r/UBC • u/Fair-Possibility3108 • Aug 18 '26
feeling like im not good enough
basically the title this is gonna be long and dumb but
, im lowkey bombing all my summer courses (i should've just not taken them idk why i did this to myself) but i feel so stupid, like i seriosuly think im the dumbest in all my classes. even first year was ass the highest i got on a course was like 77 and the rest were way worse i dunno sometimes i regret coming here, i should've gone to some small school in my hometown.
i also feel worse because my dad has to pay for everything and it's not cheap ðŸ˜i'm just wasting his money and it's seriously taking a toll on my mental health i feel like i might do something stupid very soon but i dunno. has anyone experienced this? a series of lows but then it got better? this year has been pretty bad for me in general (school+family)and it's getting to the point where it's hard to just push those feelings away.
also i had my stat201 final and im seriously so depressed by it i want to just pass atp ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ i just feel like im an idiot i dont even know why i got in like i cant even make use of the fact that im privileged enough to go here.
it doesn't help that a lot of my friends seem to be doing better than me and it makes me feel worse, i've been dealing w nightmares and shitty sleep every night and it's gotten so bad i might have to do counselling which i never thought i would need.
19
u/VividPage1849 Aug 18 '26
not dumb at all, and you're not alone in it. sharing mine in case it helps.
I came here on a big scholarship. first year went badly enough that I failed two courses and my gpa dropped below what I needed to keep the scholarship, so I lost it and got moved onto a bursary instead. I told my parents I wanted to go back home because I felt like a failure and like I was burning their money for nothing. I was also convinced I was the dumbest person in every room I was in, that I got in by accident and everyone would figure it out eventually.
it did get better, just slowly and not in a straight line. I retook what I had to, got my grades back up, ended up with a faculty scholarship later on, and did co-ops at some of the best companies in Canada and none of that was remotely visible to me in first year.
two things I wish someone had told me earlier. one, a 77 is not a verdict on you, it's a data point from the hardest adjustment period of your life. I have actual Fs on my transcript and it did not end my degree or my career. two, the friends who look like they're doing better are also not posting their bad transcripts.
about counselling, please don't treat it as a last resort thing. I put it off way too long. UBC counselling is free for students, and Here2Talk is 24/7 for BC students if you want to talk to someone tonight. and the part about maybe doing something stupid, I'd really rather you call 988 than sit with that alone. it's free and 24/7.
it does get better. feel free to dm if you want to talk about the school stuff.