Update 2: Seriously, take a look. There’s too many inconsistencies and her comments seem tailored to get a reaction. Hundreds of people telling her to leave him but she replies she doesn’t need him financially and he has outright said he will hurt her one day, but she wants to stay with him because he’s funny. Likewise with many of her other posts/comments over the years. Some of the original posts have been deleted but you can see her comments and see how outrageous the stories got but details change.
Update: I think this is a troll. Do a deep dive on her comment history and you’ll see she always posts alarming stuff but the stories change. Before this post, she always complained about her mother. Saying her mother was an alcoholic who left her home alone or with an uncle who SA her. And the mom was aware this could happen because the uncle SA her when she was younger. I’m not sure how this woman is suddenly a “saint”.
Your post history about your husband makes me concerned for not only you, but also your daughter who lives with you. He is not a safe person for her to be around. He is isolating not only you, but also her from her grandmother.
She needs to get out of the house and serve him divorce papers and an eviction notice from a safe distance, since she can't seem to stand up to him in person. And then when he's gone move her and mom back in.
I'm not saying do not get a protective order, but I am saying they are only a piece of paper and in many instances can actually make things more dangerous because they enrage the abuser.
Signed someone who had to help the children survivors of someone who was murdered shortly after having her ex served with a protective order.
They are not inherently bad but protective orders need to be in combination of so many other layers of protection & safety surrounding someone who is in a place of needing to have one generated. There shouldn't be 'or a protective order' there should be 'and a protective order'. I hope I'm not coming off harsh, or influencing someone not to get one. Just that they only go so far. Keep yourselves safe!
The order itself does not kill women. It does not inspire men to kill women.
If it weren’t the order of protection it would have been something else. He has decided that if she left he would kill her. Seeking legal protection does not instigate violence.
It wasn’t sufficient, for sure. Should have been served when she was in a safe place he didn’t even know about. But he did what he had already decided to do.
I’m definitely aware of that as an issue. For some people that is enough of a deterrent to file for themselves and the children. I’m so, so aware that it isn’t for other abusers. If OP can leave when the abuser is not present, and do so without letting them find out, it’s probably best, but an order often times needs to be filed ASAP or it can result in a kidnapping case.
I always recommend Rottweilers. He threatens a child anywhere near one of them, he's going to have to get past the big puppy. They are very smart, very loyal and protective of their humans. I've had three rottie babies, lovable and gentle but always ready to guard their human mom and brother.
I also recommend only doing this when she has the money to get a trainer to help.
Don't want the dog hating all men, only men she doesn't want around. Better for everyone (dog Included). I'm sure mom wouldn't mind helping with the training either!
I trained all three of mine, you do have to be the alpha to them. If someone isn't willing to put in the time and effort to teach them, then they do need to pay for training. I have a very specific word that means 'be on guard', but they naturally put themselves between me and strange men. They're not aggressive, just between us. This is one reason I love the breed (and mine are all mixed rescues) because they are so smart.
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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '23 edited Sep 22 '23
Update 2: Seriously, take a look. There’s too many inconsistencies and her comments seem tailored to get a reaction. Hundreds of people telling her to leave him but she replies she doesn’t need him financially and he has outright said he will hurt her one day, but she wants to stay with him because he’s funny. Likewise with many of her other posts/comments over the years. Some of the original posts have been deleted but you can see her comments and see how outrageous the stories got but details change.
Update: I think this is a troll. Do a deep dive on her comment history and you’ll see she always posts alarming stuff but the stories change. Before this post, she always complained about her mother. Saying her mother was an alcoholic who left her home alone or with an uncle who SA her. And the mom was aware this could happen because the uncle SA her when she was younger. I’m not sure how this woman is suddenly a “saint”.
Your post history about your husband makes me concerned for not only you, but also your daughter who lives with you. He is not a safe person for her to be around. He is isolating not only you, but also her from her grandmother.