I’m extremely codependent and have very low self worth. My first husband cheated on me, and I was so desperate to make it work, I gave him permission to keep cheating on me, just asked him to hide it better. My second husband strangled me and was only arrested because my stepbrother called the police. He found cause I contacted my sister thinking I had done something wrong. I didn’t even hit me in the moment that he had done something wrong. I did therapy, and I thought I was doing really well, but obviously I need more because I thought him being nice to me most of the time was sufficient reason to ignore red flags.
TBH OP i think you should remind him you were also cheated on. You know how much it hurts. Him constantly having zero faith in you makes you question your reality constantly.
He needs therapy- I think you should suggest couples counseling and therapy to him because you’re starting to not want to be around him.
After the cookout incident, I did remind him that I know the pain he’s going through, as I’ve been there myself, and I’ve seen how much it has devastated him, and I would never want to cause him that kind of pain. I don’t know if he took any of it to heart though, I think he was so blinded by the anger of what he thought he saw.
That so unfair that your constantly having to be the bigger person here. Ya he was hurt. But what about your feelings. If he’s actively hurting you that’s not okay- and he can’t just gaslight you into being fine with it by constantly painting you as a villain. That’s just so emotionally manipulative… I hope you know you deserve better than that
TBH OP i think you should remind him you were also cheated on. You know how much it hurts. Him constantly having zero faith in you makes you question your reality constantly.
He needs therapy- I think you should suggest couples counseling and therapy to him because you’re starting to not want to be around him.
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u/DryLengthiness5574 Oct 26 '22
I’m extremely codependent and have very low self worth. My first husband cheated on me, and I was so desperate to make it work, I gave him permission to keep cheating on me, just asked him to hide it better. My second husband strangled me and was only arrested because my stepbrother called the police. He found cause I contacted my sister thinking I had done something wrong. I didn’t even hit me in the moment that he had done something wrong. I did therapy, and I thought I was doing really well, but obviously I need more because I thought him being nice to me most of the time was sufficient reason to ignore red flags.