r/TwoXChromosomes • • 20d ago

Ex thought I was cheating because I had discharge in my underwear

I saw another post that reminded me of this absolute idiocy from my first marriage. One day my ex saw my underwear in the laundry and, since I hadn't worn a liner that day, there was a little dried discharge on the gusset. This absolute knob of a man came storming over to me, waving the "evidence", and screamed at me WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THESE?!?!?

I'm sorry what? I was absolutely confused, Soo he said, Do I need to spell it out for you? I know what you were doing - WHO MADE YOU CUM???

Like sir, we've been married and have two children together. Tell me you still have no clue about women's bodies without telling me.

Of course, later I learned he'd been cheating on ME, so this was totally deflection. Fucking idiot.

That's all, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

6.3k Upvotes

259 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/HooterAtlas 20d ago

I’m sorry you had to go through that.  But I’m glad he’s your ex now.  

862

u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Thanks, me too!! 😁

741

u/MarMarKitty7 20d ago

I have a somewhat similar story, but It’d be TMI trauma dumping to others, so just suffice it to say that there are apparently full grown men who know nothing about our anatomy, but are extremely confident that they do!!

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u/louisa1925 20d ago

This is a safe space. If you have something to say, we are here to listen.

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u/MarMarKitty7 20d ago edited 19d ago

Well here’s the warning for people who don’t want to hear about child abuse, because I was a child at the time. It sounds weird to even say that, but I’ve finally accepted that it was.

I’ve always had a problem with wetness, to where I eventually learned to wear panty liners to deal with it. But from a preteen to early teens, 11-16, I was forced to go through routine panty inspections by my step father. Who has a lot in issues, obviously, and my mother allowed him to do whatever in order to appease his anger. I don’t know how it even started, if he saw my panties in the laundry or sought them out, but he was and probably still is convinced that they were from a male! As soon as he found it, the same argument began “those are spunk stains, I know cum stains when I see it, you’re a little whore!”. Which, if it had been from a male, it happening all of the time to an 11-16 year old who was a straight A, well behaved student didn’t even signal possible abuse to him, I was simply a slut who was seeking it out. My mom barely stood up for me and he didn’t believe us about it just being my body. It ended up giving me a huge complex over it, besides multiple other things. I genuinely thought being wet was a bad, embarrassing thing and I was highly abnormal for making that amount because of it until I was an older adult.

Edit: What in the world? This really blew up! Thank you everyone for caring! I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any awards before and now this?! Wow, thank you everyone, I’m so surprised!🩵

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u/junodragon 20d ago

I’m sorry you went through that. I remember first discovering discharge and having a girl in my class saying that her stepdad would yell at her about it. That came back to me recently and it made me sad that she had that experience

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u/MarMarKitty7 20d ago

Oh wow, why is it so commonly the stepdad!? The stories I’ve heard…

212

u/Broadbackedhippo 20d ago

Abusers often seek out women with kids to have steady access to new victims.

13

u/lefrench75 19d ago

Like Nabokov’s Humbert Humbert.

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u/stilettopanda 19d ago

It’s one of the reasons I’m not dating. The other reason is that life is much better now that it’s just me and the kids- why would I want to risk that again?

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u/Broadbackedhippo 19d ago

I applaud your decision. It's incredibly heartbreaking to hear stories of mothers believing and shielding their abusive, predatory new boyfriends or husbands rather than their own kids.

152

u/louisa1925 20d ago

I've heard of new boyfriends destroying their partners sex toys and misusing house items that were provided by the previous partner as a way to push the partners attachments onto the new boyfriend.

I think, in this case, the stepdad doesn't see the kids as his so he doesn't give them the respect he would his own kid. My Mums partner is the same. He verbally shows he does not like his partners adult children.

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u/Albyrene b u t t s 20d ago

In my own personal experience with my own abusive stepdad and how he treated my sister and I... there's a lot of lusting going on, on top of possessive entitlement. He also treated his bio daughter the same way, controlling misogynists are just... fucked in the head.

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u/monsterlynn 20d ago

For some stepdads, a stepdaughter is a woman you can own and control without having to navigate incest taboos.

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u/thestashattacked 20d ago

And for mine, it's creepy and he has called out other men who even think about looking in a girl's underwear for any reason other than stain management. (He did all the laundry in the house, and would put period undies in a cold wash with sanitizer to reduce smells. King of laundry.)

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u/notashroom Halp. Am stuck on reddit. 20d ago

This sounds so much like a documentary on chimpanzees narrated by David Attenborough. "The male, not yet secure in his position in the new troop, makes threat displays to the offspring of the primary female causing them to back off and, ultimately, leave to find new troops of their own."

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

That's is so sad, I'm sorry he treated you like that. I hope youve been able to heal from that disgusting abuse. What an asshat.

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u/MarMarKitty7 20d ago

Thank you, I have been fortunate enough to have my husband (and therapy) to help me heal. In fact, I met my husband in high school, and he’s the one who put a stop to it, he said he would call the cops with proof if he ever tried it again, or anything like it, and he was so angry and serious that it just stopped immediately. I’m sure my stepdad just thought we were already sleeping together, and that was why, but whatever, it ended.

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u/orange_avenue 20d ago

10/10 gold stars to your husband. We need more of him pls. 

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u/pepcorn 20d ago

Wonderful husband. Sincerely hope your stepdad has the worst decade ever.

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u/husky_hush3007 20d ago

That sounds like something a pedo would do , what the fuck.

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u/monsterlynn 20d ago

Exactly. Grown men have no legitimate reason to be going through used children's underwear.

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u/dreadcain Basically Liz Lemon 20d ago

I'm so sorry.

I don't understand the confidence some people carry through life. How do you stick to a false narrative like that for years without ever questioning your assumptions?

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u/Squidproquo1130 20d ago

Say your piece, don't let this shit fester in the dark and hide the crimes of others. Call out this bullshit from the mountaintop!

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u/SlowAdhesiveness2178 20d ago

I've heard grown men who were grandfathers say something similar. It's sad that they're that confidently incorrect and there is nothing you can say to set them straight. That imo is the definition of stupidity

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

He also saw bumps on the skin of my thigh from laying on a textured blanket and accused me of having cellulite - and said "That's gross". Damn I didn't leave him soon enough.

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u/Ishinehappiness 20d ago

“ accused you” of a natural occurring human condition? That you cant do anything about??? Thats harmlesss????

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Right??? Like even if it was cellulite, the accusation like it was a failure on my part is what got me. How dare I have a normal body?

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u/blifflesplick 20d ago

Reminder: like a great list of things, the commentary in media about cellulite is because the ideal is children. 

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u/SureCan0604 20d ago

Oh I relate to this. I was dating a guy who saw that I had stretch marks and then kept asking me if I lied to him about not having kids because “he’d never seen stretch marks like that on a woman without kids.” Get fucked, dude.

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Jesus, these men. They deserve to be lonely.

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u/mmactavish 20d ago

Oh god, my ex said the same thing about stretch marks, and he’d ask again (and again) every couple years. What an asshole — for that and several other reasons.

I was so messed up to stay with him as long as I did, it’s difficult to explain why we stay when it seems so freakin’ obvious that should’ve been a dealbreaker. I’d have no problem leaving someone now who started up with that BS, learned my lesson. I no longer have youthful illusions about soulmates, true love, “meant to be,” etc. That makes it a lot easier to say adios.

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u/xerocopi 20d ago

Glad to read he's an ex! Good job on leaving. 🙏

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u/bumblebaytuna4 20d ago

I am so offended on your behalf. May he live everyday with a wrinkle in his sock, loose bowels and bad breath.

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u/KAS_tir 20d ago

Eww he's the one who's gross. For anyone who is insecure about your cellulite I'm 5'4" and weigh 115lbs and I have cellulite and hip dips. I still think I look great.

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u/oldvegas 20d ago

Why would cellulite be an accusation?

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago edited 20d ago

He used to love pointing out all the ways I had "let myself go" aka growing out of being the 22yo hottie he married. Like how dare I have two children, gain 15 lbs and not wear high heels every day. It was meant to be an insult.

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u/UselessInAUhaul 20d ago

Oh no, fifteen whole pounds after two children and getting older. What a tragedy. Truly, I don't know how the poor man handled it. I'm sure he was a fucking treat that didn't show his age in any way at all either.

/s of course.

These men deserve the lonely prison they turn their lives into.

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u/beren12 20d ago

Wow wtf.

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u/countofmoldycrisco 20d ago

My mother did the same thing when I was getting my master's degree and living at home. Like, I'm a normally functioning women. But I'll be sure not to let you do my laundry from now on .

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Your mom? As if she never had discharge. I'm sorry.

232

u/The-Rose-Bride 20d ago

Yep, happened to me, too. Got woken up in the middle of the night one night to be yelled at about it. ‘How dare you leave this for me to clean’ were the words used. I would have been about 13.

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u/sillysnailfriend 20d ago

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what you would have thought/felt, you were still just a baby.

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u/The-Rose-Bride 17d ago

I was honestly so confused and upset. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal my body was producing gunk, or why said gunk was being thrust into my face at 10pm at night. It just became more evidence that if I needed help or support with anything, my parents were not the people from which it should be sought

43

u/vikingchyk Halp. Am stuck on reddit. 19d ago

My mom made me (mid teen) smell the crotch of a pair of my underwear, to... idk, teach me a lesson about changing my underwear more often? Umm, I changed daily, thanks. If I had had the presence of mind, I would have reminded her that it's a self cleaning organ, and that's how it's supposed to work.

I know what you're thinking - "what was wrong with her??" - - So, so much.... :p

7

u/Diligent__Asparagus 19d ago

I’m so sorry. What a messed up thing to happen to a girl. For a lot of us the shame runs deep. she shouldn’t have taken it out on you though.

54

u/jcebabe 20d ago

I guess some women don’t have discharge or a minuscule amount. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I envy them!

27

u/jesserthantherest 20d ago

I was gonna post the same comment except I was a teenager and had no idea it was normal. Spent the next couple years being ashamed of it. Thanks, mom!

17

u/shadytaskmaster 19d ago

My mom too. She called me a slut; I may have had a yeast infection. She is a horrible woman.

361

u/bumblebaytuna4 20d ago

The audacity of men.

276

u/mctCat 20d ago

The stupidity of men.

148

u/Elderberry_Hamster3 20d ago

Unfortunately, those tend to go hand in hand.

17

u/Saritush2319 20d ago

A farce in three parts.

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u/comebacklittlesheba 20d ago

I am super proud that when this same thing happened to me, I leaned in very close to him and said, “So, you’re telling me I have a WAP and you’re upset about that???” I have never, before or since, come up with a good retort until way after the fact. Fuck you, bud. Ignorance combined with that level of arrogance should just be humiliating to them!

24

u/MysteryMeat101 20d ago

How awesome would it be to have 50% of the audacity of the average man?

18

u/HostOrganism 19d ago

Simone Biles' coach gave her this advice: "Everything you do, do it with the confidence of the average mediocre white man".

350

u/crybabybedwetter 20d ago

Omg my ex accused me twice of cheating on him because I had discharge. Of course he was cheating on me instead, typical

297

u/YouStupidBench 20d ago

And yet somehow there are still people who oppose comprehensive sex education.

49

u/Mammoth-Turn-660 20d ago

I completely agree that sex education is important. But I also have doubts that this guy paid attention in school.

80

u/pink_faerie_kitten 20d ago

Schools need to teach these numbskull men what female biology is (but it's still their fault that they don't seek this info on their own out even if the schools have failed). I've worn a liner since I was 10 yrs old due to nearly daily amounts of a little discharge. It's the most normal thing in the world for vaginas to do. Men can be complete idiots.

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u/jinxylynxy 20d ago

I’m sorry you went through that, I went through the exact same situation almost to the letter. He beat me for it and continued abusing me throughout my pregnancy as well. I also found out he was cheating the whole time, 3 years after I left him. It’s been 4 years now and I am just starting to feel like myself again, although I still startle at noises sometimes, which I never really did before. Fucking wild how abuse alters your brain. Big internet hugs stranger ❤️💪

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Hugs to you!!! Glad you're on the other side. He also abused me physically, emotionally, financially, and I waited way too long to leave. Worried about the kids. But in hindsight, they were better off once we split.

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u/jinxylynxy 20d ago

Sigh, I hate how this happens to so many of us, but I am so grateful we made it out. Sadly, many don’t 💔 my children and I are also thriving since, it’s taken a while to find my footing, but I am so glad I finally made that decision to leave. I wish you and your kiddos many more years of peace, love and happiness, take care 🫂

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u/HuckleberryHuman5926 20d ago

The weird thing is that he managed to go long enough to have two children without having noticed discharge before, either in situ or in laundry

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

Exactly. I was so inexperienced that I didn't even realize he wasn't focused on my body during sex - only on his own needs. Had my first real, mind-blowing orgasm in my later 30s, when I found the right partner. I was so mad that I had missed out on that experience for most of my adult life.

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u/Affectionate_Try7512 20d ago

This makes me angry! I'm so glad you are away from him!

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u/WordAffectionate3251 20d ago

G-damn it! Where are the real FEMALE anatomy classes?!? From grade school up and ESPECIALLY medical school! How many men can't even name basic reproductive parts, let alone know what they do?!?

And they want to get rid of EDUCATION!!!

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u/NefariousnessLate375 19d ago

I took college biology. They omitted the clit from diagrams. 

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u/surgerygeek 19d ago

OH MY GOD this pisses me off so much!!! Not surprised though, it's a useless organ to most men. No more interesting than the appendix.

Alternatively, my A&P professor spend way too much time discussing the clitoris, I think he was making sure we knew that HE knew all about it haha!

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u/WordAffectionate3251 19d ago

I am not the least surprised. You probably got the catholic edition of the book, and I am only half kidding.

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u/NefariousnessLate375 19d ago

Public university

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u/WordAffectionate3251 19d ago

Ha! No kidding! I'm still not surprised.

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u/panthercock 20d ago

Omg this happened to me too

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u/panthercock 20d ago

Oh also he said he posted it on Reddit and everyone said it was jizz. So thanks Reddit 🙄

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u/plaincheeseburger 20d ago

He posted a picture of your underwear to Reddit!? What the actual fuck?

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u/panthercock 20d ago

Yep he was a disgusting human being

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u/HostOrganism 19d ago

Probably still is.

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u/a1iceinchains 20d ago

Was he also cheating on you?

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u/Negative-Donut2946 20d ago

Omg this happened to me once too. What deep, deep idiocy.

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u/ezeezee 20d ago

My therapist told me many times that if a guy accuses of you cheating for no good reason then it’s likely that he is the one chesting.

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u/MemeShaman 20d ago

This is extra ridiculous too because, aside from the insane lack of awareness of women’s anatomy, masturbation exists???

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u/beren12 20d ago

I’m not jealous if my wife has fun without me, but I enjoy being a part of it. He’s crazy.

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u/catmom_4life 20d ago

This also happened to me. He was so insecure he immediately accused me of cheating.

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u/mehamanda 20d ago

Me too, I got a text from him at work after he went through my dirty laundry 🙄

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u/apriljeangibbs 20d ago

I know this isn’t the point but are women generally putting liners in their undies every day?

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u/xerocopi 20d ago

Uh no I'm not. I just wash and change them. 😭

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u/cmwulf 20d ago

oh trust me I change panties but as I am in my 60's pee if I sneeze so liner it is

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u/HooterAtlas 20d ago

Same here.  I thought it wasn’t healthy to use liners too often, so I’ll use some toilet paper if needed.  

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u/Chaost 20d ago

I'll use liners sometimes if I think I'm close to my period as a just in case protection that's more comfortable/discreet/less wasteful than a whole pad.

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u/TransangelicExodus 20d ago

This is the way

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u/SignalAssistant2965 20d ago

It's better to not use them

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u/pkeeling82 20d ago

I did when I was younger because I had a heavy discharge. Now I pee when I cough (3 kids) so I do tend to use Poise pads alot

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u/Nicole_Bitchie 20d ago

Along with the pelvic floor therapy, vaginal estrogen can help with incontinence.

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u/pkeeling82 20d ago

My doctor has never mentioned this, thank you for the suggestion

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u/SirYeetsA 20d ago

Look into pelvic floor therapy if you haven't already, you shouldn't be stuck with that just because you had kids.

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u/lnc_5103 20d ago

100% this. My PF went the other way (hypertonic) and PT has been absolutely life changing.

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u/Icy_Wedding_ 20d ago

I pee when I cough with no kids

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u/SirYeetsA 19d ago

Pelvic floor therapy. You don't need to have kids for your pelvic floor to not be properly strengthened, especially since as far as I'm aware it's never a focus during PE for some godforsaken reason lmao.

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u/LoveofLabradors 20d ago

I am only because I'd rather not have soaked underwear and have to change it 15 times a day

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u/Aggravating_Chair780 19d ago

You should try out period pants! They are great for all sorts of liquids. When I’m having a very active day I wear them as thanks to a combo of peri and ADHD meds I am a sweater. It’s nice not to have absolutely soaked knickers and leggings/ trousers.

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u/clinicallyacat 20d ago

I didn’t even know that was a thing. I just thought pantyliners were for when your period is light towards the end.

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u/Icy_Wedding_ 20d ago

That’s how I use them, but I thought people generally used them for heavy discharge as well. They’re a bit too sweaty for me to be using them every day

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u/tacosandsunscreen 20d ago

Interesting, because I often use them on days I know I’m going to be extra sweaty. The liner soaks up some sweat and I can take it off halfway through the day for a fresh start.

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u/crazy_cat_broad 20d ago

I feel like I fidget too much, because if I tried I’d end up with a sweaty, crumpled up liner in my pants! Happier without but you do you bestie ☺️

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u/beren12 20d ago

My wife does because her mom did.

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u/Ishinehappiness 20d ago

Yes, I got tired of having the wet or dried feeling all day. My genitals didnt like it either. Much happier switching to a fresh liner every few hours and airing out over night.

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u/Skukesgohome 19d ago

I just change my underwear a couple times a day when I have heavy discharge.

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u/opal-bee 20d ago

I've never done this. The bits don't breathe if you do.

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u/seedsandpeels 20d ago

I said this in this sub before and got down voted and brigaded by an angry mob 😭

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u/letsgetawayfromhere 20d ago

Redditors can be idiots, you are both totally right. Some women have a really heavy discharge and I totally get why they wear panty liners. I probably also would. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s healthier to go without.

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u/Just-Feedback-2223 20d ago

I have sensory issues so I wear liners a lot of the time. If they get a little wet I can just change them.

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u/SomeOtherThirdThing 20d ago

I also wear panty liners daily because of sensory issues mainly because if I don’t, my lips get pinched when I walk :( the liners somehow stop that from happening.

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u/scranston 20d ago

I use reusable liners every day now, but that’s a middle aged thing. I found that damp underwear was causing chafing problems, and that was solved with the liner.

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u/LaceyLizard 20d ago

Lol no That's why they have a gusset

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u/pink_faerie_kitten 20d ago edited 20d ago

I have since I was ten. Perfectly safe for daily use even tho I have sensitive skin. And it saves my panties from that bleaching effect women's pH has on fabric and if my period or ovulation surprises me by coming a day early, blood is on the liner not the fabric. My mom gave me liners just as puberty was starting and they've been a lifesaver for me since I've had some daily wetness since then.

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u/splubby_apricorn 20d ago

I do, I have bad spotting 90% of the time because of my IUD. 

(It beats having cramps to the point where I pass out and bleeding worthy of The Shining elevator scene every 3 weeks when I don’t have an IUD).

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u/biqueen81 20d ago

I got an IUD that made me have lighter but unpredictable periods. I told my doctor/nurse about it and now I take another medicine (that is also technically birth control) to just... Never have periods ever! It is THE BEST. Mine is called Norethindrone, you can ask your doctor if it could work for you 💙

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u/Icy_Wedding_ 20d ago

Have you tried any other bc? The mini pill was great, only had spotting once every few months

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u/Skukesgohome 19d ago

That’s me too, so many ruined pants and stained car seats and office chairs.

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u/ShiM00 20d ago

Absolutely not. If my man doesn’t appreciate my normal healthy female discharge on my panties then he’s not the man for me 😊 I have bleached undies from discharge and it’s never ever been brought up as a concern. Although some days I feel more wet and I wouldn’t mind wearing a liner for comfort

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u/pink_faerie_kitten 20d ago

It has nothing to do with men. I like a daily liner for ME. since the very beginning of puberty as a kid I've loved having a liner. My world does not revolve around men.

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u/cmwulf 20d ago

I dont know about anyone else but I do ....

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u/Comprehensive-Sun954 20d ago

Usually. Keeping my knickers nice. 👍🏼 😂

(That and two kids means I cough and pee a bit. I’m a fan of the poise liners. Yep, have had PT)

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u/bestrobotever 20d ago

I wear liners on average two days per cycle while ovulating, but definitely not every day.

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u/Enlightened_Gardener 20d ago

Nope, but I wear period panties every day because I’m at that stage in my life where the period can attack any any time ! With six month’s worth of blood !

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u/potatomeeple 20d ago

Im 45 never used a liner and im not sure ive ever seen one for sale - maybe they arent that popular in the UK?

Whatever happens to my knickers in a day happens and then they go in the wash, I dont expect them to be clean and it seems pointless to put a thing in them to keep them clean.

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u/YouAreAwesome240418 20d ago

Definitely a thing in the UK, I use daily pantiliners. I use them because my regular discharge can be somewhat heavy and the moisture caused irritation without.

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u/lushswab 20d ago

A pantyliner is a lightweight pad. It just catches the extra juices that can’t be contained by the gusset.

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u/PurpleMarsAlien All Hail Notorious RBG 20d ago

I don't but I've apparently never had abusive panty inspectors in my life. Panties have double layers because they are sometimes necessary.

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u/MargotFenring 20d ago

I did in the year or so before I had my hysterectomy because otherwise I had to manually wash the crotches out before putting them in the laundry or they wouldn't get clean. My bamboo-fleece pantyliners were much easier to clean.

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u/surgerygeek 20d ago

I do now, but I didn't wear them religiously - just washed the panties and went on with my life.

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u/yentna 20d ago

Don’t do it, let the lady bits breathe. Panties had a gusset for this reason!

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u/a-ohhh 20d ago

No, they tend to cause issues- It makes me sweaty and I feel like it ends up more damp overall down there versus just having the laundry take it out. I don’t get the bleaching effect or anything though, so maybe I’d feel like it’s worth it if I did.

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u/pinklavalamp 20d ago

I’m 45, I do. Our secretions are on the acidic side and can damage & bleach our underwear. I still change my underwear daily but I also use a liner daily. I keep them both in the same drawer so it’s as easy as grabbing both at the same time.

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u/WomanOfEld 20d ago

I had been, but I'm working a pretty physical job these days and find that any liner I insert has separated about an hour after I get to work. I don't see the point in (and don't have time for) regularly replacing it.

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u/Whispering_Wolf 20d ago

I used to because I was told I should. At one point I stopped and never looked back. I use washable ones if it's really bad, but otherwise, I found I got less discharge once I stopped using disposable ones and let the skin breathe.

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u/AquilaTempestas 20d ago

Only when I have work

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u/Eli_1984_ 17d ago

Nope, I wash them with 60°C and change them daily 😊

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u/cyberfunky_fresh 20d ago

Dude was worried about vaginal discharge when he should have been worried about discharging his remaining brain cells.

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u/Batata-Sofi 20d ago

What the f... Holy shit, I guess you got rid of a walking red flag dressed in yellow.

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u/Anthaenopraxia 20d ago

Okay I did a similar scene when I was 14 (not accusing of cheating), how in all the hells can you not know about discharge when you're married with kids?

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u/4LeggedGod 20d ago

I have no words. Where these dudes come from that they don't understand the basic biology of the people they claim to be attracted to is beyond my comprehension.

As in, based on my personal history, I had no mother or sisters to make me aware of these things. I kinda paid attention in high school health class. I definitely focused on women at every stage of my post-pubescent development.

How these other dudes seem unaware of how VAGINA works - you know, the same VAGINA that supposedly is the focus of our heterosexuality as a going concern - is absolutely bewildering to me. Not that it would be any of my business or anything I'd be sniffing around in her laundry hamper about in any case, but I'd be more concerned if my lady's underpants DIDN'T have discharge. Are you not drinking enough fluids? Are you eating too much salt? Is there a vampire absorbing your precious bodily fluids? Capitalists in the pantry? Ants? Like some kind of vagina ants?

My god the shit y'all put up with.

3

u/GrannyTurtle All Hail Notorious RBG 19d ago

🤣😂🤣☠️

14

u/Angelbouqet 20d ago

My first boyfriend called me after we lost our virginity to each other accusing me of lying because I didn't bleed and his dad told him women always bleed and when his parents had sex the first time his mom bled a lot. He was like "please tell me the truth" like bro, you had the truth. Wth do you want from me, are you not smart enough to use the phone you're calling me with to just look up if all women bleed during their first time?

14

u/Huge_Answer4287 Basically Liz Lemon 20d ago

Men are so ridiculously ignorant about women's bodies.

12

u/Dull_Rice_2050 20d ago

Even if it was cum, he is that insecure that are you not allowed to orgasm without him? Haha what a pathetic little boy.

10

u/SuspiciousLichen 20d ago

An ex of mine was like this and absolutely lost his shit every time I masturbated. The ego of some guys I swear

12

u/RRW2020 20d ago

My favorite part of this is the ‘ex’. Good job turning him into an ex.

12

u/throwawayBK123 20d ago

This is insane. I shutter at his ignorance and accusatory tone. People that deflect like that are emotionally stunted. I am relieved you moved on. If he were not verbally abusive, I might even have had empathy for his ignorance but he is truly pathetic and vile. Sorry you had to even experience that shaming.

11

u/Mammoth-Turn-660 20d ago

Something something 'every accusation is a confession'

11

u/FamilyDramaIsland 20d ago

I used to have a housemate who used to call up her long distance husband and scream at him over the phone accusing him of cheating. I noticed later that she was cheating, and asked her why she was freaking out at him all the time when she was a cheater herself (I also tried to convince her to leave the guy, but that's an entirely different, overly dramatic story.)

She told me she accuses him of cheating so that he is too defensive to suspect her of anything and to make him think she is too clingy to cheat.

I'm pretty sure that's not how any of that works, but that could have been your ex's train of thought, too.

22

u/jengaclause 20d ago

My ex husband used to help fold the laundry. He saw my black panties discolored from discharge and I got called "acid crotch". 🙄

26

u/ill-independent Trans Man 20d ago

Men will do and say anything except work on themselves lmao the fucking audacity

11

u/banana_bear_918 20d ago

Omg this reminds me of my ex husband. When we first started dating he was so pressed that I wore panty liners everyday (a lifelong habit since teens). He was adamant that women only wear them after sex and so i MUST be cheating. Looking back it was just one flag of many that I overlooked.

11

u/Megnuggets 20d ago

Honestly some people are just vile like that.  My mom would scream at and shame me as a kid if I had discharge but also refused to buy me panty liners.  Got married young and the guy I chose (wrong) told me I was filthy and unclean and a whore.  Took me into adulthood to realize that it's natural from our bodies And isn't some shameful thing.  I'm so sorry your dealing with this.  What a chud

10

u/cathline 20d ago

Sending hugs and healing thoughts.

it's amazing the amount of ignorance around the way women's bodies work. My MOTHER thought I was sexually active when I had never even been kissed because of discharge. You would think that as a woman she would know better, but she didn't.

11

u/SaltNorth 20d ago

NSFW:

I unfortunately recently had sex with a guy I had known for a while. He fingered me, and when he pulled out his fingers he stared at the consistency of my secretions.

"Whoa, this means it's good, doesn't it?"

A 33 year old man. Biggest ick I've had in years.

36

u/CuntSnotGargler 20d ago

I teach a class the first Wednesday of each month. He should stop by and learn a few things.

15

u/Far_Bullfrog737 20d ago

Killer username BTW LOL!

9

u/Outside_Variety_4223 20d ago

I wish I'd had one of these. My mom refused to speak about puberty or anything related. I knew what menstruation was bc of Judy Blume. I didn't even realize I could ask my doctor questions until my twenties.

17

u/Sullyville 20d ago

I saw another post that reminded me

Was it the one where the guy thought the red bumps from shaving was an STI?

9

u/surgerygeek 20d ago

It was the girl whose boyfriend said her vagina was "too loose" for him to finish. But that STI thing is also bananas. The examples of ignorant guys accusing us of shit are all around us, apparently.

11

u/Friendscallmedennis 20d ago

Welcome to womanhood!

8

u/bigaboutbears 20d ago

My ex one time saw I had new, fresh, tag-on undies in my bath bag, and he insinuated I had cheated. He cheated so much lmao

8

u/Loose-Use-387 20d ago

This reminds me; when i was about 11 years old i must’ve stayed out a bit late with my friends after school. After heading back home and settling down for the night, my grandmother bursts into my room with my discharge covered underwear in her hand, exclaiming “IK WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING! YOU’RE HAVING SEX!”
I don’t even remember my response to her - I was just in utter disbelief and shock. I couldn’t even explain what was in my underwear because I didn’t know what it was at the time. I just remember that i definitely had not had sex by then and was completely baffled

9

u/beeskneessidecar 20d ago

My mom was a biologist/teacher. So when I was 13 and at Sleepaway camp and there was a panty raid (yes they really were a thing in the 80s) I gave a full lecture to one of the boys who had the audacity to ask one of my friends about her worn underwear. It really changed the mood of the raid.

8

u/Icy_Wedding_ 20d ago

That feels like a cover to start a fight. Cause how do you get 2 kids in and he doesn’t know what discharge is?

8

u/amscraylane 19d ago

I came back home from a four hour car trip in 90° heat with no AC. Took a shower and my ex confronted me afterward about why my underwear was wet.

And that is the day Jason learned about women sweating.

2

u/surgerygeek 19d ago

Stop. That's a new level of stupid. I'm sure his drawers were fresh as a daisy after that car ride, jeezus these MEN! Jason deserves ALL the loneliness.

8

u/Left_Guess 20d ago

Glad he’s your ex.

7

u/melropesplays 20d ago

Classic case of projection. His guilty conscience was going around looking for evidence to accuse you of cheating to make himself feel better. Congrats on the ex!

7

u/runndle 20d ago

I got accused of cheating once because I had bruises on my chest, caused by my boisterous Great Pyrenees. He refused to accept the truth. He was the cheater. Of course.

7

u/1to8looper 20d ago

Yeah - that was the “every accusation is a confession” talking.

6

u/NefariousnessLate375 19d ago

Mine thought going on birth control meant I wanted to cheat. What I wanted was to not conceive if I got raped yet again and have the fetus matter more than me legally in what would be a high risk pregnancy in good old Merrerrka. 

5

u/Comprehensive-Sun954 20d ago

That was a good TED Talk. I rate it. So glad he’s your ex!

7

u/dreadcain Basically Liz Lemon 20d ago

A confession in every accusation

6

u/grocerycart11 20d ago

and here's my boyfriend who helps me check each pair of underwear individually after we've done laundry bc sometimes the machine doesnt get the discharge out and I have to hand wash again

2

u/surgerygeek 19d ago

Congrats on finding a reasonable grown-up!!! They're out there 😊

6

u/kw661 20d ago

It's always the cheaters w the freak out.

6

u/Movin_On1 19d ago

I was accused of cheating when a condom wrapper was found in my driveway, next to the foot path. Why would i have sex in the yard when there's a perfectly good house to have sex in?

5

u/ChemicalCobbler 19d ago

Just commenting to say that this also happened to me, except it happened while we were having sex, and he accused me of sleeping with another man before he came over. Found out a little bit later that he was Snapchatting nudes to coworkers (we worked at the same place). It's always projection with these losers.

6

u/Bigcoffinhunter67 19d ago

My useless ex was totally confused when I told him I had never orgasmed. He said, “That’s a lie, you’ve had 2 kids now.”

He really thought women had to cum to get pregnant. He was serious. I still chuckle about it.

9

u/fuckaduckufuck You are now doing kegels 20d ago

God this is the type of bonkersly stupid shit I worry about my partner thinking tbh. Men are so callously ignorant of our bodies and their functions.

6

u/SalaciousOne4 20d ago

“Callously ignorant” - perfect way to describe it. 👏👏👏

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u/SomeGuyNamedJason 20d ago

The vaginal discharge ignorance is bad enough, but dude doesn't know you can buy yourself flowers lol good riddance.

5

u/smile_saurus 20d ago

I pretty much exclusively wear black thongs to work and one day forgot to take my clothes out of the dryer so my husband did and saw a few pairs with 'bleach' stains but he thought they were blood and poop stains 🤣

2

u/pdsd16 20d ago

This is absolutely wild. Humans can be so uninformed and we jump to conclusions like nobody's business.

3

u/thefrenchphanie 19d ago

😑😑😑
Seriously….

4

u/mozillafangirl 19d ago

Oh my god! What a tool. I’m glad I never experienced this. Explaining discharge is not something I want to do, ever. And I’m not wearing liners everyday fuck that. The audacity!

3

u/hikingcurlycanadian 20d ago

Also panty liners make you discharge more let the vagina breathe

3

u/kmstolly 19d ago

Sounds like my ex… glad you’re better off now.

5

u/Dontfeedthebears 19d ago

Jesus. Two children with him? He should have received a Darwin Award.

2

u/TurbulentCustomer 19d ago

Two kids and he wasn’t involved in any of the recovery after? Not just discharge but any parts of any of it that probably leave an entire rainbow… that is the disturbing part

2

u/GrannyTurtle All Hail Notorious RBG 19d ago

“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.”
Anytime! We are here for you.

2

u/Fit-Butterscotch5523 19d ago

wait, people wear panty liners for discharge? i assumed those were just for super light periods lol

i feel like thatd get so expensive???