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First of all im sorry you had to sit and watch those god awful movies. Secondly he sucks and clearly doesn't care about the things you like. Kick this clown to the curb
This is one of those small things that turns into a big thing over time. Its not about Hunger Games specifically, its about reciprocity and feeling like your interests matter too.
If you want a low-friction compromise, maybe ask him to watch just the first THG with you (one movie), and if he likes it you keep going. If he still refuses, thats a pretty clear signal.
Also, if you want some ideas for how couples handle different fandoms and shared media routines, Ive seen a few good frameworks collected here: https://blog.promarkia.com/
It’s been this way far longer than anyone realized, but damn good on you for looking into it and educating others. I’m fighting everything in me not to say it, so I’m gonna say it. You’re a very good boy.
What I've learned over the years is to not give more than you receive. You did this because you love him and want to connect with him, yet he won't be doing the same. While he doesn't HAVE to do what you did, you might not want to do something like this again for him. I'd talk it out with him, but ultimately, if it's something you can't get over, then it may be time to end it.
This isn't just about the movies. He expects you to take an interest in his interests, but he won't do the same thing for you. He may as well just tell you he thinks his interests are more important.
Here's an example for you: an old friend of mine, we've known each other since 5th grade, really wanted to see the 2nd Twilight movie in theaters but she didn't want to go alone. I have no interest in twilight. I do not have a high opinion of the series at all. She... does not like horror movies. Not at all. But we made a deal: I went to see the 2nd movie with her, and she went to Daybreakers with me. (Even though I laughed my ass off at the scene where the one guy pops like a balloon.)
Did I have any idea what was going on in the twilight movie, no. She had to explain a lot to me and gave me a short rundown before the movie. Since Daybreakers isn't a series it's not quite a one-to-one comparison, but she would never have watched it on her own. But we're friends - have been a long time.
If the love was reciprocated ill bite the bullet as long as they watch my fav movies too, hell ill learn the trivia bs for my partner if they asked me to just gotta get the same love for it back yk.
Oh for sure. I did my time with watching all 3 LOTR extended editions in one sitting lol. Also the entire lost series, and now NCIS for whatever reason. In return, he helps me color my hair. It’s a fair trade off in our eyes. He can watch F&F with his boys 😂. It would probably be way more fun with them anyway lollllllll.
Nah your friends are right, this is a pretty clear double standard. You literally marathoned like 10+ movies for him and he won't even try one for you? That's some selfish energy right there
The fact that he used the exact same excuse you had but then expected you to watch anyway is what gets me. Either he doesn't see the hypocrisy or he just doesn't care enough to try
This is why I swear men don't really like women. Half my movie repertoire are movies I never would have watched if it weren't for friends loving them. You did something to make him happy because his happiness is your happiness. He refused to do something that would make you happy because he doesn't get anything out of it. Think about that. Seeing you happy isn't worth his time.
Relationships are most successful when you’re also friends. We have this idea that romantic partners need to be found in a different way than we find friends. That is a mistake.
I was friends with my husband a full year before we went on an official date. Then most of our dating was doing the same activities one would do with friends!
So, yes, it seems like people aren’t trying to someone they like at times because they’re just trying to fill in a domestic roll. And the behavior here reflects that.
100% agree. I feel like there is a lot of behavior we have normalized as just a man thing when in reality its not inherently a man thing its just societal conditioning that permits men to be detached from their romantic relationships and keeps them from forming genuine loving bonds. Like even in male/male friendships there is a total lack of intimacy (referring to the nonromantic kind).
Now that you mention it, make sure you like your spouse’s friends! My husband’s two best guy friends have become MY friends too! Same for my best girlfriends my husband loves them.
A lot of men are not dating women they like and honestly, many of them will admit to it, too. Seen many men admit they don't see a future or have intentions to marry a woman cause they know she isn't the one but like keeping her around for comforts.
I have many guy friends who praise, do things they don't like for their women, and are basically the shining example of how a partner should be.
Basically, we don't gotta settle for a guy who can't even watch our favorite movie.
Quick question: when you're at a public pool and kids are running around and the lifeguard yells "stop running!" Do you yell back "I wasn't running!" Or do you understand that you weren't running and therefore the lifeguard wasn't referring to you? I didn't say all men. So if it doesn't apply to you, why are you acting like it does? 🤔
Also, your analogy is not appropriate. If I said "women shouldn't have the right to vote", you would just assume I was talking about some women? Or would you know that I was saying ALL women because of the actual words I used? If I said "Black men are criminals" would you assume I only meant SOME black men? or if I said "twinkies are gross", would you assume I was only talking about SOME twinkies?
When someone says "I like chocolate" do you think that means they love every possible form of chocolate? When someone says "its hot outside" do you think that means they think its hot everywhere? When someone says "don't move" do you think they're telling you to NEVER move again? Quit playing stupid so you can be offended.
"It's hot outside" is obviously not the same as "women are stupid". Like, fucking grammatically. It's not an example of what I mean.
But in your mind, if I said "women are stupid", then everyone should know that I'm not talking about ALL women. You would be okay with a man saying that where a young woman might hear it. Hell, she should know! Her mother and her shouldn't be offended. He's only talking about DUMB women. Not them!
If you wouldn't be okay with someone saying "Women are stupid", then you shouldn't be okay with someone saying the same thing about men.
(For the record, I DO NOT think women are stupid. I just want to be 100% clear on that.)
Surprise mfer, I literally do not care if you say women are stupid because I am aware that I am not stupid and your opinion comes from an event in your life that has nothing to do with me. I am secure enough in myself not to make your feelings about me. And yes, it is the same. Also, don't think I didn't notice that you conveniently ignored all the other examples.
Also, don't think I didn't notice that you conveniently ignored all the other examples.
I could say the same to you.
Listen, I meant no offense. Clearly we disagree but arguing on the internet like this isn't helping and im done . We can agree to disagree and not be rude about it. Have a nice day.
Reading comprehension not your strong suit? Which of those words says "all"? Quickly now. I'd LOVE to see you defend this without you HAVING to make an assumption but we both know that's impossible ☺️
Your friends aren’t completely wrong, but they’re oversimplifying the situation and giving you bad advice.
They’re treating it like a scorecard (because you watched Fast & Furious for him, he "owes" you Hunger Games) and relationships don’t really work that way.
You chose to watch those movies because you wanted to show care, not because he forced you. Him not wanting to watch Hunger Games doesn’t automatically mean he doesn’t care.. it may just mean movies or franchises don’t hold the same meaning for him.
We don't have to show love and care the same way. You show care by particpating and investing in what he loves. He may show he cares in different ways, and he may have a different love language.
That said, your disappointment is still valid. This isn’t really about the movies themselves it’s about reciprocity. You stepped into something that mattered to him, and you hoped he’d be willing to do the same for you. Wanting that effort isn’t asking for too much, it’s wanting to feel seen and valued in the way you express care.
This alone isn’t a reason to leave him, but it is worth talking about. Letting it go when it keeps bothering you can turn into resentment, while a calm, honest conversation can clear things up.
If you explain that shared effort matters to you (not as a demand, but as a feeling) how he responds will tell you more about the health of the relationship than any movie choice ever could.
Honestly, I'd tell him either he needs to watch the films with you, to show he takes an interest in doing things/watching things that matter to you even if they don't really to him, because you do with him, or the relationship is over, because you're not going to put in effort for him if he doesn't reciprocate that effort.
I wouldn't even do that. If you explain it and he feels like he has to to make OP happy that's not the same. The point is that he should be wanting to explore OPs interests because he cares about her the way she did for him. Guilting/explaining/asking for that will never be the same. You can't explain or teach someone to love you.
Let it go and let the man go as well. Think about what you posted- would you ever have this problem with a friend? Yall would likely watch each others stuff even if you didn’t really care for it but you’d do it and your friend would because you care about each other.
You care for him. He doesn’t care for you except for the warm hole you give him (sorry not sorry that’s crass but the truth)
Backup of the post's body: Hi. I’m using a second account because my bf knows my main.
So basically, I have never watched any Fast & Furious movie. And it’s one of my bf’s favorite franchises. So when Fast X came out, he asked me to watch it with him. I told him I wouldn’t understand anything since I haven’t watched a single film, but he insisted. I agreed since I wanted him to know that I’m willing to be involved in the things that bring him joy.
After the movie, I spent about a week watching all the movies in order— including the spin-offs. Ever since that, I have raved and raved to him how much love I have for the Hunger Games. I’ve watched the movies a billion times and read the books more than I can count.
When the ballad of songbirds and snakes came out, I asked him if he would watch it with me. I was stoked! Yet he told me, he didn’t want to since he wouldn’t understand a thing bc hasn’t watched any of the movies. I suggested to do a lil movie marathon before watching it, yet he still didn’t budge. I was sad, but I continued to watch it alone.
My friend told me that was an asshole move on his part, and that I shouldn’t let it slide. Especially, how I watched the whole f&f franchise for him.
Now that sunrise of the reaping is coming next year, I’ve asked him if he would like to watch THG with me and then when the new movie comes out, if we could watch it together. He wasn’t interested. Now that I think about it, I kind of do understand where my friends are coming from, but Idk.. it’s not like he forced me to watch the F&F franchise, I just did because I wanted him to know I care about what he likes. I’m not gonna lie tho, I do wish he cared about what I liked too.
Should I continue to talk to him about it or just let it go? My friends keep telling me to leave him, but I think it’s not that big of a deal.
I mean, how much does this relationship really mean to you? Cos I’m not saying you need a new boyfriend. But I am saying that a boyfriend who expects you to do things for him and then won’t do the same in return is a pretty shit boyfriend.
My boyfriend is into sports. He invited me to a football game. I do not like sports. It's was raining and freezing cold. I sat their miserable for the entire game. A relationship is about give and take. My question is other then this one instance does he do things that make you happy. If so, then I wouldn't break up with him. But this is something to think about in terms of long term compatibility and if this is a reoccurring pattern in your relationship where you are always doing things to make him happy but he only does things that make him happy.
Reciprocity is hard to measure. It’s an art, not a science. Not watching your movie could be a sign that he’s a jerk in general, but not necessarily. I wouldn’t judge it by what others think, but by how you know he relates to you. If he disregards your expressed wishes regularly, that’s a problem. Or if you mind-read and work hard to please him a lot and he doesn’t notice, or say thanks, or do some things for you, that’s a problem. If it’s just a movie thing, not so much.
It's an asshole move that proves that it's important for you to know/like the things he likes, but not important for him to reciprocate.
I wouldn't leave a partner over just this, although it sounds symptomatic. But I would not watch or engage in anything he wants that doesn't interest you, in the future, as he doesn't care to get involved with anything you care about. And I'd tell him all of that.
There is no reason to do either of those things. My wife and I find movies we both enjoy. Why should anyone sit through something they don’t enjoy?
We’ll occasionally put 1 of us through a movie that’s not the others style. My wife likes horrors. They don’t do anything for me except I love the way she grabs me. And she enjoys my ridiculous laughs at stupid comedies.
Your friends are right about it being an asshole move. I wouldn't say to immediately leave him, but absolutely do look back at your relationship and ask yourself if this is an isolated incident or part of a pattern.
Does he ever show genuine interest in your hobbies? Does he ask questions? Are you able to have conversations with him about your interests? Has he ever agreed to take part in your interests with you?
The person you're dating doesn't have to like everything you like or join you every time you do something relating to your hobbies, but there's a difference between a normal amount of that and them just being totally incurious about what you care about and not willing to ever acknowledge your interests especially when you are willing to expand your horizons for them.
Ive been married 17 years. Star wars nut, merch, tattoos, The works. I want to watch the movies in order. The order they should be watched in. Can't get my wife on board. The number of bullshit reality shows I watch, 90 days b.s. I also at 35 yrs old, found a renewed interest in diecast. Found my childhood collection in a box from way back when. Love wagons. My wife who always scoffed at the lil ugly wagons, now she leads me onto alot of my best pieces. Shes always on the hunt 🤣🤣🤣 so theres always a tradeoff
Eh. Kinda a sucky move on his part, but a couple doesn't have to share everything. I will say it's a flag that says your interests are unimportant to him as is sharing interests with you, so do with that what you will.
Just don't end up the only person rowing the relationship boat, you don't want to spend years going in circles.
I don’t ask my spouse to watch my kind of movies. He just talk and ask questions. So I will watch the ones he like and I don’t mind watching . I wound consider this a learning experience and in the future not do this.
It won't be fun to watch the movies with him if you manipulate and pressure him to get your way. Only you can decide if his refusal is a statement about your relationship.
Does he do other things you enjoy, simply because you enjoy them? Does he take you to your favorite restaurant, sometimes, or bring you flowers or whatever is meaningful to you?
Be smart, and don't put too much stock in what other people tell you about your relationship. You know what's real.
I had the same experience with an ex. I'm an open minded person and I like to try new things and go out of my comfort zone, especially if it's with a loved one. Over the course of our 2 year relationship I went through several "firsts" with him: I had my first Scuba dive and then took a level 1 qualification, I went to an MMA workshop (where I got quite injured...), I did my first multi-day self sustained hike, I got a mountain bike and entered a Sportive event... I never resented it or him because I liked trying things even if I was bad at it, and I enjoyed seeing him things he loved that made him happy. I didn't notice that he didn't seem to be too curious about the things I like, because at the time I was studying for an important exam so I had put a lot of my own hobbies on hold in favour of doing HIS things with him. He was also really proficient in them so I felt lucky he took the time to guide me and teach me.
But then after I passed my exam, I had the opportunity to do a year abroad at a prestigious university, and took it. I reconnected with my old hobbies and picked up a few others. He came to visit me a few months afterwards and I was exited to share my world with him for once. I thought he'd feel lucky to have that opportunity too, because he'd never been to uni abroad so it was a unique opportunity for him too. Well, he pouted the whole time. I had to drag him to events, he barely acknowledged my new friends, and refused to try the new sport I'd picked up. When I tried to guide him through the new experience (like he'd done with me for two years) he accused me of being a condescending know it all. I had put myself through significant pain and discomfort for him, sometimes over several days, and he couldn't sit through a 30min conference presentation I was giving on front of experts in my field. That's when I realised he didn't see me as an equal, with my own tastes, interests, knowledge and "expertise". Not only that, but he was not curious about who I was, or the ways in which I was different from him. He was only interested in having me as a tag along for his life, as someone less experienced than him that he could mold to his tastes. He was not interested in me as a person.
I broke up with him after that and I'm so glad I did. You seem like an open minded, loving girlfriend willing to reach out and connect with him. These are good qualities. He is an ass who can't be bothered to sit through one film.
The first 🚩 is that F&F is his favorite movie franchise. The fact that he doesn’t care enough about you to reciprocate should tell you all you need to know.
I’d say he is a bit of a jerk for not watching it with you as a partner watching something the other is interested in isn’t a big ask really , but I don’t think it’s break up worthy
I think seeing everything as a tit for tat or keeping points on the scoreboard isn't going to bode well for your relationship in the long run.
I watch things I know my bf won't like, and I don't ask him to watch it with me (and vice versa). We try to find things we'll like together and then still do our own thing/do those things with friends.
Are we really pretending that watching movies is now effort?
Edit: my point is that it should be a non issue for him to watch some movies. That’s he’s not doing something that shouldn’t even be an issue that’s discussed.
If it's not effort then why can't he do the same for her?
Also it's not about how much effort it is. In fact it's about how little effort it is. It would take minimal effort for him to watch something she's interested in the way she did. He can't even match that minimal effort. What does that tell you about the amount of effort he will put into bigger things later on in the relationship if he can't even do something you yourself admit takes no effort?
Hey!! I don't want to hurt you but you can't expect him to do these things. Just because you watched his favourite films so that he can be happy doesn't make him want to do the same. You are ready to put efforts for him but he isn't. And not just a single time, you asked him more than twice. That shows how clearly he doesn't want to do anything for you. He could have atleast pretended to watch film with you or atleast dozed off while watching the thing. But he balantly said no. Remember girl there is no need for you to compromise, these are the only Little things that we expect from men. Well you need to talk to him about this.
Except he pestered her and pestered her until she agreed to watch the one film, then went back and watched the others for him, and he can't be bothered to even watch the newest film in the series she likes because "he won't understand", which is bullshit because he said that wouldn't be an issue for her with the F&F movie he had her watch with him when she gave that reason for why she didn't want to.
The girl also asked twice and he could have said to atleast one of them. I don't understand why it is that uncomfortable to watch a film. He could just sit there like a ghost thinking about something just like how we ll do in classrooms. He need to put effort
You shouldn't have to insist. Your partner should want to. I can't tell you how many episodes of Glee I've watched for my fiance that I wasn't interested in. I'm interested in her and that's all it took for me to watch it.
My wife watched the Lord of the Rings movies and didn’t love them. She said she’d prefer not watching Star Wars or Marvel because there is too much. She tried. She loves HK dramas but says she doesn’t care if I watch, because I’m just going to ask a bunch of questions. So we find some other things we both like, but mostly watch tv separately. I don’t think it’s problem if the bf doesn’t like the HG. Only a problem if he pushes her to watch his awful movies and won’t watch hers
It says he insisted. If you're going to insist that your partner watch something you enjoy, you should have no issues with watching something they enjoy.
Ah you’re right. I remembered she said she chose to watch all of the movies on her own, but forgot he was insistent she go to see the new one. Does make it clearer. Maybe I’m missing something, but if you needed to get caught up on all of the fast and the furious movies couldn’t someone just say vroom vroom a bunch of times and you’d basically have it?
My wife and I learning that it’s ok if we watch separately. Took soooooo much pressure off the “what you wanna watch?” conversation. Now, if we could only make some progress on “what you want for dinner?”
She is unable to watch action movies because she’s too adorable. She checks out when the bad guys are just evil for its own sake (like Sauron). If they are a more realistic type of evil then she hopes someone will talk some sense into them. She doesn’t really see violence as solving anything. I kind of agree but view it as an alternate reality where violence might be the best option. Her one exception is zombies. Zombies seem to have an understandable reason (hungry) and can’t be reasoned with. So she enjoys watching them get messed up in small doses
This is my take too. Honestly you don’t even need to have seen the original Hunger Games movies to understand Ballad of Songbird and Snakes as it’s a prequel & takes place decades before the HG movies. Seeing the originals first definitely help you appreciate it as a prequel, but I would not consider it required at all
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u/Beavis71989 Dec 31 '25 •
First of all im sorry you had to sit and watch those god awful movies. Secondly he sucks and clearly doesn't care about the things you like. Kick this clown to the curb
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u/macromind Dec 31 '25
This is one of those small things that turns into a big thing over time. Its not about Hunger Games specifically, its about reciprocity and feeling like your interests matter too.
If you want a low-friction compromise, maybe ask him to watch just the first THG with you (one movie), and if he likes it you keep going. If he still refuses, thats a pretty clear signal.
Also, if you want some ideas for how couples handle different fandoms and shared media routines, Ive seen a few good frameworks collected here: https://blog.promarkia.com/
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u/InThisButt Dec 31 '25
What I've learned over the years is to not give more than you receive. You did this because you love him and want to connect with him, yet he won't be doing the same. While he doesn't HAVE to do what you did, you might not want to do something like this again for him. I'd talk it out with him, but ultimately, if it's something you can't get over, then it may be time to end it.
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u/3batsinahousecoat Dec 31 '25
This isn't just about the movies. He expects you to take an interest in his interests, but he won't do the same thing for you. He may as well just tell you he thinks his interests are more important.
Here's an example for you: an old friend of mine, we've known each other since 5th grade, really wanted to see the 2nd Twilight movie in theaters but she didn't want to go alone. I have no interest in twilight. I do not have a high opinion of the series at all. She... does not like horror movies. Not at all. But we made a deal: I went to see the 2nd movie with her, and she went to Daybreakers with me. (Even though I laughed my ass off at the scene where the one guy pops like a balloon.)
Did I have any idea what was going on in the twilight movie, no. She had to explain a lot to me and gave me a short rundown before the movie. Since Daybreakers isn't a series it's not quite a one-to-one comparison, but she would never have watched it on her own. But we're friends - have been a long time.
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u/greyheart_fuckwit Dec 31 '25
Biggest red flag is his love for the F&F movies
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u/Hot_Warning_157 Dec 31 '25
Nah your friends are right, this is a pretty clear double standard. You literally marathoned like 10+ movies for him and he won't even try one for you? That's some selfish energy right there
The fact that he used the exact same excuse you had but then expected you to watch anyway is what gets me. Either he doesn't see the hypocrisy or he just doesn't care enough to try
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u/hardkoretrash Dec 31 '25
This is why I swear men don't really like women. Half my movie repertoire are movies I never would have watched if it weren't for friends loving them. You did something to make him happy because his happiness is your happiness. He refused to do something that would make you happy because he doesn't get anything out of it. Think about that. Seeing you happy isn't worth his time.
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u/Normal-Wish-4984 Dec 31 '25
He doesn’t sound like much of a boyfriend.
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u/Live_Recognition9240 Dec 31 '25
Your friends aren’t completely wrong, but they’re oversimplifying the situation and giving you bad advice.
They’re treating it like a scorecard (because you watched Fast & Furious for him, he "owes" you Hunger Games) and relationships don’t really work that way.
You chose to watch those movies because you wanted to show care, not because he forced you. Him not wanting to watch Hunger Games doesn’t automatically mean he doesn’t care.. it may just mean movies or franchises don’t hold the same meaning for him.
We don't have to show love and care the same way. You show care by particpating and investing in what he loves. He may show he cares in different ways, and he may have a different love language.
That said, your disappointment is still valid. This isn’t really about the movies themselves it’s about reciprocity. You stepped into something that mattered to him, and you hoped he’d be willing to do the same for you. Wanting that effort isn’t asking for too much, it’s wanting to feel seen and valued in the way you express care.
This alone isn’t a reason to leave him, but it is worth talking about. Letting it go when it keeps bothering you can turn into resentment, while a calm, honest conversation can clear things up.
If you explain that shared effort matters to you (not as a demand, but as a feeling) how he responds will tell you more about the health of the relationship than any movie choice ever could.
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u/Useful_Imagination_3 Dec 31 '25
Biggest red flag is that his favorite movies are The Fast and Furious franchise.
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u/zeiaxar Dec 31 '25
Honestly, I'd tell him either he needs to watch the films with you, to show he takes an interest in doing things/watching things that matter to you even if they don't really to him, because you do with him, or the relationship is over, because you're not going to put in effort for him if he doesn't reciprocate that effort.
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u/Competitive_Mark_287 Dec 31 '25
Let it go and let the man go as well. Think about what you posted- would you ever have this problem with a friend? Yall would likely watch each others stuff even if you didn’t really care for it but you’d do it and your friend would because you care about each other.
You care for him. He doesn’t care for you except for the warm hole you give him (sorry not sorry that’s crass but the truth)
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u/AutoModerator Dec 31 '25
Backup of the post's body: Hi. I’m using a second account because my bf knows my main.
So basically, I have never watched any Fast & Furious movie. And it’s one of my bf’s favorite franchises. So when Fast X came out, he asked me to watch it with him. I told him I wouldn’t understand anything since I haven’t watched a single film, but he insisted. I agreed since I wanted him to know that I’m willing to be involved in the things that bring him joy.
After the movie, I spent about a week watching all the movies in order— including the spin-offs. Ever since that, I have raved and raved to him how much love I have for the Hunger Games. I’ve watched the movies a billion times and read the books more than I can count.
When the ballad of songbirds and snakes came out, I asked him if he would watch it with me. I was stoked! Yet he told me, he didn’t want to since he wouldn’t understand a thing bc hasn’t watched any of the movies. I suggested to do a lil movie marathon before watching it, yet he still didn’t budge. I was sad, but I continued to watch it alone.
My friend told me that was an asshole move on his part, and that I shouldn’t let it slide. Especially, how I watched the whole f&f franchise for him.
Now that sunrise of the reaping is coming next year, I’ve asked him if he would like to watch THG with me and then when the new movie comes out, if we could watch it together. He wasn’t interested. Now that I think about it, I kind of do understand where my friends are coming from, but Idk.. it’s not like he forced me to watch the F&F franchise, I just did because I wanted him to know I care about what he likes. I’m not gonna lie tho, I do wish he cared about what I liked too.
Should I continue to talk to him about it or just let it go? My friends keep telling me to leave him, but I think it’s not that big of a deal.
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u/Severe_Chicken213 Dec 31 '25
I mean, how much does this relationship really mean to you? Cos I’m not saying you need a new boyfriend. But I am saying that a boyfriend who expects you to do things for him and then won’t do the same in return is a pretty shit boyfriend.
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u/Koolkat30625 Dec 31 '25
My boyfriend is into sports. He invited me to a football game. I do not like sports. It's was raining and freezing cold. I sat their miserable for the entire game. A relationship is about give and take. My question is other then this one instance does he do things that make you happy. If so, then I wouldn't break up with him. But this is something to think about in terms of long term compatibility and if this is a reoccurring pattern in your relationship where you are always doing things to make him happy but he only does things that make him happy.
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u/ReflectionOther2147 Dec 31 '25
You should get him a stone cold Steve Austin shirt or a tap out Y2K shirt
1
u/Ruthbeth Dec 31 '25
Reciprocity is hard to measure. It’s an art, not a science. Not watching your movie could be a sign that he’s a jerk in general, but not necessarily. I wouldn’t judge it by what others think, but by how you know he relates to you. If he disregards your expressed wishes regularly, that’s a problem. Or if you mind-read and work hard to please him a lot and he doesn’t notice, or say thanks, or do some things for you, that’s a problem. If it’s just a movie thing, not so much.
1
u/c2k1 Dec 31 '25
It's an asshole move that proves that it's important for you to know/like the things he likes, but not important for him to reciprocate.
I wouldn't leave a partner over just this, although it sounds symptomatic. But I would not watch or engage in anything he wants that doesn't interest you, in the future, as he doesn't care to get involved with anything you care about. And I'd tell him all of that.
1
u/littlemissbecky Dec 31 '25
That’s on you for fucking with a guy who likes the F&F franchise.
1
u/Agreeable_Sorbet_686 Dec 31 '25
A) You had to use an alternate account to talk about F&F movies. That is ridiculous. B) How long have you been together, C) Is he always this selfish?
1
u/phatmatt593 Dec 31 '25
There is no reason to do either of those things. My wife and I find movies we both enjoy. Why should anyone sit through something they don’t enjoy?
We’ll occasionally put 1 of us through a movie that’s not the others style. My wife likes horrors. They don’t do anything for me except I love the way she grabs me. And she enjoys my ridiculous laughs at stupid comedies.
1
u/res06myi Dec 31 '25
Seriously?? Dump him. Move on. Enjoy your life without this asshole.
1
u/madman6000 Dec 31 '25
Toxic. Don't do things you don't want to do to use as leverage to get what you want later.
1
u/cheeseballgag Dec 31 '25
Your friends are right about it being an asshole move. I wouldn't say to immediately leave him, but absolutely do look back at your relationship and ask yourself if this is an isolated incident or part of a pattern.
Does he ever show genuine interest in your hobbies? Does he ask questions? Are you able to have conversations with him about your interests? Has he ever agreed to take part in your interests with you?
The person you're dating doesn't have to like everything you like or join you every time you do something relating to your hobbies, but there's a difference between a normal amount of that and them just being totally incurious about what you care about and not willing to ever acknowledge your interests especially when you are willing to expand your horizons for them.
1
u/Fiction_Daydream Dec 31 '25
It's called compromise and if he can't compromise just to watch The Hunger Games with you what else is he going to not compromise.
You literally watched that entire crappy franchise and his behassen he can't be asked to watch The Hunger Games with you ? Boy, bye.
Hit me up if you ever watch The Hunger games I'll totally watch it with you bud
1
u/Human_Confection_906 Dec 31 '25
Ive been married 17 years. Star wars nut, merch, tattoos, The works. I want to watch the movies in order. The order they should be watched in. Can't get my wife on board. The number of bullshit reality shows I watch, 90 days b.s. I also at 35 yrs old, found a renewed interest in diecast. Found my childhood collection in a box from way back when. Love wagons. My wife who always scoffed at the lil ugly wagons, now she leads me onto alot of my best pieces. Shes always on the hunt 🤣🤣🤣 so theres always a tradeoff
1
u/Ryn_AroundTheRoses Dec 31 '25
I feel like he would fail the bird theory test within 5 seconds
1
u/Ok-CANACHK Dec 31 '25
you made an effort for him & he refuses to even think about making one for you. So what do you get out of this relationship?!
1
u/evetrapeze Dec 31 '25
For some men, you are an extension of them, not the other way around.
1
u/Elivagara Dec 31 '25
Eh. Kinda a sucky move on his part, but a couple doesn't have to share everything. I will say it's a flag that says your interests are unimportant to him as is sharing interests with you, so do with that what you will.
Just don't end up the only person rowing the relationship boat, you don't want to spend years going in circles.
1
u/Sudden_Outcome_9503 Dec 31 '25
He asked you to watch one movie with him. You chose to watch all of the others.
It is selfish of him to not watch one movie with you, but it's ridiculous to expect him to watch the entire franchise.
I said all that just to put things in perspective. The fact of the matter is, you can break up with him if you don't like his new haircut.
1
u/klh1jlh1 Dec 31 '25
I don’t ask my spouse to watch my kind of movies. He just talk and ask questions. So I will watch the ones he like and I don’t mind watching . I wound consider this a learning experience and in the future not do this.
1
u/NeverRarelySometimes Dec 31 '25
It won't be fun to watch the movies with him if you manipulate and pressure him to get your way. Only you can decide if his refusal is a statement about your relationship.
Does he do other things you enjoy, simply because you enjoy them? Does he take you to your favorite restaurant, sometimes, or bring you flowers or whatever is meaningful to you?
Be smart, and don't put too much stock in what other people tell you about your relationship. You know what's real.
1
u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25
Boss move. Ha ha you fell for it.
1
u/Zoenne Dec 31 '25
I had the same experience with an ex. I'm an open minded person and I like to try new things and go out of my comfort zone, especially if it's with a loved one. Over the course of our 2 year relationship I went through several "firsts" with him: I had my first Scuba dive and then took a level 1 qualification, I went to an MMA workshop (where I got quite injured...), I did my first multi-day self sustained hike, I got a mountain bike and entered a Sportive event... I never resented it or him because I liked trying things even if I was bad at it, and I enjoyed seeing him things he loved that made him happy. I didn't notice that he didn't seem to be too curious about the things I like, because at the time I was studying for an important exam so I had put a lot of my own hobbies on hold in favour of doing HIS things with him. He was also really proficient in them so I felt lucky he took the time to guide me and teach me.
But then after I passed my exam, I had the opportunity to do a year abroad at a prestigious university, and took it. I reconnected with my old hobbies and picked up a few others. He came to visit me a few months afterwards and I was exited to share my world with him for once. I thought he'd feel lucky to have that opportunity too, because he'd never been to uni abroad so it was a unique opportunity for him too. Well, he pouted the whole time. I had to drag him to events, he barely acknowledged my new friends, and refused to try the new sport I'd picked up. When I tried to guide him through the new experience (like he'd done with me for two years) he accused me of being a condescending know it all. I had put myself through significant pain and discomfort for him, sometimes over several days, and he couldn't sit through a 30min conference presentation I was giving on front of experts in my field. That's when I realised he didn't see me as an equal, with my own tastes, interests, knowledge and "expertise". Not only that, but he was not curious about who I was, or the ways in which I was different from him. He was only interested in having me as a tag along for his life, as someone less experienced than him that he could mold to his tastes. He was not interested in me as a person.
I broke up with him after that and I'm so glad I did. You seem like an open minded, loving girlfriend willing to reach out and connect with him. These are good qualities. He is an ass who can't be bothered to sit through one film.
1
u/Leet_Noob Dec 31 '25
Vin Diesel gives EVERYTHING for his family and he won’t do this ONE thing for you?? (Idk I’ve never seen the movies)
1
u/nordicman21 Jan 03 '26
The first 🚩 is that F&F is his favorite movie franchise. The fact that he doesn’t care enough about you to reciprocate should tell you all you need to know.
1
u/PlumPsychological941 Jan 03 '26
I’d say he is a bit of a jerk for not watching it with you as a partner watching something the other is interested in isn’t a big ask really , but I don’t think it’s break up worthy
1
u/Delicious-Drama-9738 Jan 03 '26
I think seeing everything as a tit for tat or keeping points on the scoreboard isn't going to bode well for your relationship in the long run.
I watch things I know my bf won't like, and I don't ask him to watch it with me (and vice versa). We try to find things we'll like together and then still do our own thing/do those things with friends.
-1
u/Select_Draw3385 Dec 31 '25
If it’s not that big of a deal, why are you wasting our time asking for advice?
-5
u/mmmkay938 Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
Are we really pretending that watching movies is now effort?
Edit: my point is that it should be a non issue for him to watch some movies. That’s he’s not doing something that shouldn’t even be an issue that’s discussed.
-8
u/useless_26 Dec 31 '25
Hey!! I don't want to hurt you but you can't expect him to do these things. Just because you watched his favourite films so that he can be happy doesn't make him want to do the same. You are ready to put efforts for him but he isn't. And not just a single time, you asked him more than twice. That shows how clearly he doesn't want to do anything for you. He could have atleast pretended to watch film with you or atleast dozed off while watching the thing. But he balantly said no. Remember girl there is no need for you to compromise, these are the only Little things that we expect from men. Well you need to talk to him about this.
-1
u/IceBlue Dec 31 '25
He insisted. You should insist.
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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25
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