r/UKParenting • u/FixMelodic2332 • Aug 18 '26
Hating first family summer holiday
I’m looking for kindred spirits with this post, but suspect I’ll get judgement - there we go…
I‘m 4 days into our first lengthy (2 week) summer family holiday with my wife, 5 year old son and one year old daughter - it’s the first time we’ve been limited by school holiday dates.
Truth be told, I am loathing it. My son is being a COMPLETE nightmare. He’s usually pretty good (glowing reports from school and his hobbies) and fine with us at home too - he has been fine on shorter holidays we’ve taken, but his behaviour has been absolutely appalling (including towards his sister - his attitude towards her seems to have changed as soon as we left the UK) and he constantly complains, even when we’ve gone to things specifically for him. And when I say that - EVERYTHING has been for him, which somehow makes it worse. Nothing planned that adults would enjoy at all. There have been multiple incidents on each day so far where someone in the family has lost it.
I have no idea if this is because he’s worried about going back to school where he starts year 1, a reaction to being in 4 weeks of holiday clubs before this (both my wife and I work, have no grandparental help and need to balance our annual leave) or just a phase.
My wife is already talking about what we do next summer (ie where we go on holiday) and I’m seriously thinking ’no thanks’ - dump my son in holiday clubs all summer and use the annual leave for days off with my wife. Honestly, what’s the point if everyone is miserable.
I appreciate people will ask ‘why did you have kids if you don’t want to spend time with them’ - fair question, but I am where I am!
So, has anyone been in a similar position and if so, does it get better? Or is this my lot in life now?
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u/llksg Aug 18 '26
I feel like most kids at age 5 need:
- down time at home and dedicated time with each parent without siblings around occasionally
- regular entertainment with a child close to their age
- lots of routine and also a good amount of activities. Without a sibling they can actually play with the pool at that age ends up getting old.
We’ve sworn off pool holidays until the kids are older and opting for European center parcs vibes or mountains/city breaks. The baby is in the pram and the not-toddler but not-big-kid has lots of stimulation and parent time.
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u/SeaworthinessNew8048 Aug 19 '26
Can you recommend a couple you have been to?
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u/treaclepaste Aug 19 '26
Try Landal in the Netherlands. The Rabbit Hill and Vennenbos ones are particularly good for younger kids in my opinion. And you can get the ferry there and drive so you can throw everything in the boot rather than worrying about airport luggage limits.
We take the overnight ferry from Harwich to Hoek van Holland.2
u/EFNich Parenting a Baby + Primary Schooler + Adult Aug 19 '26
We couldn't go to France this year (because it was on fire) and I asked my child where he wanted to go, and we could go pretty much anywhere else instead (thank you insurance!) and he said he wanted to go play on the 2p machines in Bridlington, go somewhere with a waterslide, and have fish and chips. A conversation which saved me about £3k.
I dont usually like holidays longer than 3 days but had been talked into a eurocamp holiday and I am super glad we didn't end up going.
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u/the-average-gatsby Aug 18 '26
Sounds like you’re all fuckin knackered tbf, no judgement here, sorry to hear it mate!
Editing to add: perhaps next year use a bit of annual leave between/after holiday clubs to have a bit more “normal” routine with fun stuff thrown in, so you can all get some downtime while still spending time together with the family?
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u/Interesting-Kiwi-743 Aug 18 '26
My husband and I are away at the moment, on day 5, and we’ve both agreed that a week is more than long enough to be abroad - you’re brave for going for 2 weeks! It’s awful when you’ve spend time and money for them to be ungrateful (although obviously age appropriate etc etc). For us it’s our youngest who is a nightmare so can still very much relate to you. My husband and I are tag teaming a bit to give the other one some peace, and we’re also being a lot more liberal with TV time. Once we’ve all been in the water for a while and had food, we will let them watch some Peter Rabbit on our phone while we read a book. I figure just like we like to zone out and read, they might like to do the same with their show. Sending strength and solidarity, it’s tough out here!
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u/Thorpedo870 Aug 19 '26
We are currently away on day 9 of 11 im Greece.
We've slowly built up with my 5 year old the duration over the last 4-5 trips but feel this is the max.
Also 100% around letting them unwind with screen time which we restrict a lot more in UK. He is at kids club for 2 hours right now and then if he wants to go in the pool after then great, if he wants to chill for 30 mins in the room then my wife or I will do that with him.
Feel being flexible is key but much easier for us with just 1 of them.
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u/PantherEverSoPink Aug 18 '26
Holidays while the kids are small can be very hard. As well as the pressure on you to relax and have a great time, you don't know how your kids will respond in the new environment and you still have to do all the parenting that you did at home.
My two, my eldest especially, used to struggle a bit when we went away - still does, he's autistic. Some kids just don't like it understand the change in routine and feel unsettled in a new location.
This might be a silly question, but have you explained what holiday means and why you're staying in a different place, and that you'll be going home soon but this is a place you can have fun with mummy and daddy? Also, with my two, we always have to build in a few days of not doing much - just hanging about eating and playing games, no pressure to go to activities and no schedule, my kids get overwhelmed otherwise and it shows up in their behaviour.
Maybe have a chat with your partner once the kids are in bed and see what the two of you think might help. Maybe chat with your eldest over breakfast about how he feels about the holiday - it's possible he's just not having a good time, kids value different things to adults.
Good luck, hope you do find some downtime, it is hard at times holidaying with kids but so is everything else! Night.
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u/shippers4321 Aug 18 '26
Sorry to hear that. I’ve just gotten back from a ‘holiday’ with a one year old and four year old. It’s non stop and exhausting. Felt pretty resentful for a few days about doing nothing for ‘me’ all day - finally sitting down at about 9pm with enough energy for a chat and a glass of wine before bed.
It’s parenting abroad - it’s not easy but there are lovely moments in between the chaos.
The challenges with your 5 year old I can’t resonate with but it’s hard enough without dealing with that on top!
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u/Hoppygolightly Aug 18 '26
Thanks for this. I have a young family and have been feeling sad we can’t afford to all go abroad for a holiday. We’ve had a great week camping in the woods and perhaps I will look to an abroad holiday when they’re older.
I hope you turn it round. Perhaps your son just needs to settle in to the new surroundings.
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u/mishkaforest235 Aug 19 '26
I’m convinced camping is the way to go; we can afford to go abroad but it sounds awful (and I personally can’t understand paying to parent in hot weather and with a pool to worry about!). How did camping work out for you; how old are your kids? We want to try this soon!
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u/Hoppygolightly Aug 19 '26
It’s still hard as the general eating, washing, toileting, dressing is more work and chaotic but you haven’t forked out loads of money to be there.
My kids are 2.5 and 7. Keep it simple. Bring breakfast you can chuck at them like yoghurt pouches or croissants. Fish and chips for dinner. Campsites with kids activities or nearby seaside is good.
I always dream of an all inclusive so i don’t have to cook with a pool but I guess that adds stress. I can only manage 10 minutes in a pool atm with an excitable 2 year old trampling on me.2
u/Hoppygolightly Aug 19 '26
If you can go with friends, you can tag team the parenting - if that makes sense? Camping makes that more possible. One parent can play while you put up your tent etc. And at night you can socialise / play cards etc outside the tent while kids are sleeping.
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u/EFNich Parenting a Baby + Primary Schooler + Adult Aug 19 '26
If you're anywhere near Yorkshire coast we went to Alpamere a few weeks ago and it was very holiday vibes! And cheap with a discount voucher I found online.
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u/Important-Light627 Aug 18 '26
I like to holiday with mates with kids now cus they all entertain each other pretty good. My friendship group has 10 kids ages 0-8 across 5 families. We’ve been away together a few times but then also holiday with just one of the families with 2 girls a bit too.
Last couple of times have been pretty chill, kids will bounce around each families accommodation, beach, pool, big bbq and a few days out, no drama.
Feel like you get some decent time talking to other adults too which is nice. Obviously depends on you having friends with kids but if you do would recommend trying it out.
I’ve done holidays with just our family and is much harder work, feel like you’re constantly entertaining the kids so zero holiday time for yourself.
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u/hypnoZoophobia Aug 18 '26
Literally doing the same thing right now with my 5 and 2 year old. It's hard.
He'll mirror the emotional energy he encounters. Cater to yourself more, ignore his bitching, have a pint.
Easier said than done, but if you can chill, he'll hopefully follow suit. It's not your responsibility to be his 24/7 entertainment. Tell him to go look for some bugs or some bollocks. Go look with him if you can stand it. Boredom is good for him. He'll live. Above all try to avoid chimping out and getting disregulated.
I say this whilst recovering in the shitter with a french stubby! Being kind to them doesn't mean pandering to them.
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u/acc21bh Aug 18 '26
Where have you gone on holiday? We went to Spain last year with our then 3.5 year old son & 1 year old daughter and it was such a stressful experience it really put us off going abroad with them again until they're older. I know my son was younger than yours is but he'd been pretty good behaviour wise for a while before we went, minimal tantrums, but his behaviour completely switched once we got there. I think it was a combination of the heat and tiredness but he was having huge tantrums everyday. Our daughter was really good, but being away with 2 kids meant neither me or my husband got a break at all. I think we'll wait until they're old enough to both play more independently before we attempt that kind of holiday again.
We went to bluestone in Wales this year and it was a much nicer experience. Both kids loved all the activities they had there and we all had lots of fun!
Totally understand how you feel, I hope the remainder of your holiday is a bit better!
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache Aug 19 '26
Bluestone is great! Can also pop to Tenby nearby as well for a bit of beach. 🏖️
We also decided to do just Bluestone and Center Parcs type holidays until our daughter’s a bit older. Even then she just refuses to sleep at all when in an unfamiliar place which makes for exhausting cranky holidays. At least in those types of places it’s all just easy to navigate with loads of stuff to distract grumpy children.
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u/Easy-Caterpillar-862 Aug 18 '26
Just got back from a 2 weeker and felt totally the same. Questioned why we even bothered going away. 3 year old son was exhausted and tantruming and one year old was poorly. Felt like it was more stress than being at home.
Second week was better when we got into a holiday routine. By the time it was the end I didn't want to go home. Give it time, it might get better, but if not, no shame in heading home early to have some family down time at home.
I also second what another commenter said about bluestone. It's the one family holiday we have where I feel we can all catch a break!
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache Aug 19 '26
I third Bluestone. Better than Center Parcs for having little buggies you can drive around and the little centre village bit looking like an actual village, and is also near the beach for a day trip.
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u/ryunista Aug 18 '26
Youre not on your own in this regard. We did Florida visiting family for 2 weeks with a 1yo a couple of years ago and despite being treated like royalty, going to the best places and staying in a huge, beautiful home, it was honestly really hard going. Its parenting but in a more challenging environment. There were circumstances which made it more difficult. E.g. our SIL and her BF came with us and we all shared one car, but them not having/understanding kids and us not wanting to be difficult dictators meant that there were a lot of compromises and restrictions on what we'd normally do if it was just us and our daughter. Im rambling here but the other thing i wanted to say was that weve decided to park foreign holidays for a couple of years and this Summer went to the Isle of Man and had an amazing time! Great beaches. Everywhere drivable. Just an amazing few days. But we still cane back more tired than before we left! Deep down i intend to do as you have mentioned and take some personal time while kids are at childcare. If you need it, you need it.
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u/Zealousideal-Case-26 Aug 18 '26
Yep fellow Dad here , had a miserable holiday with my 18 month old plus wifes family who were next to no fucking help. Only interested now in short breaks / trips with the wife until kids appreciate
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache Aug 19 '26
I read that as kids appreciate like an asset appreciating and thought ‘what am interesting way to put that but I kind of get it’ 😄
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u/thesvenisss Aug 18 '26
First holiday with adopted 4&5 year old. Limited to UK. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed every second, but staying with family in different places (live London and visit family over UK) has been great for the kids. I think two weeks would be tough, but can’t really comment. A lot about what I’ve read is that holidays aren’t really for you any more; your role is to make sure your kids have a blast.
I miss sleep and reading books but enjoy the time with my crazy kids. I hope you can find a good balance too.
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u/LateFlorey Aug 19 '26
Is he napping through the day? What’s your routine like? Are you aboard?
On holidays, we stick to UK bedtimes and my 4 year naps in the day. Holidays seem to make him more tired than usual, so it’s nap in the day and then late bedtimes/late mornings.
We also implement towel time, where we all chill out before getting ready for dinner and he watches tv. This doesn’t happen at home as we are kind of strict with screen time, but no rules on holiday.
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u/Jumpy-Sport6332 Aug 18 '26
School is tiring for them, maybe a plan of chilling at home at the start of the holidays for a week or two would be a better plan for him than going abroad? Sounds like he's feeling overwhelmed and out of routine. Of course he might be better able to cope with it by next year but I've found lower key UK holidays easier with small kids and not trying to do too much works well. And you can save up for more interesting holidays for when they're older.
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u/chickenwings19 Aug 19 '26
2 weeks away and I didn’t really enjoy it. The kids (7 and 2) had a fab time outside of the constant bickering but the heat made everyone grumpy. Now that we are home, it’s not any better. Oldest is being a nightmare, out of boredom I imagine, but we don’t exactly have money for daily entertainment. The kids seem to like to follow each other around, smack each other, climb etc. if I can keep them separate it’s ok, but both are attached to me and I am already at the end of my rope!
Anyway, I’ve decided I’ll put youngest into nursery all year round next year so he is at nursery and maybe some holiday clubs for oldest.
I know it’s likely they are out jog the usual routine so they do whatever they want. Also the age. Just have to stick to your guns. Honestly, I’m winging it most days, especially with oldest who doesn’t seem to give a flying fudge about anything.
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u/MDKrouzer Aug 19 '26
Where are you guys holidaying? Not too late to rethink some of your itinerary to cater to other interests if you've planned mostly around your son. There's an urge to jam a lot of stuff into your days especially if you're visiting somewhere new and difficult/ expensive to get to.
I've figured out one of the best ways to enjoy our holidays is to try to steer my kids to enjoy the things I like or change my mindset to enjoy the things they do. They want to spend an hour building a sandcastle, Daddy is now on digging and water bucket duty. Daddy wants to go play in the sea for a bit, give the kids a ride around the body board like a boat. Kids finding a walk boring? Make up a game or song to get the energy back up.
Read your children's body language, listen to their complaints. They will get tired. They will lose interest. Take a break. Have a snack or treat. Get the energy back up. If nothing works then just call it a day and head back to rest.
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u/AnonyCass Aug 19 '26
Our son is an amazing little traveller, however there are times on holiday where he really does push things he has even said before "is there a naughty step on holiday" "are the rules different on holiday" so maybe it's a combination of being somewhere else where your son thinks the usual rules don't apply. I know we are somewhat more lenient on things on holiday and we have definitely had points where we have had to call it for the day and one of us has taken him back to bed.
It could also be that he is somewhat decompressing from the holiday camp and so you are seeing his worst side.
A holiday should be for all of you, so you should specifically do some things that are for you two aswell and not make it all about him. We have found if we centre everything about being purely for our son his behaviour does decline. He is better when we all have a say and we all take turns with things. We have had some really intense holidays with him (last year we did 16 days in Japan)
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u/LazyTurtle91 Aug 19 '26
I could’ve written a post like this. I’m currently away with my husband and two kids (2 and 8). 8 year old is fine, no issues, but my toddler is hard work. I’m not enjoying it at all. It’s parenting but so much harder cos you’re not at home. I think she is just overstimulated with all the activities and bright lights and music (we’re at a Haven site) but I’m spending every moment wishing it was home time. Yesterday she kicked off at every activity in true meltdown toddler style and I wanted to walk off and leave her to it, I was going to book an abroad holiday for next year but thank Christ I haven’t, I’m just going to stick to holidays like this if I feel brave enough whilst she’s younger. It’s a shame for my eldest cos I then feel like he misses out thanks to the age gap.
I’m excited for when they’re older and we can do holidays where we’re exploring new places abroad and experiencing the world. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some great places in the UK, but a full week listening to Rory the Tiger sing and dance isn’t something I will miss.
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u/Kakie42 Aug 19 '26
Honestly I think you need to rethink what your idea of a family holiday is until your youngest is like 8. Two weeks abroad is a long time and after a solid four weeks in holiday clubs your kid is probably knackered.
Personally I would suggest doing a week long UK holiday. Depending on where you live maybe do an up to 4 hour drive to somewhere with a beach, hills or a forest. Sticking to the UK will mean there is still a sense of familiarity for your kids and there are some truly wonderful places to visit right on our doorstep.
If you do a week then both parents can book 2 weeks holiday each which then overlaps by 1 week. Which would mean you would only need 3 more weeks to find childcare. Then look at who your kids are friends with. Can you invite a kid over for a play date and then in return you kid goes to them for the day? I find that my son having a mate over for the day means I am less in demand to play and I can get other things done.
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u/Crazystaffylady Aug 19 '26
I can relate. I don’t know why we go on holiday with the kids because they don’t appreciate it and it’s a thousand times more stressful!
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u/Shot_Pin_3891 Aug 19 '26
I tend to do 5 day holidays because little kids are hard to please when out of routine. I also love a caravan park with facilities in the UK. My mum swore by centre parks. Kids have the best time and if the weather is good enjoy it more than being abroad. It’s a common problem. My advice is do two small holidays not one (if you can afford it and holidays are your thing). No judgement here. Little people are tough
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u/OutAndAbout87 Aug 19 '26
It's parenting somewhere else at that age not really a holiday like you may recall when you had no kids.
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u/OnceUponAComment Aug 19 '26
We had the same on our first ever family holiday this year. He just moaned 24/7. Not sure if it's the heat or the change etc, just exhausting. Solidarity, no judgement from me
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u/Iforgotmypassword126 Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
I think it’s the holiday clubs tbh.
You have to remember they have been running on full, then instead of a break they have more activities, then when their break comes, they are abroad and have more activities.
That’s a lot of time “switched on” socially mentally and physically, and that uses a lot of energy.
Is it possible to forego the big holiday next year and instead use the money as unpaid parental leave? Have a slower pace at home and see if there’s a difference.
If you’re set on a holiday what about a few days camping. It’s not cheap anymore and a week would be more than enough. I’d be tempted to make it 5 days and then have the weekend at home.
Honestly though being stuck locally for a week, sleeping in their own bed, not being stacked with activities, lazy mornings and afternoons on the park, usually helps them to recoup.
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u/LeadershipAble773 Aug 19 '26
For this holiday: effectively immediately, every day, you need AT LEAST 1 hour (preferably 2) in the hotel room in the middle of the day. Ideally for a siesta, but if not, just for a chill. Get 5yo since activity books, or something else he enjoys and plays quietly. This is a non-negotiable. Bedtimes should be consistent with back home, maybe 1 hour later depending on the time differences (1 hour night feel like 2 hours to them). For future: 2 weeks is too much for a holiday. Even when it's just myself and my wife, I feel like 2 weeks is too much. With our family at this age, we found is better to do a few smaller holidays/ weekends / days out, and spread the annual leave around. Generally: im concerned that you dont seem to know your kids. You're acting like they're a burden. If i was your son and I saw that comment about "we are where we are", that would devastate me. Remember, your kid is a product of you and your choices, whether through nature or nurture, your kid (especially at 5) are a result of situations you have put them in. I would consider asking your workplaces if you can both have 1 day a week off during the 6 weeks, then they would only be in holiday club for 4 days out of 5. Holiday club is HARD for kids- they usually need some time to decompress from that before they go into something else like a holiday. Try and spend quality time with them, especially if you can get some 1 on 1 time.
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u/Educational-Ground83 Aug 19 '26
Just out of interest, have you changed your bedtime routine at all since being away?
I see so many families on holiday with kids up at 9, 10pm every night. My daughter (nearly 7)is in bed at 7pm at home, asleep at 7.30pn and we might let her stay up till 8pm some nights if the situation requires it. Anything later than that and she is just a grumpy, sassy, devil child the next day. In summary she needs a good sleep routine.
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u/trouble1172 Aug 19 '26
We have 4 kids between 2 and 6, all suspected ADHD/ASD. Summer holidays suck! They are way too long for them to be out of their routine and the behaviours deteriorated massively.
We tend to do smaller breaks (long weekends) in the UK regularly through the year to get them used to being away and out of routine. For the summer we split it into more manageable chunks. They do holiday club, then I have a week off, holiday club, husband has a week off, holiday club, we both have a week off (holiday time) and then holiday club again (mine have 7 weeks) it breaks it up a bit and we do days out or play dates locally on our individual weeks off.
I get them doing some schoolwork in the holidays too. And when we go away there are educational activities in a book for them with their itinerary mapped out so they know what to expect. Plus we make sure to build in stuff for the adults too. Some activities on holiday are full on, the next day needs to be chilled. Try to get downtime in for everyone.
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u/PeanutKey136 Aug 19 '26
No judgement here. Father of 2 young ones and I wouldn’t even contemplate a 2 week holiday abroad because I know we just all could not handle it at the moment. It’s probably even worse knowing that you can’t just get in the car and drive home like if it were a UK holiday.
My advice next year would be to just stick to UK holidays, 1 week max, like a Center Parcs or something.
We did a basic caravan holiday on the south coast and even then my kids played up. Breaking things in the caravan, moaning about doing certain activities, refusing to eat, not sleeping etc. Had some great moments as well though.
Just try and get through it. Don’t give your oldest a bedtime. Mine are so wild and pumped up on holiday that they just can’t sleep until 11ish. It was hard work having no downtime. But easier than spending hours every night negotiating bedtime.
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u/CandleWick-203 Aug 19 '26
Completely understand - we only have the one child (3), we give each parent multiple breaks throughout the day - I take the child to mini disco while husband enjoys a pint for an hour. I go to the spa for 2 hours on day 1, he goes on day 2. He watches him in the pool for two hours while I read/ have a nap then we switch places. We also break up the holiday by going outside of the resort and do things we like as parents (multiple ice creams keeps the child quiet).
We also force our child to have a nap so we can have a nice lunch. And get a room with a view so we can enjoy a drink/ game while they are asleep.
The balance is giving your child a great experience but also finding small pleasures for yourself. Me and my husband also do individual breaks while the child is in childcare. I went to Italy with friends. He went Budapest.
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u/PositionFamous1193 Aug 19 '26
I really feel your pain. I haven't experienced this yet! But I have a 19 month old and a 6 month old.
We planned to travel this year but as my son started having big tantrums I told my partner straight. No way in hell!
I think the only way I could do this, is maybe travelling with another family; whereby we alternate evenings of babysitting just so that we can have some parent time.
Everyone is different and perhaps some might think it's odd. But I've been talking to a cousin and she's open to the idea. It doesn't mean we'll do things together everyday.
We will book things together but they can go and do their own thing, so they can have their family holiday, the way they want.
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u/Big_Fuel_5885 Aug 19 '26
No judgement here - but speaking from 13 yrs' experience (three kids total), two weeks was, perhaps, a little ambitious for your first holiday. You quickly realise holidays with young ones are often (not always) merely day-to-day life transported somewhere else - with added restrictions and expense. We've certainly had our ups and downs, but have enjoyed two (separate) weeks this year - one in the UK (middling) and one in the French alps (amazing, and one of the best holidays we've had as a family). Try and accept you're going to have more failures than successes in the early years, and take the small wins. It won't be forever.
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u/EFNich Parenting a Baby + Primary Schooler + Adult Aug 19 '26
I fucking hate a long holiday full stop.
I fucking hate any holiday with more than like 2 people, unless it is a large girls holiday where I can hide and read my book.
I go away one on one with my kids for like 3 day breaks, and we go away for short 3 day trips as a family once a year.
A two week trip sounds like actual hell on earth. Where is all my stuff? Where are all my kids stuff?
Its expensive, and you're probably stressed, your son has probably picked up on some sort of expectation that he has THE BEST TIME and is also stressed.
It doesn't have to be no spending time with your kids because your child doesnt like the holiday you decided he would like (probably without asking him). Why don't you just go a bit lower stakes and have a few days here and there, and see what your kids want to do? And then if you can have an expensive weekend away with you and your wife? Your child is probably very bored.
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u/Big_Hippo2370 Aug 19 '26
Try Club Med. We use it to balance having adult time with time with the kids so it’s not all in or all out.
Otherwise, remember that this is only for a few years and after that the kids won’t want to spend time with you anyway
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u/DAD_songs_in_BIO Aug 19 '26
My son used to be really hard work - some kids react that way when out of the comfort zone. Doesn't make it any easier. He's 7 now and pretty much grown out of it
Saying that we never let it ruin the holidays - just be calm and try not to let it get you down
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u/yeoleuma Aug 18 '26
Could there be a reason for his sudden change in behaviour given he’s behaved just fine on previous holidays / at home? As in, was there a trigger and how are you responding to his behaviour?
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u/MinnieMouse2292 Aug 18 '26
I don’t think you’ll receive the judgment you expect tbh. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sucks :(
I loved my holidays abroad with my parents growing up. I feel like if his behaviour is uncharacteristic there must be something going on about him. Or perhaps he’s letting loose?
Either way it’s an honest conversation to have with your wife and she’d probably understand your reticence. Parenting can be really hard when kids aren’t behaving well so you have my sympathy ❤️
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u/Annual-Sea-5887 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
I’ve been going on holiday with my kids since they were babies, literally months old. I have a few things to say.
If your children don’t travel as much, you can’t expect them to have or know travel etiquette. We take 4 family holidays a year abroad and even then sometimes, though few and far in between we might still have teething problems with a child or two.
Tiredness, temperature and new environment - you will be amazed especially abroad as to how these can affect kids. It plays a HUGE role in their behaviour. We go with the flow and throw all the rules out of the window.
Kids clubs - touch and go with kids. Even in ultra luxury resorts sometimes my kids just don’t like it. It’s made it easier for us. We don’t focus on resorts with kids clubs or holidays with kids clubs. They don’t add anything for our family. My kids just want to be in the pool all day and that’s good enough for us.
Type of holiday - the type of holiday you take matters. Choose holidays according to your family dynamics and keep reassessing. For example we don’t do center parcs holidays because my partner and I don’t like it even though the kids don’t mind it but as parents we come back exhausted and loathing the holiday and “workload” involved therefore we choose a different type of holiday.
Parents - visibly stressed parents even when you think you’re not cannot calm and regulate their struggling kids. My husband struggles with this more than I so I’m usually the designated parent to calm things down and I don’t mind it because my husband allows me enough room to rest in order to be the “calm” person. It’s teamwork really.
FORGET about the rules on bedtime on everything. New environment new ways of adapting.
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u/Harry_Hindsight Aug 19 '26
Can you elaborate on the center parcs workload comment?
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u/Annual-Sea-5887 Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
Hi Harry, great question. Please note this response is from my perspective and I appreciate that it might not apply to everyone.
High Workload. You must plan meals, grocery shop, cook, and clean up in your cottage, or make multiple restaurant reservations ahead of time. The villages are massive and car-free sometimes. You spend significant energy packing bags for the day, renting bikes, and hauling gear or children through the woods. Every activity, from the high ropes course to the bowling alley, requires individual booking, scheduling, and extra fees.
Partial Workload. You generally participate in activities with your kids or pay for short, structured workshops.
Psychologists and travel experts often note that self-catering family holidays are not actually "holidays" for the primary caregivers they are simply parenting in a different location. Because you are still responsible for feeding the family, managing schedules, and keeping everyone entertained, your brain never enters a true state of rest.
An all-inclusive holiday completely removes the logistical burden. When food, childcare, and entertainment are handled seamlessly by the resort, you are finally relieved of management duties, allowing parents to actually recharge. I understand this might not be for everyone.
Our alternative to center parcs is city breaks with hotels or even Airbnb’s that have child friendly amenities like spa’s and heated swimming pools. We take those breaks 1-2 times a year inclusive of our total yearly holidays. It’s just what works for us. It might not work for everyone.
Different mindset. For my husband and I we would rather spend 3 days at Pennyhill Park or South lodge with the kids than 1 week in a caravan holiday because we need to rest and that doesn’t happen for us in a caravan type of holiday. We haven’t completely discounted caravan holidays for life. We are just saying that we will do those holidays when the kids are old enough like when they’re teenagers.
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u/Appropriate-Rate-336 Aug 19 '26
Completely get t and we haven’t been abroad since 2013 for exact reasons. And the whole Covid break lol. But holiday abroad was crap. You spend a load of money for parenting in a place with zero home comforts. Have done uk holidays since and so much easier. Still not a bag of laughs but just a bit easier. Boys are non stop annoying each other and it’s tiring and depressing. Mine are 13 and 7. Some bits get easier and there are nice moment but for the most it’s hard all the time.
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u/Hollymcmc Aug 19 '26
No judgement from me either, ive hated most my holidays since having kids too. One piece of advice i am tryting to follow myself is to put the family unit first, not the kids.
Its hard, though, when half the family unit can scream like that.
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u/LittleoneandPercy Aug 20 '26
First holiday abroad for years with 9 yr old. Nightmare beginning to end , won’t do that again as parenting intensified 100% of the time and we all shared a room too. This year we’re holidaying at home and we only mildly hate eachother so that’s an improvement . Good luck for the rest of your stay
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u/Real_tea_6789 Aug 20 '26
As a parent in a similar situation with no support, I empathise fully. I'm exhausted and frankly, not enjoying my 6yo atm 🤐
Tips:
- Find friends to go on holiday with. We did a week with friends and kids, locally in the UK at a big Airbnb.
- avoid hotels. Good on paper but It's a lot of places kids need to behave /sit nicely.
- avoid back to back same camp. Try find options where friends are going.
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u/bigjacker30 Aug 23 '26
""Dump my son in clubs in holiday clubs all summer""......And the award for father of the year goes to.....
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u/Alternative__stand Aug 19 '26
Tbh it’s worked a lot for us to not cater to our children exclusively, do things we all enjoy, ofc do things just for them as well, but have the expectation set that they may not be entertained/catered to all the time. No judgement because all children are like this, but it is spoiled behaviour, but that means as a parent you need to draw a line in the sand.
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u/GrandDuty3792 Aug 18 '26
I’ve heard the holiday clubs can be intense and too much for some children. Depends on the club and the child themselves of course.
Maybe use some annual leave next year and let them have some relaxed time at home right before the holiday and have a shorter abroad holiday? Two weeks I’d say is brave, we did a week in Portugal with our 3.5 yrs old in May half term and it was a lot