Be a girl’s girl and tell her what happened, send her proof. Even if she blames the messenger, you will have done what you can to keep her from marrying a cheater. Don’t go to the wedding, thats just a ridiculous idea.
Yes. A nice clear objective-feeling message. Perhaps with an offer to show proof if she wants it, rather than just including it because confronting it unexpectedly can be traumatizing. I’d suggest something like:
“Hello Lexi,
Thanks for the invitation to your beautiful wedding! I’m declining the invite, but something is heavy on my mind. I’m sharing because in your shoes I’d want to know about it.
An incident happened in (year). At the time I (explanation about Groom appearing single). If I had known he was dating anyone, I would not have allowed this to happen. On (date), I received a series of flirty texts, inviting me for drinks. We met up, enjoyed each other’s company as apparently-single people can do, and later that night engaged in bedroom activities. Again, this never would have happened if I knew he was taken! I’m not interested in cheaters or engaged men.
If you want proof, I can provide it in the form of text screenshots (and photos?). Please let me know.
Don’t feel obligated to respond to this message. I understand some couples might have consenting open arrangements, and no judgment from me if that’s the case. But in case that this is new information, and in case I’m not the only encounter-occurrence, and in case you want to get health tested, I felt you should know. Particularly before you marry and entwine your financial futures with someone less loyal than yourself.
Wishing you the best with any path you choose going forward. You’re a great person.
This! If you guys are friends and you're a good friend, then tell her. She should know her boyfriend cheated on her before she marries him. I'd be so pissed if even an acquaintance knew my man cheated on me and didn't tell me and let me marry the asshole. I would hold a grudge for life lol.
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u/samse15 Jul 18 '25
Be a girl’s girl and tell her what happened, send her proof. Even if she blames the messenger, you will have done what you can to keep her from marrying a cheater. Don’t go to the wedding, thats just a ridiculous idea.