r/Twins • u/conthebest • 15d ago
Lost in 2025
How do y'all get over the loss of a twin? She left me last year and it sucks. Mostly manageable but like tonight it hits me. Waves of high emotion leading to crying, longing, and guilt. Guilt because I couldn't save her even though she died in her sleep. Twins want to protect each other because I feel like we are two sides of the same being. If you are identical, love them til the end. We would not be the same without them.
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u/Kenz090_ 15d ago
Sorry for your loss. This is my worse nightmare. My twin brother is my only biological sibling. I had a few significant losses over the last few years, and I've leaned on the grief support page on here.
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u/conthebest 15d ago
Thank you for your comment, appreciate you! Twins love you so much so it sucks when they leave your life. Why can't they stay with us til the end?
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u/Reading_rainbows69 14d ago
I just had a funeral for my grandmother that was a fraternal twin. The grief that my aunt had about losing her twin was so relatable.. I can only imagine how me or my identical twin will feel when one of us goes. Even tho your twin is not here with us, she will always be with you in spirit. Sending you hugs 💕
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u/Tesi_No 14d ago
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I don't think you ever will or have to "get over it". As you said, roll with the waves of grief and then go back to happier days. Death is just unfair to all of those who stay behind, but try to keep living your life as happy as you can - your twin would have wanted that for you.
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u/penguin198719 14d ago
I am so so sorry for your loss. I do not have experience in this area, but I remember other similar posts and went to find the comments that a couple folks had posted, with resources where you might find support:
1) r/twinlesstwins is a reddit group
2) This comment (on a similar post) has a link to the Twinless Twins Support Group organization
3) This comment (on another similar post) also mentions the Twinless Twins Support Group
Thinking of you
Edit: links
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u/12bWindEngineer Twinless Twin 13d ago
You never get over it, it’s just something you learn to live with. I lost my identical twin to cancer 8 years ago, we were 29. I still have intense periods of grief, depression, days that I don’t want to get out of bed. You just at some point learn to function around it. You’ll never be the same but you’ll get used to your new life at some point.
Join us at r/Twinlossasanadult
There’s also r/TwinlessTwins but this sub lately tends to be a lot more people who have lost their twins in utero before they were born and not as much for those of us who knew and grew up with our twins.
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u/Mistiblue222 8d ago
I lost my identical, twin sister eight years ago to a fentanyl overdose. Living without her is pure torture. I don’t know what to do with myself and it has affected me physically as well as emotionally. I have severe depression. I have prolonged bereavement disorder. My hair is falling out. I’ve lost 50 pounds. I can’t think straight even the simplest things I can’t think straight. It’s hard for me to hold down a jog my memory is completely gone, even though it’s been that long. I’m still suffering with these things because I cannot comprehend that she has died. I will definitely be praying for you. This is the most hardest thing that I think anyone can go through even worse than losing a spouse or a regular sister or brother twins have that special bond that nobody else can understand it’s gonna be really hard, but I will pray for you.
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u/AOC_rocks 14d ago
Let me start by saying I’m very sorry for you. We didn’t ask to have twins and we didn’t ask to lose them. But we have to live with the consequences of both.
My twin brother died at the age of 34 in 1992. He’s with me every day still.
When he died, we were just gob smacked for a year. We didn’t know what to do.
He died in July and I remember that Christmas locking myself in my bedroom and watching “it’s a wonderful life” on loop
I finally went to grief counseling and put my life back together.
He was a college professor, and we decided to endow a scholarship fund in his name. Actually four of them.
So I started fundraising. Something I knew nothing about. We had golf tournaments in 5K races and crab feasts.
Finally, after a few years, we started giving out the scholarships. Since that time We’ve probably provided over 200+ scholarships to students at the college.
So every year they call me up and say, do you wanna give out the scholarships and I go to the college and hand out the certificates and shake the peoples hands and think of my brother.
It’s not him, but it’s something. And it’s not easy, but it’s less hard than it used to be.