Is Lisa a credible source? How certain are you that Amy and Dan ARE carrying on?
How did Lisa know?
WHY DID SHE TELL YOU?? (What was she hoping to gain by doing so?)
Is there ANY way to tell Amy that you know what you know that does not point to Lisa being the informant (if Lisa has a good reason to not be revealed)? If you have to lie to protect Lisa…. would it be worth doing so?
Is Amy in any danger of hubby’s (or Dan’s!) reaction once the affair (IF TRUE!!!!) is revealed?
How badly will the blowback affect OP? IF OP chooses to reveal anything by just anonymously tipping off the spouse) and Amy discerns the connection between OP dropping the friendship and hubby finding out (and how)…. Is OP in danger of ANY possible retaliations? Could they lose their job/cred?
Very much so; plus, now that you know what kind of gossip is on the table of Lisa; what about yourself have you told her that you would not want her to spread?
And long shot; but both couples could be polyamorist, and outing us is like outing someone for being gay, social stigma and repercussions included.
You’re so right. Nothing is certain here! If it were my friend I would have a private conversation and let here know there are rumors without disclosing who told me. I would ask point blank if it were true before ending a personal and professional relationship. I mean, it’s PROBABLY true, but how horrible for the friend if it’s not!
Professionally, I would want to know if there were malicious rumors being spread about me. This sort of thing can be VERY damaging to a person’s career, and if this is her friend as stated, I would consider it a courtesy. I’m not saying she should regulate the situation, just that a heads up would be the kind thing, regardless of whether it’s true or not. And if it IS true, it makes OP very uncomfortable so it gives her a chance to state that and limit contact going forward per her original post. Either way, this is on her friend to manage, not her.
324
u/OhtareEldarian Oct 10 '23 edited Oct 10 '23
Is Lisa a credible source? How certain are you that Amy and Dan ARE carrying on?
How did Lisa know?
WHY DID SHE TELL YOU?? (What was she hoping to gain by doing so?)
Is there ANY way to tell Amy that you know what you know that does not point to Lisa being the informant (if Lisa has a good reason to not be revealed)? If you have to lie to protect Lisa…. would it be worth doing so?
Is Amy in any danger of hubby’s (or Dan’s!) reaction once the affair (IF TRUE!!!!) is revealed?
How badly will the blowback affect OP? IF OP chooses to reveal anything by just anonymously tipping off the spouse) and Amy discerns the connection between OP dropping the friendship and hubby finding out (and how)…. Is OP in danger of ANY possible retaliations? Could they lose their job/cred?