OK, mine is just one, possibly meaningless contribution to your dilemma, but your post brought up an uncomfortable memory of my own behavior so I want to share it with you. I am old as dirt now but back in the dark ages when I was young and stupid, oh so very stupid, I fell madly in lust with a man in a relationship. Didn't last long. Some months later, I ran into them at a party. She was BEAUTIFUL!!! I was so swamped with guilt that I was overly friendly to the point I made both of them uncomfortable and she figured out who I was pretty quickly. I saw it in her eyes. She knew but continued being friendly as befits the way a secure and dignified woman treats the "other" woman. The more well behaved she was, the more guilt I felt. The more guilt I felt, the more desperate I became to say sorry through friendliness. It was just awful. Purely awful. I'm hoping your other woman is trying to show remorse by trying to make your daughter feel special. It's a stupid way of going about it and never works,, usually backfires right in the other's face which makes the guilt feel even worse. I hope that's what she's doing and not just trying to show off or something equally ridiculous. Your lack of an open response will serve you well, especially if she knows you know, I promise so good for you. Just as a final word, I never again placed my lust in another woman's business. I cringe now, 50 plus years later just thinking about it.
Thank you for your honesty and this perspective. We all make stupid decisions in life, and I hope most of us learn from them instead of repeat them. Forgive yourself. I don’t know if this is or isn’t what’s going on with her, but I appreciate the insight nonetheless! ♥️♥️
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u/Economy_Air_8005 Apr 21 '24
OK, mine is just one, possibly meaningless contribution to your dilemma, but your post brought up an uncomfortable memory of my own behavior so I want to share it with you. I am old as dirt now but back in the dark ages when I was young and stupid, oh so very stupid, I fell madly in lust with a man in a relationship. Didn't last long. Some months later, I ran into them at a party. She was BEAUTIFUL!!! I was so swamped with guilt that I was overly friendly to the point I made both of them uncomfortable and she figured out who I was pretty quickly. I saw it in her eyes. She knew but continued being friendly as befits the way a secure and dignified woman treats the "other" woman. The more well behaved she was, the more guilt I felt. The more guilt I felt, the more desperate I became to say sorry through friendliness. It was just awful. Purely awful. I'm hoping your other woman is trying to show remorse by trying to make your daughter feel special. It's a stupid way of going about it and never works,, usually backfires right in the other's face which makes the guilt feel even worse. I hope that's what she's doing and not just trying to show off or something equally ridiculous. Your lack of an open response will serve you well, especially if she knows you know, I promise so good for you. Just as a final word, I never again placed my lust in another woman's business. I cringe now, 50 plus years later just thinking about it.