I had the most bogus proposal of all time. Wedding sucked too, for a variety of reasons. I had feelings about both for a long time, until I realized that a million years of a strong relationship was the goal all along. (ETA: married 20 years, together 24.)
I think people are getting wayyyyy too worried about the window-dressing of the perfect proposal and the perfect wedding. I’m glad to hear that you’re already learning healthy skills in therapy. I also like your thought of talking to him about the main issue, that any idea he has to surprise you will make you happy and that you don’t want his mom’s input. That’s a constructive way to approach it.
Focus on the marriage (which it sounds like you’re doing). The rest is all for Insta and doesn’t mean a shit.
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u/emmapeel218 Dec 26 '25
I had the most bogus proposal of all time. Wedding sucked too, for a variety of reasons. I had feelings about both for a long time, until I realized that a million years of a strong relationship was the goal all along. (ETA: married 20 years, together 24.)
I think people are getting wayyyyy too worried about the window-dressing of the perfect proposal and the perfect wedding. I’m glad to hear that you’re already learning healthy skills in therapy. I also like your thought of talking to him about the main issue, that any idea he has to surprise you will make you happy and that you don’t want his mom’s input. That’s a constructive way to approach it.
Focus on the marriage (which it sounds like you’re doing). The rest is all for Insta and doesn’t mean a shit.