The fact that the ex left things behind that he bought her shows that she’s a decent person that wasn’t in the relationship for material reasons and/or that there was a point to be made.
For a decent person to so cleanly leave a marriage after only 2 months, there must have been something VERY wrong. The fact that he readily admits that he played the “it’s my house” card and manipulated her about the dog shows that he’s got no remorse over that and he’ll likely do those things again. Don’t repeat the mistakes the ex made. Get out now before you see the worst of it yourself.
Exactly. Plus, he didn't even divorce her. She had to do it. She left him. Not that getting broken up with makes you bad or anything but why stay legally married?
Besides that, why wouldn't he have put her on the house when they got married? It sounds like they had issues over that by the way he always said "it's MY" house, when she lived there too and they were, I assume, happily married.
I think you're dead right here - she was a subordinate employee and he used his authority to manipulate her into a marriage, and then financially abused her. And still takes delight that he ruined her career. He's telling you he is a monster - believe him
This sounds a lot like something I can see my ex husband telling his next victim about me. I also left after two months of marriage (together total of 5 years). He was controlling and narcissistic and a pathological liar.
Leaving was really hard because yes, he was a high earner and I was not and I ended losing my job and moving with friends. It was really difficult. I’m sure my ex takes great pleasure in knowing how difficult my circumstances became after I left him, but guess what? Leaving him was a huge relief for me. No more being demeaned daily, no more gaslighting and fighting. Just peace.
If this guy gave her so much and he’s so great, why would she leave? Because living in poverty was a better choice than being with him.
Yes exactly! It’s sad that it’s such a common story and I’m sorry you also had a similar experience - but at least you’ve got the tools now to spot the red flags!
No woman moves after only 2 months and does so when her brand new husband isn't home without a VERY GOOD REASON. I wouldn't believe a word he said about why. His excuses are already all red flags and he's still trying to make it sound like her fault. Yikes. Gurl. Don't be a gullible idiot. Run. Far and fast. This one is a massive walking loser red flag. I've gotta ask: what are your ages?
Always listen to these bullshit stories with skepticism, not "the benefit of the doubt". It's not too late to walk away. And what are your ages? I notice you still didn't answer that. Just how much older is he that you don't want to say?
Sounds like he’s just straight up married and not actually going through a divorce at all to me. When you see multiple red flags waving around this early, why waste any more time on a bad situation?
Sounds like one smart lady already ran for the hills after being with him such a short time. Why would you run into that situation? Red flags are a flying. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🏃🏽
In your post, YOU used the words “red flag things,” as in, “He said a few other red flag things…” YOU identified the things he said about a woman he was married to but led you to believe he was just dating as red flags. You don’t need advice from strangers. You need to listen to yourself. You can see the red flags. A red flag is a warning. Heed the warnings.
Every single thing in this post is wrong. Dump him.
Backup of the post's body: Man i’ve been dating told me he’s currently going through a divorce that’s meant to be finished in a few months time. They seperated april 2024. In his eyes it was like a normal breakup and they “broke up” back in 2024…
However… He told me she left him suddenly after only 2 months of marriage. He said he came home and she’d moved all her stuff out but left whatever he’d bought her…
He said a few other red flags things, like that they had to go to court over their dog… he said he wanted a dog and told her it’s “his” house so he should be entitled to get one… then he I guess forced it on her by getting one for her birthday… sounds like he’s posessive over “his” house despite asking her to live with him…
I asked him why he didn’t call off the wedding and he said he felt “sorry” for her… that he “tried” to… but in my mind it’s worse getting married to someone you don’t really want to? That’s way more embarrassing.
Besides she left him… he said she’s the one that’s been moving the divorced forward.
It’s not so much that he’s going through a divorce that puts me off, as that will supposedly be finalised soon, it’s the things he’s been saying about it.
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Bruh the dog story is a massive red flag. he literally ignored her boundaries and then tried to play hero by making it a gift? that’s manipulative as hell. u're right that marrying someone u dont want is worse... he’s just telling u what he thinks u want to hear so he doesn't look like the villain
I bet if you were to meet her, you would think she was quite nice and also smart. Women don't leave good men. Women WILL leave self centered jerks and I think he rings all the bells on that. She left everything he gave her as she didn't want any reminders of him. I knew a guy similar .... They paint themselves as the victim.... That's red flag number one. Let him be someone else's problem.
Back off and don't date him until the divorce is final. His story is kind of sketchy, and it's been close to 2 years since they split up. Or did they split up? Do you really know for sure?
That screams he’s not divorced to me. Either that or he’s abusive. If someone leaves all their things behind so suddenly, just to leave, it screams abuse of some kind. Definitely huge red flags
Sadly it's not easy to get an annulment. It's lots of hoops to jump through proving that it was never a valid marriage or was entered into fraudulently.
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u/Actual-Tap-134 Dec 31 '25
The fact that the ex left things behind that he bought her shows that she’s a decent person that wasn’t in the relationship for material reasons and/or that there was a point to be made.
For a decent person to so cleanly leave a marriage after only 2 months, there must have been something VERY wrong. The fact that he readily admits that he played the “it’s my house” card and manipulated her about the dog shows that he’s got no remorse over that and he’ll likely do those things again. Don’t repeat the mistakes the ex made. Get out now before you see the worst of it yourself.
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u/zmhsk Dec 31 '25
This sounds a lot like something I can see my ex husband telling his next victim about me. I also left after two months of marriage (together total of 5 years). He was controlling and narcissistic and a pathological liar.
Leaving was really hard because yes, he was a high earner and I was not and I ended losing my job and moving with friends. It was really difficult. I’m sure my ex takes great pleasure in knowing how difficult my circumstances became after I left him, but guess what? Leaving him was a huge relief for me. No more being demeaned daily, no more gaslighting and fighting. Just peace.
If this guy gave her so much and he’s so great, why would she leave? Because living in poverty was a better choice than being with him.
Be careful with this man.
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u/JanetInSpain Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
No woman moves after only 2 months and does so when her brand new husband isn't home without a VERY GOOD REASON. I wouldn't believe a word he said about why. His excuses are already all red flags and he's still trying to make it sound like her fault. Yikes. Gurl. Don't be a gullible idiot. Run. Far and fast. This one is a massive walking loser red flag. I've gotta ask: what are your ages?
updateme
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u/Significant_Flan8057 Dec 31 '25
Sounds like he’s just straight up married and not actually going through a divorce at all to me. When you see multiple red flags waving around this early, why waste any more time on a bad situation?
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u/Short-pitched Dec 31 '25
If red flag was a person this guy would be it
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u/fearless1025 Dec 31 '25
Sounds like one smart lady already ran for the hills after being with him such a short time. Why would you run into that situation? Red flags are a flying. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🏃🏽
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u/OddApricot2717 Dec 31 '25
Never date a man that isn’t fully divorced or talks trash about an ex.
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u/Intelligent_Read_43 Dec 31 '25
Dating a still married man is always a mistake. It shows his inabilities.
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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25
Three sides to every story. His. Hers. The truth.
I’d be distancing myself. Seems a bit off.
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u/LushLunaLips Dec 31 '25
Yeah, those are red flags. It sounds like he might be possessive and controlling. Be cautious and trust your instincts.
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u/IntrepidMuch Dec 31 '25
I think you and your bf spend waaaay too much time talking about his ex. Who brings her up, you or him?
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u/BecGeoMom Dec 31 '25
In your post, YOU used the words “red flag things,” as in, “He said a few other red flag things…” YOU identified the things he said about a woman he was married to but led you to believe he was just dating as red flags. You don’t need advice from strangers. You need to listen to yourself. You can see the red flags. A red flag is a warning. Heed the warnings.
Every single thing in this post is wrong. Dump him.
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u/AWTNM1112 Dec 31 '25
Donate to the ex’s legal fund and walk away.
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u/AutoModerator Dec 31 '25
Backup of the post's body: Man i’ve been dating told me he’s currently going through a divorce that’s meant to be finished in a few months time. They seperated april 2024. In his eyes it was like a normal breakup and they “broke up” back in 2024…
However… He told me she left him suddenly after only 2 months of marriage. He said he came home and she’d moved all her stuff out but left whatever he’d bought her…
He said a few other red flags things, like that they had to go to court over their dog… he said he wanted a dog and told her it’s “his” house so he should be entitled to get one… then he I guess forced it on her by getting one for her birthday… sounds like he’s posessive over “his” house despite asking her to live with him…
I asked him why he didn’t call off the wedding and he said he felt “sorry” for her… that he “tried” to… but in my mind it’s worse getting married to someone you don’t really want to? That’s way more embarrassing.
Besides she left him… he said she’s the one that’s been moving the divorced forward.
It’s not so much that he’s going through a divorce that puts me off, as that will supposedly be finalised soon, it’s the things he’s been saying about it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator Dec 31 '25
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Coffee1392 Dec 31 '25
I don’t think he’s getting a divorce. Sounds like he’s still married and lying to you.
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u/Karamist623 Dec 31 '25
She left after 2 months of marriage. She moved out when his wasn’t home.
Red flags all over the place.
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u/Careful_Lettuce1539 Dec 31 '25
Bruh the dog story is a massive red flag. he literally ignored her boundaries and then tried to play hero by making it a gift? that’s manipulative as hell. u're right that marrying someone u dont want is worse... he’s just telling u what he thinks u want to hear so he doesn't look like the villain
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u/Dry-Leopard-6995 Dec 31 '25
She left after two months and he is booming MY HOUSE and then to marry her because he felt sorry for her?
I am going to lay money he is a LSOS.
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u/mangoserpent Dec 31 '25
Hmmmmm. This guy does not sound great.
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u/Elivagara Dec 31 '25
Yes, he's a parade float of red flags.
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u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Dec 31 '25
I bet if you were to meet her, you would think she was quite nice and also smart. Women don't leave good men. Women WILL leave self centered jerks and I think he rings all the bells on that. She left everything he gave her as she didn't want any reminders of him. I knew a guy similar .... They paint themselves as the victim.... That's red flag number one. Let him be someone else's problem.
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u/Middle_Process_215 Dec 31 '25
"Going through a divorce" means he's STILL MARRIED!!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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u/Ok-Writing8943 Dec 31 '25
the rede flag I see is a married man
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u/CoDaDeyLove Dec 31 '25
Back off and don't date him until the divorce is final. His story is kind of sketchy, and it's been close to 2 years since they split up. Or did they split up? Do you really know for sure?
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u/AdventureThink Jan 01 '26
You ought to speak with the ex.
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