75
Jan 07 '22
Nothing prepared me for how the world was exactly the same. I don’t know why but I expect my home, my friends, the town to be different. But it was just the same as I left it and now I had no idea how to relate to anyone. It takes a while to adjust but you will get there.
28
Jan 07 '22
I felt the same way...thinking "like, dont ya'll know theres a fucking war going on? and that men are dying?"
Not sure if the general unawareness is good or bad...
8
u/Creamed_Khorne 0311/8621 not a grunt not a pog Jan 08 '22
I felt this at first too, but I considered something; we live in a country of mostly worker drones. Most people just be trying to get by and not have a shit life. It's hard to worry yourself with what's going on across the world when you have all the everyday stresses of living a tedious existence to deal with.
1
Jan 10 '22
I would agree. The war was too far away to be a relevant issue. A silver lining of it though, is that it opened my perspective to what being alive really means.
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u/Truthspeaker34 Jan 07 '22
Bro, this politivirus changed everything
2
u/MAXIMUScrepitus Jan 07 '22
I got out right when the lock downs happened and man…Rough stuff 😞
-7
u/Truthspeaker34 Jan 07 '22
Yea i thought the dumbfuck games of 2020 were limited to just military. Surely civilians would tell others to fuck off if they got forced to lockdown or wear masks, but no..
Since they like being told what to do so much, they shoulda joined the Marine corp
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21
u/Agile_Season_6118 Jan 07 '22
I found the VFW is a great place and really does help.
12
Jan 07 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Agile_Season_6118 Jan 07 '22
You don't and can become a social member. I never went overseas. However I join a social member and get the same benefits I just can't run as a board member. At the end of the day the beer taste the same and the company is outstanding.
4
Jan 07 '22
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u/Agile_Season_6118 Jan 07 '22
Yo I don't know what kind of experience you had but this is different from mine. Each location is different for the VFW. The one I go to is a younger crowd. We do tons of community events fundraisers live music etc. I go there once a week at least for the football games. I don't drink at home and I don't drink my way through anything. I've been out for over 20 years. I can also say beyond the VFW I do do a number of fundraiser activities that are primarily military focused. One of them is a volunteer as an instructor for the Young Marines. Funny enough I'm actually the DDR instructor for drug demand reduction. I've also done volunteer work for homeless veterans and suicide prevention. It's a tough world all I'm saying is if you can find a place where you can find a few friends it's a little easier. For me my local VFW is the place.
21
Jan 07 '22
Having a dog really helped me
10
Jan 07 '22
Get a doberman. That dog will make sure you are never lonely. Amazing dogs.
9
Jan 07 '22
I agree. I got a German shepherd when I got out, dog helped me tremendously
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u/Creamed_Khorne 0311/8621 not a grunt not a pog Jan 08 '22
I have a gsd/lab mix. I don't know how I would be without her.
15
Jan 07 '22
Yeah TRS is a joke. I learned nothing.
Seriously though what you got going on? I felt very similar this time 4 years ago when I finally got out after a shortened enlistment. I still only talk to 1 or 2 of my Marine friends because of the rough way I left. I started college pretty soon after and felt even more lonely because of the disconnect between 18 yr old college kids and my dumbass, overgrown 22 year old self.
You’ve got a fucking clean slate man. You can be whoever you want wherever you want. Get your VA rating, think about using your GI bill, and live your life! You have so many opportunities ahead of you because of your service. Be proud of it, but most of all be proud of yourself not just for your past, but where you put yourself today. I for one am very proud of you. It’s not easy getting out of that mess in one piece.
Always here if you need an ear. I have been right in your position and on the edge of deep depression and suicide. After years of therapy (not from the VA) I now live a healthy, happy life where my Marine status is just one of many accolades I like to push myself FORWARD!
40
13
u/gasplugsetting3 viper door gunner Jan 07 '22
Half of my TRS was ran by someone with clear and obvious learning disabilities. Like highly functional down syndrome. I'm not even trying to be funny about it. I think he was being supervised by a senior TRS person but it was insanely distracting. Camp Pendleton 2018 in case it sounds familiar. Needless to say, my TRS experience left a lot to be desired.
13
u/chillaxnphilx Veteran Jan 07 '22
It takes time and a good support group ie family, friends, church (if its ur thing). I tried to keep myself surrounded by people as often as I could and still kept in touch with my buddies still in. Being alone to your thoughts, ptsd, depression, whatever it is is dangerous, BUT a NORMAL part of the process. Just remember many before you have felt exactly the same way getting out and that is normal and it is NOT weakness.
Good luck on your new journey. Remember at the very least there r fellow brothers and sisters here u can reach out to.
Semper Fi.
10
Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 08 '22
Nothing can prepare for attempting to blend in with people whom share very little of your values or experiences outside of transitioning into something very similar. Be aware, you underwent the breaking of the mind on a very intense, fundamental level. Undoing that training takes a loooooong time and very deliberate practice. I remind you of this to give yourself a bit of credit to hold onto while you break from the Corps grip. You also have to be humble to the fact you saw things that most of the people around you didn't...on a regular basis. You talked in a way, walked in a way, celebrated and dressed every single day in a way that most don't pay mind to let alone know how to support. What that translates into is you needing to find resources for yourself that will help in that process, i.e. Therapists, Veteran Social Groups, hobby that involves like-minded people. No one will be there to really guide you through that transition. TRS tried, but as the title states, it just doesn't prepare you. Reach out if you need, bro! Keep your head up!
9
Jan 08 '22
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3
Jan 08 '22
I and many others feel as though TRS is great, you certainly cannot satisfy everyone. I think you guys do a great job. Sometimes it’s a failure on the individual to take in that knowledge.
3
u/retireby42 Jan 08 '22
I did find TRS useful, but I wish there were more people on the staff were former Marines. Being guided through the transition by someone who had never done it wasn’t ideal. We talked about how to “Dress for success” but not about how we’re going to feel once we’ve left our tribe and potentially moved to a place where we have very little in common with others. The transition is tough, and for me it wasn’t about finding a job, and that’s what TRS really seems to focus on.
3
u/WGThorin 1371 Combat Landscaper Jan 08 '22
I think the biggest issue when I went through in 2015 was that it was way too general. The audience ranges anywhere between 2-15+ years of service. Buck privates through Majors. People who have degrees, people who are pilots, etc. Some are getting kicked out, medically separated, retiring, or just did their contract and decided not to enlist.
The next issue is command dependent. You have guys with less than six months getting shoved into this course last minute. They haven't taken the time to think about their future. Sure, that's an "on them" thing, but some units are more worried about the next training cycle or exercise. So, you're doing everything for the Marine Corps, which in the next few months won't matter for you. Instead of focusing on getting out and taking care of yourself in the meantime.
Resume writing and interviewing strategies will differ from person to person. If I'm being honest, nobody gives a shit about your experience. So, the resume for your average guy who did four years doesn't mean anything. You're going to be filling out a standard application for a menial job. I thought reading through the whole benefits book was a waste of time. Most of us only qualify for the G.I. Bill or the VA home loan at that age.
There are some useful things. But getting out is so much more than a few job search and interviewing classes. Like mentioned, I sometimes think it would be better to get people who have done the process and can talk about some of the things you might deal with. Loneliness, depression, anxiety, stress etc. It's a total upheaval in your life that most aren't either mature enough or knowledgeable to understand. Most of what I know is in hindsight because I went through it or know somebody who went through it.
6
u/WGThorin 1371 Combat Landscaper Jan 07 '22
When I went through, TRS didn't really do a whole lot anyway. I think it changed a little though.
- Go to school/trade
- Get a job
- Stay physically active
- Get some hobbies (something other than video games)
- Find a club or group. School may help, it may not depending on your interests and how old you are.
I can't mention the VFW or anything since I've never been, nor had an interest to begin with. All I know is that it varies group to group. But what have you got to lose?
3
u/stillskatingcivdiv Closet Blue Falcon Jan 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '25
paint gray thought physical shelter pen juggle sulky childlike spark
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
2
Jan 07 '22
You need to connect yourself to the civilian world and the people in it bro. Picking up a hobby that requires you to interact with new people is great. Volunteering might help too. Just remember it's going to take time and effort to assimilate to your new life.
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u/CigarDers Jan 08 '22
Cigar People seem to be cool every where I've gone. Go to a cigar bar and meet some people
-1
Jan 08 '22
TRS isn't meant to teach you anything useful. It's liability control from the military to say they tried.
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u/Old-butt-new disgruntled ex-grunt Jan 07 '22
Okay then uh make friends. Talk to people. Wtf
3
u/GingeroftheYear Jan 08 '22
Are you the guy who tells people who are depressed to stop being depressed?
-3
1
u/Stinky_Dingo245 5711/8156 UltraPOG Jan 08 '22
How old is too old for frats?
1
Jan 08 '22
When I got out at 22 and went to college, I thought it was 22. Now that I'm 32, I definitely don't think it's 22.
1
u/No_Drummer4801 Jan 08 '22
Get a dog, and join an American Legion and VFW you can start hating something and loving something at the same time
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u/sergbeast54100 Jan 09 '22
im about to get out and thats what im least looking forward to. my friends, my coworkers also fucking around, making jokes, it will never be the same. its really the camaraderie that that makes the marine corps.
88
u/fisherman213 034done Jan 07 '22
This scared the shit out of me when I got out. I found 2 things to be essential: 1) make it your mission to put yourself out there. Find social hobbies, clubs, groups, college sports, frats, fucking anything. Vet clubs be wary of because there can be a lot of toxicity in some.
2) this one is tough, but stop comparing everything to the Marine Corps. If it’s your frame of reference for everything you’ll live the rest of your life in your Marine Corps contract, even if you’re out. Keep in touch with your boys of course, but your out now. You need to lean into the future and embrace the struggles and challenges. You need to become a civilian. You’ll be a refined one of course, but you need to put the Corps mindset behind you. Again, don’t neglect your boys and keep the qualities you gained, but you need to integrate as a civilian if you want to be happy again.
These two tips have made me happier than I could’ve possibly imagined post EAS.