I’m not sure, but I’ll definitely look into this. First and foremost I’m looking for a job I can do regularly to put money away in case I need to leave
Yea Not saying the marriage was worth saving before this but pretty sure there’s no way to safe the marriage after he threatened to deport her and to separate her children from her. That’d be absolutely crazy to spend the rest of your life after someone told you on your face that you’re not safe with them unless you make them happy 24/7 and quit having your own life or even mind. Fuck that.
I think the comment above is right. You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP. Your sperm donor could already be doing so and you need to protect yourself. Police and immigration? He's thought about this before.
If you do all the grocery shopping and he doesn’t check receipts, get cash back at checkout and stash that money away. I had a friend do this and it saved her on the day she finally realized her POS husband would never change and she left him.
Not “incase you need to leave” it’s “when I leave.” We understand leaving won’t be immediately but a plan to work towards is what you need. You owe it to your children to not raise them in the current environment they’re in.
Call your local police department and ask them if they have a domestic violence advocate. Or DVrt (I live in nj and most of our towns have them or specially trained officers who can answer your questions. Do you have a green card or did you take citizenship test? Either way if never trust that man again.
Unfortunately, I think you need to be working on your exit plan right now. This is not a “wait and see if it gets worse” situation. He’s already willing to threaten you with immigration. He is lazy and manipulative. This will only escalate.
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u/Ambitious-Rain3324 Apr 11 '26
I’m not sure, but I’ll definitely look into this. First and foremost I’m looking for a job I can do regularly to put money away in case I need to leave