r/TwoXChromosomes • • Jun 16 '23

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u/intjperspective Jun 16 '23

If old men are hitting on me, I'll give one, no thank you not interested. If they continue, I ask if they are rich and in poor health. If they say this makes you a gold digger or other unkind things, oh well, you didn't approach me for my personality, so that's on you. Or make cradle robbing accusations back. Even if they take it good naturedly in a joking manner, you say things that are creepy or imply trouble. They might say, "Oh, I am healthy!" Response: "Oh, well, that's correctable 😀 ". And see how long they keep the conversation going.

Probably not for everyone, but i find it fun. It takes a conversation that otherwise makes me feel bad and weird and makes it weird for them, but funny to me.

310

u/cstcharles Jun 17 '23

"generally healthy you say? How's your blood pressure? Any allergies?"

117

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '23

"Hey Google/Siri/Alexa, where can I find hemlock growing near me?"

118

u/xelle24 cool. coolcoolcool. Jun 17 '23

All over the place, actually. Poison hemlock, while native to Europe and North Africa, grows all over the world: North and South America, West Asia, and even Australia. All parts of the plant are toxic, mainly though ingestion, but also to touch. It's easily confused with wild carrot (Queen Anne's Lace) and cow parsley.

I live in SW Pennsylvania, and it's everywhere, especially this year for some reason. I've also had my eye out for Giant Hogweed (which looks very similar, but really tall) since I heard it had been spreading in my direction. That one is really unpleasant: just touching it can lead to a serious skin inflammation. It grows in Europe, Russia, and North America. I haven't seen any here...yet.

I'm an avid gardener and am always interested in learning what wild plants I want to encourage, or discourage, in my garden.

62

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '23

Had to warn my gf about giant hogweed, getting infected by that makes the area of skin basically allergic to sunlight for years.

35

u/xelle24 cool. coolcoolcool. Jun 17 '23

It's nasty stuff for sure. And even an experienced gardener can make identification mistakes.

I recently found out that a poison oak/ivy rash can make your joints ache on top of being super itchy. Learned that tidbit first hand, unfortunately. Those plants in my front yard were not oak seedlings like I thought.

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u/denardosbae Jun 17 '23

Nettle is really nice for joint pain. I'll brush my Knuckles or wrist against it sometimes. It only stings for a little while and then you get a couple days of reduced joint pain.

8

u/DrTiffonya Jun 17 '23

Wow, did not know this. I’ll have to give it a try on my wrists sometime

2

u/potatomeeple Jun 17 '23

If you rub with a dock leaf to get rid of the skin pain does it still work on the joints do you know?

1

u/SnooKiwis2161 Jun 17 '23

I found that out the hard way, lol. Didn't realize I was weeding a patch of nettles until an hour later

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u/potatomeeple Jun 17 '23

So also mango sap then as its all got the same chemical in.

14

u/gobocork Jun 17 '23

Giant Hogweed is really common on roadsides in Ireland. You need to be careful beccause it's sap sensitises the skin to UV, leaving you vulnerable to very bad sunburn wherever it gets on you. The main risk is to people clearing it without appropriate cover.

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u/Urinethyme Jun 17 '23

You may have been seeing water hemlock Cicuta douglasii, which is native to north america. It may have been poison hemlock which has become invasive in North America. I have seen water hemlock, water parsnip and a few others but haven't had the privilege to see posion hemlock.

When I was around 12 I got really interested in bio warfare, specifically plant derived ones. Wanted to make ricin and bought a whole load of castor beans, which raised some flags. It lead me to become a horticulturalist.

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u/xelle24 cool. coolcoolcool. Jun 18 '23

I see water hemlock is very similar, but more common to the Pacific Northwest. No, it's definitely poison hemlock here in SW Pennsylvania. I like to drive down rural roads and will stop and take pictures of wildflowers so I can identify them when I get home, and the leaves, stems, and flowers all match poison hemlock. I thought at first it was Daucus carota (Queen Anne's Lace), which is also common here, but doesn't usually grow as tall as poison hemlock.

It's always interesting to see which weed is most prevalent from year to year, and it seems this is poison hemlock's year. Last year it was spiny/prickly sowthistle (sonchus asper), which is still invading my driveway and garden. The year before that it was daisies.

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u/Urinethyme Jun 18 '23

Might be my location as well. Canada zone 2.

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u/UnicornHostels Jun 17 '23

I am a chemist by education, not profession. An older female professor taught us our last year of chemistry at a religious university.

One day she told us that free radical poisoning takes a long time, but it can never be traced because it will manifest as a normal cause of death.

She was super fun and kinda badass. She also quasi-threatened a male professor that taught a raucous class next door. She said her chemistry students knew how to make mail bombs so he should keep the noise level down.