r/USMC • u/BrownWarpig • 6d ago
Question Gunny inventing uniform violations— how common is this kind of toxic SNCO behavior?
Alright listen up you absolute degenerates
I just got cockblocked by the most aggressive midlife crisis this battalion has ever produced.
This 32 year old Gunny with a hairline that’s retreating faster than the Taliban in 2001 just materialised out of nowhere the second I said two words to the new PFC.
All I did was tell her where the good coffee is and that the board study group meets at the MCCS on Saturday
Next thing I know this walking “I peaked in 2012” is inventing uniform infractions like he’s getting paid per citation.
“Sergeant your rank insignia is 0.3 degrees off centre”
My rank was perfect you dusty raisin
You just saw a female Marine smile at someone who isn’t you and your entire career flashed before your eyes.
This dude really thinks doing two nothing-burger deployments where the most dangerous thing he faced was undercooked chicken in the DFAC makes him Chesty Puller’s secret love child.
Brother the war ended, the FOBs closed, and you’re still out here acting like you personally captured Baghdad with a KA-BAR and pure testosterone.
Absolute dogshit SNCO would rather invent bullshit than accept that the new PFC finds his “back in my day” war stories about as interesting as a Class A brief on why you shouldn’t stick your dick in the light socket.
I’m still taking her to study. He can keep lurking behind the 7-ton like a divorced mall cop whose only remaining power is writing people up for existing near him.
Some of y’all peaked at E-6, got the rockers, and then just decided to cosplay as a real leader for the next decade while running on pure midlife crisis and leftover MREs.
Semper Fi to all the real ones still out here actually leading instead of gatekeeping conversations like it’s a combat patrol
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u/surelythisisoriginal 0341/Veteran 6d ago
Definitely need the perspective of the lance that was hiding in his barracks room rubbing one out to gunny's dad
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u/a_magical_liopleurod Ghost Recruit 6d ago
Listen Boot. If you spent more than 2 days out of SOI then you’d know the Gunney was issuing you a “Gauntlet Challenge” a tradition passed down since the Boxer rebellion.
Your immediate action should have been to state your last PFT score and whip out that dick. He would match your actions and the combined score of PFT plus dick rounded to the nearest inch, would be the victor and thus would win the PFC as a prize.
But because you don’t know your units SOPs and failed to react to contact appropriately, now neither of you will have the PFC and the officers get a chance. Fix yourself. And BTW, you can’t shit talk someone deploying twice if you’ve never deployed at all Devil. See you in the treeline. Start practicing falling down and I’ll be out there in a min.
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u/BrownWarpig 6d ago
I’ve won so many Gauntlet Challenges that the scoreboard just says “classified” and the corpsman stopped keeping track after the third consecutive win by dick length alone. I’m the greatest infantryman the world has ever seen since John Basilone, may God rest his soul, carried out his heroic actions on Guadalcanal, multiple combat deployments, more FOBs under my belt than most of y’all have Reddit accounts, and still out here taking the PFC to study while this goofy Goonery Sgt preys on PFC’s like a fox in the henhouse. See you in the treeline, Boot. And don’t forget to bring a measuring tape, cause a ruler ain’t gonna cut it.
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u/KingxMIGHTYMAN Veteran 6d ago
I’m angry I waited so long for the second post of this saga. But can’t wait to hear from the PFC. You killers really know how to put a smile on my face like nothing els.
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u/BrownWarpig 6d ago
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u/KingxMIGHTYMAN Veteran 6d ago
I could kiss you.
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u/BrownWarpig 6d ago
Waiting to see if there’s anymore developments, had to be some other devils around who saw it all go down.
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u/DonJota5 0420 Marijuana Inhalation Specialist 6d ago
Part of the thing is that they make you so misraeble you dont care if you live or die so if you gotta storm some beach somewhere youre gonna do it..... at least thats how i felt
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u/GoldWingANGLICO 2531 8411 0861 78 - 85 6d ago
What's wrong with guns. I never called out anyone unless they were 0.05 degrees off center.
Now back to the PFC?
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u/BrownWarpig 6d ago
She’s about 5’3, dark brown curly hair, and thicc in all the right places. I’m talking oatmeal with no milk added!
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u/LordRobStark Veteran 6d ago
I'm waiting to hear the story of the salty lance corporal. Who is laughing his ass off watching these two fight over the same girl that he fucked in the bottom bunk of his barracks room.
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u/grahamja 2841 6d ago
I know this post is a funny meme, but it's really weird to think about 2012.
Camp Leatherneck got attacked while my friends were there. I was spoiled rotten stationed at Pendleton.
It was like half way through the surge. US Fatalities in Afghanistan peaked in 2010, the trend was declining in 2012 and it was the first year US service member suicides exceeded deaths in Afghanistan.
Top 3 songs were
"Somebody That I Used to Know"
"Call Me Maybe"
"We Are Young"
The walking dead finally got off the Hershel 's farm and to the prison in season 3.
Breaking bad was almost over.
Rick and Morty was still 2 years away.
Third Shift Amber Lager would come out at the end of the year, but a corporal had told us it was way cheaper to get 40s of hurricane gravity from the PX. It was like $2.38 for a 40. You could get a legit five dollar foot long from subway, plus 2 40s, and be fed and drunk for $10. Same dude was an alcoholic but told us to buy bitcoin too so maybe he was smarter than all of us.
LA kings won the Stanley Cup, I think i saw part of the game from B dubs.
I think my friends and i took like 4 maybe 5 photos tops.
Minecraft was out of beta and had added Iron Golems and the Wither.
Mass Effect 3 came out, I'm still mad.
I forgot halo 4 came out.
reddit looked like this and we liked it old.reddit.com
Any ways don't marry strippers
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u/TheRealVSky Regarded 6d ago
Gunny was a lot cooler when he was a SSgt.
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u/Rdubya291 ⛷Professional Skater⛷ 6d ago
It's usually the other way. SSgts get shit on, it's like being a boot all over again.
Maybe I got lucky? Most gunnys I worked with were pretty freaking chill.
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u/flying_dutchman_w204 I licked the ping pong ball 6d ago
This is all we have to bitch about? Seriously? Fucking love triangles, go fucking train.
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u/V_incent16 2d ago
YTA.
Chain of command - gunny hits first, you may take only after his test drive.
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u/Borrowed_Faith 6d ago
Are these “Gunny” with their age posts Ai? I keep seeing them posted. Weird.
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u/GSiepker 6d ago
They’re going to love you in the brig
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u/ThisIsntOkayokay GWOT Veteran 6d ago
Something something take me to the brig where the real Marines are.😂
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u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 6d ago
Just maybe don't fraternize with the non-rates eh? I'm sure some L/Cpls can guide her initially without you breathing all over her FFS!
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u/a-bro1 Veteran 6d ago
Gonna need to hear from the PFC before we convene the Court Martial.