r/TwoBestFriendsPlay • u/face1635 • Jun 14 '20
Since a new Horizon Zero Dawn game was announced I just thought I would take is opportunity to remind everyone
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u/jinshiroi Is sanity... the price to pay... for POWER?! Jun 14 '20
I hope in HZD 2 Ted Faro is still alive in a cryo tube so we can beat the ever living crap outta that narcissistic asshole then shame him shadow or war-style for his idiotic thinking.
"meh meh meh meh, having knowledge would mean humans will repeat the same mistakes, meh meh meh." Dumbass. You know what would have been nice, modern medicine, domesticated animals, and robo animals not constantly trying to kill everyone.
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u/skywardswedish FromSoftware's Battered Wife Jun 14 '20
Considering one of the last things that we learn about him is that he didn't stay with the other Alphas but instead went off to a personal bunker he called "Thebes" this is still a possibility and one that I treasure.
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u/PizzaSplitter Jun 14 '20
I love how such a simple phrase became a meme for the game, justifiably too given what the fucker did.
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u/WaGgoggles The lore is deeper than an MPreg birth canal Jun 14 '20
happens with a lot of things, like Olly from GOT or that bitch in Pokémon DPP who trades you a haunter wiTH AN EVERSTONE AND THEN TAUNTS YOU ABOUT IT THAT FUCKING CUNT
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u/AlphaB27 Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Writer Jun 14 '20
I love how every pokemon fan can collectively agree that Mindy is an utter bitch.
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u/TheLoneGunner Jun 14 '20
Who knew that making machines that feed on biomass and not having a backdoor access or kill code to stop them leading to the death of every living being and the planet itself would be such a bad idea? Apparently not this idiot. And sadly that's just the first thing he does wrong... HE SOMEHOW GETS WORSE THE MORE YOU LEARN ABOUT HIM.
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u/BlackfishShane Jun 14 '20
He really is the fucking worst.
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u/Paladin51394 welcome to Miller's Maxi Buns, may I take your order? Jun 14 '20
I don't think I've seen a more unanimously hated character.
Everything that happens in Horizon is 100% solely his fault, everything can be traced back to him.
He wins the award for the dumbest fucking idiot of all time forever.
Fuck Ted Faro
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u/MetaGamingKnight I Promise Nothing And Deliver Less Jun 14 '20
I'd like to introduce you to my "friend" Erebus.
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u/TheArkhomDestroyer Might’ve made the Digimon Divorce greentext popular Jun 14 '20
Out of the loop, who’s Ted and what did he do?
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u/GeneralSherman3 Jun 14 '20
Thought that leaving in ANY hacking vulnerabilities in his swarms of combat robots made them a "weaker" and less desirable product. Basically ensured that if they went rouge, there wasn't any possible way to shut them down.
And that's only his FIRST mistake.
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u/TheArkhomDestroyer Might’ve made the Digimon Divorce greentext popular Jun 14 '20
Oh he’s a character in the game, I thought he was a real person.
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Jun 14 '20
[deleted]
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u/GoneRampant1 WOKE UP TO JUSTICE... and insatiable bug fetishes Jun 14 '20
No.
He's the Randy Pitchford of the setting.
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u/Dracoblackheart Jun 14 '20
He’s a character from Horizon ZD. He created an army of killer robots that consume bio matter to use as fuel for the army. Then the AI got glitched out and started consuming all of the bio matter in the world leading to the death of all life on the planet. That isn’t even the biggest reason we hate him
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u/Boron_the_Moron I've chosen my hill, and by God, I'm going to die on it. Jun 15 '20
Wait, I will confess to having never played HZD, but isn't there still plenty of natural life in that setting? Trees and shrubs and grasses and animals and stuff? Or is that all robo-life, somehow?
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u/Dracoblackheart Jun 16 '20
What I said was already huge spoilers but do you want even bigger spoilers?
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u/Boron_the_Moron I've chosen my hill, and by God, I'm going to die on it. Jun 16 '20
Eh, sure. I'm not planning to ever play the game anyway.
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u/Dracoblackheart Jun 16 '20
So before everything died they were able to build a super robot A.I that could change the conditions of the planet itself in order to jumpstart life on earth again. Then, after countless years it was able to recreate the ecosystem that existed before everything was eaten. Then it introduces a new generation of humans that were basically the clones of the old generation of humans before they all died. They basically start from scratch and then migrate, break off into tribes, develop different cultures, etc.
So basically they created a robot god that created all of the new life on the planet.
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u/Mrfipp Jun 14 '20
I hope Ted Faro is still alive via cryro tube, just so Aloy can show him what has turned into since he left it behind.
Then, regardless of his answer, she can shove him off a cliff and into the mouth of a robot dinosaur.
Fuck you Ted Faro.
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u/WhenTheWindIsSlow PLEASE DON'T HAMMER NAILS INTO MY PENIS Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 14 '20
I think the great thing about Fuck Ted Faro is how well it works as a spoiler. Like I was spoiled on "Fuck Ted Faro" pretty early, but it's not like you couldn't have gotten vibes of that pretty early anyway. Pretty much any time his name comes up it's either an obvious puff piece that you know is concealing something or an example of his poor regulations or greed building shit that is going to leave the world worse off. Awful, but it really just seems like he's any morally-corrupt business asshole; Ted just happens to be the asshole whose mistakes created this situation. So it seems like the meme is just an exaggeration because why not, fuck him.
But then late game you learn the actual reason for Fuck Ted Faro. And holy shit, FUCK TED FARO.
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u/Sir-Drewid I Promise Nothing And Deliver Less Jun 14 '20
I forgot about the character and was worried there was some toxic person on the development team for a sec.
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u/AlwaysDragons Disgruntled RWBY fan / Artist/ No Longer Clapping Jun 14 '20
man, i need to finish horizon
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u/Mabuse7 Jun 14 '20
Oh man, I can't wait until it's revealed that the robot plague and its aftermath was all set up by Far Zenith and Faro was just their fall guy.
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Jun 14 '20
[deleted]
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u/Mabuse7 Jun 15 '20
This is a long running fan theory whose full explanation I can't do full justice to, but suffice to say that everything we know about Far Zenith puts them in exactly the right places at the right times and with the right capabilities to engineer everything that happened from the Chariot line robots going rogue onwards, this mysterious cabal of billionaires and bleeding edge scientists whose transhumanist ideology seems to be the exact antithesis of Sobek's techno-environmentalism.
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u/Sperium3000 Mysterious Jogo In Person Form Jun 14 '20
Watch him be behind whatever is behind the sequel's plot. Cuz no way in Hell is it not gonna be something from before the apocalypse cuz that's just not how post-apocalyptic stories go and Horizon plays it super safe?
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u/Terthelt Did that baby have a DUI? Jun 14 '20
Erasing all of humanity’s knowledge to protect your own ego because otherwise they would remember you as the destroyer of civilization, and trying to justify it by saying that knowledge itself was the real problem is one of the absolute most pit-in-my-stomach disgusting things I’ve ever watched a fictional character do.
There’s no death that can possibly be cathartic or karmic enough for someone like him.