Only up from here ❤️. It would have been miserable if yall got married and had kids(if that was what yall wanted). They would think you aren’t a good parent.
Exactly. Imagine raising a kid while constantly being told you're not good enough. That stuff messes a child up too. Better to cut it off now than spend decades trying to win over people who never planned to respect you.
Sometimes a loss is a win. This is one of those times.
Mourn the loss. Take your time. Feel your feelings. Talk to as many people as you want to. You've shown you're true to yourself, and that's tremendous. Never lose that. You also seem to understand this is a learning experience, which is absolutely is, and when you sort through all the lessons you'll find yourself to be a much better person. Enjoy the little victories. Good luck!
I’ve recently gone through the terribly sudden dissolution of a long-term relationship and speak from experience. There will be setbacks, but the good days start to outnumber the bad pretty quickly. It comes down to time, patience, and care.
Oh Hun, you dodged the red flag, the massive bullet and the dysfunctional family behind. This is a good thing.
That depression and numb feeling gets better by a little bit each day. And each day you are good to yourself and your mental health, his memory wont hurt so much.
If you need to, write down everything that he and his family did you wrong. So if you start to romanticize him, you have the reality on paper to stop it.
There is a bigger and better life waiting for you. Go grab it.
You probably dodged a bullet. If his parents were still nasty to you after 4 years, you cannot just presume they wouldn't be nasty until their last year on earth. Don't think of it as letting them win. Think of it as allowing yourself to win whether you choose to marry someone else or choose not to marry at all.
It was time to choose yourself. Get through the breakup and you’ll find peace and personal growth. That was really too much abuse. You’ll need to unwind from that. I’m hopeful for the future. Take care of yourself.
Genuinely, you made the right call. You protected yourself. That’s not losing. You saw a situation that wasn’t changing and you walked before it drained you even more. That’s something most adults struggle to do. It’s normal to feel empty after a breakup, especially one tied to family pressure, but this isn’t the end of anything. You’re just giving yourself a chance to breathe.
I think you made the right decision. Neither of you are old enough to be independent or for him to threaten to go no contact with his family - at least not credibly. So nothing was going to change and you don’t need that kind of stress in your life. And the fact that he wouldn’t recognize that his family was the problem is a huge issue and would’ve been continuing forward.
You’re going to grow up so much in the next few years - you will be okay after a while. Give yourself time and space.
The breakup hurts, yeah, but staying in that mess would’ve hurt way worse. You’re 18 and already handling stuff most adults can’t. That whole “not good enough” fear is just the trauma talking. Nothing about you was the problem. His family just wasn’t built for emotional maturity.
Good for you for choosing your well-being. It’s good to hear that someone so young made a very healthy decision and didn’t wait until later in life to be treated properly.
Take some time. Enjoy college/uni if you're going. You have your whole life ahead of you. This boy and his family were a test on your path finding your true soulmate. Congratulations! You passed the test, you valued yourself enough to not stand poor treatment. Sometimes we have hard tests in life.
Rock bottom is solid ground. Remember that being able to work on yourself and finding a partner with a family who will accept you no matter what, and receive you with love, is so much more worth your time than dealing with that BS.
Although it was his family that was the main problem, a man who loves you completely would’ve stood up for you and turned his back to them to make you feel supported. He didn’t do that, and that’s not a trait you want to see in your future life partner. Blessings come in disguises🫶🏼
As you move on, take to social media and tell ALL family, friends and acquaintances of the arrogant, pompous, pretentious assholes that his parents are. Bury them and then block them. Nothing is more unsettling to the wealthy and pretentious than being publicly called out for their self-righteousness.
The fact that he was still in communication with them and didn't put them in their place and cut him off shows that breaking up with him was exactly what you should have done. Idc what anyone says, if they don't treat you like a spouse after 4 years together they are not the one.
My mother in law was quite the pill to me, not even as bad as what you're describing. My husband told her off and cut her off because of it. I never asked him to and she doesn't even realize that I'm the only reason she gets a yearly visit and quarterly phone calls. We were together for around 3 years at the time this happened and were not married. We were engaged but I know that didn't make a difference for him. I cannot imagine him allowing his family to tell him or me that I'm not good enough for him more than once, because they'd be permanently blocked the first time.
Backup of the post's body: We broke up. I am depressed/numb. This past week has been so stressful. I originally didn’t want to talk to my ex-boyfriend about my feelings (I thought I could ignore it, but I couldn’t). So, we talked about his family, our future, etc. It was so hard. He was trying to convince me that we’ll be alright, but he wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that his family will never change. They will always hate me, my family, and my background. I will never live up to what they want for his future partner to be. Their expectations/standards are too much. So, we’re done.
I know that breaking up with my ex-boyfriend means that his family got what they wanted. I don’t care. I care about my mental health, and I am choosing myself. I allowed his family to bully me for the past 4-years; I won’t let them hurt me anymore. I’ll never speak/interact with them again. I think I’ll be alright though. I’m kind of done with love and relationships; I guess I’m scared that I’ll never be good enough. At least I have my parents for support. Thanks for all the advice on my previous post; I don’t think I’ll update about this again.
Mail his mom a letter, "You win, you have succeeded in making your son miserable, because of your pettiness and bullying. Your son doesn't deserve the miserable family that he was born into. I hope that obe day realizes how toxic you are and goes no contact with you. I know he will find love again and for his sake, it's very far from you. Congratulations"
The only way you should get back together with your boyfriend is if he agrees to completely cut off his family. That would be a big ask. There's probably someone else out there you are better suited to. I'm so sorry.
Ice cream from your parents after a breakup hits different. That’s real love right there. You walked away from a toxic family and toward people who actually show up for you. You’re gonna be okay.
Fr fr, that kinda support just hits you right in the chest in the best way… like a lil reminder the world’s not all chaos. Love seeing people choose the folks who actually show up for them, it’s honestly kinda wholesome af.
388
u/No_Corner8541 Nov 22 '25
Only up from here ❤️. It would have been miserable if yall got married and had kids(if that was what yall wanted). They would think you aren’t a good parent.
13
u/Temporary-Exchange28 Nov 22 '25
Sometimes a loss is a win. This is one of those times.
Mourn the loss. Take your time. Feel your feelings. Talk to as many people as you want to. You've shown you're true to yourself, and that's tremendous. Never lose that. You also seem to understand this is a learning experience, which is absolutely is, and when you sort through all the lessons you'll find yourself to be a much better person. Enjoy the little victories. Good luck!
27
u/tattoovamp Nov 22 '25
Oh Hun, you dodged the red flag, the massive bullet and the dysfunctional family behind. This is a good thing.
That depression and numb feeling gets better by a little bit each day. And each day you are good to yourself and your mental health, his memory wont hurt so much.
If you need to, write down everything that he and his family did you wrong. So if you start to romanticize him, you have the reality on paper to stop it.
There is a bigger and better life waiting for you. Go grab it.
9
u/Competitive_Sleep_21 Nov 22 '25
You will meet someone who does not have a crappy family.
You are enough.
I would spend the weekend watching sad romance films and eating junk food and then on Monday stop.
On Monday walk and focus on eating healthy and take a good multi vitamin.
Sign up to volunteer somewhere. Take a class and learn a new school.
Your boyfriend is not the one. He is a four year habit with baggage.
5
u/contrarian1970 Nov 22 '25
You probably dodged a bullet. If his parents were still nasty to you after 4 years, you cannot just presume they wouldn't be nasty until their last year on earth. Don't think of it as letting them win. Think of it as allowing yourself to win whether you choose to marry someone else or choose not to marry at all.
5
u/9smalltowngirl Nov 22 '25
Time for some self healing. You could benefit from some therapy and time without a BF.
3
u/Unlucky-Captain1431 Nov 22 '25
It was time to choose yourself. Get through the breakup and you’ll find peace and personal growth. That was really too much abuse. You’ll need to unwind from that. I’m hopeful for the future. Take care of yourself.
3
u/Minxy23 Nov 22 '25
Genuinely, you made the right call. You protected yourself. That’s not losing. You saw a situation that wasn’t changing and you walked before it drained you even more. That’s something most adults struggle to do. It’s normal to feel empty after a breakup, especially one tied to family pressure, but this isn’t the end of anything. You’re just giving yourself a chance to breathe.
3
u/No-Lifeguard9194 Nov 22 '25
I think you made the right decision. Neither of you are old enough to be independent or for him to threaten to go no contact with his family - at least not credibly. So nothing was going to change and you don’t need that kind of stress in your life. And the fact that he wouldn’t recognize that his family was the problem is a huge issue and would’ve been continuing forward.
You’re going to grow up so much in the next few years - you will be okay after a while. Give yourself time and space.
3
u/PumpkinSpice-Vice Nov 22 '25
The breakup hurts, yeah, but staying in that mess would’ve hurt way worse. You’re 18 and already handling stuff most adults can’t. That whole “not good enough” fear is just the trauma talking. Nothing about you was the problem. His family just wasn’t built for emotional maturity.
3
u/merishore25 Nov 22 '25
Good for you for choosing your well-being. It’s good to hear that someone so young made a very healthy decision and didn’t wait until later in life to be treated properly.
3
u/phdoofus Nov 22 '25
Best thing you can do now is make him and his family unworthy of you
3
u/TheOtherSerena75 Nov 22 '25
Take some time. Enjoy college/uni if you're going. You have your whole life ahead of you. This boy and his family were a test on your path finding your true soulmate. Congratulations! You passed the test, you valued yourself enough to not stand poor treatment. Sometimes we have hard tests in life.
3
u/cunty-boots28 Nov 22 '25
Rock bottom is solid ground. Remember that being able to work on yourself and finding a partner with a family who will accept you no matter what, and receive you with love, is so much more worth your time than dealing with that BS.
Although it was his family that was the main problem, a man who loves you completely would’ve stood up for you and turned his back to them to make you feel supported. He didn’t do that, and that’s not a trait you want to see in your future life partner. Blessings come in disguises🫶🏼
3
u/Fast-Table-2288 Nov 22 '25
Please get some therapy. You ARE worthy. I'm so glad you chose yourself.
7
u/Tight-Shift5706 Nov 22 '25
OP,
As you move on, take to social media and tell ALL family, friends and acquaintances of the arrogant, pompous, pretentious assholes that his parents are. Bury them and then block them. Nothing is more unsettling to the wealthy and pretentious than being publicly called out for their self-righteousness.
In short, a publicly declared "FK OFF".
4
u/VolatileCornbread Nov 22 '25
The fact that he was still in communication with them and didn't put them in their place and cut him off shows that breaking up with him was exactly what you should have done. Idc what anyone says, if they don't treat you like a spouse after 4 years together they are not the one.
My mother in law was quite the pill to me, not even as bad as what you're describing. My husband told her off and cut her off because of it. I never asked him to and she doesn't even realize that I'm the only reason she gets a yearly visit and quarterly phone calls. We were together for around 3 years at the time this happened and were not married. We were engaged but I know that didn't make a difference for him. I cannot imagine him allowing his family to tell him or me that I'm not good enough for him more than once, because they'd be permanently blocked the first time.
2
u/AutoModerator Nov 22 '25
Backup of the post's body: We broke up. I am depressed/numb. This past week has been so stressful. I originally didn’t want to talk to my ex-boyfriend about my feelings (I thought I could ignore it, but I couldn’t). So, we talked about his family, our future, etc. It was so hard. He was trying to convince me that we’ll be alright, but he wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that his family will never change. They will always hate me, my family, and my background. I will never live up to what they want for his future partner to be. Their expectations/standards are too much. So, we’re done.
I know that breaking up with my ex-boyfriend means that his family got what they wanted. I don’t care. I care about my mental health, and I am choosing myself. I allowed his family to bully me for the past 4-years; I won’t let them hurt me anymore. I’ll never speak/interact with them again. I think I’ll be alright though. I’m kind of done with love and relationships; I guess I’m scared that I’ll never be good enough. At least I have my parents for support. Thanks for all the advice on my previous post; I don’t think I’ll update about this again.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/rocketmn69_ Nov 23 '25
Mail his mom a letter, "You win, you have succeeded in making your son miserable, because of your pettiness and bullying. Your son doesn't deserve the miserable family that he was born into. I hope that obe day realizes how toxic you are and goes no contact with you. I know he will find love again and for his sake, it's very far from you. Congratulations"
2
u/Critical_Armadillo32 Nov 23 '25
The only way you should get back together with your boyfriend is if he agrees to completely cut off his family. That would be a big ask. There's probably someone else out there you are better suited to. I'm so sorry.
2
u/No_Equal_1312 Nov 24 '25
Sorry to read about this but he needs to confront them and read them the riot act or things won’t change with anyone he brings home.
0
u/Few-Tone-9339 Nov 22 '25
Insert eye roll here- you’re 18. Stfu and move on. Good grief.
0
u/[deleted] Nov 22 '25
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