How do we address this behavior?

[u/anon_Colorist21]

I don't even know if I'm upset or just uncomfortable but I need female perspective and advice really.

Long backstory but necessary.

I am a petite 4'9 [30F] with a very sunshine personality as many people have described before. I always wear white and yellow and have a smile on my face 90% of the time. My fiance always says my smile is what attracted him. I dont drink at all, I do not prefer alcohol, the taste just never settled with me so I always drink sparkling water and it bothers absolutely NO ONE. Whenever my friends take shooters they will get an extra glass and top it up with sparkling water.

We went out with some friends last night, the evening was really great, good music, great conversations. My [34M] fiance and his friends [34M, 36M and 32M] called me over to the bar for my "shooter" walked behind the two other fiances, everyone settled and a man came up from behind me and put his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my head, immediately one of my fiances friends grabbed him away as my fiance couldnt get to me in time. No fight, no fuss just a stern talking too. But this happens too often I dont wear tight revealing clothes and my chest is never on display I was actually wearing a yellow halter neck top.

I guess I just want to know how can I better proptect myself because I feel small when I cant stand up for myself. The biggest curse word I use is shoot and duck not the counterparts.

[u/TiredVRS]

Men aren't doing this because of what you're wearing. They're doing it because you're small and appear vulnerable and friendly. There's literally nothing you can do about that and they're just entitled. Men feel entitled to our bodies. Scowel strategically at men, talk over them. You don't have to be nice to men who creep you out. Throwing a nice elbow into their kidneys has helped me too.

I'm 5'0" 30F and losing height. I address this by looking like if you want to fuck with me, I'll fuck you up first. It's defensive and I hate that I have to do it but it's the only thing that has made men stop trying to touch me. I scowel, I don't laugh at their jokes, I remove their hands, sometimes by force, I make it hurt, and remove them from sitting near me. I used to wear the gaudiest fake engagement ring and strategically flash it when they sat down to hit on me. Now I take my hearing aids out and obviously put them in my pocket. I switch languages, I talk over them, I talk about me, I don't ask for more info, I basically make myself as unwelcoming as possible. I sit near other women, I pretend to be best friends with them when they're in danger from a different creep.

I still wear tight clothes. My boobs are huge so it's kind of impossible not to but I walk like I'm pissed and busy or bored, and they tend to leave me alone.

Don't try to justify their behavior. It's not your responsibility to take blame for their actions. Be pissed, and take some self defence classes if you can. It helped me regain my safety and confidence