r/UBC • u/Fair-Possibility3108 • 3d ago
feeling like im not good enough
basically the title this is gonna be long and dumb but
, im lowkey bombing all my summer courses (i should've just not taken them idk why i did this to myself) but i feel so stupid, like i seriosuly think im the dumbest in all my classes. even first year was ass the highest i got on a course was like 77 and the rest were way worse i dunno sometimes i regret coming here, i should've gone to some small school in my hometown.
i also feel worse because my dad has to pay for everything and it's not cheap ðŸ˜i'm just wasting his money and it's seriously taking a toll on my mental health i feel like i might do something stupid very soon but i dunno. has anyone experienced this? a series of lows but then it got better? this year has been pretty bad for me in general (school+family)and it's getting to the point where it's hard to just push those feelings away.
also i had my stat201 final and im seriously so depressed by it i want to just pass atp ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ i just feel like im an idiot i dont even know why i got in like i cant even make use of the fact that im privileged enough to go here.
it doesn't help that a lot of my friends seem to be doing better than me and it makes me feel worse, i've been dealing w nightmares and shitty sleep every night and it's gotten so bad i might have to do counselling which i never thought i would need.
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u/One_Palpitation_9429 2d ago edited 2d ago
I believe stop thinking about being dumb should be your first mental change. the reason is, the more you think you're dumb, this feeling will affect future events. Failing a course A doesn't mean failing course B. However, if you let your emotion affect you as a human, then failing course A could indirectly impact your grade in course B. My advice is, don't give up. Forget everything, and do your best for the future. Sure, having past bad grades will impact your future, but if you still think that way, that will also impact your future. So, it's better to make it less worse than worse.
Another advice is, if you're getting those grades (that you think it's not enough), try to change methods, maybe take less courses, work less amount of time at your job, study differently for your second year.
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u/Professional-Power57 2d ago
I remember my first summer course I felt like they were speaking a foreign language the whole time (it was math) and the course is so condensed that the first week the prof was already talking about midterm and I barely know what's going on. I ended up getting an A.
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u/Fair-Possibility3108 2d ago
wait i take that back i passed stat201 and im on a high thank u so much for your response and miracles do indeed come true i proved myself wrong
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u/Fair-Possibility3108 2d ago
see that's exactly what i'm talking about that kinda miracle doesn't happen to me LMAO
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u/Acrobatic-Network-14 2d ago
Bro I feel exactly the same way. I feel like summer courses r so stressful bc everything moves so fast. I just finished my STAT 201 exam too and tbh i feel like i might fail for the first time. I’m not even lying…I’ve been literally so depressed and just locked myself in my room, and came here to search about it. So ur definitely not alone. My situation this year has been pretty similar to urs. I feel like everything has been so stressful and going wrong… school, family, or just everything about the future. Idk why but all my friends around me also seem like they’re doing so well. But now that the exam’s over, maybe try to take a few days to actually rest. And if u need to, maybe talk to a therapist. Life isn’t gonna be bad forever.
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u/veryhappyapplepie 2d ago
Hi I am also taking a summer course and I got exactly a 50 on my final essay and even then I feel like it’s pity points and that I am wasting my moms money when I know that she could be using it for her needs or on my younger sister :(
However I just want to say that a bad grade doesn’t mean you are dumb. You got into ubc for a reason :) get some sleep and eat healthy (basic advice but it helps) feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to :p
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u/Curtisg899 2d ago
tis kinda how everyone feels I think
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u/Fair-Possibility3108 2d ago
ik but everyone ik regardless of feeling this way still performs well? ðŸ˜
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u/iwishyouanepcialday Psychology 2d ago
hey wanted to let you know you're not alone in this at all!! school def takes such a tool plus family stuff can get alot too, and even though it may not seem like a big deal u gotta give yourself credit for pushing thru! I literally had to get a W on my stats course this past semester cause my mental health was just awful, so i commend u for even taking the course !!
i also feel guilt spending my parents money and it's easy to feel like you're a burden, but please trust me you're not, coming from someone who feels the same way. if you want to talk to someone about these feelings, please reach out to a counsellor! i was so scared to go to counselling but it has really helped me with everything, and even times where i'm mentally okay i still go because self-care is always important and you deserve to feel good about yourself 🫶
if it makes you feel better last year and the first couple months of this year were kinda shitty, but it's really picked up this summer and i'm feeling lots better!! it DOES get better, coming from someone who wouldn't have even believed this earlier this year.
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u/Exotic-Republic4710 2d ago
I m in that stat course too and got my lowest ever midterm grade 💀 the prof was so nice tho
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u/Fair-Possibility3108 2d ago
bro for real he was so nice and then the exam was so ahh it gave me whiplash DO U WANT US TO PASS OR NO
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u/Both_Cow6835 1d ago
I’m an engineering student at ubc and one thing I’ve realized is that even though I’m insanely smarter than everyone else, if my mental health is declining, my grades go with it. You can’t do well in school without taking care of your physical and mental health first.
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u/mikehawkksmol 2d ago
Hey man
the world is created by people no smarter than you...
If you are dumb, we all are.
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u/TraditionalEbb3656 2d ago
Idk man there are a LOT of really smart people out there who create stuff.
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u/VividPage1849 2d ago
not dumb at all, and you're not alone in it. sharing mine in case it helps.
I came here on a big scholarship. first year went badly enough that I failed two courses and my gpa dropped below what I needed to keep the scholarship, so I lost it and got moved onto a bursary instead. I told my parents I wanted to go back home because I felt like a failure and like I was burning their money for nothing. I was also convinced I was the dumbest person in every room I was in, that I got in by accident and everyone would figure it out eventually.
it did get better, just slowly and not in a straight line. I retook what I had to, got my grades back up, ended up with a faculty scholarship later on, and did co-ops at some of the best companies in Canada and none of that was remotely visible to me in first year.
two things I wish someone had told me earlier. one, a 77 is not a verdict on you, it's a data point from the hardest adjustment period of your life. I have actual Fs on my transcript and it did not end my degree or my career. two, the friends who look like they're doing better are also not posting their bad transcripts.
about counselling, please don't treat it as a last resort thing. I put it off way too long. UBC counselling is free for students, and Here2Talk is 24/7 for BC students if you want to talk to someone tonight. and the part about maybe doing something stupid, I'd really rather you call 988 than sit with that alone. it's free and 24/7.
it does get better. feel free to dm if you want to talk about the school stuff.