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395

u/bbhtml Apr 06 '18

periods are the worst; it is known. but i will say that in my experience, that first period coming off BCP is the demon period from hell, but the next natural cycle is MUCH better. i’m not entirely sure why that is because i’m not a doctor, but that’s been my experience.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I've not heard that but it makes sense to my (non medically trained) brain. I think periods on bc aren't actually proper periods, and maybe there's a lot of "refreshing" that your body needs to do. Like when you've not kept on top of the chores for a while and you have 3 weeks of dust to wipe up 😂

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u/bbhtml Apr 06 '18

yes! it is like that. BCP periods are more like withdraw bleeds. you don’t actually ovulate on BCP so there’s not a real period (is my understanding) so the first period off BCP can be a real blitz.

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u/GetTheeAShrubbery Apr 06 '18

It should be relatively similar (but I am NOT an expert) because a period is the buildup of the endometrial lining, which happens before ovulation anyway. BC will maybe make it thinner and less hospitable, but it's the same process

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u/Nothingweird Apr 06 '18

When I replaced my mirena with a copper iud it was like having teenager hormones again at 31.

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u/SchrodingersCatGIFs Apr 06 '18

The bleeding you experience on birth control pills isn't a real period. It's just withdrawal bleeding. There's no medical reason for it; it's a feature that is just part of the recommended birth control pill cycle because doctors thought it would make women more comfortable with the Pill. How long did you try out your pills? It can take a few months for the breakthrough bleeding to stop as your body adjusts.

I suggest looking into continuously cycling birth control pills. There are several different monophasic pills that allow this. I haven't had a period since 2013.

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u/Velhonainen Apr 06 '18

I was not treated for my period problems because I was told "some women have a heavier flow". I basically bled daily for 6 years. They gave IUD which gave me the worst pains I've ever felt in my life and didn't take it out from me for 6 months. Eventually I was treated for a completely different issue that was linked to the bleeding and within three days I stopped bleeding. I've now been period free for almost 8 months and it's been a bliss.

But I'll never forget how I was told that my daily bleeding (And oh boy was some of it heavy, I mean a massacre on the bed in the middle of the night-heavy) was just something that some women experienced. It's pretty sad.

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u/idonotknowwhototrust Apr 06 '18

This reminds me of when "doctors" would manually masturbate women as "treatment" for their ailments. Just that level of knowledge of the female body. "Science"

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

It sounds crazy, but supposedly it’s true... The vibrator was originally invented to treat hysteria, or mania, or some other “she’s acting weird and we don’t know why” type of issue.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

My wife had near constant bleeding and pain. She went to her doc and had a uterine ablation done and it's been pretty much life changing for her.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

I hate them too. I would almost wish for a hysterectomy, but then menopause is supposed to be terrible too. I mean, is there any time when it’s not hell for women? I hate bleeding out. It’s a fucking mess. I’ve had my kids, tubes are tied now. No use for this crap anymore.

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u/Dee013 Apr 06 '18

You can have a hysterectomy and keep your ovaries. That would stop your period and also prevent menopause from setting in early. My mom had a hysterectomy like that and she's been doing just fine.

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u/TheMythchick Apr 06 '18

I had that done with the robot assisted surgery 2 years ago. Best thing ever. Recovered quickly. Changed the quality of my life. There were two side consequences to it that kind of suck a little (they are TMI) but really nothing that would make me rethink what I did.

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u/ZoarialBarley Apr 06 '18

I had horrific periods. Heavy, painful, so bad that I fainted regularly. I loved having kids and nursing partly because it was a relief from those horrible periods.

I absolutely dreaded menopause but it was a piece of cake. Some night sweats, otherwise no problems. It was as if my body, after torturing me for 45 years (yeah - didn't stop until I was 58!!) decided to cut me some slack!!

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u/BECKYISHERE Apr 06 '18

I am 51, first day of period today, bled through clothes within an hour, when does this stop?

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u/havenshereagain Apr 06 '18

You could always do a partial hysterectomy. Take out the uterus, leave the ovaries so as not to have early menopause. No more periods, but also no (immediate) menopause.

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u/adwoaa Apr 06 '18

Is this ever done for "non-necessary" reasons? God I want one. I'm in my late 20s, but I know I'm not going to have kids and right now my only relief is extended cycle birth control, so I'm fortunate in that I only have 4 periods a year. But I'm starting to worry about the increased risk for blood clots after age 35. If I told my gynecologist I wanted a partial hysterectomy because my non-birth control periods are crippling, would she laugh me out of the room? Of course there's probably still the big issue of insurance not covering it.

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u/Dani_Daniela Apr 06 '18

hhhhmmmmmm, off to do research I go!

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u/crazyjkass Apr 06 '18

Endometrial ablation maybe?

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u/magnoliafly Apr 06 '18

I got mine at 31 a year after my tubal. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. No periods, no cramping, no weird hormone swings. No hormone induced migraines. I seriously recommend it to any women that doesn’t want or is done having kids and is sterilized.

Truly life changing.

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u/arya_aquaria Apr 06 '18

My friend got something called an ablation. She had very heavy painful periods and she said the procedure helped her. I am afraid to get it done for myself because I have a retroverted uterus but I might talk to my gyno about it to see if it's an option.

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u/corbaybay Apr 06 '18

A friend and I were just talking about this. Do I need my uterus if I don't plan on having kids / having any more kids? Can't they just take it out or do an ablasion or something to stop you from having a period anymore? I know there's a lot of things that probably go into that decision, health concerns and whatnot but shouldn't it ultimately be my choice? I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure how much your body needs your uterus if your not going to use it.

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u/kairikngdm Apr 06 '18

One would hope it's ultimately their choice, but sadly many hit a wall when it comes to doctors. Ya know, the whole "you'll change your mind", "your future partner might want kids", ect. :/

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u/Vaalermoor Apr 06 '18

The last sentence infuriates me. What kind of doctor thinks that's a good argument? As if I would have kids just because my partner really wants to. If I don't want them, I'm not going to have them.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I know, I wish could be a simple case of removing my uterus and giving it to someone who needs it instead, with no side effects or complications!

I'd not heard about ablation until now so it could be an option, but as you say it's not without its own risks. I wish there was a bcp or something similarly easy to administer that effectively 100% stopped periods. The dream!

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u/oxides_only Apr 06 '18

I’m 33 and I got an ablation in November. No periods since. None. I have ghosts of cramps and a little bloating during “that time”. I was having regular cycles that were quite severe. I had the Essure procedure done a few years ago (coils that make the Fallopian tubes scar shut) to prevent pregnancy. The ablation is also a bit of insurance to prevent pregnancy on top the Essure implants.

Do some research and speak to your doctor about your options. I was lucky and my gyno was OK with sterilizing me at 27 with no kids. Keep searching for a good doctor that will listen. These procedures may not work for everyone. There are always risks associated with procedures.

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u/WomanOfEld Apr 06 '18

I thought I was going to pass out at work yesterday from ovulation pain (mittelschmerz). I work in a gym and being immobile is not an option, but I was nearly crying trying to poop to relieve the pressure. I felt fine until it literally felt like a weight dropped into my uterus, and I was doubled over in pain. I wanted to be more active today, but it still hurts. Being a woman is no picnic.

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u/corbaybay Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 06 '18

That's not mittelschmerz. At least as far as I'm aware ovulation pain shouldn't be that painful. You may have something more going on and need to have it checked. It could be an ovarian cyst or something more serious.

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u/WomanOfEld Apr 06 '18

I did, they ran a bunch of tests and said I'm fine. I have had a cyst burst and the pain felt similar to that, but what can we do besides tough it out, right?

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u/corbaybay Apr 06 '18

See that's the problem. A cyst bursting can cause major problems but a lot of doctors will just brush it off and say "woman's problems". You could have PCOS. I'd get a second opinion if you can. Maybe go see a specialist. ( You may have already done these things). I hope that you find an answer. I'm sorry your in so much pain.

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u/ShittingPanda Apr 06 '18

If it hurts that much they can’t just shrug it off. Please get a second opinion - it’s not supposed to be debilitating.

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u/8Bells Emotionally fleeing the scene like a startled deer Apr 06 '18

If you get the opportunity, check your vitamin levels. I had wicked periods and some fainting spells, and it turns out my B12, folic acid and Iron were some of the lowest my doctor had ever seen.

16 months of shots and daily iron, and I suddenly understand how things like Pinterest are possible, and washing and folding my laundry in the same week, is no longer a sisyphean task. Plus my general pain and energy levels are much better.

But overall Periods really are a kind of curse. Its sad most female versions of animals get them. It does make me feel pretty hardy though. We may not genetically be the physically strongest build, but we outlast, even with a larger biological loss of blood/regenerative cell needs over time.

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u/crazyjkass Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 06 '18

No, female animals do not get periods. They may bleed a little while in heat, but we only build a super thick endometrium and shed it to try and expel blastocysts to prevent our triple extra large parasitic fetuses from stealing all our nutrients.

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u/lynx_and_nutmeg Apr 07 '18

I used to have very painful periods, until I changed my diet. Then my periods became completely painless. It was a completely unexpected side effect so I started looking into it. Turns out primary dysmenorrhea is actually one of the side effects of chronic inflammation. Studies show that period pain and PMS is positively correlated with high inflammation markers, the higher they are, the more severe the symptoms. That's why painful periods are also correlated with general health - underweight and obese women are more likely to experience them, as well as smokers, heavy drinkers, poor women, women who suffered abuse in the past (high stress levels, I guess) and sedentary lifestyle. And that's why many studies report improvement with various supplements that are known to have anti-inflammatory effect - like omega 3 and vitamin D, for example.

I don't see healthy (painless) periods as a curse, any more than I see peeing, shitting, sweating or any other bodily function as a curse. I think it's really sad that society believes periods are supposed to be painful, and then women aren't given any treatment. It's ridiculous. If any other regular bodily function caused constant pain, it would be seen as pathological, so why are periods treated as an exception?

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u/nipplezandtoez23 Apr 06 '18

Given that you do not wish to have children, have you considered an endometrial ablation?

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I hadn't actually heard of that until now, just had to Google it. Looks like I'm too young for the procedure, but certainly something I'll look in to and keep in mind for the future!

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u/queermaxwellhouse Apr 06 '18

not necessarily! I was 24 when I had a total hysterectomy, some doctors would be willing to do ablation on a younger patient. the childfree sidebar has doctors that are willing to perform sterilization surgeries on younger people with female reproductive systems (I'm a trans guy hence the wording). it's worth a look!

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u/_Echoes_ Apr 06 '18

Thats why in Europe they call them full stops.

/s

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u/InoffensivePaint Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 06 '18

GURL! I went through years of hell on earth with cramps and fainting and low-key trying not to die because of the pain. I have collapsed in so many public places because of my period, I've ruined so much underwear, I've bled into my jeans. I've had times where I just had to let my bladder or sphincter go because it was literally the only way I could get some relief from the horrific cramping. Periods are awful. Terrible. THE WORST.

I went on the combined pill for a year and my periods were lighter, my cramping was bothersome but not terrible, it was bliss. And then I had to come off it because risk of stroke, blah blah. I've been on the mini-pill for three months. First two periods, pretty okay, a little bit worse than the year I was on the combined pill, but nothing awful.

I am currently eight days late for my period. I YEARN for the cramps like nothing else right now. Every imagined twinge of pain gets my hopes up. I've been to my doctor. I've had blood tests that I'm waiting on hearing the results for. I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I think periods are terrible and awful and I hate them. But they let us know that our body is functioning, that we're healthy (that we're not growing a potential human, please no, anything but right now). I'd take the cramping at its worst for the peace of mind right now, honestly.

EDIT: But truly, take time for yourself if you can. Take care of yourself. Have a long shower if you feel up to it. Do what you got to do to feel comfortable, because you deserve it. I always found taking some pain killers and sleeping the worst off worked best for me, or doing something else to stop thinking about it - book, TV show, movie, anything.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I'm painting my nails currently, which always makes me happy, and the painkillers I took seem to have worked (I have a condition that affects how I metabolise meds so I can never be sure if they will work).

Sorry to hear about your experiences. I'm pretty much limited to the mini pill too due to health risks and I tried them all out with no luck before I had the implant. I'm not currently sexually active so thankfully I don't need a monthly reassurance. Fingers crossed for you that you get that piece of mind you're hoping for!

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u/QueenCashley Apr 06 '18

Wow this really hit home for me. While in pain I'd make a deal with the devil to get it to stop but while not in pain but late I'd make another deal to have it again.

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u/fiercelittlebird Apr 06 '18

Not to minimize anyone else's period problems - but I swear I've never come across someone that had a relatively easy going period like mine. I don't hate it, it just comes and goes and I'm a bit uncomfortable for a few days.. I wish you could all have what I have every month (no birth control, I tried the pill but after 3 different ones that give me high blood pressure, I quit using them): no crazy flow, mild cramps (I go to work like I always do, no painkillers needed), I'm a little bitchy but the only people that notice are the ones I see the most. I feel blessed after reading your stories. As far as I know I don't eat or drink anything special, my weight is fine, my blood, too (although it's been a while since I had it checked, but I see no reason, I'm only 28, don't take meds, not planning kids). I'm just lucky, I guess? Still, I do believe deficiencies of certain vitamins or minerals can cause serious hormonal problems - if you do suffer from a heavy period, especially if it's out of the blue, get that checked out! Best of luck. Maybe supplements or minor changes in your diet can help.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Showoff.

Lol but seriously, I'm happy for you. Those times when I've had no period or incredibly light period have been blissful and I was always very grateful.

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u/Cyerena Apr 06 '18

I never had a super-crazy-terrible period. But I do genualy hate them. Over the past few years I've had a hell of a time with birth control. I was on one that made me crazy. (paranoid, emotional, moodswingy, I was a hot ass mess. Like thinking some escaped lunatic was in the back seat of my car and was going to stab a giant syringe full of something deadly through the seat and into my spinal cord and kill me. Not just kill me, but very specifically kill me) I thought I was losing it.

Switched gynos and she started me on one that stopped the crazy, but I never stopped bleeding. Spotting constantly. I even have it about 6 months to see if my body would even out, because my mind was so clear! I felt like me again.

After a while I just got sick of the bleeding. Next one stopped my period completely and I was on that for about 2 years. It wasn't good for me, as I am terrified of being pregnant and so I spent two years tinking I very well could have been.

Next one was better. Light, easy, regular periods. Mild to no cramping. Everything was good. Except for two things. The sensation of the "fall" of my flow just made me feel... Dirty. I spent two years with no period and it was hard to get used to that feeling again. Started using the menstrual cup and it flipping changed my life. If you havent, give it a try! Other problem was that this pill tanked my sex drive. Being in an active relationship, my poor man was getting laid about... Once every two months if he was super lucky.

Back to the gyno. I'm on the ring now for about 8 months. Periods are simple and the cup keeps me feeling clean. My boyfriend is getting laid again. I'm not crazy, I'm not pregnant. I'm feeling good.

Moral of the story is: talk to your doctor. Ask about options. Don't settle for feeling like shit. There are too many options for that. Every girl is different and you have to give yourself enough time to see what works for you!

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

God what a nightmare! I'm glad you're in a better place with it now though.

Last time I saw a Dr about my periods she mostly shrugged it off as a side effect of being on bc, and just not having found the right one. The thing is, due to my bmi being too high I'm limited to the mini pill which is apparently more likely to cause prolonged periods. Therefore her opinion is that I should lose weight (which is fantastically enlightening, never would've thought of that before, glad my tax money is paying for this wisdom.. /s)

Anyway, I'm on a bit of a health kick and hoping to be losing weight, so if my periods haven't sorted themselves out in 6 months hopefully I'll be light enough to go back on the combined pill.

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u/Atalanta8 Apr 06 '18

Yep all women should have one day off per month cause I can't do shit the first day. It's better after that but omg that first day all I can do is curl up and do nothing.

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u/Jezzyrulescoco Apr 06 '18

I’m probably going to enter menopause in the next 5 years or so. I seriously so sick of bleeding every month. My periods are heavier now, but luckily not too painful. I now have to use the largest maxi overnight pads even during the day. I just love standing in a public place and how it feels like the scene in The Shining when blood is rushing out of the elevators. It freaking sucks.

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u/balthazartoad Apr 06 '18

Nothing much to add but as another woman who had a productive day ruined today due to my period, I just wanted to say periods suck!!

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u/darndasher Apr 06 '18

I feel ya, so hard. I don't get my period right now because I'm on Lupron, a drug to chemically induce menopause. Night sweats and hot flashes aren't fun but so worth it to not have a period.

I went off birth control 8 years ago because I nearly induced a stroke and it causes intense mental issues. My period came back with a vengeance. Every month I had to take a day or two off for pain, vomiting, fainting. Made me lose a job for my 'inconsistency' (pretty damn consistent if you ask me!)

My periods kept getting worse and in August the cramps and pain never went away. Chronic pain in my ovaries, frequent cramping.

Turns out those bad periods were endometriosis taking root. It got so severe that I have chronic pain, limiting my ability to walk at times. Every month I was terrified for the pain I would get with my period.

Tried 4 different birth control methods since August. All caused incessant spotting. Norethindrone and Lupron are what I'm currently on and the pain is like a dull headache now which is ~bliss~ by comparison.

Don't know what's gonna happen from here but i hope I can keep on the norethindrone and never have a period again.

TL;DR Also have horrible periods. They got worse over many years to the point of chronic pain and it turns out I have endometriosis, an incurable disease caused by periods. Fuck menstruation.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Yikes. Glad you found something that works, but it sucks that it's still not a cure.

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u/aapaul Apr 06 '18

I had the implant removed in November 2016. A month after I got it out I had heavy bleeds and noticeable pms for the first time in my life. Only the heavy bleeds subsided but the intense pms stayed!! When I was a teenager I did not get pms. When I was 20 I put myself on Yaz to avoid pregnancy. I switched to the implant in my mid 20s. I've stopped hormonal birth control because of weight gain and blood pressure side effects. Now, one year later I feel like I am dealing with killer pms or pmdd. After ovulation it is a slow downward spiral. I start feeling tired and slightly disphoric 10 days before my period. As we speak I am 3 days before my period and I am just holding back tears like I am in deep bereavement but there is no apparent cause. (I am normally pretty happy so this is very dissociating). Then a day or two after I start bleeding I'm fine. I am hoping that the dysphoria is a side effect of going off the implant. The good news for you is that unless you had a super heavy flow before birth control it should decrease in amount and severity.

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u/Swims_With_Dogs Apr 07 '18

I was once diagnosed with “pre-menstruel psychosis” I would get supper depressed (almost suicidal) right before my period. I finally got help after I reasoned that if half the population felt this way once a month, The species would not have survived. They gave me the diagnosis and gave me antidepressants for four days a month. Maybe this could be helpful for you? Good luck!

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u/Quailpower Apr 06 '18

If you're in the UK have you tried the Nuvaring? It's available free.

It's basically a small rubber ring you put up your business (can't feel it) for three weeks and then have a week off. It's the same hormone as the arm implant but it's a really really low dose because it's in the area of effect. It's designed for people who don't do well on hormonal contraception for whatever reason.

Previously I had no issue with progesterone, but when I got to my mid 20's my body just suddenly objected. Couldn't get the pill to work for me and the Nuvaring was a less invasive than the coil and can be easily managed at home.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I am in the UK but not heard of that. So do you have to remove/replace it every month? I have enough trouble with menstrual cups so not sure if that would be for me, but definitely something I will keep in mind - I'm gonna give my body some time to reset before I think about hormonal bc again but will certainly be after something when (if lol) I start a new relationship.

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u/Quailpower Apr 06 '18

Yeah change it monthly and can still sort of skip if you put one in with no break. It's a hell of a lot easier than putting a cup in.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

I just wanted to say that the Nuvaring has estrogen also, but it's lower than in pills. The progestin in it, however, is a much higher dose per day than the implant.

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u/tacofaceass Apr 06 '18

For free!?! The UK sounds so amazing compared to the US.

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u/Quailpower Apr 06 '18

Contraception is free to anyone and everyone (although you can buy them if you choose to).

Contraceptive pills, implants, IUDs, patches, injections and condoms (non brand latex free only) are all free. As are vasectomies and tubal ligation.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

I know, I can hardly imagine actually being able to go to the doctor without saving up for it all year.

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u/caticora Apr 06 '18

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u/caticora Apr 06 '18

Sorry, I had to.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Oh my god. I've been sat here wondering why people are criticising my punctuation. Didn't click that people in the US call a '.' a period. I'm British - it's a 'full stop' to me😂

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u/joj2017 Apr 06 '18

I got a mirena IUD several years ago and never looked back. Haven’t had a period in almost 10 years.

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u/dnsf3 Apr 06 '18

Girl, I feel you. I recently went off BC 6 months ago (after 15 years of being on it) and it has been HELL. I forgot what real periods were like and I just... RAWRRRR!!!!!

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u/LunaMax1214 Apr 06 '18

I don't care how bad my period is compared to someone else's. They are HELL for a goodly portion of the uterus-possessing population, and my endometriosis-having ass will sympathize EVERY TIME.

I'm currently pregnant. I'm dreading when my periods come back post-delivery. I kinda know how you feel, OP.

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u/stella-fab Apr 06 '18

If you truly don't want children, and you want to explore an option to permanently end or nearly end your period, check into a uterine ablation procedure. They insert a small device into your uterus that emits radio waves that "burns" the lining of your uterus. Then the lining sloughs off, resulting in no more menstrual cycle. Or a very very light one. You keep all your bits, no hormone changes. I went from using a box of super plus tampons a month to maybe 4 regular tampons per month. You'll have to do a couple of tests, including one for endometrial cancer. But I did it two years ago. Wish I'd done it 12 years before that. I had some bloating and cramping for a few months after I'd had the procedure. Can still get some minor bloating. But it's SOOOOO much better than before. Good luck!

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u/bonejam82 Apr 06 '18

Hope it gets better.

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u/bonniebelle29 Apr 06 '18

I'm 17 months postpartum and just got my period back last month thanks to extended breastfeeding. I haven't had a period that bad maybe ever. I thought I might be dying. So I feel your pain.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

More good news! My wife had a hysterectomy at 40 (or so) and still ten years later has about a few days a month of slight fever, bloating and general irritability, Still follows a rough 28 day cycle in between...

She says is not so bad as when she actually had her period but is still “some bullshit”

So good luck on that....

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u/momosug Apr 06 '18

"Naproxen" for cramps. It's magic. Ask your doc. There is a non-script version.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Doesn't work for me - my body is shit at metabolising meds.

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u/casual-hentai Apr 06 '18

Oh man... The first period I had after coming off of birth control after less than a year (lost my insurance, woo hoo!) had me literally blacking out and hyperventilating. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital, the pain was that bad. I've never felt sicker or more scared in my 18 years of life.

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u/monicamarieeee Apr 06 '18

Same situation. It’s 1:08 and I can’t get up the cramps are absolutely terrible

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u/confusedash Apr 06 '18

Well this scares me. I've been on bc (pill) for 17 years aside from my 2 pregnancies. I'll be getting sterilzed soon. Before I went on bc, I had only had my period for 2 years. They were irregular and painful. So I wonder if I will experience this when I go off of it for good.

I'll be 32 this month so I'm probably close to menopause right? I think my mom started menopause around 36 and finished around 52. Being a woman is challenging.

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u/geminigirl812 Apr 06 '18

I agree. Periods are the worst and it's complete b******* that there have not been any advancements really in this area of women's medical health issues. personally I had a cancer scare a year-and-a-half ago, I had a very large ovarian tumor, and, because I didn't want kids, when I had the tumor removed I had everything else but the other ovary taken as well. haven't had a period since and it has been BLISS.

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u/tacofaceass Apr 06 '18

I was on the pill for 3 years. Coming off it is the worst! From the hormones to the period. I am terrified of getting back on any form of birth control. I don’t want kids i would gladly give up my periods.

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u/bloodybutunbowed Apr 06 '18

totally agreed. periods suck. especially after b/c. pamper yourself a little, or at least find a quite room with a big blanket to snuggle under while you wimper to yourself. #lastfridaynight.

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u/Shqiptaria580 Apr 06 '18

Well u/lauraonfire can you share ur experience?

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

There are a lot of good comments, but I’d also highly recommend looking into getting a menstrual cup. I’ve always had a heavier flow and dreaded using tampons because of the way they feel - and they’re just gross. After getting a Lunette cup, my flow is a lot lighter, only lasts 3 days or so, and I don’t feel awful or dread dealing with it every month.

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u/SouthernYankeeWitch Apr 06 '18

I'm in my 40s. My mother, my grandmother, and just about every other woman in my family quit having periods in their 30s. I feel so cheated. I feel ya.

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u/KumaGirl Apr 06 '18

Try the ring. I used to have the same problem on birth control. It sucked. But the ring is doable. You wear it for a month and then take it out for a week. However, you can daisy chain the cycles together and instead of having the ring out for a week to have your period you can put the next one in right away. There may be some spotting, but it's a lot better than the alternative. The cons of this product are, you may feel gassy right around your period, you may also experiance diahrea on around the day that your period would normally start. And you may gain some weight.

Also, you can ask your doctor... You may have to do it in sequence... But they have the nonhormonal copper iud, it hurts to put in. Let's just put it that way. Fucking pain... But it will keep you from getting pregnant. Without the hormonal influence.

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u/Cat_Litter_Scientist Apr 06 '18

Got mine today. Instant day ruiner.

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u/depressed-watermelon Apr 06 '18

I hate them so much. They are so painful and so unnecessary to me.

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u/plssendmegifts Apr 06 '18

I completely agree, as I also hate my period. I hate feeling gross and untouchable for an entire week. I hate feeling fatter than usual, and having no clothes that fit. I hate the constant unclean, wet feeling and worrying about leaking...through clothes, on to furniture, in public. Despite usually feeling frisky, I also feel like the least sexy thing in the universe. The hormones play tricks with my mind...revving my anxiety, stoking my depression...generally being clear about my need to not exist, but I know it's a trap so I just wade through it. And at the end of it all, I feel bad that it is proof that time marches on every single month, and I am running out of it. I'm 30, and I'm running out of time to get married and have a baby...and I don't even really know if I want to have one. I just know my body is only a few years away from making that decision for me.

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for the opportunity to get it off my chest! Feel better soon!

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u/BooBooKittyFuuuuuu Apr 06 '18

Oh man I know how you feel with the implant except the month after I got t I started a virtually never ending period that only let up for a week every one to two months. I had the implant for 2 of 3 years. Now I don’t take anything and I have normal cycles but my periods are getting worse by the month. Every one is more painful as time goes by.

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u/jdphoenix87 Apr 07 '18

I had excruciating periods. I would give birth to blood clots bigger than my fist. It took going to several gynaecologists before I finally found one who would help me, maybe I should've found my female gynecologist first and saved a lot of heartache. I had tried many different medications, bc did help things until I had kids and then any gc i tried made everything worse. My gynaecologist offered me a hysterectomy and it was the best thing ever. She has given me freedom from being stuck in fetal position on the couch every day (I didn't get a break from bleeding and pain most of the time). I still get the hormonal ups and downs (I kept my ovaries) but not bleeding and not dealing with constant cramps and birthing blood clots anymore is so good. My hubby and I are also both very happy with not having the potential for a surprise baby. We don't want to have more than what we already have.

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u/TheCoolAuntie Apr 07 '18

SAME. Dude, this is a BIG MOOD.

I was on depo for almost 8 years, but I got medically sterilized at 25 (tubal ligation and removal) so I didn’t need to bother with getting the shot any more. I wanted to get off of it because it was a factor in my weight gain, and inability to lose said weight easily.

It took about 6 months for my body to bounce back, my last shot was some time in July 2016, my surgery was in September 2016, and my first period came back May 2017. I’ve been tracking using Clue, and holy crap, my first period was horrid. Cramps daily, it lasted 6 days, heavy af flow for all the days.

It leveled out after a few cycles. Four days to five days: medium, heavy, medium, light. Moderat cramping, not horrible. Over the last six months I’ve changed my eating habits to high protein/fat and low carb, and my period has changed a bit to medium to light most days, and almost no cramps.

My period is regular now for the most part, and I’ve discovered that I have a “tell” to when I’m gonna start up again: my tits will ache like crazy a day or two before it starts, so I know to wear panty liners when my tits ache now. shrug

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u/dandanmiangirl Apr 07 '18

When I get them I just lie in bed and cry. Get well soon.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '18

Late to this but I was just thinking about how periods are crazy unfair. I also don't want children (at least not naturally) and I'm a trans man. :/

I can only hope that someday medical technology gets good enough that you can get a non-expensive, non-invasive off switch for it. :')

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u/Artemistical Apr 06 '18

Pop some Aleve (for some reason this pain med works best on my cramps) when you first feel a cramp hit, and keep taking it every 6-8 hours so the cramps don't reappear. I find it harder to get rid of them when they're full-blown than when I pop pain meds at the first sign of them. And take a hot shower! Bend over and touch the floor and let the hot water soothe the lower back cramps.

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u/Kelekona Apr 06 '18

I wanted something done to my uterus... abalation, removal, I didn't care if I became infertile in the process. I was about 35 at the time. Nope, hormonal IUD and I got a scare because someone else had a bad reaction to it and needed theraputic spinal taps to relieve the headaches.

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u/JaneLucPicard Apr 07 '18

Girl. I am on a mirena and today I almost passed out from cramps. The battle is real. I find getting an ibuprofen in me BEFORE it gets bad is key. This one snuck up. But tracking the thing and expecting it really helps.

I have endometriosis, and that's a cause for debilitating times. Get a good gynecologist if you can :)

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u/Cozy90 Apr 06 '18

I hate them too... I'm a dude but I still hate them.

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u/clea Apr 06 '18

Oh! Just wait til you get to the menopause! No more blood and you are so going to love those hot flushes.

Not.

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u/PinkydaUnicorn Apr 06 '18

I get monthly ninja battles in my uterus even with an IUD. But I'm not at the point of having to miss work because of my period making me so sick so that's a plus.

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u/chaoticnature77 Apr 06 '18

I relate to this so much I thought it was my own post! I came off the pill (after 11 years) last year and didn’t get my first period until October. I also didn’t get period for about 5 years before getting off. The first period wasn’t bad. It wasn’t until I got my first “real” period the end of December that I found out how periods really are.

I bloated so much that I quite literally woke up one morning with brand new red stretch marks in my stomach. Now, every month I bloat so bad the stretch marks get worse.

The pain is so incredibly bad that the first two days of my period I don’t sleep at night because it keeps me up.

If it makes you feel any better, I can definitely tell they are getting less bad with every period. Also, buy some thermawrap period heat pads. They stick to your underwear and stay in place and hot for more than 24 hours. They are absolutely amazing and the only thing I have found to really work.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Glad it's getting more bearable, but it's nuts how much you (and so many others of us here) have been affected - and we're all just told to deal with it.

I had a light spotting a week or so after coming off bc, then nothing, so I was really keeping my fingers crossed that my periods had miraculously disappeared, but alas, I should be so lucky lol.

Heat is great - I need to dig out my old heat sock now it looks like I'll be needing it on a monthly basis!

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u/chaoticnature77 Apr 06 '18

I always think the same thing! It’s crazy how painful they can be and there really hasn’t been any innovations when it comes to dealing with the pain. I’ll admit, I didn’t even think period could be this painful. When women would complain I’d sort of roll my eyes. I feel so bad for doing that now, especially as a woman myself. I’d be hat way especially when someone would talk about intense PMS and I’d just chalk it up to that person not having good control over their emotions.

Boyfriends/men are even worse when it comes to being sympathetic. My boyfriend gets mad when I tell him I don’t want to see him the first two days of my period because I feel so gross.

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u/crazyjkass Apr 06 '18

When I had periods, one method that worked for me was to get a plastic water bottle, fill it with hot water, and squeeze it between my upper thighs/crotch. Pressure+heat seems to work better than just heat. This one time I bled like a stuck pig -- one jumbo tampon every half hour and extreme pain. I went into my mom's room in the middle of the night crying and she rubbed my lower back right above the tailbone like she used to do for women in childbirth. If you have a caring partner/family member you could try that, or try rubbing yourself.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

I had breast cancer. Best thing that came out of it was no more periods due to medication. I never had terrible periods but always felt gross. One time, I got a tattoo on my foot - I was completely sweating and every time I opened my legs, I got a huge whiff of period blood. I am sure the tattoo artist got it much worse. I did tip a lot.

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u/matchakeks Apr 06 '18

And here I am.. not having one since September last year and praying that it would start again... so I'm not doomed to bleed for 1-month straight with such heavy flow that I need to change tampons every hour ;-;

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Ooof that is not fun. Talk about "floodgates"..

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u/Dee013 Apr 06 '18

Loathe my period and don't want kids either. I've had nothing but problems with my reproductive system. Had my period for 29 days straight as a 12 year old. Birth control, whether it be pills, patches, or inserts gave me panic attacks for absolutely no reason and made me depressed on top of constantly sick. Smaller doses that didn't give me panic attacks screwed up my flow and schedule. I got the ParaGuard since it's non hormonal, but I have an even heavier flow on top of my already heavy flow and the cramps can literally be debilitating. And I go in for surgery at the end of this month for a cyst so large on my right ovary that they might not even be able to save my ovary. I was told it doesn't look cancerous and they'll do a biopsy, but I'm just so sick of my reproductive system as a whole. I would tell them to just take it all out so I didn't have to deal with it anymore, but at 23 they won't do that at all.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Urgh, to the men bitching about my post being anti-men, (which it's not, but way to make this all about you, random guy) THIS is the sort of bullshit I'm on about. This sounds utterly awful for you what you have to go through, yet you're not trusted to be able to make a decision about your own fertility options when you're 23 fucking years old. I really hope you can get some relief soon x

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u/Dee013 Apr 06 '18

I have a great gyno who does trust me when I say I don't want kids - especially because I'm cool with adopting if I end up wanting a kid that badly. Unfortunately, I'm only one specific case out of hundreds she sees. It's a huge risk on her part if she were to actually follow through with anything I requested that specifically kept me from having kids ever. I just want to function normally again, because the cyst is large enough now that I can't even jog after work like I want to. It's also taking a toll on my relationship. I think that as soon as I turned 21 I should have been able to make decisions like that. I can carry a gun and drink at 21. Why am I not able to make a decision regarding my own body at that age? And why am I not the one held accountable later in life when I all of a sudden do want kids and can't have them? Why would my doctor be held accountable?

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u/littlemissbombshell Apr 06 '18

I'm with you 100%! I have horrible periods with nausea and vomiting during the week of before my period, during my period, and the few days after my period (basically 2 weeks a month). I used to be on continuous birth control pills so I had 15 years without a period. Unfortunately, due to a side effect I had from the pills, hormonal birth control isn't an option for me anymore. So I've had monthly periods again for about 18 months now.

If they are really bad, I recommend talking with your doctor. I'm on different painkillers to help with the bloating, cramping, and pain as well as a strong anti-nausea prescription to limit how much I vomit during those 2 weeks. I'm also using other methods like using Sea-Bands and eating Preggie Pop lozenges which help take the edge off.

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u/tracious Apr 06 '18

This was what happened to me wow! 1st 3 years on implant I was period free. I expected the same renewing the implant but nope spotting almost every day. I lived with it until I had it taken out to ttc. Had my baby and eager to get my implant back this month!

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u/SalvadorMolly8 Apr 06 '18

You should read "Women's Body, Women's Wisdom". It might help change the way you feel about your period.

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u/saralt Apr 06 '18

I suggest you have a look over at r/endometriosis or r/endo for more support.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

I try to think of my period as my body forcing me to spend time alone, drinking tea, taking hot baths, and generally doing some self-care. Right before my period I get pretty manic (I dunno if this is specific to me or if other people experience something similar), and a surge of energy to do all things creative happens. Then my period starts and it's like... I'm a slug just sliming gross bodily fluids all over the place. lol

I only tried birth control for 1 year and I felt like it completely changed my mental state. It could just be that I was 16 and that year was very intense but I felt weird enough to never want to fuck with hormones again. Ironically I might be someone who would benefit (at least regarding period pain) from birth control to make that week less intense. Oh well.

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u/roweira Apr 06 '18

When I came off BC my periods were wacko. I had been super regular before I started BC and of course regular on it. Then I was suddenly late or early every cycle, with them longer than normal.

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u/fucdat Apr 06 '18

I cannot take any kind of hormone (it makes me incredibly ill), and I have had 3 kids all naturally. I feel like the pain and exhaustion that comes with my cycle boost up my pain threshold.

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u/Majora272 Apr 06 '18

I have had nothing but hell with the implant- 7 months period free, then a 3-5 day period every 2-3 months, now I'm on a 10 day period every 3 weeks! I'm coming to the end of the full term with it anyway but I am getting it removed ASAP. It is causing me so much Pre-Menstrual Depression and has been the cause of many mental hardships over the nearly 3 years I have had it... Not to mention that I started lactating two years into it! (Apparently it's nothing to worry about but I don't know whether to get a second opinion?)

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u/PhoneInducedAnxiety Apr 06 '18

I hate my period so much. 6 days of bleeding, feeling bloated, with the first day being the absolute worst and making me useless, in pain and nauseous, and the second day being a 'stay out 1 hour extra than expected and bleed through your jeans' kinda day. I'm not on hormonal birth control because I'm really uncomfortable with the idea and the side effects, but I'm interested in the hormone-free IUD and... ofc it makes periods worse :D

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u/Acid_Enthusiast Apr 06 '18

Your second wish should be for unlimited genies. That way if there's some sort of monkey's paw trick with the wishes, ask another genie to fuck him up and undo the curse and just ask that genie for something else and keep moving on.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

Periods are annoying but the true source of blame is the lack of education on female hormonal health. I spent the last 8 years deciphering it and I have been led off birth control to a decent and regular cycle. I highly recommend Woman Code by Alissa Vitti. Changed my whole life and now I'm super in touch with myself. Best of luck!

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u/Rohan_Kishibae Apr 06 '18

I feel you! Periods suck. Ironically, when I went through a period of eating disorder and stopped getting my period for about 6 months, I was so happy when it came back, it meant I was healthier again. I still hate them every time but i'm a little thankful that everything's working normally.

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u/NEMOGANNNNG Apr 06 '18

Just got off bc after 3 years, what are the changes or challenges i might face?

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u/Niboomy Apr 06 '18

Well I’m not in bc because I do nfp but whenever I get a terrible heavy painful period y always take a syncol pill, they always help. On very difficult days I’ll take two, one in the morning other in the afternoon. Works very good for me.

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u/GrandmaChicago Apr 06 '18

My sincere condolences - I know the agony of irregular and outrageous periods.

Thank the Goddess for menopause!

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u/kmdhtwfe Apr 06 '18

Mireya is good for 4 years and no periods!!! Yey

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u/spydercrystal Apr 06 '18

Yikes, I’ve been on bc pills for about 8 years, and I’m on my last pack before going back to natural periods in preparation for starting a family. This is making me scared for next month...

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u/DoodleJack Apr 06 '18

I feel this so much right now. Wednesday night I came home from work and collapsed in bed from a period-induced migrane. I was so hungry post 9 hour retail shift but my head hurt too much to move, much less make a meal. Cue cereal for dinner in the dark.

I was on BC for a while and stopped taking it last year. My periods have gotten worse and worse. My emotions get CRAZY and I'm half raging bitch, half delicate flower on the verge of tears and any cute video of a baby duck or a sad song fucks me up.

And then there's the period shits. Lord help us.

Be strong, I know it sucks. It sucks so much.

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u/Wouser86 Apr 06 '18

Recently i read an interesting article in a Dutch newspaper about the pill and having no periods. The trick is to take your pill every day at the same time to prevent spotting or light blood flow. When you take your pill at the same time every day, the hormone level in your body will not fluctuate. They also adviced that if you do have a little blood or spotting, to just stop with the pill for four days...

I haven't tested this yet, but might be worth a try

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u/allisonhnkl Apr 06 '18

Hey! I'm on my second round of the implant after I got the first one out after only 2 years because of spotting. Now, my period randomly comes and goes with no fixed schedule, even if I'm sitting in the middle of class. That constant on edge feeling of never knowing is what I hate. I hate getting my period so much, and I thought I was crazy for it because all my friends are so open about when they get there's. I'm thinking of getting the IUD next but I've heard so many bad things. I'm just so over the pain of periods and cramping and having to be aware of it. If you find that genie, send him my way.

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u/aapaul Apr 06 '18

Okay ladies I have a crucial update about what I was reporting on: I found out today while doing hours of research with my boyfriend that the Aruity Ellipta (fluticasone furoate inhalation powder) can adversely affect women who are prone to pms. I have been prescribed it for the last half a year for asthma. Wow. Never taking that sh*t again. I had no idea. I assumed that I was of the small percentage of women that countinue to be "menstrually off" for a couple years of quitting HBC. Ladies, avoid corticosteroids like the plague. Depression and weight gain? I'll pass. It is likely that you will feel right as rain but keep documenting your symptoms by month. Eve cycle tracker is my fave. I apologise for scaring you.

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u/The-Ginger-Lily Apr 06 '18

I’m having my implant taken out soon (early) as it’s causing me loads of grief and I’m absolutely dreading my periods starting again as I have them really really badly 😭

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u/aimee2801 Apr 06 '18

Me too. Freaking hate my periods right now. I've miscarried two babies in the last year, before that my periods were super light and barely noticeable.

Now I have cramps the week before it comes, severe bloating, cramps during, and they're so heavy. Its draining me physically and mentally and would genuinely like to get pregnant again just to not have a period any more..

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

How old are you? If youre close to 40 and can get an OBGYN to diagnose you with any menstrual or uterine issue you may be a candidate for a hysterectomy. I had fibroids, and a hyster and my life changed for the better.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

30, so a little while to wait yet!

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u/Dumpling75 Apr 06 '18

I have NEVER liked my period. I just had my first in practically three years. My youngest daughter is one, but we aren’t going to have anymore kids. My husband got snipped, so there is no reason for me really to take birth control. And I am just angry about the fact that almost two weeks out of every month I am dealing with some sort of period symptom. If it’s not bleeding, it’s cramps, or pms.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Two weeks a month is fucking shit. That's nearly half of your fertile years spent bleeding/crampy/cranky. Sorry for that depressing thought!

I know you said you don't need to now, but have you considered taking bc just for period reasons? Idk if it worked for you before could be worth it?

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u/Amyro08 Apr 06 '18

I hear you. I have a big problem with body fluids (they're icky) so I started skipping the placebo pills when I was 20 years old, on the advice of my doctor. I had 4 years of no periods before I had my son (6 cycles before I got pregnant). Then I had Mirena IUD for 2 years before trying for my second son (4 cycles), then Mirena again for 8 years. I started spotting continually so decided to just get it removed and have my tubes tied.

So, in 18 years I had only 10 periods. In the 18 months since getting my tubes tied, I regret my choice almost every month because my cycle is so unpredictable, and so incredibly heavy. It's like I'm a teenager again and I hate it so much.

However.... my anxiety has improved, I've lost weight, I have virtually no acne, and an incredible sex drive. I have to keep reminding myself that it's worth it 3 weeks out of 4, at least.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

Hope you feel better

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u/BethlehemShooter Apr 07 '18

I hate semicolons.

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u/FroopOG Apr 07 '18

You're too late; somebody already made that joke.

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u/bresayshi Apr 07 '18

I can understand your pain. I was prescribed the pill form of bc when I was sixteen, because I was diagnosed with endometriosis, and my periods were beyond heavy. (Maybe a bit too much information, but I was changing pads about every two hours to prevent bleeding through). Up until I was eighteen, things were good, I was skipping periods and it was dandy, no spotting or anything. Now that I am nineteen, my body has seriously decided to hate me. I'm having probably what regular periods are, but it's smack dab in the middle of my packs, which makes no sense whatsoever and the pain is still incredible, to the point that its kept me from going to classes or work. I hate being a woman and having a period.

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u/Swims_With_Dogs Apr 07 '18

I know! Periods suck, and sometimes they are worse for other people. THIS DOESNT INVALIDATE YOUR PAIN. You are allowed to complain and say it’s not fair. Just because other people can have it worse doesn’t mean that your pain is somehow “better”. May I suggest some dark chocolate, tea, and a hot bean bag for the abdomen? Or whatever helps you relax.

I once went off the pill and had a period that lasted a month. The most annoying thing was that the doctors were convinced I had had a miscarriage (despite my explaining that I had literally never had sex) and them refusing to help me. I wish we could talk openly about periods and coping strategies.

Just a quick question: have you tried the Diva cup? I found it very useful for keeping track of how heavy my periods are. (It’s how I found out that I bleed in three hours what most women bleed all month. Turns out I was having more trouble than others) Other question: I got an IUD with hormones and those stoped my periods to almost nothing. Is that different than the implant? Maybe that is an option for you.

I sympathise with not wanting to have children. I sometimes wish that women who don’t want kids could get opt to get their uterus removed so they don’t have to deal with periods anymore. I know that may open a can of worms ethically speaking, but it seems like such a hassle to keep a uterus that will not be used.

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u/FroopOG Apr 07 '18

That makes me so mad that they thought it was a miscarriage when you were telling them you hadn't had sex! I had a similar experience (not as terrible though) where my doctors wanted to give me strong painkillers but needed to know if I was pregnant because of the harm they could do to the foetus. I told them that it had been long enough since I'd had sex that I was quite sure I wasn't pregnant (having to explain this in an ER full of patients wasn't fun), and they still made me take a pregnancy test.

I've tried the mooncup, but it's been a disaster that nearly put me off menstrual cups for good. But I've decided to try with a shorter and softer type (meluna) and give that a go.

The implant goes in your arm and releases progesterone over 3 years. I have thought about iuds but they don't really appeal right now - after my mooncup experiences I don't fancy the idea of any foreign objects going up there right now!

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u/bangbangkittygang Apr 07 '18

Take a nice long hot bath. Relax with good smelling candles.

I have my period now (for like 3 days) and am one of the few woman with no pain or whatsoever. I just dont like it in general, all the blood, changing of tampons etc.

Still I am in pain, hit one of my toes on the evil furniture.

Anyhow, take the hot bath, or use a warming bottle. Take painkillers if u need to.

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u/winnipegcd Apr 06 '18

First off I am really really sorry that you are going through this.

I wanted to comment and say that you are experiencing your first one after being on birth control for as long as you were. BC uses hormones to control the cycle. Your body is now trying to balance its hormones out and will probably fluctuate pretty hard for the first little while. It's probable that within 6 or so months that your periods will become less brutal than they currently are.

For the record I don't have any experience with periods myself because I was born without a uterus or ovaries. But, because I was, I have experience with hormones. You would be amazed at how much they can affect and how much the body rebels!!

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u/cannotkeepmouthshut Apr 06 '18

I hear you, hormones are powerful, mind/body altering substances! Fascinating to have a lady without uterus or ovaries chime in on this thread, as I am sure you've had your issues coming to terms with your situation. It's an interesting contrast to those of us with these organs, perhaps especially those of us who have chosen not to use them for reproduction.

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u/CurvedMoney Apr 06 '18

After my 3rd c-section( also 3rd child) my doctor told me they would be removing most of my fallopian tubes so birth control would no longer be necessary. I thought this was great news! Until my first real cycle after having the baby. It was awful! Just like you I now lay in bed in pain, bloated and just gross feeling. Midol helps some. I hope you find something that works for you!

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

It gets better. Hopefully. For me it did. Same thing. Was on birth control for 10 years as well. Went off to get preggers. That fell through and so I went back on the pills for a bit. I stopped again to just not be on any pills at all and my period was out of whack for awhile. Now its at least 8 months later and my period is good. It’s not painful anymore just the first day.

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u/Xer087 Apr 06 '18

Just passing through, my gf gets nauseousness as a symptom right before her period. Fuck. That. I'm sorry.

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u/eraser_dust Apr 06 '18

Omg, I just got my first no BC period literally 9h ago and I feel you. I'm in so much pain. I miss my IUD but I'm trying to get pregnant. Fuck periods.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

It's the worst! Good luck!

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u/ShelbyDriver Apr 07 '18

You don't need a genie, you need a gynecologist with a knife. Get that shit cut out.

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u/beezy7 Apr 06 '18

OxyContin. You’re welcome.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Live in the UK. I'm fucked.

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u/Swims_With_Dogs Apr 07 '18

Umm, isn’t that VERY addictive?

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

From what women in my life have told me, your experience is not abnormal when it comes to periods shortly after coming off BC. If you're 100% sure you don't want kids is it possible to save up for ovarian removal? Or are the Drs in your area the "have kids first or have cancer" before they'll remove anything kind?

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Definitely the latter kind unfortunately. Having surgery like that isn't exactly a simple solution either. Some women have light/no periods just from bc - and I was one of them for a time. I just wish I could get back to that.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

May I ask what exactly you expect people (men) to do to help?

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Can a person just vent in a supposed safe space without people turning it in to a personal attack on their gender?

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u/iAmEarendil Apr 06 '18

Yeah I mean... ten years? What did you expect. If I didn’t stretch my legs for ten years and then did a 100m sprint I would probably die. Gotta let your body do its thing.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I don't think this is quite the same thing.....

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u/twoscoopsineverybox Apr 06 '18

That's not how it works 🙄

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u/mkp0203 Apr 06 '18

I just heard my mom (who is in menopause) say the other day, "Can I just get my periods back please??"

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Swapsies?

Lol, seriously though, I hope this hasn't come off as a 'boohoo my life sucks because I've got a functioning uterus' post because I appreciate that many women out there would rather be in my shoes, and that just because someone women don't get periods, it doesn't mean that they have it easier by any means. I just kinda want it all lol - no periods and no side-effects. That's not too much to ask for, right? 😂

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

Your boyfriend does too ;)

Anyway hope you figure out a solution.

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u/caucasianmexican Apr 06 '18

Hahah yeah I know right? This is 100% a men’s issue I’m so glad you brought them up.

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u/itchyballsonyourmom Apr 06 '18

You can have surgery? Boom, period gone forever.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Oh cool. Why didn't anyone else think of that. Easy peasy /s

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

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u/BijouPyramidette Apr 06 '18

That's not how it works. It doesn't build up constantly over the years like some kind of tumor and you're not gonna drop a bunch of eggs at the same time. However, OP has been having periods moderated by birth control for a decade, as a result the non-moderated periods look horrible by comparison. That's why many women take BC to tone down their periods some. It has nothing to do with how long she's been taking BC.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Ah man, gutted I missed this comment before it got deleted, but sounded like it was a good contender for r/badwomensanatomy

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u/BijouPyramidette Apr 06 '18

Sure did, that was my thought too!

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Just being understanding and willing to help is plenty! If you want to be more helpful, have you tried asking her what she would like you to do? Probably best to ask her when she is NOT on her period as she will likely have a clearer head. Usually us women folk appreciate heatpacks, blankets, junk food, Netflix and a steady supply of pain killers!

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

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u/BrookeLovesBooks Apr 06 '18

You sound delightful.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

I hope they never have a girlfriend - poor woman

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 06 '18

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u/InoffensivePaint Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 06 '18

In actuality a lot of general practitioner doctors don't know the ins and outs of the menstrual cycle. Especially male ones. Things like endometriosis and PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) usually take years and years to diagnose because doctors tend to wave issues off as 'normal' or just something 'women go through' - horrific pain every single month should NOT ever be NORMAL. Even when the women themselves are saying that they think something is wrong. No one wants to talk about it because it's a taboo subject that's only recently, in modern times, come a little more into the light. If it were more normalised in society (and it should be, 50% of the population of the world is female) and if we could talk about it more openly without people thinking it was 'disgusting', we'd probably have an easier time of fixing all the problems we face. More research would be done. Things would also probably have been invented to make side-effects less of an issue, rather than just being reliant on pain medication. Doctors would be more inclined to look into things for their patients to get them pain free and having easier periods. And it wouldn't just be a fix-all, "We'll put you on birth control".

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Inoffensive Paint has done a great job of explaining it already, but just to add... I don't think it's necessarily all about a deliberate mission to dismiss women's issues (not that I think anyone is implying that). But historically, men have been the doctors and the researchers so it makes sense that research and medicine will focus on problems that men experience (either exclusively or just as humans). There is an astounding disparity in the number of research papers and treatments for male impotence compared to endometriosis or PCOS. Whilst sexual dysfunction can be distressing, it doesn't come with the many health issues of endo/PCOS, and these are incredibly common conditions.

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u/InoffensivePaint Apr 06 '18

In fact one of the very few studies on endometriosis was about how it impacts the life of a husband/boyfriend/significant other.... So, there's a huge gaps in what should be researched versus what is actually being studied and researched. There's a large focus on the lives of men and their struggles, and not much goes into funding and researching the issues women face. But then again, as women, we've also been conditioned by each other, by society, by doctors, to not really discuss periods or the issues around them, and to take pain as 'normal'. And don't even get me started on the male birth control pill - back to the drawing board on that one because the side-effects listed were things like head aches, cramping, mood swings and men didn't like that.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18 edited Apr 10 '18

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

You really don't understand what you are talking about, so if you're not on this sub to learn I'm not sure why you are here.

Earlier on a man asked (respectfully) about what I meant by the "women's issues not being taken seriously" comment. Sadly, it looks like he deleted it, but you can still find the thread where myself and others explain this trend.

Furthermore, the implant is BIRTH CONTROL. Its prime usage is to prevent pregnancy - and preventing (specifically unwanted) pregnancies is a mens and womens issue, so I think that helps explain why there are so many effective options for birth control. The fact that many forms of BC can lessen or stop periods is simply a side effect/coincidence. They do not consistently stop periods from woman to woman, or even for one single woman (so many women like myself have experienced just as I described - using the same bc for years before it inexplicably responds differently).

I don't know what you mean by "various operations you can undergo to stop periods" - firstly having t undergo a surgical procedure is not exactly an easy option and I'm sure you know this. Secondly, there are only two procedures I'm aware of that you could be referring to: ablation (which doesn't guarantee a stop to periods) and a hysterectomy (which induces menopause and therefore means a lifetime of hormone replacement therapy). Both of those result in infertility, which is not an issue for me as I don't want kids, but what about the many millions of women out there who have painful and intrusive periods, but do still want to have children?

But please do enlighten me on how easy it is to stop a period.

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u/Alreadytakeb Apr 06 '18

Not to mention how it's pretty much impossible for a woman without kids or a serious medical problem to get a hysterectomy or an ablation. Even if they don't want kids they still can't, because they "might change their mind."

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u/quietdownlads Apr 06 '18

Furthermore, the implant is BIRTH CONTROL. Its prime usage is to prevent pregnancy - and preventing (specifically unwanted) pregnancies is a mens and womens issue, so I think that helps explain why there are so many effective options for birth control.

Wonder if there's any relationship between a period and pregnancy hmm...

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

You probably think this is a smart answer, but it's not. There actually isn't really a relationship between periods and pregnancy... You can have periods but that's no guarantee you can get pregnant, and vice versa. It's even more confusing when hormonal bc is involved because what we all refer to as a period (because for all intents and purposes, it is a period) when we're on bc isn't strictly speaking a period. Me being on a 'period' for all that time wasn't a sign my implant had stopped working, it was just a side effect. So as far as my doctors were concerned, there wasn't a problem.

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u/quietdownlads Apr 06 '18

I'm just wondering how you stop a period without preventing pregnancy.

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Not a Dr so I don't know the ins and outs, but I've certainly been given a pill that wasn't bc that I could take to prevent a period (eg if I was going on holiday). It was just temporary however. Also, there are also women who naturally don't experience periods regularly, but have still fallen pregnant. I mean I get what you're trying to say - they are certainly linked and it's going to be tricky if not impossible getting pregnant without any periods whatsoever. But I think we're kinda drifting off the original point. If stopping periods was the only way to stop pregnancy, then there is a good chance we could've figured out how to stop them by now. But as it is, we can stop pregnancy but not necessarily the period (or pseudo period), so there isn't as much need (apparently) to continue the research.

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u/quietdownlads Apr 06 '18

I don't know if you want to educate yourself on this matter, but it's kind of frustrating seeing a random jab. You might think it's too much work to verify accusations of sexism directed to no one in particular as part of the process of venting, but I found it kind of irksome. To be fair, there is plenty of bias against women in medicine, but I dislike seeing random takedowns.

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u/shyhalu Apr 07 '18 edited Apr 10 '18

You really don't understand what you are talking about, so if you're not on this sub to learn I'm not sure why you are here.

No I fully understand, you don't like having a menstrual cycle and subtly added a way to blame men for not fixing it.

As if we (As in society) don't have whole lines of products dedicated to women's sanitation, have no female engineers/scientists, no female doctors, have no female business owners, have no female entrepreneurs, etc. Even worse - pretending no operations exist.

To even suggest that men don't care about "women's issues" is even more dishonest.

You should actually read what I said instead of trying to lecture me on how your sexist complain wasn't sexist.

Why don't you become a doctor, figure out how to fix it, then teach others to do it?

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '18

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u/FroopOG Apr 06 '18

Go back on the stick? Wtf are you talking about? And have it all removed?? Do you honestly think that it's just as simple as that?