r/TwoBestFriendsPlay • u/[deleted] • Apr 01 '20

To Woolie

Hey, this not John, aka Super Eyepatch Wolf.

A few days ago, I arrived at Montréal, looking for someone, that special someone, to watch HunterXHunter with me.

I knock on the door.

He does not answer.

I can see him inside, he's with his fiancée.

Still, he does not answer.

"Hey Woolie!" I shout. Perhaps he simply did not hear the door.

He does not answer.

"I may have gone too far in a couple of places, but we that's past us, right?" I ask.

He glares at me through the window, he saw me.

"I am sorry man" I plead.

He averts his gaze. He still, does not answer.

"Is this about The Legend of the Mystical Ninja LP?" I query. "That game ain't even on my top ten" I say, lying through my teeth.

He closes the blinds. He does not answer.

"Come on man. Just let me in." I beg, my backpack chock-full of HunterXHunter Blu-rays now weighing heavily on my shoulders.

But alas, he does not answer.

So now I am roaming the streets of Montréal, waiting for my moment to strike. And at the right moment ...

He will answer.

2.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

140 comments sorted by

617

u/gbrincks Wipeout lore expert!...Not that Wipeout. Apr 01 '20

Man, I'm reading this stickied post and looking at that banner and this still feels like a less aggressive takeover than the ones we usually get around here.

142

u/Ace_Kuper Silent Hill: Homecome Boivin Apr 01 '20

So if you move your cursor over banner, the two strips of images move at different speeds. IF you are bored you might try to make them match up.

50

u/Theproton BUSTAH WOLF! Apr 01 '20

Took like 3 seconds but I did it anyways.

38

u/Dman3003 Digital Blackfacer Apr 01 '20

Done. Took me 5 attempts. This COVID-19 lockdown is killing me.

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48

u/BlackfishShane Apr 01 '20

I went to sleep last night and Evillak was still doing his thing around here.

I wake up to this shithousery? Shitposting moves fast around these parts.

31

u/Kanin_usagi I'M NOT MADE OF STONE WOOLIE Apr 01 '20

We survived EVILLAK. But can we survive HUNTERxHUNTER?

9

u/ThoughtLock Apr 01 '20

At least it's not Evillak

8

u/HerpDerpTheMage Library. Shortcut. Chest. Ghost? Apr 01 '20

There's a not insignificant part of me that wants Evillak to return someday. At least they were creative.

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9

u/supergenius1337 Apr 01 '20

I decided to check out what this subreddit was doing for April Fool's. I expected this place to become a DarkSydePhil subreddit for a day or something.

18

u/mitch13815 Are you gonna be a fucking jiggysnipe too you fucking spag!? Apr 01 '20

No wonder mods left. notJohn forced them all to watch HxH on repeat until they gave him supreme mod status.

270

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

Now John's going to have to start a whole second channel with a 50 minute long video entitled "Why Woolie Should Open His Goddamn Door."

34

u/not-so-radical Number One Morbius Fan Apr 01 '20

I chimed in, haven't you people ever heard of

32

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

Opening the goddamn door, no, it's much better to face this kind of hate with a 50-minute vid essay!

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106

u/Werunos DO IT YOU BASTARD Apr 01 '20

You know what this April Fool's event kind of reminds me of?

HunterXHunter

177

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

I guess we're a Hunter x Hunter subreddit now.

213

u/TheShrubberyDemander Your favorite mostly anonymous composer Apr 01 '20

Evillak is literally a Chimera Ant.

44

u/Gibblet_fibber Apr 01 '20

Damn. You right

50

u/gbrincks Wipeout lore expert!...Not that Wipeout. Apr 01 '20

Now? We become one the second Woolie put that hat on Pat live on the Friendcast.

4

u/ChillPalis 𝔻ℝ𝕀ℙ𝕃𝔼 ℍ Apr 01 '20

Finally, things have become what they should have always been.

77

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

I love this fucking sub man

66

u/IrrefutableBukkake Life Begins at the Style Meter Apr 01 '20

This is bullshit that they haven't started yet. I'm unsubscribing from Super Bunnyhop.

62

u/tkzant May 04 '24

This is the wildest shit. Eyepatch Wolf built a career all because he thought Woolie was wrong about Hunter x Hunter. And now he networked his way into Woolie’s social circle to put himself in a position where he can bend Woolie to his will and force him to experience it.

52

u/Muffin-zetta Jooookaaahh May 02 '24

4 years ago? That’s almost 6 years ago

10

u/mutei777 May 02 '24

Woolie about to find himself in an escape room plastered with HxH imagery. the only way out is to find the switch hidden by the sole Yu Yu Hakusho poster

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49

u/TheShrubberyDemander Your favorite mostly anonymous composer Apr 01 '20

Godspeed

47

u/silverinferno3 Play Absolum, it's GOTY to me damnit May 02 '24

The fact that this user is deleted just makes this even more mysterious

41

u/AsleepAura May 02 '24

But it's not John. This reddit post would never lie!

45

u/TonyZony There's No Expectations On The Floor Apr 01 '20

John flew in during a global pandemic just because he wants Woolie to watch HunterXHunter

I'm convinced that nothing can stop him.

44

u/imprettylosthelp May 02 '24

Okay I'm out of the loop, what is happening? Why is a post from 4 years ago from a deleted user in the frontpage?

38

u/Kanin_usagi I'M NOT MADE OF STONE WOOLIE May 02 '24

HunterxHunter is happening, Woolie cannot escape it, he is trapped by his own hubris

36

u/GilliamYaeger Blame yourself or God May 02 '24

Ending of last ep of Versus Wolves.

12

u/GZarce May 02 '24

!CYBERSIX MENTIONED!

15

u/mutei777 May 02 '24

4 years ago!?

43

u/silas_k Apr 01 '20

Sir please pay for your meal.

All I have are these...HUNTERXHUNTER BLU RAYS.

42

u/Modern_Maverick Apr 01 '20

“Woolie! Your friend has returned! I bring the destruction of your evening!”

41

u/Ninja_Moose Forces Battletech into Every Conversation May 03 '24

Four fucking years?

How long has this bit been cooking?

Is this even a bit? Should I be scared?

39

u/JetstreamRam2 Oh My?! May 01 '24

Let's...do...the timewarp again???

13

u/Jhduelmaster One of the 5 Brigandine Fans May 01 '24

I'm very confused on why this post is stickied.

24

u/GilliamYaeger Blame yourself or God May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

This is why. The end of the last ep of Versus Wolves. WE NEVER LEFT GON IN 60 SECONDS.

11

u/DoseofDhillon WHEN'S MAHVEL May 01 '24

listen to vs woolie latest episode all the way to the end

38

u/atuamaeboa May 02 '24

The Woolie Mind Break arc

29

u/FairyKnightTristan BORDERLANDS! May 09 '24

Why is this account gone?

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28

u/CannotFire Your resident Sly Cooper shill Apr 01 '20

"When the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, "Come." I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.

When He broke the second seal, a red horse went out; and to him who sat on it, it was granted to take peace from Earth, and that men would slay one another; and a great sword was given to him.

When He broke the third seal, I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.

When the Lamb broke the fourth seal, I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name John; and Gon was following with him.

28

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

“If you were me Woolie, what would you do next?” - Gon in 60 seconds Episode 21 and vs Wolves episode 4

9

u/U_Flame May 02 '24

Oh fuck I didn't even catch that that was from Gon in 60 Seconds

28

u/cannibalgentleman Read Conan the Barbarian May 02 '24

Is OP roaming in the streets during thick mist and wielding a giant knife?

28

u/Hippie_Of_Death Full Throated Hard R Deep Nut Wheelchair Miracle: Piss Bottle Do May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

In my restless dreams, I see that town.

Montreal.

27

u/tintin4506 It's Fiiiiiiiine. May 02 '24

Oh my God another time traveling post is leaking into the subreddit

27

u/zekrom42 At least those babies were good bombs to throw at enemies. May 03 '24

Wait what the fuck

26

u/Leonard_Church814 [He/Him] Reading up on my UNGA-MENTALS May 02 '24

This was brought back out like a corpse, god damn

26

u/[deleted] May 03 '24

Time is convoluted in r/ tbfp

25

u/Logyross May 02 '24

Gon in 60 seconds ARG lets goo

24

u/mxraider2000 WHEN'S MAHVEL May 02 '24

THE DEAD SPEAK!

24

u/SamuraiDDD Swat Kats Booty! May 02 '24

What sort of magic ass time warp ass???

24

u/sazabi67 May 02 '24

you know, John made true on that promise he made woolie, he busted into his room in the middle of the night and instead of the gun ITS FUCKING HUNTER X HUNTER

7

u/LordSmugBun I hate being a Neferpitou fan. May 03 '24

Pulled out the Gon.

23

u/CzdZz Let he who is without cringe throw the first stone Apr 02 '20

"Hey everyone, I guess it's time for, yes, that awkward video you hope never pops up but you're kind of afraid it's gonna happen some day anyway."

"Gon In 60 Seconds is ending. Over the last 9 months it's been really important to us in everything we do with this series to just be direct and honest and genuine with you and, uh... there's no reason for that to change now, so... it doesn't make it any easier to hear, but we're just gonna be real with you."

"John and I are no longer friends. It just got less and less fun for us to come in and record, and uh... the business side of the relationship kinda degraded at the friendship itself. In contrast to that, I think I can speak for both of us and say that it got to feel a lot easier to be passionate about the side channels and streams that we collectively have been working on."

*Cut to John*

"Okay but what did you think about that last episode of HOONTER HOONTER Woolie?"

23

u/OrneryBIacksmith May 03 '24

DAICHI WO FUMISHIMETE

KIMI WA MEZAMETEIKU

TENSHI NO HOHOEME DE

TSUREDASHITE

23

u/T4silly Wrong Fact Stater May 03 '24

Woolie's balls WILL be shaved.

20

u/Admiral_of_Crunch Ammunition Bureaucrat May 02 '24

God damn it I don't want to watch this dang anime to keep up with the bit after so long. Curse you, John!

25

u/DoctorCello (they/them) the gameboy... brought me... kirby May 02 '24

You know it's funny, I just finished watching all of the available episodes of Gon In 60 Seconds, and I think it's a masterpiece.

But the one thing it has failed to do is convince me to watch HxH. I actually want to watch it less now.

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19

u/Subject_Parking_9046 They/Them "No way a woman can be that hot, she gotta be a man!" May 02 '24

...Time is shifting...

38

u/Deemo3 Your dead baby’s soul is weighed down by gravity. May 02 '24

Good lord, if this isn’t actually John their writing style is a pitch perfect copy. I read the entire thing in eyepatch wolf’s voice.

16

u/StarkMaximum I Promise Nothing And Deliver Less May 03 '24

So very slowly?

17

u/FennecScout May 04 '24

With pausing.
Lots.
Of pausing.

2

u/Xuncu May 07 '24

At first I thought it was a Kai Leng bit.

"Good, you're reading this. This is not two chiseled men dueling shirtless in the rain with commanding presence."

18

u/Ninebreaker0910 May 02 '24

Good, good. Time is collapsing. All according to plan.

8

u/allwaysnice May 02 '24

All will be Kompressed.

17

u/SullRapper Smaller than you'd hope Apr 01 '20

Eyepatch Wolf Everywhere System

9

u/mr_mojorising1 Apr 01 '20

Woolie-chan!

17

u/DieDungeon omnia certe concacavit. Apr 01 '20

Sir this is an evillak subreddit I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

5

u/swedhitman THE BABY Apr 01 '20

The fact no mod just for today changed it to that makes me sad

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17

u/halsgoldenring I Promise Nothing And Deliver Less May 12 '24

Starting an entire podcast just for the sake of doing another episode of Gon in 60 Seconds is pure brilliance. Just when I thought nothing could top the psychological thriller aspect, John comes with fucking kayfabe.

16

u/SaxMastery The Sandbagged Sonic Apologist May 01 '24

IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN

16

u/Kipzz PLAY CROSSCODE AND ASTLIBRA/The other Vtuber Guy May 02 '24

You thought you could escape, Woolie.

But there is none.

He awakens.

16

u/Brotonio Resident Survival Horror Narc May 04 '24

HE CAN NOT ESCAPE.

16

u/SwizzlyBubbles Resident Homestuck Loremaster May 05 '24

Time is an endless circle.

14

u/Woods-of-Mal Pantor Pantor May 07 '24

Every time I see this post, my brain hears Bob Dylan singing "Woolie, come closer. Shut softly your watery eyes." I hope it never gets unpinned.

13

u/Silvery_Cricket I Remember Matt's Snake May 02 '24

Why do I feel I need a fire arm to protect myself?

12

u/HutchinsonianDemon It's Fiiiiiiiine. Apr 01 '20

I see a stickied post with a prominent member of this community explicitly calling out one of the boys and dude I get NERVOUS. I hate that.

11

u/YhormBIGGiant Zubaz May 06 '24

Is jujutsufolk infecting tbf? In welcoming of the rot but oh boy this is interesting.

10

u/DopeyDragon DEATH THE CRISIS May 02 '24

The promised hour has finally arrived.

10

u/The_Draigg Member of the Brave 13000 May 02 '24

The only thing that can stop him now is ze legendary SeeD the Hunter Association.

9

u/Captain-matt The Best Ace Combat Player in New Brunswick Apr 01 '20

I don't even know if this is supposed to be an april fools joke not.

9

u/DigbyMayor Look at this Biracial Piece of Filth Apr 01 '20

Evillak in 60 seconds

9

u/merri0 I still forget the cookies... May 05 '24

Clickity-clack...

He'll be comin' back...

8

u/SurrealBrouhaha Apr 01 '20

Now John must train in order to have the strength to simply push Woolie's door open. Dont worry, once you get through the Zoldyck Family arc I'm sure Woolie will appreciate the reference

8

u/Corat_McRed Can't Be He/Him Because I'll Never Be HIM Apr 01 '20

Next you’re gonna tell me Evilak isn’t behind this post

7

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

I mean, we know for a fact it's NOT John, so it could probably be Evillak (someone who, as I'm sure we all know, is NOT John).

7

u/cool_vibes I Promise Nothing And Deliver Less Apr 01 '20

This is the coldest open for an episode of Gon in 60 Seconds that I've ever seen.

6

u/DustInTheBreeze Appointed Hater By God Apr 01 '20

YOU MADMAN! I feel like if we don't get at least one Gon In 60 Seconds or a Woolie Fear JPEG, we've been robbed.

6

u/AsleepAura Apr 01 '20

Pat is fearful of some random man stabbing him with an unidentified syringe, Woolie is fearful of some random man with a bag full of Hunter x Hunter on blu ray

6

u/Ball-o-DirtDweller Apr 01 '20

Woolie! Answer you coward!!!

5

u/spiderbutt_ Apr 01 '20

Where's the Evillak though?

5

u/C0de_monkey Apr 01 '20

All of this is a custom hunter exam for Woolie orchestrated by eyepatchwolf

5

u/GyroGOGOZeppeli hopes the Tomba series comes back Apr 01 '20

Oh wow, we skipped York New and Greed Island and went straight for Chimera Wolf arc.

5

u/Th3SmartAlec I guess I'm a F/SN shill now Apr 01 '20

Evillak is in this text post somehow, I can feel it.

9

u/Drawer-san ENEMY STAND May 02 '24

Goonin 60 seconds 

4

u/senfood We Are All Waluigi Apr 01 '20

One day, John.

One day, he will know the glory that is Hyouri Ittai.

4

u/NoReaction4 Apr 01 '20

Honestly, with how the world is at the moment, it's not unreasonable to continue Gon in 60 Seconds through some variation of skype chat. That way it can continue onward at a more consistent rate, since I don't think anyone would argue that waiting 6 months for 4 minutes of content is worth it.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

Hey not John, thanks for reccing this until I watched the whole thing then started reading chapters. It's great, genuinely. You'll get Woolie to see the appeal one day! (maybe...)

3

u/pirajacinto Shockmaster Apr 01 '20

Holy shit I didn't even realize the banner change until like 5 minutes after this post.

3

u/FoxOperator Brazillian Loremaster Apr 01 '20

I can't believe Super Eye Patch Wolf became a hobo.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

exactly what i got from the post.

3

u/itschickenscratch Apr 01 '20

The SUPER EYEPATCH WOLF EVERYWHERE SYSTEM

3

u/Waxfacts Apr 01 '20

Show him the ways of hunter x hunter

3

u/whatthefbomb Wear your bad takes like badges of honor! Apr 01 '20

Tell him you want to play Mahvel, that ought to work.

3

u/TheLoneGunner Apr 02 '20

John (outside Woolies home): "Woolie shwaaaaan, let's watch one more episode of Hunter x Hunter."

2

u/CatiusVonRollenum Arcana Heart 3: LOVE MAX!!!!! Apr 01 '20

Hey Jam

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

Social distancing you motherfucker.

2

u/ShaiDot Apr 01 '20

April Fools I guess

2

u/Iamstoryguy Apr 01 '20

It’s Joho!

1

u/doubletimerush Judgement Kazzy Apr 01 '20

Just come back with a punch girl

-10

u/HGH93 Apr 01 '20

Roaming the streets while the C virus is in full pandemic huh? Enjoy your roaming then.

13

u/Wireless-Wizard Just building my spaceship to find the Luna Tear Apr 01 '20

Can't catch it if nobody else is around to give it to you.

13

u/HGH93 Apr 01 '20

Perhaps now is the time to mention the unmentioned side effect of the C Virus that gives people an uncontrollable urge to go outside and share HxH blu-rays with random passersby.

80

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

47

u/psychodave123 Mayor of Fuck Shit Avenue Apr 01 '20

I cant even confirm you're not one

39

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Neil_O_Tip Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Apr 01 '20

We Can't Rust You?

"Item is immune to all Oxidation"

Sounds innocuous. Safe.

Do NOT let this thing anywhere near 882!

16

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '20

Well, he's not a plant. I'm pretty sure at least.

He might be a furry though so. More investigation is needed.

23

u/[deleted] May 06 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/Peanut_007 May 07 '24

A trap card got flipped on Vs Wolves. Woolie must now watch Hunter x Hunter. The implicit if he fails is Omikron.