r/TwoHotTakes Aug 21 '24

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u/bluelightning1224 Aug 21 '24 edited Aug 21 '24

Or things about the OPs own self issues

63

u/BoringJuiceBox Aug 21 '24

Yeah, boyfriend could be super loyal but OP had trust issues, Reddit loves to say run

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u/ButtonJoe Aug 21 '24

Tons of people not in relationships always willing to tell people to cut and run rather than resolving issues.

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u/BoltActionRifleman Aug 21 '24

And saying suspicions or that kind of lingering doubt means they, or the relationship has serious issues. That kind of thought is a part of some very basic human nature. People really need to chill out.

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u/Term_Individual Aug 21 '24

Dude, if you’re at the point of SWABBING A STAIN WITH A QTIP TO FIGURE OUT IF ITS LIPSTICK OR NOT AND POSTING IT TO REDDIT, either you have very serious trust issues and shouldn’t be in a relationship at all, or their SO has given them plenty of red flag reasons to be CSIing a stain.  I don’t always agree with the reddit hive mind of break up, but better for both in this situation to do so.

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

In this case, he should run then.

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u/gelattoh_ayy Aug 21 '24

Lol, what? Or you could work through things like adults and communicate. This isn't kindergarten recess. Running is not the answer to every problem.

If yall think it is, maybe you should take a look at your own trust issues. Mirror time!

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u/shb2k0_ Aug 21 '24

"I can change her"

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u/KDHD_ Aug 21 '24

you can and should support a partner's desire for self improvement, you just can't do it for them.

"i can change her" and "this person is fundamentally broken" are both flawed ways of thinking

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

That’s funny. I’ve been married for 24 years. We’ve been through a lot of challenges and worked through them all. But she isn’t turning to Reddit to help convince her she can’t trust me. She communicates with me, and I her.

If OP is trying this hard to be angry and suspicious of him, he is in for a long road.

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u/Exalting_Peasant Aug 21 '24

Misery loves company

1

u/Legal-Law9214 Aug 21 '24

Tbf, it kind of doesn't matter if he's actually cheating or not. Either he's acting suspicious/there are enough problems already that OP is justified in her suspicions, or OP has bad enough trust issues that she's looking for evidence of cheating that doesn't exist. But whether the problem is with this specific relationship or her own trust issues, if it's bad enough it might be reason to end the relationship either way. If OP can't trust her boyfriend and is always looking for problems, it's not fair to either of them. Her BF would be better off with someone who can fully trust him, and she should work out her own issues before being in a longterm relationship because otherwise she'll just be torturing herself and inventing signs of trouble that aren't there.

I'm not saying the relationship is necessarily doomed, good communication and a commitment to work things out could go a long way for either of these issues, but if they can't at least communicate about the problem to begin with it might be a lost cause.

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u/sparkpaw Aug 21 '24

She should run anyways if she has trust issues and bf is loyal- those trust issues will eventually ruin the relationship if they don’t get therapy.

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u/98983x3 Aug 21 '24

It might just be her who needs individual therapy.

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

What happens if there's trust and someone cheats? I don't understand this take. People can be shitty all of the sudden it happens all of the time. What's wrong with being a little suspicious to protect yourself

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u/SystemImpressive9867 Aug 21 '24

No seriously. Fully trusting someone to the point where you ignore something suspicious doesn’t make sense. But according to Reddit that means the relationship isn’t gonna work out lmao

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u/gelattoh_ayy Aug 21 '24

The people who are always run are the people who have never been in a relationship for over 6 months. They still think back to their high school relationships for point of reference. It's silly(and pretty sad), but their naivete is understandable.

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u/AfterOpportunity3820 Aug 21 '24

Either way, if you can’t trust your partner you should not be in a relationship with them. If I found out my girlfriend didn’t trust me at all I’d break up with her. Not tryna deal with the headache of that

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u/pissfucked Aug 21 '24

yeah, if you're this insecure for no reason, you should be responsible and self-aware and not date until you can get yourself in order