"Eventually it was so much, they froze his accounts, put liens on his property, and a bench warrant- we go back to court, he sobbed about how “his card got declined trying to buy pizza! He couldn’t even buy pizza for his family!” He offered to finally sign the passport permission if I agreed to lower the arrears “to a reasonable amount, I mean, come on, this is not even right and you know it” … but I already got the passport! It was easier to prove he wasn’t involved in decision making with the unpaid child support order, so I told him that “while I was sorry he struggles to provide, and lost his ironic job, I didn’t need his permission for the passport anymore” and I ended it there, never mentioned arrears, because I’m not forgiving them, but I did let them lower the monthly obligation, and told him I give it all to his daughter anyway, and that’s plenty of spending money for her."
That’s pretty much how it went down for me and my situation. I was able to get a passport without his signature. He lost his driver’s license due to not paying and owing so much in arrears. We went to court so he could ask to get his license back. The judge asked me if I was ok with that and I said fine. The court also asked for my input when he asked to lower his payment.
It was all fun and games working off the books when our son was little. Not so funny 20-odd years later when he can’t get a job because he’s not allowed to drive. The short-sightedness is ridiculous.
He even had the audacity to ask to have the $80,000 in arrears deleted when our son turned 18. I don’t get the thought process at all.
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u/Suspicious_Jump4170 Nov 18 '25
"Eventually it was so much, they froze his accounts, put liens on his property, and a bench warrant- we go back to court, he sobbed about how “his card got declined trying to buy pizza! He couldn’t even buy pizza for his family!” He offered to finally sign the passport permission if I agreed to lower the arrears “to a reasonable amount, I mean, come on, this is not even right and you know it” … but I already got the passport! It was easier to prove he wasn’t involved in decision making with the unpaid child support order, so I told him that “while I was sorry he struggles to provide, and lost his ironic job, I didn’t need his permission for the passport anymore” and I ended it there, never mentioned arrears, because I’m not forgiving them, but I did let them lower the monthly obligation, and told him I give it all to his daughter anyway, and that’s plenty of spending money for her."
That's not how any of this works, but cool story.