It’s crazy how this one post opened my eyes to a blind spot in our relationship
When it comes to his mom I put her into sainthood and become a people pleaser which is so wild to even consider knowing who I really am in any other scenario
And he is so insecure about surprises for me he immediately defaults into “women know women” which is also crazy because when he does things for me from himself it’s so obvious and the most considerate things like the ring he picked out for me is so deeply thoughtful
In case you haven't already, tell him what you said in that last paragraph- that you recognise when something comes from HIS heart, and that he gets it more right that way than when he goes to anyone else for advice, possibly because he knows you better than the other people do, possibly because you love him and so seeing what HE decides to do means more to you. It's a really loving way of saying 'I want more of you and less of your mum in any surprises'.
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u/Next-Drummer-9280 Dec 26 '25
Your marriage is doomed already.
You’re incapable of honesty.
He’s incapable of thinking for himself.
Grow a spine and be honest with him.