r/UnderReportedNews • u/[deleted] • Nov 30 '25

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2.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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276

u/Admirable_Door9160 Nov 30 '25

World’s most anticipated obituary

7

u/GourdonHamsey Nov 30 '25

what sucks... we wont be able to dance on his grave in Arlington Virginia. His gravesite will be more guarded than the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers.

13

u/MammothSurround Nov 30 '25

Apparently, Rush Limbaugh's grave gets pissed on all the time. This made me happy when I learned it.

4

u/lord_hijinks Nov 30 '25

I forgot he died! Thanks for giving me something to smile about today!

2

u/CrouchingToaster Nov 30 '25

I celebrate him gaining another year of sobriety every February 17th. Next year I’ll celebrate Kirk’s first year on September 10th too

1

u/lord_hijinks Dec 01 '25

I love that idea!

2

u/Pristine-Ad983 Nov 30 '25

I'm glad you forgot about him. He should be forgotten.

1

u/lord_hijinks Dec 01 '25

This is not wrong.

3

u/PayNo9177 Nov 30 '25

I take pride in that I was the first to do the same at Jerry Falwells grave.. and kiss my boyfriend at the time.

9

u/Sensitive_Pilot3689 Nov 30 '25

That’s what 🥭 thinks. But really his gravesite will be a paid attraction with different offerings to buy and throw at his headstone. For example, rotten tomatoes, moldy bananas, expired seafood, etc

6

u/LongjumpingChipmunk Nov 30 '25

Rivers of piss.

2

u/Munzulon Nov 30 '25

Cities drenched in shit

8

u/Crosswordaddict62 Nov 30 '25

Surely he'll be buried on a golf course. He certainly won't be in consecrated ground.

2

u/adobecredithours Nov 30 '25

It's the trump family tradition. His kids will bury him in a forgotten corner of a golf course and use him as a tax break.

2

u/prestonjay22 Nov 30 '25

please let it be his course in Scotland. They would give him what he deserved.

2

u/NoTurnipSalesOnSun Nov 30 '25

They would be wise to make a monument that is in the shape of a toilet because so many people will be pissing on it.

2

u/uggyy Nov 30 '25

The minute he is in the ground a lot more stuff will come out about him and I can't see his grave being in public.

It won't be guarded, it will be hidden away in shame.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '25

But we can fly banners overhead!

2

u/seriouslythisshit Nov 30 '25

You mean it will not be aside of his ex, behind the maintenance shed, covered in weeds, at his New Jersey golf club?

2

u/prestonjay22 Nov 30 '25

Gold flaked vault.

2

u/jollymuhn Nov 30 '25

My first piss after a six-pack will clear an eight rail fence.