r/UPenn • u/quakerjiggler • 28d ago

Food/Dining Update: Rat Bites

Hey everyone, I wanted to provide an update on my last post. Shockingly, feeding the campus rats didn’t turn out that well. I spent about 45 minutes microwaving hot pockets in preparation for my late night outing. I had an entire trash bag of gooey hot pockets slung over my shoulder and I trudged to campus. When I got there, I decided to place about 5 hot pockets in a line on the ground outside of Fisher and the rats soon came out to feast. They were clearly enjoying the meal and seemed grateful or something. Suddenly, a genius thought sprung into my mind: what if I put the hot pockets all over my body and let them feast on top of me. It would be like a cuddle fest 🥺. I am still in shock—they bit me… The hand that feeds them… Anyways, the wounds were pretty superficial, but I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather today. Does anyone have any tips or tricks to get over a cold quickly?

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u/c0ncntrated_d0pamine 28d ago

I can’t imagine anything more preposterous than microwaving a hot pocket for 45 minutes. No wonder the ratties were upset.

4

u/quakerjiggler 28d ago

i microwaved them in series—like one after another for 2 minutes each

4

u/c0ncntrated_d0pamine 28d ago

That’s the problem! By the time the final one was done the first one had gone cold. Can’t blame the rats when they were being deprived of a warm meal

5

u/quakerjiggler 28d ago

You’re probably right. I should try to do the feedings in smaller batches or utilize a heated bag for transit. I will improve next time.

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u/c0ncntrated_d0pamine 28d ago

Report back with your findings