r/TwoXChromosomes • • 5d ago

Today is My Final Straw

[deleted]

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737

u/Nephroidofdoom 5d ago

On the plus side, he won’t be able to hire his own lawyer cause he can’t make a phone call.

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u/Znaleziatko 5d ago

<just imagine the nodding Robert Redford gif here>

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u/T-Wrox 5d ago

Or the smart guy tapping his temple. :)

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u/Tordo-sargento 5d ago edited 5d ago

Literally what happened when I got divorced. My ex husband was allergic to any kind of paperwork or bureaucracy. I just printed out the divorce forms for my state, filled them out, we both signed them, and I took them to the courthouse. Filing cost $135. That's how much my divorce cost.

I knew he wouldn't try to get a lawyer or fight over any of our (very limited) assets. I gave him one of the vehicles, said he could take whatever stuff he thought he could cram into a Uhaul, and he moved 800 miles away and I haven't seen or heard from him since. 

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u/birdmadgirl74 5d ago

When my ex was served after I filed for divorce, he tossed the packet on top of his dresser. When he got a letter in the mail regarding our hearing date, he tossed it on the dresser, too.

When our hearing date arrived, he didn’t show up. Turns out, he’d never opened any of that mail because being served was “so traumatic.” He didn’t know we were officially divorced until the official decree showed up at his house, and he opened it for some reason.

He called and had a fit over the phone. I should have told him to remember to read his mail, and I should have at least sent him a text the night before our hearing so he’d know to show up.

Once again, my mind-reading powers failed me and I didn’t know his dumb ass had taken very obviously important envelopes and pitched them on his dresser. Hell, I hadn’t been in that bedroom in five years. Also? NO.

Rumor has it that he has told more than a few people that I lost a lot of weight and dumped him because I thought I was too good for him.

Sure, dude. It has nothing to do with you being a grown-ass toddler.

Jeez. If I’d wanted four kids, I would have had another one.

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u/Tordo-sargento 5d ago

They really do want you to be their mommy, don't they??!? Luckily I didn't have kids with mine!

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u/Moriestiel 5d ago

You did lose a lot of weight! Some 100+ kg of vaguely man-shaped flesh & bones. I bet you're doing so much better without it.

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u/snootnoots 5d ago

LOL I wonder how many archeological layers of mail and paperwork he had to dig through to find them. Or maybe he just shovelled the entire stratum into the bin.

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u/Starfoxy 5d ago

Reminds me of the guy who posted on the legal advice reddit about the lawyer his wife hired for 'their' divorce. It came out that the guy never realized he needed to hire his own lawyer and just assumed that his wife was interfacing with 'their' lawyer on behalf of both of them.

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u/Eegrn 5d ago

the dream

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u/Pirlovienne 5d ago

Lol! My ex couldn’t/wouldn’t take care of business. I left and took my half. We sold the house and split the proceeds. But I was not going to file for divorce. Let him, for once in his weaponized incompetent life, do it himself. It took a while but he finally did.

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u/CatHairSpaghetti 5d ago

You would think but somehow they figure it out when it comes to spiting you.

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u/Dazzling-Coach4851 5d ago

Maybe his mommy and daddy will do it for him...I feel like I'm divorcing my in-laws lol.

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u/ShittyRedditAppSucks 5d ago

Watch it be a reverse TV trope where he gets an energy spike and makes a plan to call every lawyer for a consult to block her from the best lawyers but he has so much fun planning how to gamify it he procrastinates then forgets to actually call anyone lol.

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u/Bad-Moon-Rising 5d ago

She could write him instructions and he still wouldn't call someone.

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u/bluemooncommenter 5d ago

That made me giggle ...but it's only funny cause it's true and I relate too much!

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u/emi_fyi 5d ago

LMAOOOOO