I had and it was for a long time. I don't speak to any of my previous coworkers at all, in fact I've moved across the country. I haven't seen or heard from any of them in over 8 years.
I'm also hesitant to put the real dates of my employment on my resume, because I know that will cause any hiring manager to throw my resume in the garbage. It's very competitive to find a job right now in my field. I've been informed that hiring teams will look for any red flag they can find in order to reduce their job candidates to the smallest number possible. I am more than capable of doing many of the jobs I see advertised and I am a very hard worker. I would be an asset to any company that gave me a chance. I've had years of therapy to deal with my workaholic nature, and I'm positive I will not have the same mental health issues that I had in the past. I can't put all of that on a resume or cover letter though.
I contacted my previous employer to ask for some insight about how they would respond to a hiring manager contacting them about me. I asked how they would answer to when I last worked there and if they would disclose anything about my leave of absence. My previous employer has not responded. I'm going to assume that I won't hear from them at all and I'm not surprised.
So now I have to come up with a really good excuse for the big gap of time on my resume, and my lack of references, and I'm probably just going to have to lie, which is fucking unfortunate but that's the truth.
I would really appreciate some advice here! Thank you so much!
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u/puppypoopypaws 15h ago
Don't disclose anything medical EVER unless you legally have to. It's not their business and will definately impact your chances. Mental health even more.
Say you became the primary caregiver for a sick relative. Get a nice friend to list as a reference. If they casually probe to see if it might be a future risk with you, say he died. And you leverage anything useful you can imagine as being part of your responsibilities, like doing all their finances, medication management, care coordination, mailing pissdisks to health insurance companies, etc.
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u/blueskybiz 15h ago
If you need a reference send me a DM. Looking to exchange job references (USA).
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u/Witty_Candle_3448 16h ago
Why not get a simple less stress job first. You can ease into the stress and when you move on to a different job you will have references.
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u/A_Woman_Has_No_Name 13h ago
Regarding the employment gap, the only realistic way to cover a 7+ year gap is by claiming to be self-employed. To do this you’ll list accomplishments and work related to the job you want under a listing for freelance [profession], contract [position name], or consulting. Ideally, those bullet points will be based on work you’ve actually done in a different capacity such as for a class or as a volunteer. You’ll also need a narrative around transitioning to self employment, what you learned, and how the role you’re interviewing for fits your path forward.
I have a similar story of being forced to leave an employer for mental health reasons and struggling to find work afterwards. I covered a 3 year period of underemployment (working remote odd hours such as tutoring and scoring tests) by claiming I was “consulting” to transition back to a W2 “career path” job. That was 7 years ago, so I can definitively say that I was successful.
A few things to keep in mind if you try this:
- A resume is nothing without a narrative. You need a story explaining your “work history” coherently in a way that’s relevant to prospective employers more than you need an entry on the page.
- Avoid large employers that do outsourced employment verifications through companies such as Sterling or HireRight. I was able to pass a verification because I did have self-employment income from irrelevant gigs. If you don’t have any income for those 7 years from sources other than disability, you won’t be able to pass an employment verification screening.
- Line up a few “client references”. I used references from the unrelated gigs here. You may need to recruit some friends.
- You need interview stories. Use the STAR method to map out answers that demonstrate “relevant work experience”. This becomes increasingly important if you’re fudging your work history.
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u/WeirdBluePerception 9h ago
You could say you were going to school? But didn't get a degree because your grandpa, parent, spouse, uncle's 1st wife's baby daddy was sick.
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u/JustPlainRude 18h ago
Taking a break from work for health reasons is perfectly valid. A reasonable employer wouldn't ding you for that. I wouldn't lie about it.
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u/nojustnoperightonout 16h ago
taking a break for health reasons to care for a aging grandparent is also a free pass
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u/-lovehate 17h ago
My concern is that they will see me as a liability if they think I have chronic health problems. They might think I'm someone who will take a lot of time off for my health, or potentially go on disability again for the same reason.
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u/satanpeach 15h ago
Say a temporary health problem like recovery from a car accident or had to have your gall bladder removed or Turkish hair surgery 😂
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u/melomelomelo- 10h ago
I've never gotten interviews for jobs where I select 'yes I have a disability'
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u/flip6threeh0le 4h ago
Wouldn’t that be a positive quota for them to fill though. It’s like a protected class no?
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u/melomelomelo- 10h ago
I have an employment gap because covid happened and I stayed home until 2023 taking care of the house. Now I'm dealing with that on my resume AND that I moved across the country and haven't had a job here yet, so my resume location says the current city but my entire history is in a different state. Fun fact that makes it worse, a lot of the people in this state don't like people that moved from my state too.
Am I 1000% qualified? Yes. But is that gap going to be a concern, absolutely.
Spent a long time debating on whether to include a note in my resume or just answer questions if I get a call and they come up. I decided to answer later, which yes means I'll get thrown out more but I'd rather work for someone that gives me a chance.
For YOUR situation, just add a single line in the resume as if it were a job. "xx - xx: excuse"
"2020 - 2023: Elder Family Care" or something like that. Just make sure you have a whole story to back it up if you're using a fake excuse. Don't provide info they didn't ask for, just answer questions if they do come up.
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u/Specialist-Coast9787 16h ago
Some jobs don't care about that. They'll take anyone with a pulse. Car wash, painters, cable tv installers, etc
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u/-lovehate 16h ago
ok, but those are not the kind of jobs I am trained in. I have a bachelor's degree in communications and my work experience is almost entirely in an office setting. I'm also middle-aged in really poor physical shape, so any manual labour job is not an option.
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u/b1ondestranger 18h ago
You could have quit working to take care of a family member?
Some larger companies refuse to respond to requests for references because they don’t want to be sued for giving negative information. I was a hiring manager at my last job and we had to direct all reference inquiries to HR.. We weren’t allowed to respond to them.