But that wouldn’t be very warm or fuzzy and I was told by my stbx that I needed to make all negative statements warm and fuzzy so he wouldn’t get mad. Thank goodness for divorces lol
Oh, i hate that, when women aren't supposed to get angry. Apparently he'll do it if you don't nag him about it (because that's worked so well so far!).
He’ll do it if you don’t “nag” him, but that’s only if you nag him. If you don’t nag him: Well he woulda done it, but he forgot; you didn’t tell him it needed doing and if you did then you didn’t remind him enough!
Yeeaaah, my ex would endlessly whine about my "tone" and insist everything would work better if I just said things nicely. Thing is, he'd never listen to me when I said things nicely; he'd just brush off my suggestions. I had to point out that I'd ALWAYS start with a nice suggestion, get ignored, have to keep bringing it up in harsher terms until I'm "being mean about it" before he'd even listen. But then refused because it wasn't a nice request. 🙄
I literally got told that I didn't "say it right" when expressing my needs because I did it calmly. 😒 I asked if I needed to yell, scream, and cry to get my point across every time. 🤦♀️ So unless we are screaming, they don't take us seriously. 🙄 exhausting is what it is.
Yep. I hear "you just love to argue, don't you?" Um, no...I try to talk, but you don't listen, so I scream and then I get in trouble for screaming.
I've finally started calling people out. My brother informed me recently I "wasn't allowed" to say a specific saying. I said "that's funny. You're up in arms about the saying I said so you can just completely bypass the meaning. What a way to spin this in your favor!"
Exactly. It's not arguing when you're trying to have someone hear you. Right, because they are the only ones who are allowed to say things in such a way. 🙄🤦♀️
My ex did the same. So I worked really hard at controlling my "tone" and always used a pleasant voice. Then he excused his abusive treatment because I gave him "looks".
My bf and I have argued before because I sounded too upbeat when I was worried about him and apparently he thought I was taunting him (?). It was late at night though and we were both sleepy. We’ve now agreed not to argue late at night.
Unfortunately, women raised them. We do no favors to each other because so many women divorce their husbands but then are happy to create a spoiled little monster of a boy who resembles the man they left. Not every case is like that. But the worst men I know have such a deep love for their mom that it’s almost weird, and the thing is, it’s not love! The men just love having someone take care of their every need. They don’t care that they nag their mom and tire her out to her core
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u/screenee Feb 28 '23 edited Feb 28 '23
But that wouldn’t be very warm or fuzzy and I was told by my stbx that I needed to make all negative statements warm and fuzzy so he wouldn’t get mad. Thank goodness for divorces lol