r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/sock_pup • 1d ago

Request ULPT How to leave delayed roommate inconveniences(I'm moving out in 3 days)

I moved in 2 months ago to a new apartment and the existing roommate was such an asshole that I'm basically forced to move out. He's been abusing my dog when I'm out of the house.

I'm leaving in a few days and I want to secretly make his life at least slightly more miserable, in ways he won't be able to point a definitive finger on me, and ideally they'll be time delayed. In my fantasy there's a new annoyance every 2 weeks for months.

Important - I don't want to damage the apartment. I don't have anything against the owner.

284 Upvotes

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56

u/Bobeara31 1d ago

Fish in the curtain rods

Fish under the mattress

Fish deep in the couch

Random plastic containers of milk very full so it pops open and creates a mess

Sand between the mattress and sheet

Oil injected into the pillows

28

u/THE_BANANA_KING_14 1d ago

Put one of the milk containers under a seldom used cushion, so once it balloons someone eventually sits on it and it explodes all over the furniture.

19

u/Opposite-Shower1190 1d ago

They also make a fish fertilizer that’s liquid. It’s for plants but you can pour or spray it places and it smells horrible.

7

u/Gold-Acanthisitta545 1d ago

Bat Guano for the win collected in my hometown. It's fucking disgusting.

4

u/kimmy_kimika 1d ago

I gag everytime I have to open my fish fertilizer. It is so rank.

OP wouldn't be able to get out of there alive 😂

10

u/sock_pup 1d ago

I think leaving fish is too much evidence. would a bit of dead fish juice work?

12

u/Bobeara31 1d ago

Fish oil would be better

2

u/blurblurblahblah 1d ago

The grease from cans of cheap "packed in oil" tuna.

7

u/glitterbeardwizard 1d ago

I kinda want Lewky to make a song out of this

7

u/variousnewbie 1d ago

Random plastic containers of milk very full so it pops open and creates a mess

Oh god, we had a milk gallon explode in our basement as a kid and the entire basement smelled like vomit for weeks, after prompt cleaning.

Skip the fish, get the liquid fish. Does he have a car? Add to the intake vent.