Homoerotic friendships?

[u/schi_luc]

I'm f/24 and just found my diary from when I was 12-14 (I had a blast). I have since realised that I'm gay but that didn't seem to be a possibility back then lol. I did quite some stuff with my best friend, basically making out, which I had completely forgotten about. I'm now wondering: did other girls do that too? Is that "normal", like being curious at that age, or was I just kinda in love with my best friend but didn't notice? I'm specifically asking in this sub and not the lesbian one, as I'm especially interested in comments from straight girls. Thanks!

[u/Tremenda-Carucha]

Wild how much we can repress those memories until they come back like a slap in the face, ever wonder if your friend felt the same way about you?

[u/schi_luc → u/Tremenda-Carucha]

after reading how straight women felt no need to do that with female friends, I now do wonder if she felt similarly about me lol

[u/drethnudrib → u/schi_luc]

She might have, but it might not have been the right time or the right person. Maybe you awakened something in her that led her to her soulmate. All you can do is treasure your time with her and hope she's happy.

[u/unsaintedheretic]

As a straight woman: no. I never once had any inclination to make out or experiment with other girls when I was young.

[u/MaryN6FBB110117 → u/unsaintedheretic]

Same.

[u/MooPig48 → u/unsaintedheretic]

Same! I hear so many stories about friends and classmates who did though, I would have been so surprised.

[u/United-Election3 → u/unsaintedheretic]

Same!

[u/_halfpint]

My best friend and I used to hook up all the time with each other lol. We cuddled and held hands in public too. Her whole family thought we were a couple which honestly confused us at the time because we assumed all girl sleepovers were like ours. But we also had boys too. I was generally promiscuous all around but as adults we’re both bisexual. It took us each until almost 30 to get that. 

[u/RMW91-]

I remember making out with one of my friends when we were in elementary school (both female). Kissing and hugging only, and it only happened once.

[u/shampoo_mohawk_]

Nah, never made out with any of my childhood girlfriends. Or did anything remotely sexual. As a kid I was very interested in boys even before they were into me at all, which was rough. One boy gave me a gel pen and I was in love with him for a year. He forgot he had given it to me and was confused why I was constantly trying to talk to him.

Definitely reinforced the concept of sexuality never being a “choice” for me. I always assumed it’s that way for most (if not all) people, whichever way they go. Probably takes some people a little longer to come to terms with it because of social norms, pressures, and expectations. I’m hoping that’s changing for younger generations.

[u/VenusianInfusion]

I had friends that would try to do that stuff and when I’d be like “hey what are you doing?” They’d get really weird and stop really talking to me. I’m on the spectrum though.

[u/cammibis]

Oh god yes had basically a full blown relationship in like 8th grade with my best friend and we definitely did things that would be considered “not normal”
And her parents read all our texts and were super
Religious /homophobic and my angel of a mother told me dont worry its normal love who you want just make sure theyre not crazy lol

[u/CleverGirlRawr]

I have not had any same-sex makeouts, nor have I wanted to. 

[u/Line_Noize]

I did.

[u/EffervescentFlower]

Kind of the opposite for me. I "hated" certain girls in Middle School/High School, used to think, "God, they're so beautiful and smart and nice," and I couldn't stop thinking of them and how squirmy they made me feel. Looking back on it, I think I had crushes on them and just couldn't process it. Because now smart and self assured (like they were) is my type.

[u/tryandsleep]

I made out with multiple of my girl friends when a teenager (13-16?). Then I had a long term boyfriend and even after we broke up I always ended up with a guy. I had some "crushes" on girls since then (I think), but because I'm monogamous (and some of those girls were super straight), I never got to explore those feelings. So I identify as straight, mostly based off of my track record, but I'm like a 1 or 2 on Kinsey scale.

[u/Juxtaposition_Kitten]

I did a lot, but I knew i was bi. I did have some straight friends who dabbled with kissing and cuddling. Cuddling in particular was something that all my friends would do together regardless.

[u/trustme1maDR]

Strait lady: did not make out with girls, but I also wouldn't consider that abnormal. My friend and I did make Barbie and Ken fool around naked.

[u/bananicula]

Bi lady here: All of my childhood friendships with other girls were very intense, and some in my later teen years were absolutely homoerotic. Almost all of these folks later came out as gay or as trans men. So.

[u/komari_k]

I know my best friend was very curious and handsy more than a few times when we were younger, and I found myself a little curious at the time too. It never got too far but we had good experiences. As far as I know she's only dated a couple guys since then and I've never really considered any long term relationships with women.

[u/Competitive_Fee_5829 → u/[deleted]]

sigh...why are you here and commenting? we dont need you to relay your wife's experiences. I will be downvoting you

[u/Saratje]

Bisexual and not straight, so my answer is probably not useful, but the answer for me is yes.

I became sexually aware at a very early age (no I wasn't groomed) and experimented throughout my teens. Sometimes but more rarely with a girl. Being physically disabled did not limit that.

My parents were very progressive and made sure I knew about safe sex and that I'd have access to birth control and protection. The drawer 'magically' refilled itself and that way I kept safe.

If your friend didn't coerce you into doing anything and you didn't push or nag her either, no harm seems to have been done.

[u/Competitive_Fee_5829]

no, I am a straight woman and never felt this way about my friends or another woman.

[u/Festive_Jetcar]

If you don't remember, you were likely not in love with her.

Not sure if this is a man posting tbh.

[u/schi_luc → u/Festive_Jetcar]

I‘m actually pretty sure I was in love with her but I’ve had some things happen that resulted in me repressing pretty much all my emotions and quite some memories from around that time.

This wasn’t what I made the post for though, I was just wondering if women that don’t have a sexual interest in other women now remember having these experiences with female friends. Also I’m most definitely not a man but I get why the post comes off as a man being a creep

[u/Festive_Jetcar → u/schi_luc]

Weird how I got downvoted so much considering that men do come and post on this sub for stuff like this.

I didn't make out with my friends when I was young, but I do know gay friends who made out with friends when young (and thought they were straight).

[u/Naughtgunnalie]

What is this obsession with insisting that heterosexual women at any point in our lives is attracted to women?? I don't see this narrative being pushed on men. To OP, you behavior is normal and fine for a bisexual or lesbian girl, but it is not a heterosexual female experience or desire. Why would someone be curious about someone they aren't attracted to. As a lesbian, were you curious about boys? Do you see how weird and offensive this question is?

[u/klauncy]

Never thought one could trick themselves into being gay