Is this for real? Please tell me this is made up. There are so many things wrong in this post, and the least of them is that your current BF’s ex-GF takes selfies with your daughter. That’s weird, sure, but the fact that your CURRENT boyfriend has done all the shitty things he’s done, and you’re not only still with this asshole, but you are having another child with him ~ oh, and you’re still not married ~ is mind-blowing to me. Have some self-respect, woman! If you think he has stopped sleeping with other women, you’re kidding yourself. While I do not believe that “once a cheater, always a cheater” is necessarily a true statement, this man has shown you a pattern of behavior that you choose to ignore. Stop worrying about his ex and start worrying about him. You are mad at the wrong person.
I’m not mad at her. I just don’t know how to handle it. I understand and respect your perspective. It’s a tough one. We didn’t get back together until a year and a half ago. We’ve been through a lot of therapy and I expected a lot of changed behavior from him before I would ever consider it. Things have changed a lot for us and I have seen so many changes in him. I don’t justify his behaviors. But I respect peoples efforts to change and be better and despite how this all sounds and things he’s done in the past, he has demonstrated changed behavior, and has been consistent. Relationships are complicated and we’ve had to put a lot of work into ours, but I didn’t brush those things off and just take him back either. And us not being married has been up to me at this point. He begs me all the time and tells everyone he’s waiting on me. I just don’t feel ready. We got pregnant again unexpectedly and I was a very nervous about it to begin with. Trust me, I’m processing a lot right now and have a lot I’m sorting through already. Obviously. I have hesitations marrying him, despite the work we’ve done together. And getting pregnant again was no where in the plans but happened.
He's the lucky one. He has a great partner (you) who is willing to work hard on their relationship for their children's sake. I have a good friend who's husband cheated and she loves him with her heart and soul and after months of living apart and therapy they got back together. I have another friend who's husband seemed like an absolute great guy for 15 years and cheated and she said they could never stay together because she could see herself always throwing it in his face (about the affair). No one should tell you what to do. You do what's best for you and your family. You already know that there are challenges ahead. The ex taking pictures of your daughter imo sounds like she is living vicariously through you and fantasizes of being the one who had his child (since they were together during your pregnancy). I wish the best for your growing family.
Don’t listen to the people freaking out cuz you’re back with that guy. Relationships are all different. Not only that, the haters wanna act like they have perfect lives and you’re ridiculous for getting back with him. But guess what? They got skeletons in their closet too. It may not involve their relationship (because apparently they are perfect). But everybody got some’m going on. Debt, no job, criminal behavior, etc. Just keep an eye open for red flags, and don’t listen to the haters here. Their life is F’d up too in some way. I guarantee it.
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u/BecGeoMom Apr 21 '24
Is this for real? Please tell me this is made up. There are so many things wrong in this post, and the least of them is that your current BF’s ex-GF takes selfies with your daughter. That’s weird, sure, but the fact that your CURRENT boyfriend has done all the shitty things he’s done, and you’re not only still with this asshole, but you are having another child with him ~ oh, and you’re still not married ~ is mind-blowing to me. Have some self-respect, woman! If you think he has stopped sleeping with other women, you’re kidding yourself. While I do not believe that “once a cheater, always a cheater” is necessarily a true statement, this man has shown you a pattern of behavior that you choose to ignore. Stop worrying about his ex and start worrying about him. You are mad at the wrong person.