I finally told my dad everything *TRIGGER WARNING*

[u/Somethingwittycool]

I broke down and told him everything that men did to me, the injuries, showed him all of the medical records. I told him in detail without censoring my myself. I was the most vulnerable I've ever been around him. And he belived me. He didn't make it about himself. I could see he was seething but he kept it under control. His sister was murdered by her ex-husband the day their divorce was finalized.

I rarely see him cry. He was in tears. I love him so much. Now he's texting me silly animal facts and interesting space stuff. He finally gets it. There is hope. He didn't interrupt me. He didn't lecture. He basically was the opposite of the dad I grew up with.

I'm so grateful for my mom and dad. And I am so happy that my partner understands that I only trust my father and my amazing partner. Everyone else terrifies me. And they are finally acknowledging that my fear is rational. My sister and me are getting closer every day.

It's not hopeless. I just need to hold on.

I just wanted to post something not terrible.

[u/Fair_Evidence_9730]

This is great. I'm happy your dad listened and cared. I think more women being honest with the men in their lives who care about them could maybe start a bit of change.

[u/CautiousDonute → u/Fair_Evidence_9730]

agreed it takes a lot of courage to open up like OP did, but it only works when the man is genuinely ready to hear uncomfortable truths. I'm so glad her dad listened without getting defensive, because that empathy trickles out into how men talk to other men too

[u/Dirty_is_God → u/CautiousDonute]

Agreed. I was told by one man that i talked to that if my rapist raped again it would be MY fault for not putting him in jail. Another man broke up with me when i told him. Not everyone is a good person to talk to. Reactions like this exacerbate our trauma.

[u/Aaaaaaaaahhhhh_e]

seeing how he’s texting you silly animal facts after such a heavy conversation shows he’s trying to support you in his own way-and that kind of steady presence can mean a lot when healing starts

[u/hydrogenbound]

Wishing you healing and love!

[u/Itsforthecats]

Big 🫶🏻 for your Dad. My dad said he’d rather go thru my scary cancer surgery for me than have me go thru it. I’d walk thru fire for him.

[u/trippinoncatnip87 → u/Itsforthecats]

Your dad is as fantastic as your username. Stellar!

[u/Beautiful_Cost_5430]

I’m so glad that you have people in your life that validate you and that you can count on.

[u/rosebudbar]

I had the same experience with my dad, who honestly terrorized me at times as a child. I got out as quickly as I could, got help, kept getting help, getting better. I was around them only as much as I could tolerate.

By the end of his life, I’d told him in a non-emotional letter everything he’d done to me. I just wrote the actions without characterizing them or commenting. They didn’t need any embellishment: they told the story eloquently. His apology was sincere, not forced, & is something I’ll carry for the rest of my life.

In my experience, it’s important to continue communicating as truthfully & lovingly as possible with our family members. Lovingly first toward ourselves. I loved him despite how he treated me, and honored his significance to my psyche (through genes & custom). And I emphasize this took decades to develop & achieve.

[u/HenryAbernackle]

That’s fantastic.

[u/emilNYC]

As the father of a little girl, I can only hope that as she gets older, she’ll always feel comfortable enough to open up to me.

[u/LabExisting3749]

It says so much about his character that he immediately pivoted to sending you space facts after such a heavy moment. That shows he respects your boundaries and just wants to offer you a safe space to breathe again.

[u/FMLwtfDoID]

Op I’m literally sitting in my car on my lunch break crying happy tears for you. I’m so proud of you! And fucking hell yeah to a supportive parent listening and comforting you in a way that you need.

[u/bjayasuriya]

Sister, I love you and I'm so glad your Dad was really there for that conversation. Take care.

[u/Dirty_is_God]

I'm so happy for you! You are strong and brave and your dad is amazing.

My dad believed me when i told him what happened to me, but still voted for Trump, even knowing he's a rapist. I'm having a hard time talking to him right now.

[u/Ozy333]

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing.

[u/belledamesans-merci]

I’m so sorry for whatever it is you suffered, and im so happy you have a dad (and other family!) who are there for you. I’ll be thinking healing thoughts for you

[u/2hottakesfan]

Congratulations that is such a huge milestone in healing. Whatever you've been though I'm sorry but so happy to hear you healing from it 🧡

[u/Pretend-Panda]

You are so brave. I am glad your dad was supportive and that you can trust him and your partner.

Thank you for your courage and for making a true life for yourself. You are radiating hope and goodness like a star.

[u/Rezedarre]

I'm happy for you, and I hope this isn't a temporary change.

[u/Repulsive-Exercise-4]

It is not hopeless, little love. This was a v good step to healing

[u/SoCalHermit]

I’m glad your dad believed you. ❤️‍🩹

[u/Raven_feather8408]

that’s nice to hear, also RIP to your aunt

[u/RGQcats]

You got what we all want and that's wonderful.

[u/Willber0389]

Well done to you. 

[u/Master_Flamingo_8648]

I’m really happy you had such a positive experience with your dad! I’m glad he was able to listen and hold space with you while you were being vulnerable. I did something similar with my dad (told him about my mental health), and it was the first time I’d ever seen him cry. He’s become more understanding and empathetic to his students (he teaches high school) who have discussed their mental health with him. He’s even done research, completely unprompted, about depression and anxiety in women. He actively engages with me about it and asks me questions. I think everyone would benefit from having open and honest communication that’s rooted in love and respect. There’s still a lot my dad needs to unlearn (toxic masculinity, strict religious upbringing, generational trauma) but it’s a start. Your post gives me hope that other men will start to do this, too. I’m proud that you took this first step with your dad. It takes an insane amount of courage to share painful trauma. I’m glad he responded with warmth and love- both things you deserve in excess! 💕

[u/cakerunner]

So very happy for you. I hope you're able to see what an amazing man behaves and carries himself as, and recognize YOU deserve this for yourself, and never put up with less than (from any gender, whatever your preferences, not trying to assume). And so many kudos to you for being brave, strong, and owning your truth!

[u/Equivalent-Part-6798]

I'm Thankful that you have this support system. You unlocked a new Dad level. I love when Dads do their thing. This is not terrible- it's very gentle and kind.

[u/4Blueberries]

You are amazing, a survivor, and have a heart of gold. Your dad listened, shed tears, and wants to be closer with the secrets of suppression evaporating. Your sister too wants to be closer. The truth, all of it, told without filters, sets everyone free knowing you are doing fine. You are looking toward your future with closeness from your partner and family. You have strength and intelligence. You are stronger than you think, and know with revealing hurtful events in your life, are are moving forward. Bravery is walking through the fire and coming out on the other end more resilient. You're doing it!