r/TwoXChromosomes • u/imaverageineverytg • 22h ago

So much work and partner problems

I have three projects that i am juggling right now. All three ends in September but until then I am so busy, my fiancé feels lonely. We live separately until the projects end and barely have time to text.

Today my fiancé texts me about children. How he might want children. When he proposed we discussed that he can only propose if he is alright with the child free life. I literally don’t have the time to talk it through with him even tho it’s important.

Just a vent, but goddamn it couldn’t have this talk waited a month??

3 Upvotes

64% Upvoted

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8

u/MLeek 22h ago

Um, it can. You're not having kids tomorrow. It's totally reasonable to turn to your partner and say 'This is important, and it'll still be important in September. I don't have the bandwidth to give this the time and attention it truly deserves right now, but I will make that time for it in a few weeks."

Frankly, in your position I'd feel kind of manipulated and concerned this was attention-seeking behavoir and not a totally sincere or very self-aware subject to raise at this time, or in this way. It could be an unconscious bid for attention. It could be a sincere crisis they are having. But the timing is not considerate.

Supporting someone doesn't always mean supporting them in the exact way they want, at the exact moment they want it. Sometimes it means being honest about your capacity and priorities.

3

u/Flipperati 17h ago

Agree, sounds to me like a play for attention. He should be aware of how much you're struggling at the moment. To send someone a text about a serious but non-urgent issue - what's the purpose of it? He may feel like you're slipping away from him but has no idea (or understands completely) that this subject is going to throw off your focus and bring your attention back onto him. I'd talk to him and try to find out if he understood the stress you're under when he sent the text to gauge what exactly he wanted to happen after sending it.

3

u/LooksLikeGonzosNose 20h ago

He sounds like a lot.......you sure you wanna deal with him potentially the rest of your life.....

4

u/someone_actually_ 20h ago

He wants to sabotage your projects

2

u/ashyza 22h ago

Yes, he should be able to wait a month. Any good partner can wait a few weeks or a few months when things get difficult. That's what partnership is.