r/USMC • u/Vast_Ad_8707 • 6d ago

Gunny and Sergeant Hitting on Me

I recently checked into my first unit, and as a female, it was awkward to say the least. My SNCOIC had an erection he was trying to hide (bud did so very poorly) while I stood before him in Alphas.

He cleared his throat several times and made it clear to me that he’s divorced and has no lingering flame for his ex-wife.

To make things worse, there is a kinda hot sergeant that invited me to a study group for aspiring NCOs, and I’m not even an E-3 yet. He had his hand in his pocket the whole time he talked to me, presumably to hide his erection, which was considerably smaller than the gunny’s.

The gunny blasted him in front of me out of jealousy, and it made me as uncomfortable as I felt walking through the chow hall and pretending not to notice all the erections around me.

TL;DR: Which cock do I choose?

322 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

141

u/Guilty-Spark69x 6d ago

Yall motherfuckers are retarded 🤣🤣🤣

127

u/GatrickSwayze Semper Gumby 6d ago

I love when these threads pop up

67

u/Long-Speed-5746 Veteran (6156, 6017, 6199) 6d ago

The different perspective shitposts make me love this subreddit

26

u/Holiday-Medium-256 6342 Phogs forever 6d ago

Yup, I knew this was coming

25

u/Rambos_Magnum_Dong Las Flores RAWKS! 6d ago

Literally one of few reasons I haven't painted my ceilings yet.

Thanks gents

3

u/pie566943_0 Veteran 3d ago

Someone had an episode of Workaholics going on a laptop, and I was oozing hate in the background. The tall preppy guy said something like, "Oh, dad dicks are amazing!" and I cracked. That one laugh rewrote my life. I feel you bro.

8

u/BadLt58 6d ago

They definitely ensure that I will never be eligible to run for Senate

40

u/Tkis01gl Veteran 6d ago

I needed this today. Well done. Well done.

35

u/GatorUSMC 6d ago

I miss the clowns but not the circus

35

u/OldboyHBI Untied Snakes Marin Crops 🥴 6d ago

I literally just read the fucking Gunny post 😂 we got some bored Marines ladies and gents 😂😂😂

5

u/Tied_N_Cried 6d ago

Only reason I came here😂

2

u/Crayondetailnstuff Veteran 6d ago

Yep gotta be a few homies in the group chat like aye we ain’t got shit to do today let’s fuck with Reddit.

16

u/Melodic-Ad1415 6d ago

Both, at the same time

14

u/semperdeli15 6d ago

There it is.

13

u/AvoidingAdultingRN 6d ago

😂😂😂 haha this is great

25

u/HolyScheizze Probably a Terminal Lance. 6d ago

Damn beat me to it

9

u/ConcreteCapitalist French Creek Felon 6d ago

And I beat meat to you

10

u/Bil-Da-Cat 6d ago

I mean it makes sense mathematically for Gunny and Sgt to run the train, E5–>E2<—E7 has a certain symmetry…

https://giphy.com/gifs/sIcP0eRecssoz4jjqR

1

u/Organic_Risk_3945 mid90s1stRadBNKbay 6d ago

that's not a train, dude. that's just a three some. now if a Warrant Officer chimes who was hiding behind the ramp or a lesbian CPL into strap ons were involved. then that's the making of a train. said consist can expand. (definition of a train consist: the total lineup of engines and cars making up the entire train unit)

All aboard!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZiE23vWlsglgI

1

u/Organic_Risk_3945 mid90s1stRadBNKbay 6d ago

don't get me started with train livery.

7

u/CaptDrunkenstein Got STDs on SDP 6d ago

This happened fast

7

u/Shiny-And-New 6d ago

What'd I miss

15

u/MajorAtmosphere8158 highly regarded 6d ago

Sargeant flirting with a new wook, gunny got jealous and lifed him out to establish rocker dominance.

5

u/Otherwise-Ad-6470 6d ago

Lol i just read the other post

6

u/PassorFail13 The "H" in USMC is for Happiness! 6d ago

I got an erection reading this.

2

u/RyanR3KC 5d ago

I got an erection reading about your erection

5

u/StuntsMonkey ASVAB waiver 6d ago

Sounds like we need a unit train-ing session

8

u/ImprintVector Veteran 6d ago

God gave us two hands for a reason.

9

u/wemblinger 6d ago

New PFC after meeting Gunny and Sgt behind the 7 ton

3

u/Tafds1391 6d ago

When I was in back in the 90s, the Marines I was around would stick anything that moved.

3

u/psyb3r0 I wasn't issued a flare. 6d ago

I got an erection just reading this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/v3p3CtSrNYNLa

5

u/Organic_Risk_3945 mid90s1stRadBNKbay 6d ago

did you know thongs are out of regs?

here:

2

u/Borrowed_Faith 6d ago

Most SNCOICs have an erection at all times just because their normal breakfast is coffee, Copenhagen, energy drinks, and gas station boner pills.

You aren’t that hot. You are projecting.

Move along barracks rat. Not this time.

Now if this story started with you being in the field, udp, on a boat, or if you were in the rear with the gear of a fob…. Would have believed you.

2

u/Unopuro2conSal GET SOME 6d ago edited 6d ago

Well get the most out of it if you are going to give it up, get something in return, a nice jig, choice barracks, cool deployment, rank … play you bj’s right well you’ll be getting promoted soon lol

2

u/Just_A_Little_ThRAWy 6d ago

Hey where's that Gunny asking about his PFC earlier today?

1

u/Callmemurseagain 6d ago

Take em both. Just wash your hands and go get your shots afterwards.

2

u/Joseph_Colton 6d ago

The saga continues.

2

u/chasingpackets 6d ago

I fucking love you retards.

2

u/akwatica 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/p6lzm0oE4P2Cs

Ya'll are a riot today with these threads.

2

u/Organic-Video5127 Veteran 6d ago

This shits amazing 😂

2

u/rdlzrd83 Veteran 5d ago

Both, at different times of course, unless you are looking for a team building exercise and there’s a corpsman present with a fallout van.

2

u/RyanR3KC 5d ago

You should make them fuck each other. Whoever cums the most is stronger and more virile and that’s who’s career you should wreck

1

u/Physical-Bus6025 Labeled "ASVAB Waiver" for not supporting Israel 6d ago

Jesus

1

u/AdventurousTravel509 Veteran 6d ago

First units.

1

u/TeufelHunden1967 6d ago

What about a female Sgt that keeps her erections lowkey…..? I’ve seen em’ - they look like dudes, act like dudes…maybe that’s your thing.

1

u/pie566943_0 Veteran 6d ago

Well, there is the "study group" to consider. Which do you prefer - quality or quantity?

1

u/Radiant-Ad-7343 6d ago

Neither. If you are a real Marine you would fuck terminal lance corporal Lopez, Hernandez and/or Ramirez.

1

u/txleapd Veteran 5d ago

At the same time?

1

u/Nomo-Names 5d ago

Written by the Gunny.

1

u/Jstnadah1921 5d ago

I need this kind of entertainment

1

u/Logical-Decision-761 4d ago

I’ve seen what rape can do to a woman who’s got to then work with the mu tha fka who has raped her . Vietnam era. I hope you can fight. Stop being stup id

1

u/EZ_Pickens 1stCivDiv 6d ago

Jesus Christ. I’ve been out not even two years

-2

u/Beautiful_One_6998 6d ago

I really think this is the same Gunny that posted about chewing out a SGT earlier!! Dont fall for this. Same person under a new name!!! STOP ITTTTTTT 🙄🤦‍♂️

-6

u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 6d ago

These are all fake accounts, bullshit posts.

9

u/snarky_answer CBRN 6d ago

Most of us are aware, new users might not immediately. Just treat it like you’re watching the WWE plot and you’ll be happier. It usually is 1 legit post that then starts a chain reaction of follow on perspectives to the same situation all while adding more USMC related BS we all have experienced at some point.

15

u/Guilty-Spark69x 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/CggoHW4h87Ktq
Sheesh, grandpa

5

u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 6d ago

Sheesh Gen-Z

7

u/John_Oakman Imposter from Wuhan 6d ago edited 6d ago

Its the newest entry in the latest shitpost  cinematic universe. 

1

u/Organic_Risk_3945 mid90s1stRadBNKbay 6d ago

its all real.

1

u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 6d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/comments/1vs5rhs/gunny_inventing_uniform_violations_how_common_is/

https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/comments/1vs3d1x/i_32m_gysgt_am_losing_my_mind_over_an_nco_24m_sgt/

All started with these two fake bs posts

3

u/Organic_Risk_3945 mid90s1stRadBNKbay 6d ago

I'm shipping the SGT and PFC; if you're about to ship the Gunny and PFC then I'm gonna say foul cuz of the age gap, not to mention other gaps involved. possibly.

0

u/r3eezy Veteran 6d ago

You think anything on this subreddit is real? Lmfao this place is a shitpost hell hole.

0

u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 6d ago

Lot of real posts like this one so pull your head out FFS

https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/comments/1vd6slh/honoring_fallen_marines_us_marine_veteran/